A/N: Okay, so here's the actual story. Like I said, it's based on the Blue October song, "Congratulations" (featuring Imogen Heap). If you haven't heard it, you really should go listen to it, 'cause I think it really sets the mood for this story. I think it's a really great song, so I hope I did it justice with this fic. Paragraphs in italics are the lyrics, of course. If you read, please review with what you think! If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Thanks! =]

Congratulations

Is that seat taken?
Congratulations,
Would you like to take a walk with me?

Your head whipped around to face me, and as soon as our eyes met, your face lit up. You smiled. "Carly…"

I gave a weak half-smile back, then gestured to the chair I was standing next to. "Is that seat taken?"

You quickly shook your head. "No, please, sit down… I can't believe you made it. I'm so glad."

I nodded, nervous. "Yeah… Congratulations."

"Thanks," you replied quietly, watching me expectantly with those blue eyes.

"I didn't even know you were engaged," I said, giving a nervous laugh.

You shrugged. "Yeah, I… know we didn't really keep in touch. And I'm sorry about that. Freddie's really the only one of my high school friends I talk to anymore. I had to call your brother to get your address."

I watched you, sure that my eyes were revealing my sadness. "We weren't high school friends, though… We were best friends, since like, second grade."

You looked down shamefully. "I know…"

We were both silent for an awkward moment, not sure of what to say next. Should we apologize, reminisce, or try to make awkward small talk?

You suddenly broke the silence by blurting out, "I had a baby."

I froze and stared at you for a moment, trying to imagine you with a big belly, walking around, picking out baby clothes. "You… you did?"

You nodded. "Just a few months ago. I got pregnant a few weeks after Ryan proposed… She's here, but I think Ryan's mom is watching her. She might've left by now."

My eyes were wide now, unable to absorb this information. "You had a baby girl?"

You nodded again. "I… named her Shay."

You smiled weakly, and I smiled back, feeling a warmth inside at the thought of you naming your baby after me and Spencer's last name. "That's awesome, Sam… Congratulations, again. Wow, I wish you would've told me you were pregnant…"

You shrugged, your smile fading. "I didn't tell anyone, really… Freddie didn't even know until I was almost due."

"Hm," I made a sound of interest, not sure of what to say to this. You'd had a baby and named it after my last name, but didn't feel the need to get a hold of me and tell me?

"Her and Ryan are my world. They're so amazing… I don't think I've ever loved two people more than I love them," you explained, giving me a proud half-smile.

I nodded, thinking of me, Spencer, and Freddie, and our days back in middle and high school. "That's good. I'm really happy for you, Sam."

"Thanks…" you replied shakily.

There was another awkward silence as I tried to soak in all this information and register it. I wondered if the baby I'd heard crying in the church was yours… Now it was going to be really difficult to do this… you had a husband and a baby. What did I have? I could throw everything away at a moment's notice, but you couldn't. You had too much in your life now.

"You wanna go for a walk with me?" I asked spontaneously.

Your head perked up and looked at me surprisingly. "Y-yeah, sure."

My mind, it kind of goes fast
I try to slow it down for you
I think I'd love to take a drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years…
My heart

Within minutes, we found ourselves walking casually down the side street next to the building. It was quiet and almost deserted, being so close to a small, suburban neighborhood. The streetlights were coming on, and we stayed close to the curb, but still stayed next to each either, our arms bumping every now and then. It made my heart skip every time.

You held your dress up as you walked, your high heels clicking on the pavement. I had taken my heels off and was carrying them in one hand, not caring if my feet got dirty. The warm pavement felt good on the soles of my feet, and I already knew I would be taking a long, hot shower when I got home. I would also be washing my clothes. I wanted to get rid of that church/cake/dancing old people smell as soon as possible.

"So, I'm really glad you came," you started off, still nervous.

I nodded. "Yeah, why wouldn't I? Your marriage is definitely one I couldn't miss."

"I'll take that as a compliment," you said, looking over at me and smirking. I laughed.

"I saw your marriage announcement in the paper at my brother's," I commented. "You looked really happy… I had to come see my best friend. You looked the happiest I've ever seen you."

You nodded. "I am. I'm so happy, Carls…"

I smiled again at the sound of the old nickname. Spencer didn't even call me that very often anymore. I guess he saw me as more grown-up and was afraid I'd be upset if he continued calling me Carls like he did when I was in middle school.

"And we are still best friends, huh?"

The question caught me off-guard. I glanced over quickly, my smile fading. "Well… you'll always be mine. That can't change. I hate that we drifted so far apart, but I guess it's just part of growing up."

I hated admitting this. I wanted to just get in my car and drive away. I wanted to go back to Vancouver; I wanted to take that long drive and get as far away from you as possible. I couldn't handle this. It was hurting too badly, knowing we felt different. You'd never know how I really felt, or how much I truly missed you.

"It doesn't have to be," you mumble sadly.

