Harry glared through teary eyes, opened up his mouth, and screamed his displeasure.

Lily sighed wearily, frowned, and flicked his chubby fingers gently when they crept demandingly towards the cookie jar. Utterly devastated, Harry flung himself to the ground in all his two-year-old fury and sobbed. Granted, flicking little fingers with her own was probably not something Dr. Spock would recommend for behavioral modification, but Lily would bet Dr. Spock had never raised a magical child before. It had been a long week nursing Sirius back to coherency. Her patience was fried, she was more tired than she had ever been before, and her darling child had to choose now to decide Mummy needed to cater to his every whim. Needing a few minutes without them underfoot, Lily had buckled the boys securely into their high chairs, turned around to get them a snack, and turned back to find Harry sitting happily on top of the counter eating cookies. How he had gotten there… she had no idea. Lily sent a suspicious look towards Dudley. Her nephew's buckles had mysteriously unlatched, but he had remained sitting in his chair while also munching happily on cookies. A sign of accidental magic, perhaps? Or had Harry unlatched them before his flight for freedom and chocolate? Wearily, Lily picked up the sobbing boy, settled him back into his high chair, and slumped at the table. She would kill for a cup of coffee right now.

Not since the first terror-filled months of being in hiding had Lily been this wary, tired, or drained. She couldn't sleep at all Saturday night. After an hour of poking and prodding, she managed to get Sirius to half-stumble up the stairs, where she promptly stripped him and put him in the shower. Half an hour later, he was put to bed in the guest room. She didn't know what to do to help him! So she did the only thing she could think of – she made chicken noodle soup, tea with spoonfuls of honey to soothe his cough, and fumbled through the medicine cabinet for Tylenol and Vicks VapoRub. Sirius was moaning, tossing and turning on the bed as the fever in his blood consumed him. Sometimes he would open up feverish eyes, reach out and grab her close to his side, sobbing that he was sorry for letting her and James down, begging her not to hate him. Other times he would simply shift into Padfoot and lie there whining and trembling, flinching every time she made any sudden movements.

She soothed him best she could, and then she paced. All the while her hands trembling like she'd been electrocuted. What was she doing? She couldn't let him stay here! Could she? There were two innocent babies sleeping down the hall, and Sirius… and she… but this was Sirius! She couldn't just turn him out, not when he was sick and weakened and half-crazed. Dropping onto the bed beside him, mentally blocking the thought that she was staring at naked flesh, she rubbed Neosporin onto his open cuts and studied his body. Some of the wounds were faded and scarred, wounds she was almost fairly certain were not there before his stint in Azkaban. Had he hurt himself? Had others hurt him – guards, Auror's – while he was sitting in a cell? She knew they hadn't fed him properly, as his ribs stood out in clear relief against his flesh, but had others physically harmed him while in prison? That settled it, she couldn't let him go.

Around three in the morning she had slumped on the couch in the living room, TV quietly providing background noise, drinking tea and fervently longing for a strong cup of coffee. Bloody doctor, banning her from caffeine. Lily took deep breaths, forcing herself to think clearly as she pulled her planner close to her and flipped through her notes. Muggle doctor – check. Dentist? Could be arranged for later in the week. Magical doctor? The boys had been fit in on Thursday morning, so she had to wait to place a star next to that item. There wasn't much she could do on Sunday, but on Monday, she would need to take the paperwork to the bank she had used as Lily Potter and empty the savings account in order to clear Petunia Dursley's account and keep a roof over their heads for another month. So much for starting an account for herself and the boys. That would have to work out later.

Vernon… Lily's hands shook violently as she nibbled on a chocolate digestive, mentally lying to herself over the amount of caffeine in chocolate. Vernon was in the ICU and having surgery on Monday. Why had Sirius done what he did? The divorce papers would be sent out this week and she would look like an absolute cad for abandoning him in his hour of need. But she couldn't remain married to him. And in the week Vernon had been gone, Dudley hadn't asked after him once. This reminded her… she needed to find Dudley's birth certificate and find out his middle name. Who would name their child something that bespoke of stupidity? Dudley… a dud… no, a middle name, any name, would be better to call him by. And starting this young, it would be a well developed habit by the time he started school and allow the boy to hopefully not be picked on. She noted this down on the planner as she swallowed a third cookie. Provided she was still in Surrey when the boys were ready for school. Would she lose the house? Would she…

A picture of Sirius was on the news. Lily blinked, putting down her tea in order to grab the remote and turn up the volume. "…we interrupt this broadcast to bring you this late breaking news. Sirius Black, mass murder, has escaped from his maximum security prison and is at large. He is considered armed and dangerous. There is no word yet over how the break-out occurred, but authorities are launching a full investigation in the matter. If spotted, do not attempt to approach or apprehend the criminal. Call the authorities immediately. Again, mass murderer Sirius Black has escaped…"

Great. Just peachy. She was harboring a criminal wanted by Muggle and magical authorities. She was going to lose her kids, her home, everything, if she was caught. What was she doing? Shoulders slumped with worry and exhaustion she turned off the television, checked on all three of her boys, and stumbled to bed.

