I'm going to start writing a story to get me focused on something other than school and get around this stupid restlessness crap I've got going on. This is probably going to start out terrible since I haven't written something that wasn't a research paper in a while. It'll hopefully get better as it goes on. I have a vague idea about this, but not exactly sure where it is going, but that's the way I like to write. I hope that it plays out well and then I'll start posting it elsewhere. Maybe once I really get back in to the groove of things I'll complete the rest of my stories.... Oh and by the way, if you don't know me, I only write MerDer. I add in other characters from time to time, but only MerDer. This story is still going to be really different for me so I hope people enjoy it!

Chapter 1:

"Meredith?"

"Yeah?" Meredith said through the door as she pulled her hair down from its messy bun.

"The exam rooms are all cleaned and locked. There is still some paperwork that you need to sign sitting on your desk, but everything else is organized. We're all ready for the holiday, unless you need me do something else," the voice answered.

Meredith straightened out her sweater before swinging open the door of the small bathroom and walking out into her office. "No I think we're good, Nichole. You really are a life saver. You better never move or anything. I need you to keep my head straight."

"It's no problem," the young woman said as she divided the files on Meredith's desk into three categories. She was obsessive about things like this and it kept Meredith put together. "Have any plans for the holiday? I bet your children are happy to have a few days off."

"They actually got the whole week off. They left for their father's Saturday morning. They won't be back until next Sunday," Meredith answered as she pulled on her jacket.

"No plans for Thanksgiving then?"

"No. These are the days that make me wish I still worked at the hospital. I could just work, but no one schedules appointments at a private practice over Thanksgiving. I could just hope that one of my patient's has an emergency, but that would just guarantee my express train ticket to hell," Meredith joked.

Nichole smiled as she stepped away from the desk, satisfied with her work, "Take the files hope and work on them. It'll keep you busy and make your life easier once the kids get back and you have more appointments than you want. If it'll make you feel better, I can pray that your ex-husband gets called into work."

As she began picking up the files, Meredith laughed. "I thought about doing that, but then Michael and Jackie would be left with their soon-to-be-step-mother and I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"She can't be that bad," Nichole answered, turning off the light and leading the way out of Meredith's office.

"Well, she's definitely the anti-Meredith, so if that's what he was going for, he succeeded. She's like a Prada-wearing-super-women. No one should be that put together when they're a successful surgeon and one of those over the top social gathering planner people. To top it all off, she has two perfect super-children. It's inhuman."

"Social gathering planner people?"

Meredith eyed her assistant, "Don't mock me, it's late and I'm not paid for my articulate communication skills."

Nichole smiled, "Well, get some ice-cream, watch Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving and before you know it, the two rugrats will be back and you'll be wishing they were still in New York."

Meredith looked back at her practice and smiled before she locked the door. It was nice leaving it some days, especially when she had the chance to realize that it was hers. Five Years. Her accomplishment, no one else's. It wasn't that she didn't have plenty of other doctors working there, but it was her practice. It was "Grey's Neurology."

"You still there?"

"Yeah," Meredith said, turning around and following Nichole down the walkway to the parking lot. "Just losing my mind, that's all."

"Don't do that, if you do, you'll lose your job and then I will. I'll never find another boss who lets my three-year-old hang out in her office whenever the babysitter bails."

"I love Rebecca. She's no problem. Plus, it's not like I haven't been there." Meredith stopped at her car as she fumbled for her keys. "Well, get home to her and Rob. I'll see you on Monday, okay?"

"See you then!"

Meredith opened the door to her Volvo and got in, throwing her purse in the passenger seat. She turned on the ignition, but waited for the car to warm up before moving. She looked in the backseat and saw the book bags and toys haphazardly thrown in the back. Michael's English report was sitting on the middle seat with an "A" scribbled on the top from the Friday before he left.

She reached back and grabbed the tattered notebook paper. She couldn't believe she never got around to reading this. Michael had been bugging her to edit it until he finally got a babysitter to when she had a business dinner. The pencil was smudged a little, making his messy handwriting a little big worse. It reminded her of his father's cat-scratch. Just like his eyes and the way he talked. Most everything Michael did reminded her of his father.

She ran her finger across the title, "Life with Two Families." She smiled, remembering how confused he used to get over the three ways to spell two. It took her forever to help him understand that. Usually he got everything so quickly; it took Meredith awhile to figure out how to help him.

He started talking about Meredith and his little sister and his life in Seattle. He said it was his home. That he grew up there, but then he talked about New York and his Daddy's home. She'll never understand why he had to move to New York. You'd think that if you actually wanted to spend time with your children, you wouldn't voluntarily move to the other side of the country. There was no reason for it and she knew one day that it would start to really affect Michael. It would affect him more than Jackie. She knew Michael had some memories of when his parents were still together and more from when he moved three blocks away. At least then things were easier. Now Michael and Jackie get to see their father a few times a year. Usually he would come out here and see them for some of the summer and then take them back for the rest, that way he didn't take them from Meredith the entire summer. She bet that would change thanks to Elizabeth and her stupid perfect preppy family.

Knocking herself out of her thoughts, she moved her attention back to the paper. She was nearly through the first page when her phone went off. She dropped the paper in her lap, fumbling through her purse for her phone. She grabbed it and groaned when she saw her ex-husband's name flash across the screen. This is why she bought her ten-year-old son a pre-paid cell phone. It eliminated the awkward conversations his father would start when he'd call so Michael and Jackie could say goodnight. Why he couldn't just let Michael dial the numbers would never make sense to her.

"Hello?"

"Meredith."

"Elizabeth?" Meredith cringed. Of course, it had to be the stupid fiancé. That was worse than the stupid ex-husband.

"Meredith," she sighed into the phone. There was something wrong with her tone of voice. Elizabeth was one of those freakishly happy-go-lucky people. She'd probably be smiling when she told her patient's family that their mother just died from heart-failure. It just wasn't right.

"Elizabeth, what's wrong? You sound off," Meredith said, her mind starting to shoot off in a million different directions. Each synapse was sending her a different message, a different possibility of what could be wrong.

"Meredith, you need to get on a plane to New York."

Meredith threw her car into reverse and pulled out of the parking lot, slamming on the gas. "What's wrong? What happened? Are my babies, alright?"

"There was an accident."

"An accident! What the hell are you talking about? What happened?" Meredith yelled into the phone, her breath coming out in thick heaves. She was starting to see things, making it that much worse that she was flying through the wet streets of Seattle.

"Meredith, just come. I have to go."

The line went dead and Meredith's heart dropped. What the hell happened? Why had Elizabeth called? Had he been okay, Michael would have called. He calls her every night when he's in New York. He needs his mother. And every night, Jackie tries to grab the phone from his hand. Her kids were dependent on her. Whatever was going on, she needed to be there. Something was not right. Her babies needed her.

She had to make sure they were okay. It could be nothing. At least that's what she kept telling herself as she got onto the highway and sped in the direction towards the airport. Michael could just need his appendix out. She would need to be there for that. He's her baby. Or Jackie could have fallen and hit her head. Meredith wouldn't be satisfied unless she looked at it and they should know that. The Mother always knew, regardless of whether she was a neurosurgeon. She would know if her baby was alright.

She just had to see them. As soon as she saw them, she'd be able to breathe. Until then, it was going to be a very long flight.

What if this storm ends?
And I don't see you
As you are now
Ever again