I don't say anything to this, knowing you're right. But there's nothing we can do about it now. I can feel it – I know that we can't have the same friendship as we did before. Simply too much has changed and we just became two different people. We had our own lives to worry about… some more progressed than others.

My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me…
My heart won't take this cover up
You left me…

I couldn't lie to myself, though: it hurt. It hurt more than anything. I didn't like letting you go, and I didn't like moving on without you.

But like they say, if you really love something, you'll set it free.

I came to see the light in my best friend
You seemed as happy as you'd ever been
My chance of being open was broken
And now you're Mrs. Him.

We walked on in silence, that awkwardness hanging between us. I felt like stopping and wrapping my arms around you and holding you as tight as I could. I felt like bursting into tears right in front of you. I had so much I wanted to tell you… but knew I never could.

"I love you, Sam," I said softly, my eyes staring down at the ground in front of me.

"I love you, too, Carls," you said back without a second thought. We'd said it so many times years prior. I had promised myself I'd tell you how much I really loved you one day.

But now it was too late. I was walking with Mrs. Sloan, mother of Shay Sloan, and the only person I'd ever honestly loved, inside and out.

I can still tell you, though, I thought to myself. I wanted to get it off my chest. It felt like a weight on my heart, tugging and pulling down. I just needed you to know.

"I love you a lot, Sam… and I miss you like crazy," I admitted, giving a light, nervous laugh at the end.

I saw you smirk from the corner of my eye. "I miss you, too. We had so much fun together… Man, I'd give anything to go back to those days."

I nodded in agreement. "You're telling me…"

My words, they don't come out right
But I'll try to say I'm happy for you
I think I'm going to take that drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years…
My heart

I didn't know what to say. You hadn't understood. I guess I just wasn't saying the right things; I wasn't making myself clear. This was harder than I'd ever imagined. Every time I tried to push the words out, something in me would hold them back, too afraid to let them loose. But I had to get this out. This could be my last chance to tell you face-to-face, heart-to-heart.

"I – I'm really happy for you, Sam," I pushed out, immediately beating myself up inside for not saying what I'd originally planned. "Really."

You looked over and set your blue eyes on me, sending a burn through my heart. "Thank you, Carly. I really appreciate that."

I smiled weakly and quickly looked away, setting my eyes back to the pavement. The sky was darkening, the sun getting lower and lower, and the shadows on the ground grew. Your big, puffy shadow had soon taken over mine to the right of us.

We walked in silence again. I was almost in disbelief at how much this had all changed. We used to be able to talk for hours on end. There wasn't a moment we weren't telling each other something. We had so much to share. And now… we didn't even have enough to break the awkward silences on this walk.

Either that, or we didn't have enough courage to tell each other anything.

After what felt like an excruciatingly long time, I inhaled deeply and cleared my throat, then stopped walking. You stopped abruptly, looking at me in question. I turned to face you and forced my heart to slow down enough for me to at least breathe and talk at the same time.

"Sam…"

You raised your eyebrows, concerned. "Yeah?" I could tell you were bracing yourself for bad news. I hoped this wasn't too bad of news for you.

"Sam, there's something I've wanted to tell you for years… Er, no… Rather, there's something I've been wanting to give to you for years."

"What is it, Carly?" you asked, concern shadowing your face.

My breath caught in my throat, but I forced it to go on. "My heart."

My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me…
My heart
My heart won't take this cover up
You left me…

I was almost afraid time had stopped right before my eyes. You froze, and your eyes stayed glued to mine. But they slowly grew wider, and your mouth shut tightly, your lips pursing. Your hands slowly let go of your dress, and your arms rested at your sides. I just stared back, fear in my eyes, wanting you to at least try to understand. I'd finally gotten the courage to say it, but was it the right thing to do?

Finally, you spoke weakly, "Carls…"

I looked down, ashamed now. I was sure you were done with me for good. This wasn't something you wanted to hear. I wanted to punch myself in the head for saying it. It was better left inside of me, for only me to know.

But you surprised me when you found your voice.

"I love you, Carly… As more than a best friend. I have for years. And I've always wanted to give you my heart… But I never told you… I thought you wouldn't feel the same in a thousand years. God, I wish you'd told me this sooner… I love you so much. And it's hurt so badly not to have you in my life. I invited you because I wanted to see you one last time, in case I never got to see you again…"

I forgot to breathe for a few minutes, staring at you in awe. I couldn't believe this. Now I was kicking myself for not saying something earlier. I had no idea. And now, here we were, spilling our hearts on your wedding day.

"But… you left me, Sam."

I couldn't help it. It had been eating at me since that day I watched you drive away. I had to tell you. I didn't know if you didn't realize it, or if you just ignored the fact because you knew you had to do it, but you did leave me. And you left everything we had. I just wanted you to know how bad it hurt me for so many years.