Bright and early Sunday morning, Lily cursed herself fluently. She'd severely underestimated the lure of a closed door. It didn't take long for Lily to realize that little boys who had been allowed free reign over their home thought it great fun to try and sneak upstairs to find out what Mummy was hiding. While the boys ate, she crushed Bouillon cubes and mixed it with hot water to create broth, and heated more soup. Locking the door behind her, Lily entered the guest room and valiantly ignored the jiggling of the handle as she soothed Sirius and drugged him again. When the boys went down for a nap, instead of being able to sleep with them she had to get Sirius into the tub for a lukewarm bath to bring down his temperature, clean up vomit, change the sheets on the bed, force more broth and soup into him, and drug him. By the time he was asleep again, the boys were up and clamoring to go to the park. And thus the day passed in a tired haze.

Monday she left the house and went to the Muggle bank she had used as Lily Potter, sad to forego her plan of starting saving accounts for them all and simply cashing out the account with a bitter smile. Going to the bank the Dursley's banked at, she brought the checking account to a positive balance, finished signing the paperwork that would officially remove Vernon from the house, and had enough money left over to go to the grocery store and stock up on food and medicine. She didn't bother getting petrol, as she wasn't certain she could legally drive the car after next week. Home again, she called Dr. Stevens to reschedule her follow-up appointment, fed the boys, and rushed to check on Sirius. And thus another day passed.

Tuesday started off on a new note, as neither of the boys had soiled their diapers in the night and used the potty in the morning. Sirius' fever had broken around one in the morning, and he hadn't thrown up once since then. Pleased that something was going right, Lily made breakfast with a smile on her face and danced around the kitchen. It wasn't until she was setting plates of food aside to cool that she realized the boys weren't in the living room playing. With a feeling of dread, she rushed through the house and up the stairs… to find that the door to the guest room had vanished and the boys were sitting on the bed talking to Sirius.

Harry turned when he heard her in the doorway, a bright smile lighting his face. "Mama! Yookit! Yookit, Mama! Padfoot!"

"Yes, baby, I see."

Sirius looked up at her, giving a weak smile as he continued running a hand through Harry's soft hair. "He Vanished the door, Lils." His voice was hoarse from disuse and his lingering illness, his face flushed with fever and pride. "Two years old and he can vanish a door."

Lily sat down in the doorway, her legs giving out as the magnitude of the situation hit her. Harry was a strong wizard, stronger than any child she had ever known. It wasn't normal that a child could ward things, levitate multiple objects, and vanish a door on a whim. She needed to get a job, but how could she? Harry wouldn't be safe in a daycare until he was old enough to learn to control his magic. And when would that be? When he was four? Five? Ten? How could she get a job and leave the house for hours on end? Who would watch the kids? Miss Figg? Gaia? Sirius?

And speaking of Harry… how badly was he affected by the curse he rebounded that Halloween night? He had been a regular baby beforehand, albeit a bit precocious. He hadn't hesitated to summon cookies, had warded the bedroom to avoid taking a bath, and liked to animate his toys to play with him. But she had been watching him closely since he came to the Dursley's. She knew there were times when he had activated a sort-of Muggle Repelling Charm to keep Vernon and Petunia away from his cupboard. The nights when she had sat up with him as he cried himself to sleep, neither her sister nor Vernon had commented on his choking sobs. Had he silenced the cupboard? And he'd seemed able to heal himself, bruises and scrapes and cuts, at an expedited rate. Was that normal for a baby? She'd been separated from Alice and Molly for so long, the only magical baby she was familiar with was Harry. How do you judge your own child, when you instinctively believe they are perfect and amazing? Was Harry's magical core affected by deflecting the killing curse? Lily studied her son. He looked happy and healthy and strong. But he had barely tapped into his magic while with the Dursley's, yet had rebounded almost instantaneously upon Lily's arrival. What was next? Apparrating by himself?

On the bed, Dudley was giggling as Harry laughingly climbed over Sirius. Wanting to play, he held out both hands, a look of fierce concentration on his face, and made the cup of chicken broth on the bedside table rise in the air slightly before it tipped over and splashed Sirius in the face. Sirius laughed so hard he choked and began coughing. Harry giggled, bouncing on Sirius' chest and clapping for his cousin. "Yeah, Duddy!" Dudley smiled shyly, ducking his head, and turned to Lily. She couldn't move, seemingly frozen in the doorway, a look of utter shock on her face. Dudley stopped smiling, a look of fear crossing his face. With a whimper, he threw himself off the bed, cowering in the corner and covering his face with his hands.

"S'ok, Duddy!" Harry looked distressed, his little face crumpling. He turned trusting eyes to Sirius, silently imploring him to make it better.

