A/n: Hey all, sorry for the long wait! I had to type this on a school computer and a friend's computer, and Nikki typed a lot of it. She's the one who came up with the end, so if you don't like it, yell at her! Have fun!

Eventually Itachi figured out Sasori had left and found Deidara. Hidan growled something about cooling his head and left Itachi and Deidara alone. Deidara sighed in relief, until the dreaded question came: "What happened at the cello concerto?" But the story, despite multiple bruises, a broken heart, it had a free dinner, so it ended well.

"That's such a long story, un," he sighed, laying his head in Itachi's lap as they sat on the couch. "It all started when the cello player broke his arm…"

Pein surveyed the orchestra. Damn. This was not supposed to happen. The cellist was not supposed to get hit by a car. Now who would play for the first fucking half of their show? Sighing, he walked over to the first cellist. "Can you play this?" he murmured, putting a piece of music on her stand. The young woman turned pale and like she was about to puke.

"Um…"

"Never mind. You can't." Sighing, Pein took the piece and went off to find his last resort. Quickly, he set off to the violin section. All he found was Orochimaru. "Where's Deidara?" he asked. Orochimaru glowered.

"Fucking Sasori somewhere," he replied moodily.

"Where?"

"Backstage, probably."

"Thank you." Pein walked quickly to the backstage area and was mentally scarred from finding Sasori pinning Deidara to the nearest table and doing some pretty heavy duty make out. Sighing, he cleared his throat. "Deidara?" Sighing, the blond pushed Sasori off of him, wiping his mouth.

"Shit, Saso-sweetie, you've probably got my lipstick all over you, un," he said, smiling.

"Deidara, pay attention!" Pein snapped his fingers in front of Deidara's face. The blond turned to him.

"Oh. Right, yeah. What's up, un?"

"When was the last time you played a cello?" Deidara blinked.

"That's not a euphemism for sleeping with one, is it, un?"

"No, I mean the instrument."

"Three years ago when I played with Yo-Yo Ma, I managed to talk him into letting me play his cello, yeah."

"Could you play this?" Pein held up the piece. Deidara glanced at it, smiling.

"Of course, darling, un," he said. "In fact… I've played something like this before…" Deidara picked up the piece and looked it over closely. "Just as I figured, un. Personally, I think it would be better to take this part and bring it down an octave, and then-" quickly, Deidara glanced at Sasori. "Um, yeah, I can play it, but I don't see why I should have to, yeah."

"Our cellist won't be able to make it."

"Oh. In that case, I have a lovely, sight readable ditty in my back pocket, I think that might replace-"

"No. You're going to play the cello concerto." Deidara grinned.

"Ok, yeah!" Sasori was looking quite peeved by now. Once Deidara accepted, he threw his arms into the air and stomped off.

"What was that about?" Pein asked.

"Sasori's a prick, yeah."

"As long as you can play the concerto, I could care less about your personal life." Deidara gave Pein a sultry look.

"But what if my personal life concerns the cello concerto, un?" Pein rolled his eyes and turned to leave. But then he remembered something, and turned to Deidara.

"That black lipstick had better be gone by the time the concert starts, and that annoying ponytail has got to go."

"Will do, boss, un!" Deidara said happily, giving Pein a wink and walking off, swaying his hips. Pein rolled his eyes, leaving to go make sure everything else was in order.

Sasori was beyond pissed. He was angrier than a Republican who couldn't find anything wrong with Bill Clinton. He was angrier than a Brittney fan at the height of the Brittney bashing scandal. Steam was coming out of his ears, almost. There Deidara was, sight reading a cello concerto with ease, and even taking his eyes off the music to smile radiantly at Pein. Sasori wasn't the only one who was angry. Orochimaru shared his anger, and Deidara's stand partner as well. It wasn't Deidara's place to exercise his inane ability to completely outshine everyone around him. Sasori would have to put a stop to this.

"Deidara," Sasori growled, catching the blond after the show. Deidara had somehow managed to get changed into a loose pair of jeans and a tight black shirt. He turned, smiling, to Sasori. "What the hell was that all about?"

"Was what about, un?"

"Showing everybody up!" Sasori cried. "You're second stand, you can't just get up and sight read a cello concerto!"

"But I just did, un."

"I know why Pein let you play it," Sasori growled. "You slept with him, didn't you?" Deidara giggled. "What the hell is so funny?"

"Your face is the same color as your hair, un!" he snickered. Sasori, fuming, reached out and slapped the blond across the face, with enough force to make him spin. Deidara put a hand to his cheek, eyes wide. Without much further ado, he grabbed the back of Sasori's hair, bringing the redhead's face to his knee. Sasori tackled Deidara to the ground, throwing a punch to his gut.

They were fighting, and then they were kissing, mouths doing the battling. And it was a battle Sasori knew he could win. Quickly, he pulled Deidara into a nearby closet, pressing the blond against the wall. Deidara wrapped himself expertly around Sasori. He was begging, pleading for Sasori to just shag him senseless. And Sasori did just that, pushing in without any preparation. Deidara held back a scream and pressed their mouths together.

Once Sasori had emptied himself, he pulled out. Deidara sighed slightly, and Sasori looked down in horror. A dribble of blood had followed his exit, along with his sperm. "Deidara, I-" Deidara launched himself at Sasori, holding him desperately. He hadn't come; he hadn't even been hard. Sasori held him tenderly, allowing him to recuperate. Finally, he let go of Sasori, shakily getting to his feet and pulling up his pants. Sasori shot to his feet and wrapped his arms around the blond, holding him close. "Deidara, I didn't realize I was hurting you." Deidara said nothing for a long moment.

