An AkuDem. Written in Demyx's POV.

It sucked. You know, seeing him depressed and all that. Because Axel isn't really a depressing sort of guy. If you wanted depressing, you'd go to Zexion for that. But back then, Axel was giving him a run for his title of 'King Emo of the Castle.' And I didn't want to see that.

Axel was my best friend. Because, well

A) Xemnas - He was a creep.
B) Xigbar shot everything that moved.
C) Xaldin - Do I even need to explain?
D) Vexen - He was old, and a creep.
E) Lexaues - I just didn't like him. He was too quiet.
F) King Emo - I mean, Zexion - Too depressing and did not appreciate the value of music.
G) Saix - In love with Xemnas, which makes him a creep.
H) Luxord - He liked to gamble and play around a bit too much for my tastes.
I) Marluxia - Fruity and gay. So I kept away from him as much as I could.
J) Larxene - She was a freaking bitch.
K) Roxas - He left Axel in the dust. So of course I hated him. How could I not?

That's how it all started. With Roxas.

The night that Roxas went away, to answer some unanswerable questions that are just better left unanswered, like the chicken and the egg question, Axel came back depressed as hell. He was obsessed with that kid, and it was killing him. Because he couldn't let go. And yeah, sure. I was a bit angry that he had let himself sink so far, but at the same time, I blamed Roxas for most of this. Because if Roxas - if SORA - had never decided to take on this frankly, stupid, mission, then Axel would never have been as sad as he was back then.

Leader says we don't have emotions. That we can't feel. Can't feel anything, not even love, hate, anger, joy. But Axel made me feel, just as, I suppose, Roxas made him feel. If only a little bit.

Axel was transformed from a nonchalant, flaming pyro to a depressed, little emo in the span of a day and a half. I can't help but sense that Zexion had some hand in this.

But yeah. He switched personalities on the flip of a switch. And I didn't like it. Because Axel was my best friend. And when he was depressed, I was depressed, too.

So I made a plan. And don't go around saying that the only plans I can make are written on notecards, because THEY'RE NOT!!! Jesus! Just because I like to have things on index cards doesn't mean that everybody can abuse me by saying I'm stupid and can't think of anything beyond the span of an index card! But yeah. I made a plan, to cheer Axel up, to make him forget about Roxas.

I didn't account for something, though. I didn't account for the fact that Axel might love Roxas. I didn't think of that for even a moment. And that was my fault. I was the one to blame.

But that didn't mean that it should have had to hurt so much.

I wasn't Roxas, and I sure as hell knew that. Axel knew that, too, but for both our sakes, he was willing to try it. My plan was pretty simple, actually: Just get Axel to divert his attention away from Roxas. And keep it away. And if going out with him meant that he would be distracted, if even for a night or so, then fine. I was ready to do that.

I'm not a selfish person. And I didn't like to see Axel suffer like he was suffering then.

So we dated. We went to movies, went on some random Heartless bashings, messed around with the color scheme of The Castle That Never Was or whatever the hell we called it. And it was, well, fun. Axel was enjoying himself, he was happy again. Roxas had constantly been pushing Axel away, had constantly been making him hurt. I was sure that Axel had never had this much fun before with Roxas. In this life, or the next.

Demyx: 1. Roxas: 0.

I was damn stupid. Stupid as a rock. Heck, I was so stupid then that I made a rock look like a freaking genius.

Axel wasn't happy. He wasn't. And maybe I fooled myself into believing that, deluded myself into thinking that those sighs were just because he was exhausted, that the tears glossing over his emerald eyes were just because he had something in his eyes or whatever. I fooled myself into believing that, and I was wrong. And maybe I knew that. But I talked myself into thinking that it wasn't real.

But he still loved Roxas. Still missed him. Still cried for him. Even though he was gone, Roxas was haunting Axel.

Demyx: 1. Roxas: 1.

I let him hold me at night. I let him kiss me. I let him do whatever the hell he wanted to me, if only to show him that I cared. And I tried to be perfect for him, to pull his love for Roxas off his shoulders, to smash that love into a thousand million pieces and scatter it into the ocean. I tried, really, really hard. But at night, with his head resting on my shoulder, I could still hear him whisper, "Roxas."

Demyx: 1. Roxas: 2.

And when he left, when he left to go to Twilight Town, I begged him to stay. To stay with me. But no. He didn't. He didn't listen. He had to go and see Roxas. And when he came back, he was more depressed than ever. More broken. All that work, all that I had done with him, all of that was flushed down the drain. Because of one simple glance of Roxas, of one single sentence: "What's going on?" Because, of course, he didn't remember. And even though he didn't remember, Roxas was still deadly enough to shatter all of Axel's emotions and leave them in the dust, like he had the first time.

Demyx: 1. Roxas: 3.

And so, when I was sent to Hollow Bastion to dispose of Sora and his gang, that was why I couldn't beat him. I had given up.

Axel's feelings weren't going anywhere. And I knew that, and it was only then that I had begun to accept it. So the least I could have done, the bare minimum, was to allow Sora - Roxas - and his friends to pass. So that Axel could see him one last time before he died.

Because, hey. Axel was my best friend. What was I gonna do?

Lame ending, yeah. But...don't criticize. Or if you absolutely have to, try to do it lightly. =D

Later.
Skyskater