Insufficient Data

By Berzerker_prime

Summary: A tag for "A Nice, Indecent Little Town." Ever try and teach an AI about religion? Michael Knight and Bonnie Barstow take a crack at it with some surprising, and some might say miraculous, results.

Notes: This fic is set just after the end of the original series episode "A Nice, Indecent Little Town."

Yes, I am a Christian. No, I'm not trying to preach. In fact, there is very little about Christianity, specifically, in this piece.

This is outside of the sort of thing that I normally write, so it might be a little clumsy. Plot bunnies can be such fickle things. Please take anything presented here with a grain of salt and evaluate the matter of faith for yourself.

Enjoy! And remember; fanfic authors love feedback!

*******

It was a fairly hefty book, that was certain. Michael had already been reading to KITT for two hours and he was just beginning the second part of the book, called Exodus. He had asked Michael how many parts there were to the book, and his driver had been unable to answer, mumbling about how he felt like he was in "confirmation class" again. KITT had no idea what that meant.

Bonnie and Mister Miles had departed with expressions that KITT's processors had identified as mischief. That was strange, considering that this was hardly the first time Michael had shared a book with the AI. Granted, this one was by far the longest, so far. It was also the strangest. The language structures it used were archaic at best. It skipped over great swathes of time, beginning with some sort of a creation story that had his processors reeling, trying to figure out the wild claims and inconsistencies. Now, it had moved on to a history of Egypt that KITT had never heard before. Already, the activity of sorting it all out had slowed down his processor speed by almost a full microsecond.

Despite the flood of activity already bogging down his system, KITT spared some RAM for observing his partner. Michael shifted and fidgeted, seemingly uncomfortable reading the book aloud. Every so often, he would sigh and grind his teeth, hesitating before continuing as if to do so would cause trouble that the driver didn't want.

Bonnie re-entered the back portion of the semi, where KITT and Michael were sitting, and quietly leaned against the nearest wall, crossing her arms over her chest and giving a smirk that KITT's facial recognition software returned as amusement. Michael had just begun chapter five of Exodus as she entered and he cast her a look.

That look, KITT's processors told him, was the one that was meant to ask "why are you doing this to me?" It was one of the most subtle expressions recorded by his data; subtle enough that he only would have recognized it from his driver, who he spent the most time with, on whom he had recorded the most data.

"Verse eight," Michael was saying, around the look he had directed at Bonnie, "and the tale of the bricks, which they did make heretofore, ye shall lay upon them; ye shall not diminish aught thereof; for they are idle; therefore they cry, saying: Bonnie, I'm begging you." Michael had thrown aside the hand that was holding the book, changing his expression to one of a pleading victim. "There must be some download or something you could give him."

KITT's processors returned an error. Logic dictated that the concept of a download didn't exist in ancient Egypt. They then returned another error. Neither had Bonnie. He needed more data.

"Are you certain that is what they said, Michael?" he asked.

"Hold on, KITT," said Michael, once again turning his attention to the mechanic, "please, Bonnie."

"Why should I, Michael?" Bonnie said around a laugh. "This is so much more amusing. Besides, what makes you think I have anything I can download to his systems?"

"You load information into him all the time," Michael whined, "you've even given him books to process. If there are any books that have digital versions, this book has got to be one of them."

KITT could find no information in his databanks about why that would be. This book seemed to be no different than any other. But Bonnie seemed to take it as a given. KITT came to the conclusion that this book was somehow special for some reason and added the information to his data.

"Maybe," said Bonnie, stepping a few feet closer to Michael and leaning against the computer console with that strange smile on her face that suggested flirtation. Or smugness. KITT's facial recognition software was returning a fifty percent chance on either one. "But what about you? I think you could use the refresher."

That suggested that Michael had read this book before. But it was still uncertain. More data was needed for confirmation. "Have you read this book before, Michael?" KITT asked.