After I'd watched you drive away, I felt so angry and sad and confused. I wanted to call you right then and there and scream at you. I wanted to tell you that you were leaving me behind like all those years of being best friends meant nothing. I wanted to tell you I loved you and that I couldn't breathe right without you around. I wanted to tell you how badly it hurt to watch you leave me.

But I didn't. I kept it inside. And as the years passed, the pain dulled, until it was just a bad memory and I regretted feeling all of that. I really was happy for you… I just wished I could've told you all of this sooner. But I waited too long, and now it was too late.

And I can't change this
I can never take it back
But now I can't change your mind
(You left me)

I stared into your blue eyes, and I saw the pain in them. I could tell you regretted it. And deep down, I knew it wasn't really your choice. Your mom had wanted you to go to college so bad, and you had that chance to go on a full scholarship. You were so afraid that if you didn't go to college, you'd end up like your mom, which was the last thing you wanted. It was your only chance. You had to take it. I understood that. It just hurt. I covered up my hurt for so long, but now it was finally too much. I was telling you because I couldn't just cover up my heart anymore. I couldn't pretend it wasn't there. I didn't want to hurt you, but I guess those things just happen.

"I'm sorry," was all you could choke out, your voice cracking. I could tell you were holding back tears. I had always been able to tell when you were trying not to cry – you were always too tough to cry.

I looked down, not wanting to see your eyes.

"I guess it's too late now, huh?" I said, chuckling nervously, the pain showing through that laugh.

You sighed, but didn't say anything. I know you didn't want to agree with me, but you knew I was right. We couldn't change things now.

"Well, it's alright, 'cause I know I can't change your mind now," I admitted, mustering up all my courage to look up and face you again. "You found a really great guy, and you're happily married now. You have a baby with him. I'm happy for you. I want you to be happy… I'm no home wrecker, but I do wish I could change things… I understand, though. This guy must really deserve you if you married him."

You were frowning, tears pooling in your eyes. But you still held them back. I hated that I'd told you now. I wanted to take it back. It was hurting you, and I was ruining your day. I felt so ridiculously stupid.

"I wish we could change this," you whispered.

A tear rolled down my cheek. It surprised me; I didn't even know I was about to cry. But I wiped it away and put on a small smile. "No. You can have the life you always wanted now."

You just stared at me, still holding back those tears. I wanted to know how you held them back so well, because obviously I couldn't.

And I can't take this,
I can never take this back
But now I can't change your mind
Can't change your mind
(You left me)

"I wish you would've gotten a hold of me. I never understood why we just lost touch," you said. "It's understandable, I guess, through college. I mean, that's when I met Ryan, and I was always preoccupied with him. And when I got pregnant, that was about the only thing that mattered to me for nine months… But still. Why didn't we at least call each other?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. But we can talk now. We can be best friends again."

"But it hurts so much, Carly…"

That was the last thing I'd wanted to hear.

Can't change your mind
(You left me)
(You left me)
(You left me)
(You left me)

"Stop it, Sam," I demanded quietly. "It's too late. We can't take it back, and we can't change anything. What's done is done. Let's just put it in the past and try to let it go…"

"I can't, though," you said. "I hate this. I mean, I love my Shay, and I love Ryan, but I've always loved you so much… I can't change that. I can't let go of it. It will never be in the past, because it will always be how I feel."

I leaned on one leg uncomfortably. The hurt inside was back; just like the day you left. It burned me and scarred me, and I wanted it to go away, but I knew it would take time… Time away from you.

"I know," I said almost under my breath. "I – I feel the same way. But we have to go our separate ways. We have to get on with life. We'll let it go…"

"It hurts so bad, though, Carls…"

I shut my eyes, wincing. I wanted to take your pain away, but I didn't know how anymore. I was in love with my best friend, but she was married now. That's how it was, and it couldn't be switched now. Nothing could be taken back.

"I know," I said again, more sternly this time. "I love you, Sam, but I have to go now."

You opened your mouth to say something, but I turned around and quickly walked off. You didn't chase after me, or call out to me. You knew it was useless. You just watched me walk away. It took all of my strength not to look back, because I knew if I did, I'd end up turning back around, and I couldn't let that happen. I knew that, even if you said you'd changed your mind, that you never really would. You were married now, and that was a big decision you made. Plus, you had a baby with that guy, and that meant you had a full life ahead of you. I couldn't change your mind.

It just hurt… That's all.

Go away
Make it go away
Please…

I walked clear back to my car, a couple of blocks away, with the sun almost completely gone at that point. I got into my car and started it, and when I moved the visor down to block the last bits of sun that were shining in my face, that picture fell out onto my lap. I picked it up and looked at it once more, then put my hand out the window and let the picture float down to the ground as I sighed. I knew I couldn't keep that picture, because it would only make the memories more vivid, and then the pain would be worse… Then I drove off. After going back to Spencer's, I left Seattle, with no intention of ever going back. I drove away from you… I drove so far away from you.

I left you.

end.