"Oh my god, where's Edward! How did Carlisle get back here!! I thought he was in jail." I asked sadly.

"Bella I was so worried about u but I know you can't die because you're a vampire. Carlisle came back because that girl Rosalie freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student." Varner said reassured.

"That girl! Did she also free Sam and Loopin?" I shouted angrily. I hated Rosalie because she was a prep.

"Yes they are on the loose at this school. Charlie is back Victoria is on her way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their cafeteria!" Varner said worriedly.

"OK. But where's Edward? How cum he was doing it with Carlisle??"

"I don't know why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill yourself." she said.

"OMG that's terrible!!" I gasped. Satan was still asleep, so he couldn't tell what was going on. Then I said "Listen evry1, I have something important to do. In hr evry1 stay!!" with that I ran out.

"Good luck Bella!" everyone cried. I ran sexily down the stairs in2 the cafeteria. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs and there was an atmosphere of horror. On the way I saw Rosalie laughing on the stairs.

"You are mean" I shouted angrily.

"No, your totally mean. Now James will like totally kill u!" she laughed.

"I will shoot you!" I shouted selectively pontificating my black gun and she started screaming because she was being tortured and I laughed sadistically.

"No! Help me! Please!" Rosalie screamed terrified. I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw the video camera Carlisle had used to take the video of me. I put the tape of James doing it with Laurent onto it. Then I continued to run down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached the cafeteria I saw Jacob Black.

"OMG Jacob!" I yielded. We hugged each udder happily. He locked at me with his spiky black hair. Around them were black eyeliner and iShadow.

"I was so worried you died!" moaned Jacob.

"I know but I'm a vampire. When I woke up I was back in 1980, so anyway I bought James from when he was young with me."

"Where's Edward?" I asked spuriously.

"Edward? You mean that poser who betrayed you?" Jacob snarled with anger in his sexy voice.

"I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM." I SED SMARTY.

"I'll do it den." Jacob said nastily.

"OK." I agreed. Suddenly…all the lights in the room went out. And den…the Voltari appeared.

"Oh my Satan!!" Jacob shouted.

"I fink James has arrived." I said anxiously. "I have to find Edward!!1 I guess we should separate."

"Ok." Jacob said disappearing. Sadly I ran into the cafeteria. I walked sexily into the cafeteria. It was empty except for one person. Edward was there!! He sat there in deadly bloom. He had slit his wrists! I felt mad at him for having sex with Carlisle but I felt sorry for him.

"Edward, are you okay??" I asked.

"I'm not okay." he screamed depressed. I thought of the MCR song and I got even more depressed because that song always makes me cry. I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.

"Oh Edward why did you do it with that bastard Carlisle?" I asked tearfully.

"I-" Edward began to say but suddenly James and Mr. Varner aspirated in2 the room!! They didn't see us.

"I'm so glad we me and Carlisle were freed." said James.

"This job would be great if it wasn't 4 the students!" Mr. Varner agreed.

"Pop addelum!!111" I yielded angrily pointing my gun at them.

"No!" James shouted as chains came on him. Mr. Varner ran away.

"You pervert." I said laughing with depths of evil and depressions in my voice. "Now you have 2 tell us where James is or I'm gong 2 torture u!!"

"I don't now where he is!" said James. Suddenly Satan and Jacob ran in2 the room. Jacob didn't know who Satan was really.

"Oh my Satan, we were so worried about u guys!!1" Jacob said. I looked sexily at Edward. I selectively took the caramel from my pocket. Suddenly…a big black car that said 666 on the license plate flew strait through the windows. And Carlisle was in it!!11

"That's mi car!!" shouted Edward angrily. But suddenly it was revealed who was in the car. It was…Carlisle!!

"I shall free you James but first you must help me kill these idiotic dunderheads." he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumambient above us.

"Bella Swan must be killed. Den the Volturi shall never die!!"

"You prep!!" yelled Edward. Then he looked at me sadly. "I forgot to tell u, Bella. Carlisle made me do it with him. I didn't really do it with him!!" We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. We were so scarred! But Satan didn't change. Instead he changed into a man with long hair!

"I knew who thou were all along." he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me.

"Now I shall kill thee all!!" Thunder came in the room.

"No please don't kill us!" pleaded Jacob. Suddenly Jessica, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Sam, Esme, Charlie, Billy and Carlisle all ran in.

"What is the meaning of this?" Charlie asked all angrily and James looked away (because Charlie is the only person he is scared of.) He drove his car sexily. James jumped on the roof evilly.

"Oh my goth!" Charlie gasped.

"The Volturi shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!!" Carlisle enslaved menacingly.

"You preppy fags!" Billy shouted angrily.

"I know four - letter word 4 dirt, DIE!" screamed Jacob but the sparks from his gun only hit Edward's car. It fell down Carlisle quickly crawled out of it and picked up the video camera.

"Oh my god!" I cried because the video of me in the bathroom, the video of me with Edward and the video of Satan doing it with him.

"If you kill me then these videos will be shown to everyone in the skull. Then u can be just like that gothic girl Paris Hilton." He laughed meanly.

"No!" I screamed. "FYI I have the picture of u doing it with James!"

"What's she talking about??" James slurped as he sat in chains.

"I saw 2 she's gonna show evry1 the picture!" Jacob shouted angrily.

"Shut up!" Lumpkin roared.

"Foolish ignoramuses!!" yielded James from his broomstick. "Thou shall all dye soon."

"Think again you human poser!" Jacob yelled and then he and Jasper and Emmett both took out black guns! But James took out his own one.

"U guys are in a Latin stand-of!" I shouted dispiritedly.

"Shoot Emmett's gun!" cried James and suddenly Emmett's wind was in his hands. "Now I shall kill thee all and Bella u will die!" He maid lighting come all over the place.

"Save us Bella!" Charlie cried. I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the cafeteria and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attack 3 and Saw 2 but I knew I had 2 do something more impotent.

"ABRA KEDABRA!" I shouted. And a rabbit came out of a top hat.

* THE END. *