"Yes," Michael said, a full point-five seconds faster than he normally answered questions. "No," he said, another point-five seconds later. Then there was a pause and he rolled his eyes and shook his head in an expression KITT's software couldn't nail down. "Sort of. Parts of it."

Another error. It was not common practice to read only a part of a book written in a narrative style. Part of the story would be missing, causing data gaps and confusion. KITT still needed more data.

"Michael, that makes no sense," KITT said, "how do you get the whole story? If you haven't read the whole book, it is nearly the same as not having read the book at all."

"See?" Bonnie said. Her tone of voice provided more data for KITT's processors. He concluded that Bonnie's expression was smugness.

"Bonnie," Michael said, with that note of warning he reserved for those times when the driver and the mechanic matched wits with one another. "Seriously. This will take weeks if I have to read it to him aloud."

When that information was loaded into KITT's data, his system gave a new conclusion, one he hadn't expected. If the story from this book was for several weeks constantly in need of more data in order to make sense of it all, his processor speed would be diminished for that entire time. This was in conflict with his core program. He needed to be in top form on a mission in order to protect Michael Knight and preserve human life.

"Weeks!" KITT exclaimed, then turned his sensors in Bonnie's direction. "Bonnie, the logical errors and inconsistencies in this story have already bogged down my processors by ten to the negative six seconds! I can't be expected to function like this for weeks! Perhaps, under the circumstances, you could..." he paused, searching his data for the correct expression. "Cut Michael some slack, as they say?"

"There, see?" Michael said, quite obviously seizing an opportunity. "It's bogging down KITT's processors. You have to give him a download."

"Ganging up on me, are you?" Bonnie said.

"Hardly," KITT answered, adding that tone that his data told him gave an air of authority. "My core program simply requires that I operate at my best during a mission. I can't do that if my processors are still returning errors from this strange plotline and calling for more data and clarification."

"Couldn't have put it better myself, pal," said Michael, his expression now taking on smugness.

Bonnie's expression, however, turned away from the light, joking tone that she had had up until now to one of the ones she had whenever she was considering a problem with KITT's systems. KITT had never come up with a term for this particular expression and Bonnie had never supplied one before. Consequently, he had no reference for whether the expression was a good one or a bad one.

"Come to think of it, KITT, I don't know that finishing the book would help," she said.

Her meaning was uncertain. KITT needed more data.

"What do you mean?"

Bonnie snatched the book from Michael's hand and took the spot he had been previously occupying in the chair directly in front of KITT's scanner. "Well," she said, "people have been thinking and arguing about this book for over eighteen-hundred years."

"She means one-thousand-nine-hundred-eighty-three years, to be precise," Michael added.

KITT's data told him there was an inconsistency here; Michael usually didn't know numbers that precisely.

"No," said Bonnie right away, "the Bible was finalized around the year 100 AD. So it's technically one-thousand-eight-hundred-eighty-three years."

Inconsistency resolved. Michael was wrong about a large number. Again.

"Gee, Bonnie, you always know how to make a guy feel great about himself," said Michael, using the tone that suggested he meant the opposite. KITT still didn't entirely compute the idea of sarcasm and why humans seemed to use it so often. It was in direct conflict with another piece of information in his data; "one can only mean what one says if one says what one means."

At the same time, another conclusion was reached by KITT's processors. Humans had had a very long time to figure out this strange and scattered narrative and yet they had not. Why? His data was insufficient to answer the question.

"Bonnie, if humans have been that long trying to figure out this book, I don't understand why it is so widely read as you suggest," KITT said, "what makes this book so special?"

"Well, KITT, it's... an important book," said Bonnie, uncertainty lacing her words, "it's just... important."

"Perhaps if I were able to process it in its entirety?"

Bonnie looked uncertain, still. But she got up from the chair and went over to the computer console. "Okay, KITT," she said, "but you might find that it brings up more questions than answers."

