DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Star Trek nor will I ever.
He was now officially off duty but he and Spock both knew that a Federation Captain was never really off duty. He was currently in his quarters, sitting at his desk performing another duty, a task that all star ship captains had to do. He was recording his final message that would be heard by both Spock and McCoy if he were ever to die, the message that they would hopefully never have to hear. The last words that both Spock and McCoy his two best friends, his brothers would remember him by. He had been meaning to do this for several months now but he had never been able to do it, he could never find the words. What should he say?
Advice?
Goodbyes?
No, he never been able to find the words but now he would force himself to do the task.
He knew the risks of space travel but also the thrill of going where no man has gone before; making new discoveries, meeting new races, he was not ready to let that go. But lately he knew that his death was becoming a looming possibility. If he was ever to die he hoped it would be in battle or that his death had somehow saved the crew, his friends, his lady the Enterprise. Then he knew that his death would not be meaningless, that his life had not been wasted.
It had been several weeks since that awful tribble incident and he was far from becoming friends with the Klingons, yes this was the perfect time to perform this task. He composed his thoughts and decided he needed to get the formal words out of the way first. That then decided he switched the recorder on and spoke in a clear voice:
"Bones, Spock... since you are playing this tape, we will assume that I am dead, that the tactical situation is critical, and both of you are locked in mortal combat."
He switched the recorder off. Yes that was a good start but how should he continue it? What should he say to Spock that would show him just how much his friendship meant to him? Yes, he would leave him some advice, which would allow him to become the great captain that he knew Spock could be.
"It means, Spock that you have control of the ship and are probably making the most difficult decisions of your career. I can offer only one small piece of advice, for whatever its worth- Use every scrap of knowledge and logic you have to save the ship."
Yes he had such an amount of logic and knowledge to give. He knew that Spock would make a fine captain and that he could take care of the Enterprise, she was safe in his hands but he also knew that Spock wouldn't like to step into his shoes.
"But temper your judgment with intuitive insight. I believe you have those qualities, but if you can't find them in yourself, seek out McCoy. Ask his advice. And if you find it sound, take it."
Again he switched the recorder off. Take it, yes, like he himself had done so many times before. He could always count on Bones and Spock's advice, taking in both their views he could always find a middle ground and they had saved his life more then once. Undoubtedly Bones would have heard what he had said to Spock. Bones … there would be no doubt that he would take his "death" hard and that he would argue with Spock, judging his every action, believing that Spock was without feeling and not ready to be a captain. He flicked the recorder back on.
"Bones, you've heard what I've just told Spock. Help him if you can, but remember, he is the captain. His decisions must be followed without question. You might find that he is capable of human insight and human error."
Human error … oh yes that would shock McCoy.
"They are most difficult to defend, but …"
He was cut off by the buzzer on the door, he turned the computer off and welcomed the person in and to his surprise he saw that it was McCoy. Speak of the devil and he would appear he mused.
"Well?!" demanded an irritated looking McCoy. "When did you plan on showing up?"
The question threw him, plan on showing where? As he thought about what McCoy was going on about, he must have revealed his puzzlement on his face as McCoy grew even angrier.
"Captain you were supposed to be in sickbay 10 minutes ago for your physical! Remember, the one that I reminded you of all yesterday! What's your excuse going to be this time?"
Yes he remembered it now. However he said nothing as he continued to stare at the disk in his hand. It was more important then a mere physical, not that Bones would agree. No matter how hard he tried to mask the pain and despair he was feeling inside Bones must have noticed that something was troubling him as his angry complexion changed to one of worry as he looked at his face.
"Jim what's wrong?" asked McCoy.
"Nothing Bones. I'm fine" he replied as he flashed one of his charming grins, hoping that he could convince the good doctor that there was nothing to worry about but Bones didn't seem to buy it.
"I'm a doctor not a mind reader! But i can see that something is clearly eating at you. Now good damn it Jim tell me, what is it?"
Should he tell him about the disk now? Yes, Bones had a right to know about the disk; no it was vital that he knew about it, there was no predicting when danger would strike next. In case … he shook his head, this was no time to dwell on such things, it was now or never.
"Do you know what this is?" he asked, holding up the nearly finished recorded disk so McCoy could see it.
"No but I'll presume that you are going to tell me" said McCoy as he took the disk from his hand and examined it.
He sighed, this was so hard but he wasn't going to let McCoy know that. For he was the captain after all, he needed to be strong, without fear or weakness and he would handle his fears alone, like he always did. But why did it have to be so hard to say goodbye?
"If I'm ever to die Bones …"
He was cut off by McCoy. "Jim what ..."
He ignored him, he had to say it. "If I'm ever to die on this mission my last command is that …" he sighed, no he must be strong! "My last order is that you and Spock listen to this" he gestured to the disk that McCoy was still holding.
"These are my final words."
After his outburst there was a long silence between them. Neither wanted to be the first to break the silence as both of them were deep in their own dark thoughts. He looked at McCoy's bent head, wondering what was going through his mind. After a few moments he could no longer stand the silence and was about to break it when McCoy lifted his head up. He didn't know what to expect, anger, grief; sadness … no Bones was too strong for that.
"Understood Captain."
Another long silence stretched between them, he tried to lighten the mood. "Well after that tribble incident I thought it would be better to be prepared, I'm not actually friends with the Klingons right now" he joked, that was saying it lightly.
Bones smiled a small smile and suddenly looked very sheepish. He opened his mouth to say something but then seemed to think better of it.
"I'll see you in sickbay in 10 minutes" said McCoy as he put the disk on the desk and walked towards the doors. They opened but before he walked out of the room he turned around and faced him. "And you better not be late!" Bones scowled at him and then continued to walk out of the room as the doors softly closed behind him.
For a long moment he stared at the doors as he thought about the conversation he just had, he had a best friend that anyone would be lucky enough to have. He smiled as he placed the disk back in the slot and switched the recorder back on to continue his goodbye.
"They are most difficult to defend, but you will find that he is deserving of the same loyalty and confidence each of you have given me."
And they have given him so much loyalty. He had lost count how many times they were willing to sacrifice themselves fro him, the amount of times that they had followed him and trusted him with their lives. Spock and McCoy were much more then comrades, best friends they were his brothers. Right then he knew how to end it.
Two very simple words.
"Take care."
Yes that was his final wish. That Spock and Bones would both …
Take Care.
AUTHOR NOTE: 2 words - Please review.