Alright-e-Os! Well, this is my first properly written story!! WOOHOO!!! It takes place round about Shippuuden, pre-rescue Gaara arc, so Sasori etc is still alive but Tobi is a full member of the Akatsuki! WOOHOO, GO THE AWESUMNESS THAT IS TOBI!!!...ahem...yeah, well anyways...I hope you enjoy and review!

Oh and BTW, Renae is me (A.K.A: Nae, Larry, 'the other one, 'girl by the door' or whatever else you may happen to know me by) and the writing in Italics is sort of like interruptions to the main story (If you understand the ununderstandableness (OMG, brackets in brackets!!)).

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the characters or the Akatsuki's bathroom sink. But I do own the army of evil, blood-thirsty vampire squirrels's, so watch yourself! Or they may just come after you....dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn!!!

What happens when an army of evil, blood-thirsty vampire squirrels take the Akatsuki's money, why is Deidara and Sasori stalking Ronald Mcdonald and what on earth is Pein doing with a copy of Womans Day tucked in his cloak?? Plus, is letting them work at a school such a good idea?

"Alright, well this is the story of how-"

"Renae, can I please tell the story?"

"Uuum, I guess.."

"Yay!! Well....

"Get back here THEIF!!!"

I yelled as I ran around the bathroom after an entire army of evil, blood-thirsty vampire squirrels –"

"Umm, it was a mouse Kakuzu, un..."

"Shutup Deidara, I'm tellin' a story here!! Now, were was I...Oh, well, why I was risking my life trying to capture these beast you may ask? Well-"

"Pfft, risking your life my arse, un..."

"Deidara, stop interrupting!!! WELL!!! They had stolen over $200 000 worth of money from my piggy bank!"

"Wow...Tobi never knew you had that much money....Why didn't you buy Tobi birthday present?"

"Tobi, he never had that much money...unless your counting his Monopoly money,un."

"Grr, SHUT- wait... How do you know about that..."

"FOR GODS SAKE!!! THAT'S IT, I"M TELLIN THE FRICKEN STORY!"

"But Renae, how would you know all the important details, like how much money I lost, and about how I saved it by riding upon a dragon and-"

"I have my ways, Kakuzu..I have my ways...Plus, your making half of that stuff up. Okie dokies, onwards with the story!!"

"Get back here THEIF!"

Kakuzu yelled as he chased a mouse around the bathroom, knocking over this and that and causing utter destruction and global warming.

In the lounge room of the Akatsuki base

"HEEELLLPPPP!!!!"

Itachi looked up from his book, startled by the odd noise. He was pretty sure he killed that cat...No, wait, Itachi wasn't thinking that, he would never kill a poor, innocent kitty cat... Ahem, anyways, so he decided he had better investigate...The easy way.

" Hey Deidara, go check that out will you?"

He returned to his book. Deidara shot Itachi a dirty look and grudgingly got up, tipping his cup of orange juice over Itachi's head on the way, much to Itachi's horror. Hah, Deidara better make himself scarce for the next couple of hours if he knows what's good for him... (Itachi + orange juice in his hair = somethin' scarier then...then....Orochimaru in a tutu!! (Oh em ef gee, I can do MATHS!! (OMFG, brackets in brackets!)))

Back in the bathroom

"Kakuzu, I'm afraid, we are gonna have to amputate, un..."

Deidara announced with a fake-grim look on his face. Kakuzu had his arm at least 50cm down the bathroom sink (How he got it there, not even the almighty pancakes would know...). The mouse had somehow got hold of one of Kakuzu's precious $5 notes, so of course, being heaps smart and all, he went down the drain after it.

"Oh Deidara, what am I gonna do??" Kakuzu asked in an over-dramatic sorta way.

"Uumm, cant you sew amputated limbs back on, un?"

"I wasn't talkin' 'bout that idiot!" Kakazu snapped before going back to moping. "That mouse and his comrades have been stealing my money, note by note, building an entire civilization right beneath our feet, with plans to invade and steal all the goodness cheese has brought to the world and keep it for themselves, the greedy bastards!!! Now the Akatsuki has no money!!"

The Akatsuki member broke out into a flood of tears. Deidara, having never before seen a fellow S-ranked crim cry, was at a loss for what to do, so settle for patting his back in a fed up manner.

"Don't touch me!" Kakuzu snapped again, then pulled his not-stuck-after-all arm from out of the sink and walked straight out of the bathroom dry-faced like nothing happened. Deidara gave a resigned sigh and trudged after him, muttering something about mood swings, PMSing Konans, multicoloured chickens and being under-appreciated and used.

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Well, waddaya guys think? Sorry the first chappie is so short (it looked a hell of a lot longer on Word) and not very funny, but it will get better...hopefully....So please review ^^