A clatter of keys and a moment later KITT found that new information was streaming into his RAM. His processors immediately went to work, sorting through all of it, returning numerous errors and queries for further data. He analyzed the overall plotline and found nothing new to contribute to almost any of the queries or resolve any of the errors. His CPU slowed another microsecond as it managed the activity. Finally, when it seemed as if all the queries and errors had made themselves known, KITT could find no way to resolve any of them.

"That's all?" he asked.

"Isn't it enough?" Michael asked with the tone that indicated he was amazed by something, though KITT needed more data as to what that might be.

"Hardly," KITT replied, "there are a number of contradictions in this book, Michael. As well as a fair amount of material that either makes no logical sense or directly contradicts data already in my memory. To say nothing of the events that simply do not compute. I can only conclude that this book is utter nonsense."

Michael burst out laughing and dropped back into the chair directly in front of KITT's scanner, stretching his long legs out in front of him and crossing his arms over his chest. "Congrats, Bonnie!" he said. "You programmed a heathen!"

KITT accessed that word and matched it to a definition. It was quite negative.

"I beg your pardon, Michael!" KITT exclaimed. "I hardly think that someone who hasn't bothered to peruse the entire text is qualified to make judgments. Besides that, I fail to see how that label applies in any sense. It has no particular connection to this book."

"Now you sound like my mother," said Michael.

The data was insufficient to make sense of the comment. Perhaps a demonstration was in order. "No Michael," KITT said, then accessed another section of data, one he hardly ever had the need to access. He fed the data into his vocal routines, producing a feminine voice that his information told him would be a reasonable facsimile of the mother of Michael Long. "This would be sounding like your mother."

Michael leaped up from the chair and stumbled backward, wearing a look on his face that KITT's software told him was one of fear. The driver calmed down a moment later and his expression shifted to one of annoyance. There was, however, a 30% chance that it was one of anger.

"Okay, never do that again," Michael said, wagging one finger at the car.

KITT withdrew the new data from his vocal processes, returning his voice to normal mode. "This conversation is confusing," he said, "all these errors running around in my processors are quite disconcerting. You were right, Bonnie. This has raised more questions than answers. Perhaps you should remove the data."

A strange expression crossed his driver's features for a moment, one that KITT's software could not process and return a result. Part of the data suggested confusion. Another part suggested determination. Still another portended anticipation and there was even a tiny portion that suggested pride. It was a very strange mix indeed.

"Are you sure that's what you want, KITT?" Bonnie asked, from her place by the computer.

"No, he isn't," said Michael, holding up his hands, one arm stretched out toward Bonnie, the other toward KITT. "Just wait a second. Before you decide that, you need to know the whole story, here, buddy."

A logic error came back to KITT's CPU. "I thought I had received the entire text," he said.

"Yeah, you did, but that isn't everything," Michael said, spinning the chair around and straddling it, leaning against the back.

"Michael, your lack of logic never ceases to amaze me," KITT commented, "either I have downloaded the entire book or I have not."

"Forget the book for a second. Answer me this, KITT. How do you know something?"

"Simple," KITT replied, "if my databanks contain data on the subject, I know it."

"How do you know if something is true?"

"Observation leads to data which can be consulted and processed to come to a conclusion."

"What happens if you have data that directly contradicts other data."

"A statistical analysis of each set of data, based upon observed instances, will conclude that one of them is the more likely of the two, rendering the other in error."

"What if it comes out to a fifty-fifty chance?"

"Then I require more data to come to a definite conclusion."

"And what do you do if there is no more data to be had or if it's impossible to get more data?"

"That does not compute, Michael," said KITT, "it is always possible to gather more data."

"But what would you do if it isn't?"

"Do?" the AI asked. "There is nothing to do, Michael. In such a scenario, no conclusion may be reached. But I fail to see the relevance. What does that have to do with the book?"

