Chapter 50

Shadows of the past

"Azula!" Ty Lee yelled over the sound of the hairbrush bouncing off the steel deck of the infirmary.

"Wh-where am I, what-" Azula moaned. She attempted to sit up and then screamed in pain as she tried putting weight on the same shoulder where she'd been struck by lightning. She fell back into the bed. Breathing heavy and covered in sweat, she draped her arm across her eyes to block out the stinging light. Slowly, she started to recollect a few things.

"How am I still alive?" she asked Ty Lee once the reason for the searing pain on the back of her shoulder came floating back to the surface: Crescent Island - Yu - a bolt of lightning. Her head was swimming as she tried to put it all back together.

Ty Lee, who had pulled back a little at Azula's scream (her fear of Azula may have been diminished, but it was in no way gone,) took a few tentative steps toward her old friend. There was something different about Azula. Ty Lee couldn't say what it was, but she could sense it… something about her aura.

"Katara - you know that watertribe girl we'd fought a few times?" Oh yes, Azula knew who that was and flinched at hearing the name. Ty Lee continued, "Well she had this special kind of water. She was going to use in on Nagohda, but he made her save you with it instead. It was really-"

"Who?" Azula asked, rubbing her stinging eyes as she sat up, this time rolling to the other shoulder and finding it far more capable of taking her weight.

"You know. That guy you were with," Ty Lee said.

Yu? Azula thought then looked around the room. A strange feeling twisted in her gut. "And what happened to him?" she asked in a way she hoped sounded offhanded.

"Uh- actually, he's getting on a boat now. I think-"

Something inside her just snapped, and without thinking about it, Azula threw herself out of bed. A second later, the room spun and she fell to the floor. Another spike of pain shot through her lightning-burned shoulder as she collapsed in a heap.

"Don't just stand there gawking! Get over here and-" Azula started to yell at Ty Lee without thinking, but stopped herself when she saw Ty Lee recoiling in fear. Azula was struck dumb for a moment by the odd pang in her gut, then, trying hard as she could to ignore what she felt started again.

"I'm- can you please help me up?" Azula said, more softly this time, though not in the sickly sweet voice she used when faking politeness. Ty Lee had heard that enough to recognize it when she heard it, so while it still felt a bit forced, Azula's request had the odd ring of sincerity. Ty Lee wasn't sure what scared her more. Acting with equal measures of relief and bewilderment, Ty Lee leaned down and helped Azula to her feet and, once she was up, Azula wasted no time.

"Wait!" Ty Lee yelled after Azula. "I'm not supposed to let you-" but it was futile. Azula was already out of earshot. Ty Lee shrugged. Oh well, she smiled to herself. Guess I better go find Zuko and tell him about this.

The sun had long since set when Azula came storming out on deck, though, to her, it seemed like twilight. What she couldn't know was what she thought to be the setting sun out of the corner of her eye was actually Crescent Island set ablaze in a glorious and fearsome sphere of flames sitting on the horizon. But it wasn't the sunset, imitation or otherwise, that she'd been in such a hurry to capture, and as such her attention was fully focused in the other direction.

Toward the front of the ship, walking away from her, were two fully armored Fire Nation soldiers, and one of them looked to be pushing someone in a wheelchair. Her eyes narrowed as she locked onto her prey. Stepping so lightly that they never even heard her approach, she swept up behind them, and in an icy tone said.

"So! You were going to leave just like that, were you?!"

If it had been the sound of a ferocious growling beast at their necks, Nagohda thought that the reaction of the two soldiers wouldn't have been any different. They froze as beads of sweat spotted their faces in an instant, their wide eyes betraying a mixture of sheer terror and utter confusion. Nagohda's reaction couldn't have been anymore the opposite, and he was even having a hard time figuring out what was making him smile more. The effect she had on the soldiers, or simply the sound of her voice. Of course, only minutes ago he'd been afraid that he'd never get to talk to or see her ever again. And now, even if it was the last time, he'd been given back that opportunity!

Though, to Nagohda's supreme annoyance, when the soldiers spun to face Azula, they left him sitting unattended and still facing away from her. As the two soldiers stammered out clumsy acknowledgments, he attempted to spin the wheelchair with one working arm.

"P-princess. When did, I mean, we didn't know you..."

As the two soldiers spoke, Azula looked from Nagohda and fixed both of them with a piercing stare. And, as though only now noticing them, much in the same way one only pays attention to a fly after it's become bothersome, she demanded to know, "Why are you still here?"

There were a few seconds where both men gaped like beached fish sucking at the air, trying to think of something to say, but no words resulted from the effort. Behind them, Nagohda gave up on trying to spin himself around under his own power and started waving his hand toward the side of the ship and drawing water up from the ocean below.

"Princess," one of them finally managed, "It's- it's just that, well, Fire Lord Zuko gave us specific orders to, uh..."

"Let me guess," Azula interrupted. "My dear brother gave orders that, in the event I wake up, I am to be kept detained, watched over, and under no circumstances should I be left to wander about on my own. Something like that?"

He swallowed hard, and then nodded. "Y- yes princess."