Lily nodded to herself, wearily grabbing the door frame and pulling herself to her feet. She knelt next to Dudley, reaching out a gentle hand to stroke his hair. How could she have missed this? Dudley reacted like an abused child at her reaction to his using magic? Was he a wizard as well? How could she have missed this! Was Petunia so embittered over not being allowed to go to Hogwarts that she was willing to take it out of her own son? No wonder Dudley had been so afraid of her in the beginning – one of the first things she had done was make the peach explode. Was he waiting for her to punish him for accidental magic? Is that why he was playing so nicely with Harry now? Because Harry wasn't being punished for his accidental magic and so Dudley felt… safer? Dare she even ask what could possibly happen next, or would that simply be providing fate with a surplus of temptation? "Ssh. Ssh, Dudley, it's ok. You're ok. No one is going to be upset with you for something you can't control." Dudley was still crying softly, wriggling around on her lap in a futile attempt to get away from her. Lily's arms tightened instinctively. "It's ok, magic is a gift. You have a gift, sweetie, that doesn't make you bad." Lily felt tears gather in her own tired eyes. There was something very wrong with holding her sister's child in her arms while he cried, and hearing her own baby's delighted giggles as he played with his Godfather.

Sirius was able to hobble out of bed, and spent time in the backyard watching the boys play while Lily made a futile attempt to clean the house. Not having the energy to cook, they rang for pizza for dinner and let the boys fall asleep in front of the television. Lily smiled down at the boys asleep on the carpet, absurdly grateful for the peaceful afternoon and evening, before covering them gently with a fleece throw. She turned to ask Sirius if he wanted a cup of tea or something to nibble on, and offered a puzzled smile when she saw him lounging in the doorway, arms crossed across his chest, gazing at her with an odd look in his eye. It was such a familiar pose that she walked closer to him and playfully punched him in the shoulder, a sassy comment on the tip of her tongue. "Move in with me, Lils." His voice was low, hypnotic, one hand coming up to gently brush the hair off her face. Her smiled faded away to nothing. "Let me help you, let me help Harry and Dudley." He moved closer, one hand sliding around her waist and pulling her into a loose hug.

Lily's head was spinning. She was so confused. It was like when he first arrived – what she felt she should do, balanced against the fact that Sirius was her friend. "But Sirius, you're a murderer. You went out and did what they accused you of." She was ashamed that her voice was weak and lacked conviction, dropping her head onto his shoulder in an attempt to hide. But how could she outright tell him no? She was as terrified of Harry's growing magical talent as she was of Dudley's budding magical ability. She missed her husband, missed the comfort of having someone she trusted to lean on when the world felt too muddled. But was Sirius a safe alternative? Could she relax enough to trust him? Clearly, on some level she already did or she would have evicted him from her home. "How could we ever have a normal life?"

His arm tightened around her, his response lost as the shrill ringing of the telephone interrupted their bubble. Lily broke away from the embrace and hurried into the kitchen to answer before the ringing woke the boys. "He.." her voice was husky with suppressed tears. She took a deep breath, cleared her throat, and tried again. "Hello?"

"Pet?" She winced at the nickname. "Pet, it's Margie."

"Marge?" Why would Marge be calling this late? "Has something happened to Vernon?"

"Oh, Pet." Marge blew her nose in the background. "Vernie survived his surgery, but he's slipped into a coma."

"A coma?" Across the room Sirius flinched, a sick expression on his face. "How did that happen?"

"They're not terribly certain, Pet. Head trauma was the excuse they gave me, but we can't be certain. Apparently they ran some kind of Glasgow Scale on him and he registered as a one."

"A one?" Lily turned her back to Sirius, wrapping one arm protectively around her waist. What did this mean for the future of her family?

"He doesn't respond to anything. No light, or voices, or pain." Marge gave a muffled sob. "The doctors say he could wake up within days or weeks, they just don't know. I wanted you to know." Her voice turned bitter. "Not that you care, you ungrateful hussy. Didn't even call yesterday to check up on him after you knew he was having surgery…"

"Yes, thank you, Marge. I'll call and check on him tomorrow. Good night, now." Lily hung up the phone before Marge could say anything else, her hand lingering on the smooth plastic. She was trembling again, she noted dully. One seemingly innocuous phone call, one reminder of the life she now led, and her nerves were shot to hell. She could sense Sirius standing uncertainly behind her, picking up on her changing emotions and trying to gauge the best reply in advance. God how she wished James was here right now. "Sirius, how could you do that?"

"I had to, Lils!" Sirius ran a hand through his long hair, looking frustrated and worried. "Vernon was hurting you! You needed money and a safe place to go. I'm James' best friend and Harry's Godfather! It's my job to protect you however I can!"

"But, Sirius!" Lily lowered her voice, not wanting to wake the boys. "You have money. Your Uncle Alvin left you some."

"Alphard," he corrected automatically. "Uncle Alphard. And it wasn't that much money, Lils. I bought a house with that money, but I sold it when I went through that career crisis when I was twenty. Didn't you wonder why I was practically living with you and James before you went into hiding and then bummed over on Remus' couch?"