"Just hang on a sec, pal," said Michael, "here comes the big question. In that scenario, where you have two sets of data that have equal chance of being right and no way to gather any new data, what happens if you have to come to a conclusion in order to take action in accordance with your primary function? What happens if you have to come to a conclusion in order to save a life?"

KITT's processors accepted the query innocently and began running the algorithms and program strings that were supposed to yield an answer.

A decision needed to be reached in order to carry out his primary function. That meant consulting the available data. Two sets of data were available. That meant that an analysis needed to be run to decide which was more viable. They were both equally viable. That meant that more data was needed. There was no more data available. That meant that no decision could be reached. A decision needed to be reached in order to carry out his primary function. That meant consulting the available data. Two sets of data were available. That meant that an analysis needed to be run to decide which was more viable. They were both equally viable. That meant that more data was needed. There was no more data available. That meant that no decision could be reached. A decision needed to be reached in order to carry out his primary function. That meant consulting the available data. Two sets of data were available. That meant that an analysis needed to be run to decide which was more viable. They were both equally viable. That meant that more data was needed. There was no more data available. That meant that no decision could be reached. A decision needed to be reached in order to carry out his primary function. That meant consulting the available-

"-not even remotely funny, Michael!" Bonnie's voice was suddenly being picked up by KITT's sensors. His data suggested that she was angry. A quick scan of her face and body language confirmed it. "You set up a logic loop in KITT's CPU! His processors were running at 114% and he completely froze!"

Michael was no longer in the chair in front of KITT's scanner. He was hovering over Bonnie's shoulder, next to the computer console, as she finished a set of key strokes. His expression suggested concern. "I didn't know that was going to happen, Bonnie, honestly," he said, "is he all right?"

"I think I managed to abort the loop all right," the engineer replied, then turned to KITT. "KITT, CPU status report."

"BIOS functioning within normal parameters," KITT replied after quickly accessing the desired data, "processors functioning at 27%. No memory leaks detected."

Strange. He seemed to be missing information. His best data told him that it was impossible for a human to instantly move from one location to another, yet Michael seemed to have done so just after offering his query. The conclusion that KITT's processors offered him was that he had lost time. Not a good problem to have. He needed to fix that. He needed more information.

"There is a portion of time for which I have no data, Bonnie. All my sensors and perceptors seem to have gone dark, including my chronometer. What happened?"

"Your driver, happened," Bonnie said, sourly, turning her very irate gaze back to the tall man, "he set up a logic loop in your CPU that took up all your available processor speed, including the part that controls all your inputs. I managed to abort it before it cascaded into data loss, thank goodness."

"Then, I agree with your assessment, Bonnie," KITT said, "that wasn't even remotely funny, Michael."

"Sorry, pal," Michael said, genuine guilt on his face, "I sometimes forget that you and I don't think the same way."

"Please try to remember in the future," said KITT, "if I end up freezing like that on a mission..." His processors came to a conclusion that he most certainly didn't care for; so much so that he immediately purged it from his processor. "I don't even want to think about it."

"Well, KITT, we may have to," said Bonnie, leaning her elbows on her knees, the focus of her eyes converging on somewhere far beyond the walls of the semi which, KITT's data told him, meant that she was considering a puzzle.

"What do you mean?" KITT asked.

"Strange as it may seem, Michael may have brought up something we have to address," she replied, "without even giving any specifics, he set up a scenario in which you are completely unable to make a decision. As unlikely as it seems, a scenario like it could come up during a mission."

"Aw, Bonnie, no way," Michael broke in, "KITT already said there's always more data to be gathered."

"But even that data might not be enough for him to make a decision," said Bonnie, "I can think of a number of different situations where it could happen in the field, none of them good."

"Are you saying we've found a puzzle that KITT can't solve? That he could freeze up in the middle of a mission?"

"Probably at the worst possible moment, too," said Bonnie with a quick nod of her head, "think about it, Michael. I'm sure you can come up with a real-world situation like the one you described."