Azula looked up and down the deck, then leaned in threateningly close and said in a low his, "Funny, my brother doesn't seem to be around, does he? In which case, you should be less concerned with what my brother might do, and far more concerned with what I absolutely will do if forced to continue this tedious exchange."

She straightened up, crossed her arms, and in a far more causal tone, added, "But by all means, the decision is entirely yours."

The two soldiers exchanged a glance, each hoping that perhaps the other might stand up to the princess, but when it became obvious that neither was willing to take the risk, they both bowed silently and hurried off.

Azula, arms still crossed, turned to watch them run past her, her steely glare seemingly pushing them along. Once they ducked into a doorway and out of sight, she heard a voice from behind say.

"You really enjoy doing that, don't you?"

"Not as much as I used to," she replied, realizing as she said it that she was being completely honest and that the words had simply fallen from her lips as though of their own accord. Shaking her head as though snapping herself out of a daydream, Azula rounded on Nagohda, preparing a quip or insult to cover for the slip when she was stopped cold mid-word.

He was up and out of the wheelchair. A floating sliver of water was streaming from the ocean below and wrapping itself around his waist and lower body. A cast on his left leg was covered entirely in a thick sheet of ice so that it could support his weight around the leg. She looked at it, then up at him, than back to it.

"You're a waterbender?" she spit the words as though they left a bad taste in her mouth. It didn't go unnoticed.

Nagohda looked down at the water swirling around his hip and cast covered leg. Then, a bit worriedly, asked, "Is that a problem? 'Cause I'm not very good, if that helps."

Azula stared at him, her eyes locked on that tendril of water he was using to hold himself up. The last encounter she'd had with a waterbender, and especially how it had ended, played through her head. A cold, constrictive feeling gripped her chest; she could feel the breath being stolen from her lungs. Her eyes narrowed in disgust as she brought them to meet his. She then burst into a fit laughter.

"Of course- of course you're a waterbender," she said between breaths, leaving Nagohda completely perplexed. She continued to laugh uncontrollably all the while Nagohda stood there, staring at her, utterly bewildered. However that didn't keep a smile from slowly appearing on his face.

"You've found every other conceivable way to get under my skin, so why wouldn't you be waterbender." Azula pulled herself back to her full height as her laughing fit subsided and it then occurred to her that if Yu remembered he could waterbend… "Does this mean your memories..."

"Yep, all back. Seems that thing was blocking 'em somehow," he said, nodding his head toward the sunset. Only now, when Azula followed the lead, did she realize that what she'd thought was the sunset was anything but. In fact, it was so obviously not the setting sun that she couldn't believe she hadn't noticed it until now. She must have been staring at it for longer than she thought, because Yu had had enough time to move up next to her, something that even with the help of his waterbending, should have taken some effort with his injuries. She felt his good arm wrap around her shoulder. Her whole body tensed, and for half a second she couldn't even breathe. Under normal circumstances, she'd have him on the ground and screaming in pain in that half second, his arm twisted and broken, making a fine match to the rest of his body... But it was the absolute lack of that impulse, more than his touch, which was the cause of her confusion.

If she was being completely honest, which was something that had happened accidentally already, she had to admit that this felt... kind of nice.

"Got time for kind of a long story?" Yu asked, watching her looking at Crescent Island. Azula didn't think she did. Those guards would have gone straight to Zuko, and it was only a matter of moments before they were surrounded by soldiers. Her curiosity, and the desire to stay like this just a little longer, made the decision for her. And so Nagohda went on to fill her in on everything they'd been able to piece together about the Kaji, including just how he'd come into contact with it. He noticed, as he covered those last details about what had happened to him in Woolong forest, Azula avoided looking at him and even pulled away a bit. When he finished, she slipped out from under his arm. She gripped the railing, took a deep breath and turned back toward him.

"Yu..." She started.

"Nagohda," he tried to correct her, but Azula continued almost without notice as though even pausing for a moment to acknowledge it would be enough to stop her from saying what she had to say.

"There's something I need to tell you..." She looked up into his face, only inches away from her own, and their eyes met. And in the next, Nagohda's lips were pressed against hers. Whatever it was she'd been about to say was lost, because right now nothing else really seemed to matter. Just like when he'd put his arm around her, a tiny little war was being waged across the darker corners of her mind. She shouldn't like this; she shouldn't allow this! How could she feel this comfortable about being this comfortable? Not that this was the first time she'd kissed someone. There was that one time on Ember Island... but that had been an objective, cold and tactical, a problem to solve, a battle to win. Her emotions had, other than perhaps jealousy, played very little part in it. This, on the other hand, was an entirely different experience: more passionate, more frightening, more intimate, and entirely more intense. She forced herself to ignore the fear, to ignore the warnings (ignore the pain, her shoulder was on fire) and, if only for a moment, allowed herself to be completely lost in that moment.

Greedily, she pulled him closer, pressing herself against him and squeezing him tight. Nagohda let out a yelp of pain. She'd forgotten about his injuries. She quickly let him go, but before she could apologize (which, to her own surprise, she was actually about to do,) Nagohda put his arm around her and hugged her to him, though now a bit lighter than he had been previously. Nagohda leaned his lips close to her ear.

