Holding hands as life goes on

They were holding hands on a beach. On her beach. On the beach she hated more then any other place in any universe. And when she looked at him and looked into his chocolate eyes, she saw him looking back in love and longing and desperation. She knew he was scared; he was scared she would reject him. So she squeezed his hand and her heart sang as he smiled and squeezed hers back.

Jackie's voice cut through her fuzzy mind, "Well, standing there staring is going to do no good. C'mon you crazy people" Jackie turned and began walking up the beach, they trudged after her still holding hands. And Jackie smiled because her Rose was happy, and that Doctor was with them, and her Rose was very happy.

Being the head of Torchwood had its perks. Like being allowed to hitch a lift in a private helicopter. When they landed on the mansions lawn Jackie rushed into the house calling for Pete, shouting out the instructions he should have followed but no doubt failed to.

Jackie had the wiggling bundle in her arms when the Doctor and Rose entered the living room. Rose smiled and took the baby from her mother. "Doctor, meet Tony. Tony, this is the Doctor." The Doctor grinned and held out his arms, a questioning look on his face. Rose gently placed Tony into his arms and watched as his face lit up and all his attention was focused on the tiny person in his arms. Jackie and Rose quietly filled Pete in. Pete was looked rather shocked by the end of it but stood up and went over to the Doctor who was still holding Tony reverently. "Welcome to the family, son." Pete said. And the Doctor grinned.

"Group hug." Jackie cried and they all converged in the centre of the room. Rose and Jackie were weeping openly and even the Doctor's eyes were looking suspiciously wet.

After Tony had been suitably cooed over, Jackie and Pete took their baby and went gratefully to bed. Rose and the Doctor were sitting on the couch, watching the fire in the grate sink into embers and the embers glow and dance. They didn't say anything. Neither of them felt the need to. A small cough interrupted them, Mandy, one of the maids was standing at the doorway. "Would you like me to prepare a guest bedroom for you friend, Miss Rose?"

Rose looked at the Doctor curiously. "Um, you could stay in the guest room if you want…"

The Doctor smiled shyly, "What do you want?"

Rose looked into his fathomless eyes, she was sinking, floating away. "You could stay with me, you know…." She trailed off, embarrassed. Of course he wouldn't want to. He was half Time Lord. But remembering the thrill his whispered words had caused to course through her veins, she felt bound to ask him. Rose could still remember his lips on hers, the feeling of merging, becoming one, it was like dying and being reborn all at once, fire and ice. Totally the Doctor.

"I'd love to, Rose" said the Doctor. The maid slipped away silently. But she could have bashed through the whole house with a marching band and the Doctor and Rose wouldn't have noticed. They were still gazing into each others eyes. Wow! Mandy thought, they've got it bad!

The Doctor held out his hand and Rose wordlessly slipped her fingers into his, they were warmer then she remembered. But still so solidly there, better then the million dreams she'd had, better then anything. This Doctor and the Doctor on the other side of the void had given her a miracle. She owed it to them not to regret a thing.

Up the huge staircase and down a corridor to their left. Rose was leading the way, tugging gently on the Doctor hand. At the end of the corridor was a wooden door. Rose went to open it but the Doctor stopped her. Slipping his hand away, he put one arm around Rose's waist and with a twinkle in his eyes, swept her suddenly off the floor and into his arms. Rose shrieked and giggled madly. Nudging the door open with his hip the Doctor walked into an airy living room, it was cream and had tow large windows. The night stars shone down through the gauzy curtains. Soft, squishy armchairs and sofas where clustered around the coffee table and the empty fireplace.

Rose pointed to the left hand door, the other presumably led to her en suite. "Put me down now Doctor." He did so, but refused to lessen the possessive grip around her waist.

Rose's door opened and the Doctor gasped. The walls were painted a deep gold, same at the TARDIS walls. Her bed was in the middle of the room, it was covered in an aqua duvet. There was another window in this room too; a light breeze fluttered the curtains gently. On the dressing table there were pictures as Tony, Jackie, Pete and Mickey. Taking pride of place was a picture of Rose and the Doctor laughing like maniacs their Christmas cracker hats askew.

The Doctor smiled and looked at Rose, her hair was dishevelled from being carried, she wasn't wearing any make up and there were slight dark circles under her eyes. But to the Doctor she had never looked more beautiful.

He crossed the room and stood awkwardly a few centimetres away from her. Rose was also looking a bit insecure. The Doctor was comforted to know she was nervous too. He raised a hand and gently stroked her cheek, tentatively he placed his lips on hers.

This kiss made the one on the beach pale in comparison. That kiss had been frantic and desperate. This kiss was filled with promise, love and security. Luckily the bed cushioned Roses fall as her knees gave way completely.

***

Rose woke before the Doctor. She blinked in the light that filtered through her bedroom curtains. She became aware of an arm wrapped around her and a warm someone lying next to her. The Doctor looked peaceful in sleep, and Rose savoured the sight. When she had been travelling with him she had never actually seen him properly sleep. Unless you counted when he regenerated. A small smile played on his lips even in sleep and his brow was slightly furrowed. Rose sighed contentedly and snuggled down into his arms. The Doctor woke and looked blearily and his smile grew into a grin that split his face in half. Rose returned it.

"Good morning!" she murmured.

"Good morning to you too, love" the Doctor whispered back. It felt right to call her that.

Rose smiled a shiver tingled down her spine. "I love you" she said simply. He already knew of course but she hadn't actually said those words since they had come to this universe together. "My Doctor."

"My wonderful," 'he kissed her neck, "fantastic," he kissed her chin, "drop dead gorgeous," he kissed her lightly on the lips, "Rose." She dived at his lips and claimed them for the next ten minutes.

Breathless she smiled again. "My miracle."

He frowned a mock outraged expression crossed his features. "Oi! I was going to use that! Now you have completely stolen my thunder." Rose collapsed into giggles.

"Oh, I've missed you." She whispered.

The Doctor wrapped his arms even more tightly around her. "Quite right to." He paused and inhaled the sweet scent of Rose. "But I'm not going anywhere now."

Rose gasped, horrified. "Does that mean I'm stuck with you?"

The Doctor grinned his most Doctory grin. "Oh yes." He said, until her lips once again demanded his unwavering attention.

***

Not so far away, but further then he wanted and no closer then he could get, the Doctor stood in his empty TARDIS.

Donna was gone.

Rose was gone.

He was gone with Rose.

They had held hands on a beach. On her beach. On the beach he hated more then any other place in any universe. And when he looked at them. He knew they would have the best life. The life his Rose had earned.

The Doctor could see them kissing, he remembered that the other Doctor got to say those three wonderful words he could never tell her. The three wonderful words he had been too afraid to tell her all that time when he had to bite his tongue in half not to scream them to the stars.

He could picture them living together. Getting married. Having a baby with Rose's ears and eyes and his smile. My smile, the Doctor thought. But Rose deserved it. And no matter what pain it caused the Doctor she would have everything she wanted. Because she deserved it. They could have the one adventure he longed for but could never have.

The curse of the Time Lords.

With an excruciating howl The Doctor broke down in sobs.

The TARDIS hummed comfortingly as the Doctor wept.

Fin