"Well, yes, but," Lily trailed off. "You burned through your money that quickly?"

"Look, I'm not proud of that fact, but I had a lot of fun doing it." He grinned at her, smile fading at her look of distress. "Lils, I had to keep you safe, had to help you any way I could. I only had a couple thousand Galleons of my own and no safe place for you to go. But now," he moved forward, gripping her arms as he spoke to her earnestly. "Now, I have a house. It's not much, but it's untraceable and unplottable. It's safe for you and Harry and Dudley to live there. And now with my crazy mother gone, I hold the reigns to the entire Black fortune. You won't need for money at all!"

"Sirius, it's not about the money! Well, not entirely. It's about independence! I wasn't made to be inactive. I like working! And it's important for the boys to be around others, to interact with children and adults, to learn and grow and develop. And what about Vernon?"

"What about him?"

"He'll be home from the hospital eventually and will fight me for Dudley. In the eyes of the law I will have no job, no viable means to support myself, yet a suspicious inflow of money that may or may not get me investigated by the SIS! What then?"

"By the what?"

"The secret service, Sirius! The Muggle law enforcement!"

"So don't tell them where you're getting the money!"

"I have to pay taxes!"

"Lils…" Frustrated, he clenched his hands into fists and smacked his skull. Lily went and put the kettle on for tea in order to have something to do with her hands. "Look, I'm sorry, OK? I'm sorry. I wasn't exactly thinking straight at the time and it seemed like the best way to keep you happy and healthy. I love you Lils, you know I do. I spent the last couple months remembering what you looked like when I pulled you from the rubble. Ever read Macbeth?"

Lily placed the tea kettle on the table and laid out cups. "What does Shakespeare have to do with anything?"

"Out damn spot, out I say." He smiled wearily, slumping into the seat next to her. "I washed the blood off Harry's face when I found him. I held him, and rocked him, and I found James and you and… I can still feel his blood on my hands." He looked at her, gray eyes desperate and begging for understanding. "I can feel Harry's blood on my hands, feel it, smell it… I will do anything and everything in my power to wash the blood away and if that means taking out the great lump Dursley and getting my bitchy mother out of the picture, I'll do it. Anything, Lils. You can ask anything of me and I'll do it."

"But, Sirius," Lily sat weakly into a chair at the table. "I never wanted you to become a murderer. You've become guilty of the crime they committed you for. How is that helpful for me and Harry?"

Troubled, unable or unwilling to spoil their first pleasant night together, they dropped the subject and went to their separate beds for the night. For the first time since assuming Petunia's identity, Lily pulled Harry and Dudley into the master bedroom with her for the night. She lay there for a long time in the dark, listening to their breathing, the weight of her unfinished conversation with Sirius nearly smothering her, before falling into a troubled and restless sleep.

Wednesday morning Lily left the boys with Miss Figg, took Sirius' vault key, and crept into Diagon Alley. After procuring a large amount of wizarding and Muggle currency, she went shopping. First thing first, she bought an owl. With Harry showing such advanced magic, and Dudley showing the beginning strains of a magical child, she had no choice but to remain in the magical world. It was unavoidable. What if the boys needed to be taken to St. Mungo's? What if there was an emergency? No, the amount of her involvement could be severely limited, but she would need a way to contact the outside world other than relying on Miss Figg's Floo. Stopping by Flourish and Blots, she ordered some easy-to-read books, some comprehensive books for her, signed up for a parenting support class, and picked up some toddler-appropriate games and toys. Several of them Harry had owned as an infant, but it wouldn't hurt to start Dudley off with a couple. One last stop at the Apothecary to stock up on Potions ingredients, and she was done.

The first thing she did in the Muggle world was fill her car halfway with Petrol. Clearly, her limited optimism hadn't counted on her needing her vehicle for the next few days. That done, she went to the grocery store and stocked up on non-perishable items and fresh fruits and vegetables. With a reminiscent sigh, she tossed in a few different types of tea, replenished her medical supplies, and hurried home. The boys were antsy, having been cooped up in the house for almost a week, so she walked them to the park and let them run, watching them intently. Harry was smaller than Dudley. Tinier, lighter, but quick on his feet and remarkable agile. Lily smiled over how much he resembled his father more and more everyday. Dudley was stockier, heavier, slower to move and slightly clumsy on his feet. Was this a product of his upbringing? Troubled, Lily hurried the boys' home for a late snack. Sirius hadn't seemed the least bit perturbed about Lily using his money, so she didn't bother to apologize for taking it. Nor did she tell him the recipient of the owl she sent off.

Which brought them to the present. Lily had managed to nap with the boys and woke up cheerful. Both of the boys, however, had been awakened by Sirius howling from his nightmares, and woke up cranky and irritable. Lily reached out and smoothed Dudley's hair back. "That's a very good boy, darling, staying in your high chair. But you mustn't continue to unlock the clasps. It's not safe for little boys to be unstrapped in their high chairs." Dudley smiled up at her warily, choosing to possessively grip his cookie and suck on his sippy cup rather than reply.