"I love you," he whispered.

Under his arms, Nagohda felt Azula's entire body go rigid. All the warnings and fears that had wafted away from Azula's mind came screaming back with a vengeance. She shoved him away and had it not been for the availability of water frozen around his broken leg that he used to catch himself with, he would have gone tumbling to the floor. A mask of fury replaced any hints of tenderness on Azula's face.

"What... How could... Why would you say that!?" she spluttered angrily.

Completely clueless to what he'd done wrong, Nagohda was speechless, which only made Azula more furious. For a moment, he thought she was going to attack him, but instead she turned and slammed her fists against the rails. Blue flames puffed out around her clenched fists on impact. A resounding bong reverberated up and down the deck, and for a few seconds its echo was the only sound on the air.

"Get out of here," she said without looking at him. "I'm not some foolish little- I don't know what kind game you're playing, but I want nothing- Whatever idiotic- that head of yours- you have the completely wrong idea about us." She was so angry, she couldn't even finish a thought, and as her furious rambling continued, she seemed to be talking more to herself than Nagohda. She turned, and with one last furious look, screamed.

"Leave!"

She turned back to the ocean and scrunched her eyes closed tight to hold back the tears. She felt betrayed, lied to, confused and utterly alone once again. It was almost a full minute that stood like that, eyes scrunched tight, doing everything she could to hold back the tidal wave of emotion that threatened to wash her legs out from under her, pull her down deep and drown her in their depths. Then it hit her that she might be making a terrible mistake. She couldn't leave it like this, not like this.

"Wait!" She turned and screamed after Nagohda. She need not have bothered. He hadn't moved an inch. Nagohda was standing in the same exact spot, leaning against the rail in an obviously uncomfortable bit of pain, but otherwise simply waiting her out.

"Done?" He asked calmly.

Azula, still a ball of confliction, straightened up and cast him a haughty glance before turning back to the ocean and saying nothing. Nagohda suspected she'd exposed a little more of herself than she'd intended by calling after him, made worse upon realizing she hadn't needed to.

There was a long and very uncomfortable pause as neither of them really knew where to go from here. Then Nagohda finally said, "Sorry, I wasn't trying to scare you."

"I'm not scared," she spat back.

"Right. Is 'terrified' a better word for it then? Whoa whoa whoa! Not fireproof anymore, remember!?" he exclaimed, waving his arm in front of him as little puffs of blue flame burst to life in Azula's hands. She gritted her teeth, and for a moment Nagohda wasn't sure if he was going to get attacked or not, but he stood his ground. Azula squeezed her fists shut, extinguishing the flames, then turned back to the rail.

"You're infuriating, you know that," she said.

"You're not exactly a barrel of hog-monkeys yourself."

She gave him a long hard look, under which he didn't waver even slightly. Nagohda kept smiling and eventually Azula said. "You should know that there are very few people in this world who I would allow to get away with comparing me to a hog-monkey."

"So you do like me then?"

Stuck somewhere around the general vicinity of immense frustration, utter confusion, not a small amount of anger, and a hint of possible amusement, Azula shook her head and looked back out over the ocean. She took a deep breath, and with a look that hold new resolve, finally said.

"Fine. Yes. You win. It seems that despite my best efforts to the contrary, I've somehow grown rather fond of you."

"Fond? Wow. Let's not get carried or anything."

"Well what do you want from me then!" She spat. Anger again taking the forefront.

Nagohda apologized, realizing that right now was perhaps not the nest time to make jokes as Azula seemed genuinely distressed by the conversation. Far more than she should be he thought.

"I just..." He paused then laughed. This time at himself. "This really isn't going how I hoped it would."

"And what were you hoping for!" Azula snapped. Still angry.

"A lot more of that first thing we were doing, and much less of this." He said, waggling a finger back and forth between them.

"Well, that was a bit optimistic given our history don't you think?" Azula said, and there was, for the first time, a slight playfullness to her voice.

"You know." Nagohda said. "This doesn't have to be nearly as complicated as you seem to want to make it."

"If you wanted simple, you're chose the wrong girl," she said, uncrossing her arms and allowing herself a smile. The tension between them started to melt away as Azula finally allowed herself relax. If even just slightly, and it was in that moment that she finally realized just why he meant so much to her, and it was just that. She was able to relax around him. He'd seen her at her worst, beyond her worst... and he was still here. Still willing to be with her.

Her. The girl who had...

"I'm not trying..." Nagohda started before choking up a bit then continuing. "If you don't..."

"It's not that." Azula cut him off before he could continue. Perhaps a little too quickly she thought. Giving away a little too much of her own feelings... then she realized just how much she was trying to calculate her response. Old habits died hard it seemed. No. If there was anyone in the world she wanted to be honest with, or at least give it her best attempt. It was him.

"The truth is, I have no idea what I'm supposed to feel," she said, now looking him right in the eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, my life hasn't exactly been all sunshine and flowers since we met. I've been through a lot, and right now, I can't even... I just..."

Frustrated, Azula let out a huff. Like a moose-lion about to charge. "I'm angry, and confused, and you, and all this... My life used to make sense, but it's like everything I knew was just a big joke and whole worlds laughing at me for falling for it. Precious little Azula, so smart she couldn't even see what a fool she was!"