That piece of data wound its way through KITT's processors and filed itself away in his memory, causing new conclusions to be generated on its way. Logic, the central core of KITT's thought processes, could be used as a weapon against him and Michael if someone was clever enough. Michael's life and the lives of others could be put in danger due to KITT's inability to act. That was most certainly against his primary function. This weakness needed to be purged. But as long as his thought processes worked the way they did, it could not.

"This is quite disturbing," KITT said, "my inaction could be as dangerous as my action."

"Like the man once said, pal," said Michael, "all that is needed for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing."

"Unacceptable," said KITT, "Bonnie, I'll need to be reprogrammed."

"Whoa!" Michael exclaimed. The jump he gave suggested shock and surprise. "Buddy, isn't that a little drastic? Bonnie, tell him that's drastic."

"Drastic is one word for it!" Bonnie said, her tone in agreement with Michael's. "KITT, we aren't going to reprogram you."

"Whyever not?"

"Because you wouldn't be you anymore, pal," said Michael.

"That hardly seems relevant in this case."

"Oh, it's relevant to us!" Bonnie exclaimed. "Believe me!"

"Why?"

Michael looked at KITT incredulously. "It'd be like ripping out your soul, KITT!"

"That does not compute," said KITT, "since when do I have a soul?"

"Since the day you were first switched on," said Bonnie, "you've been learning and changing ever since then. The first thing you ever said was 'this is the Knight Industries Two-Thousand.' You said it when someone asked you to identify yourself for the first time."

"How is that relevant?"

Michael gave a smile and changed the tilt of his head upward in that gesture he had that suggested he knew of a smart-ass was of answering the question.

"Identify yourself, pal."

"I am KITT, the Knight Industries Two-Thousand."

"See the difference?" Bonnie asked.

"I used a different subject noun and conjugation," said KITT.

Bonnie nodded. "And no one ever told you to do so. That was a decision you made all on your own. You started saying that, or something like it, months after your core programming was completed."

"Oh, it gets better," said Michael, "the first time you ever introduced yourself to me you said 'I am the voice of Knight Industries Two-Thousand's computer' or something like that. You've even changed it since then. Just ten short little months, pal."

"Interesting," said KITT, "what reason could I have had for changing the way I identify myself?"

Michael shrugged. "No reason at all, pal. You just decided to. Which I think might be the solution to our problem."

"Howso?"

"It shows that you're capable of making a decision completely on your own with no particular reason to back it up. That, my friend, is the quality of a living, thinking being. And I've never met one of those that didn't have a soul."

"How is that a solution to the problem inherent in my programming?"

"Because whenever I can't decide something, it's my soul that I listen to. Logic is all well and good, but sometimes, you just gotta do what you feel, deep down, is the right thing. Logic can't solve every problem."

This new piece of information landed squarely in the middle of KITT's memory. No piece of input could run through his processors in such a way as to not interact with it. It sat right next to the basic tenants of logic, which did the same. If logic failed, there would be something else to examine.

"I see," said KITT, "however, it may be prudent to test your theory while we're still here in the semi rather than while we are out on a mission."

The slight squint of Bonnie's eyes and the crease of her forehead told KITT that Bonnie was less than enthusiastic about the idea. "I don't know, KITT," she said, "if a logic loop forms again, I may not be able to abort it before it ends up cascading into data loss."

"Please, Bonnie," KITT pressed, "it is important to me. I'd like to try."

Bonnie sighed, a sign that she was not entirely comfortable with the situation. None the less, she turned to her computer console and called up the diagnostic programs that so often observed KITT's CPU. "All right," she said, "just be careful. We don't want to lose you. Michael's logic puzzle should be in your inactive memory. Go ahead and access it."

KITT did so, pulling up the set of data that composed Michael's original query. A decision needed to be reached in order to carry out his primary function. That meant consulting the available data. Two sets of data were available. That meant that an analysis needed to be run to decide which was more viable. They were both equally viable. That meant that more data was needed. There was no more data available. That meant that no decision could be reached. A decision needed to be reached in order to carry out his primary function.