"You needed to, un," he said quietly. Sasori spun the blond around, looking him in the eye.

"What the hell?" Deidara sighed.

"You're no better than the rest of them, un. They know I'm better than them, so they have to assert their dominance through sex, un. It's the only way their manly egos can sustain anyone being better, yeah."

"Then what the hell are you?" Sasori asked.

"I don't know, un!" Deidara cried, throwing up his hands in frustration. "But I have more problems than a gender identification crisis, yeah!"

"Like what?"

"Like I've got your manly fluids leaking out my asshole, un!" Deidara turned to go, but Sasori caught his wrist.

"Look, Deidara, I-" Sasori suddenly found his mouth dry. "You're a jerk and a slut and a man-whore. Come on, we're going to get some dinner." Sasori opened the door to the closet and stepped out, leading Deidara out of the building and to his car. Deidara grinned happily as Sasori opened the door for him. "What's got you so happy all of a sudden?"

"Danna loves me, un," Deidara teased, kissing the redhead on the cheek. Sasori wrinkled his nose and got in the car, backing up and driving off.

Dinner was lovely. You really had to understand Sasori, but he was actually a nice guy. After dinner, Sasori took Deidara back to his apartment.

After Deidara had showered and had stripped down to his boxers, he slipped under Sasori's covers. About fifteen minutes later, Sasori joined him, turning off the light and getting in bed, making sure not to touch Deidara. Deidara rolled over to face the redhead in the dark. "Sasori?" he asked quietly, after a long silence.

"Yeah?"

"I hear… I hear, when lovers sleep together, they… hold… each other, un." Sasori turned to face Deidara, propping himself up on one elbow. "It could just be a rumor, I don't know, but… can you… hold me, yeah?" Deidara's nose was swelling pretty badly, and he had a bruise over his left eye. Sasori bent, kissing Deidara's lips sweetly.

"Of course." Sasori turned Deidara so that they were back to front, and wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist. He knew Deidara was crying. This was the last time they would touch each other like this. There was no way, after the beating they had given each other, that they could be together in any way. No matter if they still loved each other, no matter if Sasori had become the only other person in Deidara's life, no matter how close they were, it was the cycle of abuse. And they both knew it, too. Sasori had beat Deidara, hurt him to the core, and then bought him dinner. This night would the last night Deidara had his Danna.

"… so that's how it ended?" Itachi asked. Deidara nodded, smiling shyly.

"Yep, un."

"You just… slept together like that… and left?"

"Yeah, un."

"He didn't sound like he was being very nice to you in the living room just now."

"You have to speak Danna, un. He's really a cutie, un." Itachi looked skeptical, but Deidara didn't need him to start hating on his friends.

"What was that bit about Prozac?" Deidara chuckled.

"Oh, that's just an inside joke we have. I turned normal once I started taking it, un."

"So you're going to do your concert tonight?" he asked, suddenly changing the subject.

"Yeah."

"Do you want me to come-"

"No, un." Deidara looked a bit sorry for his speedy answer. "I mean, it's not exactly your cup of tea, you'd be bored to tears, un."

"Really, at a time like this, do you think that matters?"

"Yes, I think it does, un." Deidara got up and shakily walked to the bedroom. Itachi sighed, knowing Deidara wanted to be alone. Feeling slightly misplaced, he stood up and walked into the kitchen. A note on the counter caught his attention. He had to again question Deidara's choice in friends.

'Dear person who screws Deidara frequently,

You're in for a big surprise. Hope you can keep it up.'

-Sasori' Itachi sighed, crumpling the note. That Sasori probably needed heavy medication.

Deidara looked up into Itachi's eyes, pleadingly. "Take me, un," he whispered, holding Itachi's hand. The Uchiha gulped, taking a deep breath.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Are you really ready?"

It had become a common happening; Itachi would take his eyes off Hidan and Deidara for ten seconds, and the silver-haired cook would be all over the blonde, kissing and groping and touching. Deidara would inevitably push him off, coming up with some excuse, and wander off. But this time, it was different. Once Deidara muttered the predictable "S-stop, un," Hidan didn't. He held on to the musician, hoping to convey his love through the contact. "Hidan! Stop it, un!" Deidara cried, pushing hard against Hidan's chest. The cook let go, looking down at Deidara.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked. He hadn't meant for his anger to come out in this way, but if he didn't get it out with words, it might amount to physical. "I just love you, can't you see that?" Deidara looked down. "It's been forever, can't you at least let me take care of you?" Hidan tried to put all his frustration into his words, all his anger, all this pent up anxiety and sexual tension. "Just let me be with you." Hidan reached out to touch Deidara's cheek. Deidara slapped the hand away, and then promptly struck Hidan across the face.

"You pig, yeah!" he screamed. He began crying, running off to the bedroom. Hidan, growling, punched the wall. Itachi emerged from the bedroom, glaring at Hihdan.

"If you can't handle Deidara, you can just leave," Itachi shrieked. "If you can't control your damn sexual desires, you can just get the hell out of here!" Hidan turned without another word, slamming the door on his way out. Itachi sighed, going back to the bedroom. Deidara was sitting awkwardly on the bed, looking at his hands folded in his lap.

"I overreacted, un," he muttered.

"No you didn't," Itachi murmured, sitting down and wrapping an arm around the blonde. Deidara leaned against him, humming lightly.

"What Orochimaru did to me… was a lot like having sex with Hidan, hmm."