And she turned on him, angry. Though this time directed at herself instead of him.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up and realize that everything you thought you were... is just gone?"

"Uh, yeah. I think I might have a slight notion of what that feels like."

There was a half a second pause before it clicked.

"Oh right. Yes" she said, feeling a bit foolish. He was probably the one person in the entire world that might have a better idea than her of what that felt like. Which now brought her thoughts full circle. Back to the very reason he'd lost his memory in the first place.

"Yu..." Azula started, only to have him correct her. "Sorry. Nagohda."

She took a moment. She couldn't look at him while she said it. She was afraid of what she might see on his face. "There's something you need to know. It's- it's about what happened to you in that forest." She swallowed nervously.

"You mean the Fire Nation attack you planned on the Earth Kingdom?"

For a moment, she was completely dumbfounded. Her jaw was on the floor, and for a few seconds she looked like a fish out of water, her mouth opening and closing but no words coming out.

"You... you knew," Azula said in complete exasperation, once her ability to speak returned. "You knew and you... But how, when, why did you-" she spluttered.

"How do you think I found out all that other stuff I told you? I've been awake for a couple days now, and with everything that going on, your brother the Avatar and me, we;ve been comparing notes, trying to figure this whole thing out. So yeah, that sorta came up."

"And you... even after finding that out?" Azula asked quietly. It was almost incomprehensible to her. He was either the single most foolish person she'd ever met, or...

"Well, I wasn't all that happy at first, but once I had some time to think about it." He shrugged. Really, if all that hadn't happened, I would have never met you. But really, if you were that desperate to get me alone..."

But Nagohda's attempt at humor was cut short as this time it was Azula who kissed him. When they broke apart, Azula, whose eyes were noticeably wetter, wrapped her arms gently around his neck and whispered in his ear, "You really are the biggest idiot I've ever met."

Then a blaring steam whistle shattered the stillness of the night, making both of them jump. Nagohda again winced in pain.

"I think my ships getting a little impatient," Nagohda said, holding his arm across his now aching ribs. The block of ice holding his leg was also mostly melted, making it difficult to stand. Nagohda went to summon more water, but instead Azula insisted on helping him back to the wheelchair. As she did, she noticed his ragged, tattered backpack lying on the deck a few feet away and was struck with a sudden pang.

"Do you still have that hair pin you made?" She asked him.

"You mean the one you threw in the fire?" Nagohda tossed her a sly look.

Azula answered with only a raised eyebrow and look of impatience. It made Nagohda laugh, which also made him wince. "Top left side pocket."

She fished it out, turned it over in her fingers a few times, not unlike the first time she examined it. However, this time she didn't toss it aside.

"May I have it?" she asked.

"Well yeah, that's sort of why I made it. But..." he added, meeting her eyes when she looked up, "It comes with a condition."

This seemed to amuse Azula, who smiled and asked, "Yes?"

Nagohda motioned her forward with a finger, and she leaned in.

"Don't get yourself killed," Nagohda said, now in a very serious tone.

Azula looked at him, confused.

"You're gonna go after that fire spirit, right? I know it. I just know it. I also know nothing I say will stop you, but-" he paused and searched for what to say next. "Just promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"I won't have you with me. So avoiding stupidity should be relatively easy." She said with a smile, and they couldn't help but laugh. Then after a long silence that neither of them seemed to know how to fill, they finally said their goodbyes.

Minutes later, Azula stood alone on the deck of the ship as she watched the boat carrying Nagohda slip off toward the northern horizon. As it faded in the distance, she turned the half scorched hair clip over and over in her hands, rethinking and reanalyzing everything that had just happened, everything they'd said, especially those three words she just couldn't shake.

"Lurking around corners is hardly befitting a proper Fire Lord, wouldn't you say?" She asked warily. When Zuko came walking out on deck, Azula crossed her arms and finished with a smile, "Although, given that we don't have a proper Fire Lord... So, how long were you spying on me."

"Long enough to be satisfied that you weren't trying to kill anyone, as my soldiers claimed. I gave you as much privacy as I was comfortable with. But now that your friend's gone, I can't just let you wander around free. You understand."

"Why? Just because I've tried to kill you, what three times now? Four?" she counted on her fingers. "Is that really any reason not to trust me?"

Zuko frowned at her, but didn't answer.

"Oh Zuko, you never did have much of a sense of humor." She turned away from him and leaned on the railing. Looking out over the ocean, watching the small dot of a ship that carried Nagohda over the horizon, she remained unmoving.

"Oh, alright!" Azula said, feeling Zuko's anger and impatience close in around her as though it was a physical thing. "Just do me a favor, answer one little question, and I'll, what's the phrase? Go quietly."

"What?" Zuko asked reluctantly.

Azula hesitated slightly. Then, with a bit of reluctance on her own, finally said, "You have much more experience than I do with this sort of thing, so..." she left off before continuing. Zuko was about to ask what 'sort of thing' she was talking about, but decided not to as his sister seemed to be having enough trouble getting the words out as it was.