Harry had no such qualms. "Cookie!" he roared, tears streaming down his red face, kicking his feet angrily against his stifling high chair.

Lily sighed. "Harry, you must eat a proper meal. Because you threw such a fit, you get no cookies today. You can try again tomorrow, and it you're a good boy you get a cookie after lunch."

Harry glared at her, crossing his arms angrily over his chest. A second later, he vanished from the kitchen, Sirius' accompanying bark of laughter proof enough over where her son had disappeared to. "Great," she muttered to herself, wiping down Dudley's sticky hands and removing him from his high chair. "He's apparrating at the age of two. Terrific. What's next? Getting someone pregnant at twelve? I'll kill him." Still muttering under her breath, Lily fetched her fussy son and bundled both boys into the car for their doctor appointments.

Two hours later, Lily sat on a padded chair in her doctor's office, holding onto a sleeping Harry and wondering impatiently why Dudley's examination was taking so much longer than Harry's did. She turned in relief when the door opened, smiling at the round face of the doctor she had always entrusted Harry's medical care with. Dr. Caritas had a round face, sparkling blue eyes, and a balding head of gray hair. Growing up as a Squib in a traditional Pureblood household, he'd managed to create one of the most elite medical facilities open to the magical world. However, his policy of hiring both Squibs and Muggleborn witches and wizards severely limited the amount of traffic his facility received.

"Mrs. Dursley?"

Lily startled slightly at the man's reserved and polite air. He had always been affectionate towards Lily Potter. It took a moment to realize he's never met Petunia Dursley before. "Yes, Sir." They shook hands politely. "Where's my son, Dr. Caritas?"

"With one of my assistants, sleeping off some medication in one of the exam rooms."

"What?" Lily turned and frowned at the door, unconsciously tightening her hold on Harry, before turning back to the doctor. "Why did you need to medicate Dudley and not Harry?"

Dr. Caritas smiled down at the sleeping toddler for a moment before resolutely opening the two files in front of him. "Let's just discuss that, shall we? We'll start with young Mr. Potter. Right now he is a perfectly healthy two-year-old, as I'm sure your regular physician told you when he had his appointment last week. On a Muggle front, he is adapting and growing at a healthy rate and responds very well to outside stimulus. His small motor and large motor control is perfectly in line for his age group, his reflexology is strong, and an EEG revealed no damage to his brain from the curse he received." Lily smiled down at her sleeping son, affectionately brushing his messy black curls off his forehead. The doctor smiled at the gesture before continuing.

"Magical scans, however, have revealed a few peculiarities." Lily paled. "Comparing imagery of Harry before that Halloween night, may the Potter's rest in peace, we have determined that the shape of Harry's eyes have changed since he survived the curse directed towards him."

Lily blinked. "What does that mean?"

"It means there is a possibility Harry will need to begin Vision Correction Potions soon, and may require glasses as he ages if the treatments are unsuccessful. Furthermore," here the doctor hesitated, flicking an anxious look at the baby. "Mrs. Dursley, you must understand that I have nothing but the greatest affection for Harry's late parents. I became James Potter's physician when he was roughly Harry's age. Anything that occurs in these offices is guaranteed confidentiality."

"Ok." Lily shifted nervously, glancing down in alarm as Harry muttered in his sleep and cuddled closer.

Dr. Caritas smoothed a hand over the file before him. "An initial scanning of Harry's magical core showed quite a bit of scar tissue." He held up a hand for silence as Lily opened her mouth. "A more thorough scan was then conducted. Before the… incident on Halloween, Harry's aura… well, first, let me explain about auras. The Human Energy Field is a collection of electro-magnetic energies of varying densities that permeate the physical body of a living person. These particles of energy are suspended around the healthy human body in an oval shaped field. This "auric egg" emits out from the body approximately 2-3 feet on all sides. It extends above the head and below the feet into the ground. The aura consists of seven levels, and each one of the subtle bodies that exist around the physical body has its own unique frequency. They are interrelated, and affect one another and the person's feelings, emotions, thinking, behavior, and health as well. Therefore a state of imbalance in one of the bodies leads to a state of imbalance in the others."

He paused briefly, seemingly steeling himself to continue. "At present, Harry's aura is an interesting conglomeration of colors. There are streaks of clear red, representing someone who is powerful, energetic, competitive, sexual, and passionate. A healthy orange-red, telling of confidence and creative power. Gold swirls, the color of enlightenment and divine protection, that when seen within the aura implies the person is being guided by their highest good. It is divine guidance, protection, wisdom, inner knowledge, intuitive thinking. All of this is wonderful and speaks of someone becoming a wonderfully strong and kind adult wizard. However, there are also streaks of black in Harry's aura, which, I admit, has me more than slightly concerned."

