I'm A Fruit, Not A Vegetable

A cute little drabble about Duo and the other G-boys, written based off a comment from my fiance's oldest son after school yesterday.

Humor... slight reference to 03x04 blink and you'll miss it; so slight it's not even really there. And pretty heavy on the OOCness.

Oh, yeah... I don't own them... like you really thought I did?

And dedicated to Foxy, 'cause she offered to draw a picture of Kaori from How To Save A Life for me and has agreed to beta it for me, even though she's working on her own story, Daffodils, a collab with cltcmistress. And I apologize to her and everyone else for the absurdity of this fic. But hey, it's Duo, just for you, Foxy. You're the best!

~rooftops

"Duo," Wufei said, breaking the silence, "Why are you just laying there?" It was unlike their little braided ball of energy to just lay there.

"Because I want to," was the retort. "Got nothing better to do."

It was true. Duo was laying peacefully across the couch, his braid hanging off one end, and his feet off the other.

"There's always something to do," Quatre pointed out, walking into the room. Heero barely glanced up from his laptop... it seemed to always be glued to him, or vice versa.

"Not today... not for me. Today... I'm just gonna lay hear and be lazy."

Wufei rolled his eyes.

Heero said something under his breath. To Wufei, it sounded a little like 'anatawa baka' or something to that effect. Wufei had to grin. If he'd heard correctly... that was his sentiments exactly.

"You just lay there all day," Quatre pointed out, "You're going to become a vegetable."

Duo opened one violet eye and stared at the blond Arab.

"I"m not a vegatable," he replied. Surprisingly, Wufei thought, he wasn't insulted or anything. He was simply calm... quite unlike their normal smiling Duo.

Then Duo smirked a little and added,

"I'm a fruit."

"Pardon?" Wufei asked. What in Nataku's name did that mean?

"I said.... I'm a fruit, not a vegetable," Duo said, sounding a little annoyed at having to repeat himself.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Quatre inquired... more intrigued, Wufei thought, than anything.

"Means just that. I am a fruit... I am not a vegetable. I can never become a vegetable because I am a fruit."

Heero raised his eyebrow. "Is the baka talking about tomatoes?" He asked Quatre

"Nooooo," Duo dragged out. "No tomatoes involved right now, Yuy."

"I think he's talking about himself," Wufei said.

"Way to grasp the obvious, Wuffers," Duo applauded... not moving a muscle except for the one eye, which he closed again... ignoring Wufei's rising redness.

Trowa came in. Seeing Wufei's flush, Quatre's confused look, Duo's laziness, and Hero's usual 'ignoring everyone' trance... he sat down on a chair.

"Did I miss something?"

"Something about tomatoes, I think," Heero commented, his eyes not leaving the lap-top screen.

Trowa raised an eyebrow... the one that everyone could see.

"Tomatoes?"

Duo sighed, sat up. "I am not talking about tomatoes!" he screeched. Trowa merely looked on, Quatre winced, and Wufei tried not to loose his cool.

"I am a fruit.... not a vegetable," Duo pouted.

"Okay, okay..." Trowa said with an utterly straight face. "You're a little fruity... we already knew that."

Duo blushed crimson. "I am not fruity.... I am a fruit!"

"Is this a not-so-subtle way of telling us you're gay?" Trowa asked..." Because if it is...."

"I AM NOT GAY! I AM A FRUIT!" Duo stood up, marched out of the door, pushing aside a very bewildered Quatre.

Quatre looked after Duo, then went to sit on the arm of Trowa's chair.

"What was that about?" Wufei asked, clearly lost and clearly livid.

Quatre shrugged. "I have no clue. I don't understand. What did you do to make him so mad, Trowa?"

Trowa shrugged, not really caring one way or the other. "I have no earthly idea... but I did get him up off the couch... now didn't I?"

Quatre smiled. "Yes you did. And you got him away from Wufei." Said person was still just standing there. "I guess he's not going to turn into a vegetable after all."

Heero took that moment to look up at them, a very confused and childish look on his face.

"You mean he wasn't talking about tomatoes?"