Inspired by fiercesunshine's sentence-story response Sandstorm. Specifically, #92.

Disclaimer: Own the idea, but not FFXII.

Warning: Rape, lime, slightly disturbing themes.

BaltheirXVaan

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92. Rape

'It's funny,' Vaan thinks, 'the things you get used to when you're an orphan in a conquered empire.'

As the Desert Flower, Vaan knew the darker sides to hume lust, had been on the receiving end of it one to many times in order to keep the war-orphaned kids of Rabanastre safe from the same destructive force.

Only Penelo, the Imperials, and two Imperials who weren't really Imperials knew about his title, and he planned on keeping it that way. So he didn't think about it when Balthier pulled him aside and told him he loved him.

And he didn't think about it when he'd smiled and kissed the Sky Pirate in turn, hoping he'd see the message beneath in press of lips. 'I love you, to…' Unfortunately, he was forced to think about it for a moment then, but only for a moment, before it was forgotten.

He'd gotten the shock of his life when Balthier admitted to him that his Father, and thus him as well, was an Imperial (though it wasn't until a while later that he'd get the real one).

And he hadn't been thinking about it when Balthier half teasingly asked him one day why he had never told him he loved him. For an answer, he just gave him a mysterious smile and a kiss that led to their first night of passion, and when they finally both caved into oblivion, Vaan wasn't thinking about it when, so quietly Baltheir almost missed it, he whispered those three words softly into his ear.

Vaan wasn't thinking about how many Imperials he'd have to service (all but the one he wanted) the night they went back to Rabanastre for a few days of rest. And he wasn't thinking of anything except for how happy he was when Barbahk, a high-ranking Imperial who wasn't an Imperial, hugged him from behind and told him he could have the night off.

But he was thinking about it when someone came up behind Barkbahk, the Imperial who wasn't an Imperial, and tapped him on the shoulder before eyeing Vaan appreciatively and smiling. And he was forced to think about it when, this Imperial who was higher-ranking then his high-ranking non-Imperial, told Barbahk he could go, as he was sure 'this handsome young boy wouldn't mind showing him around instead.'

Vaan was thinking about it as he showed this higher-ranked Imperial, who had introduced himself as Dr. Cid, all the nooks and crannies that only an orphan would know. And he was thinking about it when Dr. Cid took him out for lunch and told him he was having dinner with him that night. He couldn't really refuse.

He was thinking about what this 'Dr. Cid' could do to him when he finally dragged the boy off to bed, and was eerily surprised when there was nothing asked of him except that he sleep. However, even without knowing, he knew it was not to be the same the next day.

He wasn't thinking about it when he got a letter that after noon saying that his gracious host would be expecting him that night, and to bring some other clothes with him that would last for a few days. And he wasn't thinking about it when Balthier stormed into their shared cabin on the Strahl demanding answers to questions he couldn't ask (at least not at their current location).

But he was forced to think about, around the person he never wanted to think about it around, when he lead Baltheir through Giza Plains and towards the Crystal Glade so there was no chance they could be over-heard.

He was forced to think about it as Balthier glared darkly at him, and with a voice hoarse from burning rage, asked him why he had seen him with the good 'Dr. Cid' yesterday at lunch, and why he hadn't come back until early this morning.

And the need to tell him, the need to let it all out before he lost him couldn't be quenched by the duty he felt towards those war-orphans, and really, with those eyes staring at him so fiercely, he wasn't afraid to admit that he was afraid of his one-time lover. So he did what he had to do.

He ran.

Even though he was a boy born from the desert, and Balthier a natural city-dweller, there was no out-running those impeccably long legs. Baltheir grabbed him and Vaan turned back to give himself better ability to yank away from him. But they both miscalculated, and Vaan fell back, landing with a hard thud on the sand, and Baltheir fell just as swiftly on-top of him.

With a noticeable wince, he tried to push the other off, but found both his hands caught in one, and the end point of Sirius, the gun he'd gotten Balthier as a gift, pointed under his chin. He thought his heart was going to stop when the safety catch went off, and his eyes, amazingly calm through-out the entire ordeal, met his lovers.

And when Balthier demanded from him again to answer, or get shot instead, Vaan was thinking about what he had given to this man, and what he had given to numerous other men, yet both for different reasons. And the look in Balthier's eyes as he made the demand for a third and final time told him that if he didn't say something, he'd send him over the edge.

So he told him. He told him about the orphans, he told him about the title, he told him about the Imperials and the ones who weren't really Imperials, he told him about what happened yesterday, and the night that came after it. He told him everything.

And Balthier was speechless. He was wide-eyed, staring at him as if he'd just spoken complete and total gibberish. But then he did something, something Vaan hadn't been expecting.

Balthier… Was crying.

And then it was Vaan's turn to be awe-struck, his own eyes wide as two drops fell almost simultaneously on his cheeks, his lovers lips coming down to meet his in the most apologetic kiss he'd ever received (even though he could count the number of them on one hand).

When it was over (don't let it end yet, let me get lost for just a little bit longer…), Balthier stood, bring Vaan up with him, and he kissed him again. This time when he pulled away, Balthiers eyes where fierce with something else, something that shone brighter that shoved a string of hope into Vaan's heart that wasn't supposed to be there.

He promised he'd save him. He'd take him from it, he'd take him from it all. Forget the Princess, forget the Dawn Shard, forget the Sword of Kings, forget it all. They merely had to get Fran and they'd be gone, as if they'd never been there in the first place.

And Vaan only gave him that same mysterious, sad smile. And he told him again of the threat to the orphans. He told him again how he was the only defense they had. And Balthier took him in his arms and held him, and Vaan clung to him like a life-line. All he could think to do was apologize, apologize for everything, for nothing, for Dr. Cid…

And then Balthier asked him something. He asked him to do whatever he could, do whatever it took, to not sleep with him. And in case Balthier was still listening despite his mutterings, Vaan told him he'd try. At the very least, he could do that.

And Balthier, knowing what he knew, couldn't ask anymore.

(-)(-)(-)

They where unaware of the Imperial who wasn't supposed to be an Imperial (the second one, Vrahm) watching them, and they remained unaware as he took off to tell Dr. Cid that he'd found the Desert Flower with his missing son. And he knew the good doctor wasn't going to be happy.

(-)(-)(-)

Vaan wasn't thinking about what he would have to do over the next few days as he walked towards the airship containing the higher-ranking Imperial then his high-ranking Imperial. And he wasn't thinking about what he would be doing when Dr. Cid stepped out and met him at the door, even held it open for him.

He wasn't thinking that night, as the higher-ranking Imperial moved in him, and he wasn't thinking as he heard muttered words, but he began panicking when he could no longer see, could barely understand, couldn't do anything at all. And he wasn't able to think of what he was doing as Dr. Cid took his hand and made him write words that he would never see. And he wasn't able to think when Dr. Cid put him to sleep.

And the next morning, he wasn't able to think about anything but the note that was lying beside his new bed.

If you try to escape, all your companions will die. And when it's Balthier's turn, I'll let you be the one to pull the trigger.

And so he remained unthinking as he fly in the air on an airship besides the Strahl, and he couldn't hear the crazed scream of his one-time lover as he read his own note, saying that Vaan would never be coming back, with Dr. Cid's neat signature inches below.

Sequel? Tell me if you want one. Definite possibility with this.