"Black?" Lily's mind was racing. "Black like the Dark Arts?"

"Not precisely, Mrs. Dursley." Dr. Caritas paused again. "A black aura draws or pulls energy to it, and in doing so, transforms it. It captures light and consumes it. Usually, black indicates long-term unforgiveness towards others or another and in Harry's case is collected in a specific area of his body."

Lily wanted to cry. "His scar?"

The doctor nodded. "Indeed. Black aura also reflects entities within a person's body, such as past life hurts or unreleased grief. It is… more than unusual that someone of Harry's age would have black in their aura."

"Past life hurts?" Lily was whispering again, tears beginning to gather in her eyes. "Did Voldemort do something to him?" She ignored the flinch that accompanied the hated name.

"It is a possibility," he admitted quietly, "but something I do not currently have the resources to explore. You would need someone with extensive knowledge of Dark Arts in order to test this knowledge." Dr. Caritas studied the lightly trembling woman before him and wished he had some positive news to give her today. "I will, of course, assist you in any way I can."

Lily head was starting to pound, tension manifesting itself in her body through a stress headache. Desperately searching for a topic change, she whispered, "and Dudley?"

The doctor accepted the topic change with a slight inclination of his head. "Dudley's aura is substantially different than Harry's. The predominant colors in his aura are pastels, a sensitive blend of light and colors, more so than basic colors. This shows sensitivity to stimulus, and a need for serenity in his life and surroundings. There is also a strong vein of bright lemon-yellow, which indicated that Dudley is struggling to maintain power and control, and fears losing control. Most alarming, however, is the dark and muddy gray swirling about in his aura. Like black, dark gray represents a residue of fear accumulating in the body, with a potential for health problems, especially if gray clusters are seen in a specific area of the body. Mrs. Dursley…" he trailed off briefly. "May I ask you a few questions about your son?"

Baffled, tired, Lily simply nodded her head in resignation and wished desperately for a bracing cup of coffee. Dr. Caritas smiled briefly. "Did you notice excessive and rapid weight gain in Dudley occurring after the age of one?"

Lily blinked, trying to find a way to answer that question. Technically, as Petunia Dursley she was Dudley's mother, but she hadn't met the child until he was sixteen months old. Though he did tend to eat a lot and was a wide little boy. "Yes."

The doctor nodded. "Are you aware of your son's distinctive facial features? The almond-shaped eyes and small-appearing mouth with thin upper lip and down-turned corners of mouth?

"Yes."

"Have you noticed that his hands and feet are not proportionate to the rest of his body? That they appear smaller and a bit delicate looking?"

"Erm… yes. But Vernon has that, too. I figured he took after him?"

"A logical assumption," he reassured. "Just a few more questions, please." Lily nodded bemusedly. "Have you noticed characteristic behavior problems such as temper tantrums, violent outbursts, obsessive/compulsive behavior, a tendency to be argumentative, oppositional, rigid, manipulative, possessive, and stubborn, perseverating, stealing, and lying?"

"He's been rather coddled all his life. I… I guess I see some of that, but I figured it was because he was easily spoiled. I mean, he's little more than a baby. Are you saying it's something to worry about?"

Dr. Caritas sighed. "After having an associate complete several in-depth magical scans, I believe young Dudley has a variation of a little known developmental disability known as Prader-Willi Syndrome. This syndrome induces urges of hyperphagia, or an abnormal increase in appetite. The urge to eat is physiological and totally overwhelming. The risk of obesity results not only because individuals with PWS have an insatiable appetite, but because they also burn less calories than others due to low muscle mass and inactivity. Unless their diet is carefully controlled, weight gain can be very rapid leading not only to obesity, but to disease and early death as well. Motor skills are usually 1 to 2 years behind due to the hypotonia. Balance, strength, coordination and motor planning are often affected. Areas in which Dudley may have difficulties are with attention, short-term auditory memory, and abstract thinking. However, he does exhibit strengths in the areas of long-term memory and receptive language."

Stunned, Lily absently patted Harry's back and stared at the doctor. Dudley had a developmental disorder? What did that mean? Obviously, she understood the facts he was spouting at her, but, really, what did it mean to her, to them, to the familial unit she was attempting to create? "So…" she trailed off lamely, looking away from the doctor to gather herself before trying again. "So, what does this mean for Dudley? Is there a strict potion regiment I need to put him on?" Her heart beat increased when the doctor's kind-looking face crinkled up in a frown.

"Unfortunately, there is no cure for PWS, nor is there a drug that is universally prescribed to treat all symptoms. However, there are methods of managing some of the symptoms. For example, synthetic growth hormones can be used to treat children who are determined to be growth hormone deficient. In terms of the obesity factor, during the pre-school years, ages 2-5 years, a restrictive diet can be maintained to prevent extreme weight gain and an exercise program should begin as early as possible. And, for some individuals, psychotropic drugs may be used to help with some of the behaviors commonly seen in individuals with PWS, although positive behavior management is a preferred alternative. We'll need to set up appointments for Dudley to be examined by physical therapists, occupational therapists, behaviorists, and speech/language instructors." He offered a comforting smile. "It's good that you noticed the signs early and got him in so fast. We can get started on a plan for him right away, which significantly increases the prospect of Dudley living a full and rich lifestyle."