Choking down a lump of pride, Azula forced herself to finish. "How long does it take for the doubt to go away?"

"What?" Zuko asked, bewildered. He felt as though he'd been deflated. Whatever it was he thought she was going to ask, this certainly wasn't it.

"You heard me!" Azula spun around, her temper flaring. "I've always been absolutely sure of myself. I didn't worry about my choices, my decisions came easy and I never once worried about the consequences. But ever since... recent events!"

She clenched her fists and gritted her teeth. "Nothing feels right. It's like my guts are all twisted up, I'm second guessing everything I do or say, nothing comes easy. Not like it did, and I don't like it. So when does it stop? All this constant doubt. When do I get to be normal again!?"

"If you're lucky. Never," Zuko said plainly.

Rage flashed across Azula's face. "If you're not going to give me a serious answer, then-"

"I am serious," Zuko said sternly. "What you consider 'normal' is anything but. Those doubts you so desperately want to go away. That little voice in your head telling you that you might be doing something wrong-"

"I've had enough of little voices in my head!" Azula whispered under her breath.

"-that constant worry that you might be doing the wrong thing is called 'having a conscience,' Azula, and it's not something you should be so desperate to get rid of."

"I should have known your advice would be useless. Well thanks for nothing, Z..."

But at that moment, after having her entire body tensed in fury, the fading adrenaline rush made her sway, stumble, and collapse on the deck.

. . . . . . . . . . .

The cold steel of the deck was gone. She was on something soft and warm. Azula's blurry eyes blinked groggily, but nothing came into focus. Something warm and wet slid and slipped around her head.

Water... around her head.

Azula's eyes shot open as the claustrophobic feeling of being completely encased in water sent her into a panic. She kicked and struggled, getting herself tangled in the bedding and sheets before realizing she was back in the infirmary. And she wasn't alone.

"What are you doing here!? What are you doing to me!?" Azula demanded, her fists clenching, as she looked daggers at the watertribe peasant.

Katara was already on her feet and in a fighting stance. Water was swirling from her waterskin and surrounding both hands, as well as water from every other source in the infirmary slowly floating through the air and making its way to her. If Azula wanted a fight, Katara already had the advantage.

"Your brother, the Fire Lord," Katara spat, adding the title for spiteful effect, "asked me to check on you. I'm not here because I want to be."

Azula, seeing that she was already out maneuvered, did what she could to calm herself and sat back down on the bed. "Well that's good, because you're not wanted here anyway. You can leave now!"

"Gladly," Katara said matching, the deadliness of Azula's glare. The air between them crackled with mutual dislike as Katara moved herself around the bed, not lowering her weapons until she was close to the door. Water swirled back into pots, pans, sinks and glasses. She finished by cautiously (never taking her eyes off Azula and vice versa) slipping the water back into her waterskins, then turning to leave.

Though, Azula wasn't done yet. With everything that happened between her and Nagohda still clouding her mind in confusing ways, she was thirsty for a slightly more satisfying confrontation.

"So, I understand that you're the one who saved me," Azula said to the ceiling as she lay back down. Katara paused halfway out the door, and, under the false impression that Azula might actually be attempting to thank her, turned around to look at her.

Azula smiled. Bait taken.

"Hmm, I suppose that makes us even then, doesn't it." She turned her sickly sweet smile at Katara.

"Even!?" Katara said, incredulous, a rage clearly building behind her eyes. "How can you possibly say... After what you've..."

Azula poked harder. After all, what could Zuko possibly say if this violent peasant threw out the first attack? Azula would have no choice but to defend her poor, weakened, bed-ridden self.

"Well it was you who interfered in my Agni Kai with my brother. A royal matter, no room for peasants." Then, allowing a bit more venom to seep in, Azula continued. "And if it wasn't for you, I probably wouldn't have been sent away to that horrible little hospital. But I guess I can see fit to forgive you since..."

Whether her own body was still that worn out, or she'd severely underestimated Katara's speed, Azula found Katara merely inches away before she had time to react.

Azula was halfway off the bed when Katara, waterbending forgotten, jabbed a single finger hard into Azula chest.

"You. Killed. Aang," Katara deliberately hissed every word like a particularly deadly serpent. Whatever Azula was about to say had been dashed from her lips as a sharp pain, which had nothing to do with Katara finger, twisted deep and raw inside her chest. She was suddenly without words.

"If I hadn't had the spirit water with me, the same thing I used to save you, he'd be dead right now. I would have lost him because of you! So don't you dare sit there and tell me that we're even. You and I aren't even. Not by a long shot, got it!?" Every word trembled through barely clenched teeth. Azula swallowed, her guts still twisting with that odd unfamiliar pain that robbed the words from her lips. Katara backed away. Still angry, still trembling, but as she turned to leave again, Azula finally found her voice.

"So why did you save me then?" Azula asked. There was something different in her voice that stopped Katara and it was the only reason she turned around instead of just stomping out.

"I didn't do it for you," she said. "Nagohda made me do it. He even threatened to throw it in the lava if I didn't. Wouldn't have mattered, I could have taken it back by force. He was weak, half dead himself. But I didn't, because when Nagohda looked at me, when he begged me to save your life, I could see that same pain and sorrow and desperation in his eyes that I felt when I thought you'd taken Aang away from me."