His processor returned an error, identifying the process as a logic loop, an impossible puzzle. The conclusion was that logic was not the solution. KITT had to listen to his soul.

That, however, returned an error of its own. The situation was still unknown. The scenario outlined was too vague and unspecific.

"I suppose that my action would depend on the specific situation," he said.

"My god!" Bonnie exclaimed, her eyes wide, fixed on her monitor.

"Yeah!" Michael exclaimed, jumping into the air by a few inches and pumping the air with a fist. "That's my supercar! Good work, KITT!"

"I can't believe it," Bonnie said, still studying the strings of code on her monitor, "a new algorithm identified the logic loop, broke it, and sent a query into... I don't even know where!" Her mouth gaping open, she turned to look at both Michael and KITT in turn. "KITT," she said, "you just reprogrammed yourself."

"It would seem that looking to something other than logic is the solution to a logical paradox," KITT said, "I can't say that that ever would have occurred to me if you hadn't suggested it, Michael. I never thought I would ever be thankful for your lack of logic."

"Try not to sound too disappointed about it," Michael said, dropping back into the chair in front of KITT's scanner with a broad grin.

"I'm not," KITT replied, "I'm simply surprised. But we seem to have digressed from the original topic. What does all of that have to do with that book?"

"Go ahead and run the text through your processors again," said Michael, "and then tell me what you think of it."

KITT did so, his processors returning errors again. But rather than disregard them as nonsense, he ran them through the new algorithm and looked at them through the lens provided by that other source of information, the one Bonnie had been unable to locate in KITT's code. When logic was circumvented, fewer errors occurred and KITT came to some conclusions he had been unable to reach before.

"I think I am beginning to understand the importance of the book," he said to Michael, "but it still doesn't completely make sense."

"Yeah, me neither, pal," said Michael, "and I don't think it's really supposed to. We just sort of have to take what it says on faith."

"You mean suspend our disbelief?"

"Not exactly. More like, believe in it."

"I don't understand the difference."

"Well, when you suspend your disbelief you're saying that you don't believe in something but are willing to ignore that for the sake of argument. If you actually believe something, you don't need to pretend to believe it. You just do."

"But if there are this many contradictions in the book, how do we know which arguments we should believe and which ones we shouldn't?"

"The same way you solved that logic puzzle," said Michael, "ignore logic."

"But I've already done that, Michael," KITT replied, "not everything has been resolved yet."

Michael shrugged. "Even when you listen to your soul, you can't always come up with an answer. Sometimes, the soul needs to think about it for a while."

"You mean I have to wait for the data? A conclusion?"

"Sometimes you do, yeah."

"I don't think I like that."

"Join the club, pal. Join the club."

"Is this why humans have been thinking about this book for generations?"

"Bingo!"

KITT's processors hummed, still attempting to work through the left over queries and puzzles the text had produced. His processor speed was still noticeably slowed by it. But now, it was within the margin of error that the parameters of his primary function allowed. Not only that, but this new way of thinking actually allowed the questions to remain unanswered, safely filed away in KITT's inactive memory to be called up whenever he wished. He no longer needed to keep them in active memory as long as they did not have an answer.

"Bonnie," he said, "I wish to keep the text on file, if you don't mind. I think... I believe that addressing the questions it raises is a worthwhile pursuit. I'd like to work on it between missions."

"Sure thing, KITT," Bonnie said with a laugh and a smile. She shot a look in Michael's direction. "Look out, Michael, you've just minted a Biblical scholar."

Michael gave a sigh, one that KITT's data suggested was either one of suffering or one of amusement. "No good deed goes unpunished," he said. His tone of voice, too, was giving the same two possibilities, in equal measure.

Logic failed him, so KITT consulted his soul.

The conclusion that was returned was that Michael was feeling neither suffering nor amusement.

KITT's driver was feeling pride.