l'Arena

She breathed heavily as she moved on top of him, her hips grinding against his pelvis. He pushed back against her, his hands sliding across her thin hips and grabbing onto her ass. She moaned in pleasure at his touch, pushing herself further down upon him. The action caused him to react with his lower body, thrusting upwards and deeper into her.

Soi Fon leaned down and kissed him passionately, enjoying the feel of his tongue against hers as she continued to wriggle above him. She rolled away and lay next to him, her smaller hands tugging at him to roll on top of her. With a slight sigh, he obliged and they resumed making love under the cold moon of Soul Society.

After a few minutes longer, they came together— Soi Fon gasping quietly as her nails gently dug into his back. He rolled off of her as she rolled back over to him, resting her head on his muscular chest. Her hand reached up as she gently began tracing a scar that ran along his torso, chuckling slightly as he squirmed under her touch. She could never control herself.

Hisagi Shuuhei was very ticklish.

"Come on, you dummy," he said as she continued to softly graze his skin with her fingertip. "That's not as funny to me as it is to you."

"You're so nice, Shuuhei.," she said dryly as he grabbed her wrist playfully. "I love the pet-names you give me."

"You deserve 'em."

"Sure I do."

She really loved Hisagi. She had for a while now. Every time they were together, she felt euphoric and giddy. She felt happier than she'd ever had. In the past fifty years, at least. She'd kept mostly to herself after Yoruichi had left. But then she'd met Hisagi and everything had changed. She had great sex, good conversation, and someone to love. And he loved her too, and he would tell her so every night.

That's where things got complicated.

While she loved him, she feared the act of actually saying it. Perhaps it was that she'd never truly loved anyone before, romantically at least. She'd loved her family— well, as much as she could love the group of people that she'd abandoned for her service. And she'd loved Yoruichi. But this was different. She really loved Shuuhei.

But something always stopped her from returning the three small words that he would say to her.

Perhaps it was because of her love for Yoruichi that she so avoided the phrase. She could easily find the blame in her former mentor's disappearance. Soi Fon wasn't so naïve that she could be blind to the emotional after-effects that her mentor's abandonment could cause. But Soi prided herself on being better than that. On being stronger than that.

Yet the irrational fear remained, always blockading the words in her mouth, no matter how desperate she was for them to leave it.

And how she felt for him. She knew how crushed he was every time he would say it and she could only answer dumbly, spouting silly little phrases like, "I know." She cursed that phrase, how it was always her go-to line when she would respond. She thought it sounded like a line from a movie or something.

But even worse were the times that she would say nothing at all, her mouth remaining shut as she felt his desire for her to speak burning into her chest.

"Why the serious face, Soi?" he asked as he began to kiss her neck. "You look like you're trying to make Captain Komamura's helmet fall off with your mind."

She chuckled at his joke, despite the sour feeling that was rising in her gut. She knew he would say it soon; he would always start in with the little jokes and kisses before he said the phrase. It was a tell-tale sign, almost as if he were trying to lighten her up before he attempted to once more drag the desired response out of her.

She hated that the most. The feeling of the two of them circling one another like gladiators in a great coliseum, each one waiting for the other to stumble to the arena floor in defeat. And as she lay in his arms, a lump forming in her throat, she knew that she would be the winner yet again.

"I love you."

The way he said it was almost a question, the inflection turning upwards ever so slightly in the last syllable of the phrase. She turned and looked at him, feeling the pain in her chest as he gazed into her eyes.

I love you.

I love you, Shuuhei.

I love you I love you I love you.

"I know."

His eyes dropped slightly at her words, the disappointment evident in them. She knew that he was no longer disappointed at her response, but at himself for hoping it would change. He leaned in, kissed her on the forehead, and whispered a quick 'goodnight' before he rolled away from her, his body no longer touching hers. She opened her mouth to speak, but slowly closed it when nothing came out.

Soi Fon rolled on to her side as well, facing the opposite direction of her lover. She knew that tomorrow morning they'd wake up, somehow finding each other's arms in their sleep. She would go the day, ignoring the third-seat of the ninth division as she always did. But after dinner he would appear at her door and they would do it all over again. Only tomorrow, she would wake up in his arms and try to once more tell him what he wanted to hear. Try to tell him how much she loved him.

The next morning, Soi Fon woke up alone.

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author's note

after writing the latest chapter of so,i couldn't help but write out the story between soi and hisagi. i was really enjoying how they were being friendly to one another, and i wanted to explain why. i think this helps tie in the animosity they have towards one another earlier, as well as when shuuhei is worried about soi after she gets hurt.

if you have no idea what i'm talking about, hit up my main story. you'll probably like it. i do.

rags to bitches,

jaso~!