Katara stepped fully back into the room and glared down at Azula who seemed almost frozen in her gaze. "That water may have been the only weapon we could've used to stop that spirit out there. You want to make us even? Fine. Then make sure I didn't waste it."

Katara left, the heavy steel door slamming behind her.

Azula lay there for several minutes, staring up at the ceiling, mulling over the perplexing maelstrom of emotions now churning in her gut. Trying to push them away but failing miserably.

Well, she thought, turning over on her side and roughly pulling the blankets up over her shoulder, that wasn't nearly as satisfying as I would have liked.

Hours later, once Azula was awake and in better condition, she was moved, under heavy guard, to a smaller, more easily guarded room. Within about twenty minutes, she was already bored and planning her escape. She wasn't in a prison cell, so perhaps her brother was trying to make her feel a little more welcome, or perhaps this room was simply situated a little closer to where Zuko and the Avatar were having their little meetings. Either way, it meant her room wasn't equipped with a door that locked from the outside, though there were still about half a dozen guards stationed outside. And, as easy as it would be to fight her way through them...

"I have a proposition!" she yelled, throwing open the door to her room and causing most of the men to jump about ten feet in the air, then quickly gripping their weapons and readying their bending. Azula just gave a bored sigh and quickly looked them over, pointing to each one.

"Seven? Really Zuko, only seven?" she said as though taking offense.

"Alright anyway, I've decided incarceration doesn't really suit me, so I'm not going to do it anymore. Excuse me now, if you don't mind."

"Princess, I'm sorry, but we have orders..."

"Yes, I know that my dear brother would rather I not be running about the ship unsupervised, but the problem is I really don't care. See the conflict?"

This time no one said anything. There was a nervous exchange of looks, but no one moved to let her pass and all weapons were still pointed at her.

"Look," Azula said, as though pointing out something obvious to dim children. "It would be all too easy for me to simply tear through the lot of you and leave you humiliated and defeated in my wake. Thing is though, it's an awful lot of effort that I'd rather not go through. And to be perfectly honest, I'm really just not in the mood for it right now. Which, if you force me, will only make it worse. I hate being made to do things I don't want to do. And really, my brother's going to find out anyway. It's really just your choice how that happens. You can let me pass and tell him yourself, or some other, less broken and far more conscious soldiers can stumble across your bodies strewn about the hallway and alert the rest of the ship anyway."

They were sweating bullets now and Azula let her cold eyes drift over them. "So what will it be?"

. . . . . . . . . . .

Elsewhere on the ship and for the first time in two days, Zuko, Aang and the others had finally gotten back together to discuss strategy. Unfortunately, the main point of discussion was that they had no strategy.

Sure, they had something to go on: Guru Pathiks advice that Aang would have to block off the Kaji's power from the spirit world. But then what? None of the information they'd received, not from Guru Pathik, or the Moon Spirit, any of Aang's past lives, or even from the person that had been possessed by the Kaji itself, Nagohda, seemed to indicate any clear course of action of how to move forward from here.

Aang didn't even know how he was supposed to enter the spirit world with his physical body, and that was sort of an important part of the plan. In fact, it was currently the only part of the plan.

Iroh was still gone, collecting the White Lotus, with no idea when he'd return and every day they waited, Kaji only got stronger.

"But we're only gonna get one shot at this!" Zuko insisted in response to Sokka's idea that they try and sneak onto the island once Aang did "his thing."

"We can't just wing it," Zuko continued, "From what it sounds like, were only gonna get one shot at this so we have to make it count."

"Well," Sokka thought out load while leaning against the rail of the ship with his back to the ocean and a hand on his chin. "Maybe, when Aang starts doing his thing, we can sneak onto the island with a bunch of earth- and firebenders and take it by surprise..."

"Wouldn't work anyway," a silky voice slithered into the conversation from the darkness of an open door leading to the interior of the ship. Azula stepped out and leaned against the frame, folding her arms as she did and looking over them.

"Azula! What are doing out of-" Zuko yelled as he readied himself for a fight. The others were quick to take his lead.

"Oh calm down, Brother. I didn't hurt any of your precious little guards. Seems they weren't willing to sacrifice themselves to carry out your orders. Don't know what that says about your leadership, but that's a whole other discussion."

"What do you want, Azula!?" Katara demanded, almost hissing her name.

"Me?" she said, putting a hand to her chest in an act of faux modesty as if all eyes weren't already upon her. "I just want to help, of course."

"We don't need your help!" Sokka exclaimed, eying her angrily. He'd not forgotten that Azula once held Suki as her prisoner, and had even used that fact to her advantage as a distraction during the Day of Black Sun. "We're already working on a plan and we don't-"

"Ah yes. I remember just how well your plans work out," Azula interrupted and said with a little smirk, "Like invading the Fire Nation. That was your plan, wasn't it? Remind me again how well that worked out for you?"

"Why you..." Katara spat out. Aang and Zuko exchanged a look. Zuko remembered when he'd tried to join Aang and Katara had flattened him with a blast of water, sending him tumbling, and Katara's voice was gaining that same edge. Katara took a step forward, one hand lifting to her waterskin, at the same moment, hands clapped over her shoulders, one from Aang, one from Zuko.