Lily was in a daze as she thanked the doctor, collected Dudley, and strapped the two sleepy toddlers into their car seats. She got lost twice on her drive back to Privet Drive, so distracted by the thoughts running through her mind. Everything, no matter how seemingly inconsequential at the time, tended to boil down to one thing. Magic. She couldn't run from it, she couldn't escape it, but she couldn't embrace it whole-heartedly either. Magic was responsible for the death of her husband and her real body. Magic had turned her son into a walking Bulls Eye for Dark magic. Magic had helped her take over her sister's dying body and given her a second chance to raise her son. Magic was surrounding the house on Privet Drive, providing safety to Harry through the wards, and allowing a safe place for Sirius to heal. Magic had the potential to significantly improve her children's life.

But… why was she hesitating so deeply over the decision to embrace the magical world. Why had she been so comfortable sending the boys to Gaia overnight, yet didn't leave the boys with Miss Figg or Molly Weasley for more than a few hours? Lily shifted, signaling for a left turn automatically, and frowned at the tentative conclusion she had come up with. Was it Dumbledore? Was she afraid of Dumbledore? No, not afraid. Leery. Distrustful. It was justifiable, truly. Dumbledore had suggested the use of the Fidelius Charm that ripped apart her family, and hadn't done anything to help Sirius once he'd been incarcerated. Why hadn't he pushed for a trial? She didn't blame Dumbledore for placing Harry with her sister. Petunia, after all, was Harry's closest living blood relative. It made sense legally. But he'd never checked on him once in nine months. Not even to make sure there were no residual effects of Harry reflecting the Avada Kadavra curse. Had he realized Harry would be altered magically and physically? Muggle doctors wouldn't catch the change, only a trained specialist would have detected it. Was Dumbledore hoping Harry would be impacted… made weaker and more malleable? She respected Albus Dumbledore, thought him a great leader, but did she trust him with the welfare of her son?

And now Dudley. What would have happened to Harry growing up in Dudley's shadow? She knew her sister, had received an honest impression of her from the Muggle doctor last week. Would Petunia have believed there was anything less than perfect about her son? Would she have regulated his meals, planned an exercise regiment, met with specialist? Or would she have convinced herself the world was wrong and continued to indulge her baby with anything he wanted?

Sirius was offering her an out. He was offering her a magical residence that was untraceable and unplottable. Money. A house elf to help with the cooking and cleaning. Safety, security, confidentiality, companionship, help. Should she take it? Could she take it? Just disappear with Harry and Dudley, get them the treatments they needed, the help to grow strong. But Sirius wasn't her husband… and his fluctuating emotions didn't speak of strong mental strength. Was he the type of person she wanted her children to see as a role model and care taker?

Deeply distressed and no clearer in her thoughts, Lily let the boys into the house and out into the backyard. A quick peek showed her that Sirius was sleeping, wadded up tissues and half-full glasses of juice spread out around him. She rolled her eyes at the sight, reflecting slightly bitterly that it would be she who cleaned up the mess, and entered the kitchen to start dinner. The boys were laughing, tumbling and playing together in the backyard. Harry's eyes were bright and clear, a smile dominating his face, as he chased his cousin around the backyard. Dudley was laughing, belly-deep laughs that made his little body seem to vibrate with mirth. He was running from Harry, his chubby legs pumping furiously, only to trip and go sprawling onto the grass. Harry landed next to him, and the two rolled and giggled before getting up to chase the neighbor's cat. They looked so innocent. So happy. So normal.

Stop. Lily shook her head, wiping tears from her eyes as she pulled ingredients out of the fridge with trembling hands. They were normal. Just because Dudley needed to have a special diet… well, so did Diabetics, right? The family could adapt and make it work. And simply because Harry had scar tissue around his magical core… well, he wasn't a squib and somebody would know what to do to help him, right? Right? Yes, they could make this work, but she mustn't start treating them like they were fragile, or different, because that would cause more harm than good. Wiping tears from her eyes, Lily repeated that to herself until the doorbell interrupted her silent reflection. She checked on the boys, now digging up the garden and burying their G.I. Joes, before wiping her hands on a towel and leaving the kitchen.

Severus Snape stood on the door step in flowing black teaching robes, a disdainful sneer on his face and arms crossed protectively over his chest. For one hysterical moment, Lily wanted to laugh and tell her old friend how much he resembled her two-year-old when he had thrown a tantrum over cookies the day before. Thankfully, common sense kicked in, and she was able to mumble a distracted, "Severus?" before taking a half-step towards him.

