A/N: Please, don't ask where this came from. It's an NFA Hangman prize. It's slightly (or maybe totally) deranged. I'm not sure what I was thinking...beyond that Tim's hair in season 5 was much too long. The best thing about this story is that it's short.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own NCIS...and to the nice men in white coats, I'm not making money off this and I'm not crazy.

The Hair
by Enthusiastic Fish

A deep, threatening voice boomed within the confines of Tim's bathroom. "I'm still waiting for you to add me as co-author, Tim."

Rather than being frightened, Tim just sighed in resignation. "It's not going to happen. Give it up."

"I made you. Your ideas came from me. I deserve to be co-author."

"Correction, my brain made the ideas," Tim corrected, looking at his head in annoyance. "Besides, think how crazy that would look."

"I don't see anything wrong with it."

"That's because you don't have eyes."

"Very funny."

"I thought so. Now, are you going to behave today...unlike yesterday?"

"It was a mullet! No one should ever inflict a mullet on an innocent head of hair. It's cruel and unusual punishment!" the voice cried.

"Still, it's their choice. Maybe that was the best style for them."

"Best style?! You're kidding, right? A mullet is not style. It is torture." Then, the voice sounded nervous. "You're not considering it...are you?"

Tim laughed. "No. Of course not. I have enough trouble with your behavior as it is. I'm not giving you more excuses to act out. Now, get in line, please."

"I'm tired of that style. You're getting so boring, Tim."

"It's this or the buzz cut."

"No! Not the buzz! Anything but the buzz..." the voice paused and then added, "...and the mullet."

"Then, behave!" Tim said, losing patience. "And shut up! You're driving me crazy."

"Fine," the voice rumbled. "Be that way."

"Good." Tim began to style his hair. Occasionally, strands would poke up out of nowhere, but he brandished his comb dangerously and they fell into place.

As Tim drank his coffee, he grimaced when his hair rippled briefly as if in the wind. "I'm still thinking of going back to the buzz," he whispered threateningly.

The hair subsided.

"One more..." he added. "One more embarrassing comment, one more threat, I will cut you off." There was a shiver. "I'm also not above adding more pomade." Another shiver and every strand lay still.

Finally, satisfied, Tim left his apartment to go to work.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Good morning, McGee."

"Hey, Tony," two voices replied.

"How's the hair?" he asked in amusement.

Tim rolled his eyes and glared at his head. "It wouldn't shut up this morning."

"I told you. Why do you think Gibbs and I keep ours short?"

"I'm not ruling that out."

There was a small whimper and then silence. Tim glared in the general direction of his head. Sometimes, it was a real annoyance when his hair had a mind of its own.

FINIS!