Katara shot them both of them a look, but neither said anything. Aang just shook his head, while Zuko addressed Azula.

"If you're just here to start a fight, Azula, then-" Zuko began before Azula changed her demeanor and interrupted again. She lifted her hands as though surrendering and stepped out from the doorway toward them all.

"All I'm trying to do is talk to you, Dear Brother. It's your little fiends that are misbehaving. I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to help, because you seriously need all you can get."

"Yeah, right," Sokka said, unconvinced. "This is just another one of your schemes. I don't know what you're up to but if you really think we're going to trust you after everything-"

"Fine, fine," Azula said, throwing her arms up. "If you really think I'm just trying to play you all for fools, which really isn't all that difficult, in favor of some grand plan of mine to take over the world, then, by all means, keep thinking that. However, at least accept that doing so is made all the more difficult if the world doesn't exist anymore. So regardless of what you suspect of my intentions, it remains in my best interest to make sure that doesn't happen. That is to say, it is therefore in my best interest to help you stop this spirit. And from what I've gathered, you need all the help you can get."

There were a few grumbles and exchanged looks of displeasure, but no one could really argue that Azula didn't have a point. So after a few more moments, Zuko finally gave her the go ahead to have her say.

"But stick to the point," Zuko warned.

"But of course, my Fire Lord," she said, making an exaggerated bow.

"Back to the point I was trying to make earlier before being to rudely interrupted, do you know the entire reason I went through the trouble of dragging that watertribe peasant around with me all that time?"

"In case you wanted a snack?" Toph said. There were a few sniggers, and Sokka gave her a thumbs up. Beyond that, however, no one said anything. Azula looked around, then sighed.

"Really?" Azula said. "It was my understanding that Yu... Nagohda had informed you of our little adventure."

"That's right!" Aang said, slapping a hand to his forehead. "I almost forgot."

Aang looked to Katara and recalled how Nagohda told them about his ability to sense a person's bending and how that was the reason he'd both found and run from Aang back in Yenrai.

"Yes," Azula said. "He had a sensitivity toward benders that was very useful."

"Not the only thing he has a sensitivity for..." Sokka said under his breath while grinning. Suki coughed to cover a laugh and Ty Lee giggled. Azula shot them a steely look. Apparently her rendezvous with Nagohda hadn't remained a secret.

"The point being," Azula spat, "that ability of his, along with everything he could do, was a result of that spirit trapped within him. His abilities grew stronger the longer I was with him, and I would suspect that now that this... Kaji was it? has freed itself, it's only continued to grow stronger."

"Well then," Sokka said. "What about non-benders. If we can-"

He was cut off by Azula's laughter. "You'd be destroyed in a heartbeat."

"Why you-" Sokka said, reaching for his weapon, and Suki was right behind him. It was Katara that stopped them.

"Sorry Sokka, but she has a point," Katara said, and it was obvious that it pained her to admit it. "Not even Aang could stand up to this thing."

"Ok, so what's your brilliant plan, then?" Sokka asked, shrugging Katara off and glaring at Azula. Sokka figured he knew Azula well enough that she wouldn't be taunting them like this unless she already had something up her sleeve. Giving her the opportunity, however, felt like a small defeat, and it was only his anger that let it slip.

"Glad you asked," Azula said with a smile. "Well, since you apparently have to, what was it again?" She turned to Aang now and tapped a finger to her chin as though trying to remember something. "Cut off its power from the spirit world?"

Azula said, looking at Aang as though to confirm.

"Uh, yeah," Aang said, then added, "but-"

"I spoke to Yu," Azula paused a second then corrected herself, "Nagohda before he left. He gave me a summary, though, if I'm going to be of any real use, the details would be appreciated."

Reluctantly, and only after a brief exchange with Zuko, Aang explained what Guru Pathik had told him. Which, all told, wasn't much. Aang still didn't know several things involved in 'his part' of the plan.

"Makes sense," Azula said, tapping a finger to her chin. "It's like cutting off an enemy's supply line instead of engaging them directly. Though, in this case, it seems the enemy has multiple supply lines. Right then! It seems we'll have to cut off all of them."

"Cut off... all of what?" asked Aang.

"Was I speaking in code," Azula said, raising an eyebrow at him. She looked around at the others, all waiting for her to explain. She rubbed the bridge of her nose between two fingers and shook her head. "I'll never understand how I lost to you people."

"I mean exactly what I said," Azula continued, "This fire spirit is drawing its power from both the spirit and physical world, correct? And, if cutting off its power from the spirit world in part makes it vulnerable, then finding a means to cut it off from that volcano should do much the same."

There was some murmuring between them.

"I... I guess that makes sense," Aang admitted. Sokka added, "But how are we supposed to do that? Have you taken a look at that thing? What it's done to Crescent Island. Not even Aang could crack that shell and he's the Avatar. What are any of us supposed to do about it?"

Azula gave a long blank stare then said very dryly, "You're reliance on the Avatar is honestly a little pathetic. No offense."

"None taken," Aang said, dryly.

