Saying goodbye is hard for me.
It never feels like enough.
I always feel like I could have said more.
I always feel like I could have said it better.
No matter how many times you say "I'll see you soon!" it never gets any less sad.
Before you know it, you're on the train and it's all you can think about.
It's not like saying it will make it happen sooner.
Wondering when I'll get to see my mom again.
Every couple of hours, the train slows to a stop. Large groups of people passing me on my left in waves, going back and forth.
Haven't been gone a day, and I already feel homesick.
Drop my bag into the seat next to me. The contents shuffling around and clinking.
Nobody is going to sit next to me, anyway.
Head rests against the window.
The thick material of my cap separating my flesh from the cold glass.
We leave another station that looks just like all the others, and the crowded public areas are soon replaced with trees and power lines.
Close my eyes.
Another few hours before my stop.
I'm so tired...
What is it you most desire?
What is it I most desire...?
Yes. What is it you want the most out of the world?
I... haven't really thought about it.
Take all the time you need.
I guess I-
Yess?
No, it's stupid.
It isn't? What do you want?
I want to be the best.
The best....?
The best.
The best what?
I want to the best Pokèmon trainer. Ever.
That's it?
What do you mean?
I mean, that's easy, kid.
Easy?!
Relax, kid. You have me on your side. You'll be fine.
"Please state your name. Last name first, first name last."
"Ketchum, Ash."
"Catchem?" she asks dumbly.
"Ketchum."
"How's that spelled?"
Sigh.
"K-E-T-C-H-U-M"
She scribbles it down on a notepad and looks up at me again. Her glasses magnifying her eyes. Her hair eccentrically styled and colored pink. She looks at me again with her blue eyes and asks me;
"Ash?"
"Yes ma'am," I respond.
"And how old are you?" she asks, her words partially obstructed by the eraser tip lodged in the corner of her mouth. She nibbles on it, awaiting an answer.
"Ten," I say, yawning into my fist.
She yawns, too.
Every time I yawn, I look around to see if other people are yawning.
Chances are that somebody is.
Try it, sometime.
"Are you a veteran?"
"A veteran?"
She means to ask if you've entered this contest before.
"No."
"Oh," she states, pausing. "Of course you aren't."
The eraser tapping against her lip. She scribbles something down and stuffs the pencil in her hair. It disappears behind the mess sitting on her head that she calls hair.
"You're only allowed six Pokèmon. Whatever items you can carry, but you aren't allowed to change once the competition has begun, so choose wisely."
"I only have one Pokèmon," I tell her, pointing to the little yellow creature in my lap.
She looks at me, dumbfounded.
"Are you joking?"
"No."
She sighs and stares at me.
Shoving the glasses up the bridge of her nose, her eyes bounce back and forth as if she were reading a book. Her mouth moving along with the words in her head.
This is how stupid people think.
"Stop," I say, chastising him.
"Excuse me?"
"Oh, sorry. I was talking to Pikachu."
"Uhh... right."
Her face scrunches up.
She squints to look over at me.
"And why isn't that thing in its ball?"
"It doesn't like the ball," I tell her.
"Of course it doesn't like the ball," she says, grunting. "What kind of trainer are you, anyway?"
"Uh-"
Try to speak, but she cuts me off.
This lady is rude. I don't really like her.
"Do you even have the eight badges?" she says impatiently.
Clipboard resting in her hand, at her hip.
"Eight badges?" I ask.
"Are you kidding me?! Get out of here, kid! Quit wasting my time."
She points to the exit, and I don't know how to react.
"Now," she says. "Next!"
And with that, I stand up and march out.
Come on, kid. Cheer up.
How can you even say that?! How could I possibly cheer up! I'm so stupid.
You don't have to cry, Ash.
I'm not crying!
The back of my gloves dampen as I wipe my face with the back of my hands.
It's not so bad, kid.
Not so bad? Not so bad?!
Yeah. I mean, it could always be worse.
Worse? I've traveled all this way, all the way from Pallet Town, only to be shot down! I wasted all the money I had to get here! Nobody said anything about any BADGES! I spent all the money I had on the trip down here! How in the world am I supposed to get back?!
I don't-
"How could this possibly be any WORSE?!"
"Prepare for trouble!"
"Make it double!"
My attention is turned to see two people at the end of the alley in strange costumes with a Meowth. They do some strange interpretive dance as they speak.
It's a bit hard to follow.
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all people within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket; blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now, or prepare to fight."
They take up this strange formation, standing next to one another, mirroring each other.
The Meowth just stands in the middle.
"Meowth!" the barely noticeable Pokèmon in the center says. "That's right!"
Gasp!
"Your Meowth! It talked!" I stammer.
"Yeah, he does that," male says, moving from his strange stance, and crossing his arms tightly around his chest.
"Other than that, the thing is completely useless," notes female, following suit.
"Thaaat's right!" Meowth says, not listening to what's being said.
"Well, that was a neat little show," I say, scooping up my Pikachu in my arms and turning to leave. "But I have to go now. I don't have any money to give, sorry."
"Why don't we just take it, then?" male suggests.
"Excuse me, sir?" I ask, scratching my head.
"James. My name is James. Did you pay no attention to our introduction?"
He speaks through clenched teeth.
If I were to guess, I'd say they have issues with their names being remembered.
"What are you guys? Some sort of theatre troupe?"
"Theatre troupe! Did you hear that, Jesse?" James says, his whining reminiscent of another big baby I've grown accustomed to ignoring.
"Pika?" Pikachu asks.
"I don't know," I tell him.
"Are you talking to that Pikachu?!" the woman asks, surprised. Which is strange, because they're traveling around with a talking Meowth.
"Uh. Yeah."
"Why?"
She stares at me, face tightly scrunched up. Angrily awaiting an answer.
How am I supposed to answer a question like that?
"Because.... we understand each other?" I ask, unsure.
They exchange glances and begin to approach.
Something isn't right here.
My gut instinct tells me to leave.
I pick up my pack and turn to go.
"Wait!" she says.
"Where are you going?" he asks.
"I have to go," I say, scratching my head. "I have to get home."
Start slowly stepping away.
"Sounds like he's lying," says female from behind me.
"Yeah," male adds, "you're a bad liar, kid."
Stop dead in my tracks.
Turn around to face them.
They've been closing in on me.
Mere feet away, they stop when they see my eyes.
"I w-wouldn't lie to you."
Words shaky.
Nervous.
They just stare.
Smiling.
Smirking.
Grinning that makes me uncomfortable.
"What would make you think I was lying?"
"You aren't going anywhere, kid."
"What do you mean?"
Male cuts me off by grabbing me by the collar of my shirt and pushing me back into the wall behind me.
Before I can say anything, female's fist is buried in my gut.
All of the air evacuates my lungs, and refuses to return.
Try to say something.
Try to do something.
Try to get away.
Flee. Escape.
Failure.
Male hits me in the face, cracking my nose and sending me down to the cold, hard pavement. A trail of blood fallows me. Still can't breathe. Struggling to suck air into my lungs, but only manage choking noises. Arms tightly wrapped around Pikachu, holding him to my chest.
Kicked to my side and the pack is ripped off my arm, the strap ripping and coming back to slap me in the face on its way around my arm.
Suddenly all my hair begins to stand on end.
Hat is removed.
"N...ooo"
Hands wrap around the fidgeting ball of fur in my arms.
It growls and begins to scratch.
Hard impact to my kidney on the left side, then another to my head. Pikachu screams and as he's pulled from my grasp. Shockwaves sent through the air in all directions and my bodily functions are no longer under control. Immense pain and then-