A single eyebrow arched in response, black eyes sweeping over the exposed hall-way and back to Lily standing pale-faced and trembling before him. "Mrs. Dursley," he finally drawled coldly. "I have come to inform you…"

He never got to finish. For Lily had just realized that the very reason they had ended their friendship revolved around Dark Arts and bigoted ideals. Severus knew the Dark Arts, probably to an extent he could make successful predictions about Harry's disorder, if not help him outright. And Severus was a Potion Master. Who better to make the potions both boys would need in the future? She was aware that the man before her was speaking, but there was an odd ringing noise in her ears as relief and the realization she was not alone flooded through her. Without though, she stepped forward and threw herself into his arms.

Severus Snape went absolutely rigid, making no move whatsoever to unclench his arms from around his own chest. Lily didn't care. Severus smelled like Potions and pumpkin juice and parchment. He smelled familiar. And holding onto the tense body before her, Lily began to cry in earnest. "Oh, Severus. My babies are broken. Please, please, help me!"

"Your…" Nonplussed, the man trailed off, finally unclenching one hand long enough to pat her stiffly on the head before shoving her away from him.

Lily staggered backwards, one hand reaching out to brace herself against the wall. She smiled tearfully, wondering absently if she should invite him in off the front porch,

HPHPHP

Hello! Guess what? I'm still alive! Sorry for the delay in updates, but life has been busy and Mini-Me just turned seven. One more slow update and then we will go back to regularly scheduled bouts of insanity. Promise.

1. I know I promised Severus in this chapter, but next chapter proves to be rather explosive – literally – and this seemed like a good stopping point to this one. No, I will remain truthful to my pledge and there will be no sappy instant forgive-and-forget on both their parts. They're going to duke it out, and it will not be resolved in one chapter, though tentative progress will be made. If you're wondering how I am going to accomplish that yet keep the chapter explosive… well, simply remember our favorite Manic Depressive currently sleeping upstairs. Heh.

2. I waffled quite a bit on Lily's soliloquies here. I didn't want the Magic vs. No Magic debate to seem repetitive, but I based her reaction off of mine. When proposing life changes, I don't think on it once and make a decision. I replay it in my mind, over-analyze it, analyze my over-analyzations, and sometimes continue to second guess myself until after the transition is complete. However, in fan fiction, this comes across as a weakened character and a waste of space. So I edited it to make it seem true to the situation, yet not drone on needlessly. I don't want Lily to seem weak, or helpless, or bubble-headish, but real. And real people who have been hit with one thing after another need a few days - or chapters - to collect themselves before they can move on. Yes? Hope you all don't get too flustered by the end result.

3. Harry. No, Harry will not be super-powerful, Merlin-heir, the second coming of Christ. He will, however, be a strong wizard. After all, in Canon, they tell us Voldemort put a portion of his soul in Harry. How could this NOT have affected him until right before the final battle fight-wise or fifth-year emotion-wise? I don't buy it. I think there were hints all along, such as the ability to turn his teacher's hair blue and apparrating at age seven, but he was suppressed to such a point by his upbringing that he never reached his full potential. Well, his mother is there, which makes him feel confident and secure. And she took him to a doctor who knew what to look for. Yes, Harry was mis-diagnosed, but take into account how many attempted Horcrux-makings the doctor had seen before. Wild guess. The doctor did the best he could, and saw the black aura and odd-results to be scar tissue. Whether or not this will be corrected… will be seen once Harry has aged.

4. Dudley. In the first book, he has to squint and mentally process how much 36 + 2 is. He is abnormally large, prone to violent tempers, and has trouble interacting on the correct social level. Rowling may be content to leave him as is, with barely any redemption to speak of, but I need a reason why this behavior is so consistent through the books with no differing growth and development. Personally, I always thought that in the fifth book, the Dementors trapped him inside his own mind and made him relive the sensation of losing control over your body or mind. Can you imagine perpetually feeling helpless? Plus, I rather like the thought of what could happen were Harry and Dudley protective of each other. By the way, the affliction is real, and I've done quite a bit of research on the matter. He won't be cured by magic, but he will be helped by Muggle and magical means to a less-intense result.

5. To live on Privet Drive, or not to live on Privet Drive. That is the question. And I have ideas that go both ways so VOTE and tell me what you think.

6. For all those who are begging me not to forget Moony… I haven't. Swear. But he's slightly delayed at the moment.

7. No, the story will not continue with Harry at age two for long. But there are SO MANY THINGS that need to be resolved before I can move the story forward. It's getting to – not THE pivotal opening point, but A pivotal opening point – that I will probably keep them in this current time frame until after Christmas, and then skips a few months so the story doesn't grow stagnant. All the concerns you have? Believe me: I have them and then some.

Whew! Sorry for the long Authors Note, but it's been awhile and I couldn't keep track of all the reviews and PM's. Again, one more slow update, hopefully by next week, and then back to my regular speed of updates. Thanks for hanging in there!

(Blows kisses to all)

Roo