Azula shot him a quaint little smile. "Yes, you are very powerful. I admit it. But just because the great and powerful Avatar can't accomplish a task single-handedly doesn't mean it can't be accomplished. After all, how many benders do you think it takes to equal one Avatar? A few dozen? A few hundred? Thousands? It's a rhetorical question," she said to Sokka who'd actually pulled out some parchment and started doing equations.

"My point being," she said, walking over to Zuko and looking him dead in the eyes. "AS is usual dear brother, you're not thinking big enough. I suppose all those years spent wandering in exile and mingling with peasants has diminished your appreciation for the forces you now command. It's a good thing I'm here. Calm yourself; it's the truth isn't it?"

Zuko had been getting ready to say something when Azula turned away from him and walked to the side of the ship. Looking out over the ocean and gathered fleets of ships, she turned back around. "It may seem an impressive gathering, but the Fire Nation has hundreds more ships available. Have you sent for them brother? No?"

Despite his building anger, Zuko's not answering was everything she needed to know.

"You're the Fire Lord. Please start acting like it" she said, leaning in close and saying it just loud enough above a whisper that, to the others, it sounded like a snake hissing the words.

If she'd stayed there for another second, there's a good possibility a fight would have broken out between the two. Perhaps sensing this, or maybe intending as such but realizing how outnumbered she was and deciding against it, Azula smiled and turned away from her brother. After a few steps she said over her shoulder.

"Where's your Uncle by the way? I'd heard he was here?"

"Our Uncle," Zuko corrected her. "And what do you want with him?"

Azula shrugged a bit and continued, "Not me; It's the battle that's going to need him."

Zuko was dumbfounded for a moment. Was Azula actually complimenting Iroh?

As though addressing this very question before it could be asked, Azula went on, "As much as it pains me to admit it, he was a very skilled general, and despite being shipped off with you to be forgotten, being labeled a traitor up north, and all but confirming his treachery in Ba Sing Se, he still commands a great deal of respect from our soldiers. More so than they do even you, I would imagine. I also understand that it was he who helped reclaim Ba Sing Se for the Earth Kingdom?"

"Yes," Zuko said.

"And the entire reason both you and he were branded traitors in the first place was because of what he did in the Northern Watertribe. Helping to repel, oh what was that upstarts name? Zhao?"

"What are you getting at Azula?" Zuko asked. Azula went on as though she was now just speaking to herself, thinking out loud as it were.

"In fact, he really is the best person for the job. The only one who has the trust to pull it off."

"Azula, what are you..." Zuko started, and Azula looked up.

"Sorry, just thinking out loud," she said dismissively. "Where were we?"

"You were telling us your plan," Zuko said, somehow looking both eager and frustrated. Looking past him, Azula saw that they were now all intent on hearing her next words. Azula gave a triumphant little smile. She walked through the group toward the prow of the ship. They parted around her, as though she was oil moving through water. Ignoring the readied hands and looks they flashed her, she moved past and curled her fingers around the prow's railing. Azula surveyed the ocean before her, looking out at the gathered ships, both Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom alike.

"Is this all we have to work with?"

There was an exchange of looks and few murmured questions. There were already hundreds of benders, both fire and earth, spread across the ships gathered around Crescent Island.

"The Northern Watertribe is sending some soldiers... we hope."

"You hope or you know?"

"We just sent word with your boyfriend," Toph said with the obvious intention of getting under Azula's skin. It worked. Though Toph couldn't see it, she was shot a look meant to kill. Without acknowledging that Toph felt (and enjoyed) the spike in Azula's heartbeat, she went on without pause, "It'll probably be another couple days before we know for sure."

Letting her glare linger on Toph for a few more seconds, she turned around and faced the fleet again. "Even if they do, it still won't be enough. What we have here... Pathetic. What we need is not just to fight it, but to overwhelm it, completely."

"Uh..." Sokka stepped forward and was looking the opposite direction of Azula, his attention on the glowing ball of fire far away on the horizon. "You do see the size of that thing? How are we supposed to overwhelm it, exactly?"

"Simple. More benders."

"Alright." Zuko said. His tone made it clear that he was getting tired of Azula's evasiveness. "How many more?"

She surveyed the ocean and ships once again, then turned to regard Crescent Island, its sphere of flames reflecting in her eyes as two bright tiny orange dots. Weighing the knowledge that such a catastrophic and sustained phenomenon was the result of a single being's nearly unimaginable power, she turned to Zuko and answered.

"All of them."

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Ok, so as to why the hell this update took so long. I can only say that I've been overloaded with work. What kind of work you ask (and even if you didn't, I'm the one writing this, so I get to decide what you asked, so suck it). Well if your curious, you can check out the seriously awesome things I do to make money get thrown at me (No, I'm not a male stripper. I didn't mean money thrown at me like that). I am, by profession, a welder/fabricator and I'm currently stuck up in Williston, ND (yeah, the oil boom town. No, I'm not doing anything to the poor earth, I don't work on the rigs. All my steel work is either artistic or residential). You can check my shit, if you want to, over at my deviant art page here...

matt-thermo . deviantart gallery/

(Obviously take the spaces out)