DISCLAIMER: I do not own Digimon or any of its characters. I just like to torture them. Please don't sue. I don't own Swiffers, either (you'll see when you read it), but they work, so I'm giving them free advertising. Swiffers rule! ^_^**
Authoress's Notes: Well, lookee here. A Takari. I got the idea, and it really wouldn't have worked with Daikari. ¬_¬* (Yeah, I know...that sucks.) I guess I could have done some other couple; Jyoumi, Taiora. Heh, if it was a non-happy ending, I would have done Mimato to show my undying hate...but I only write happy endings. Anyway, Daisuke and Takeru are the two easiest guys for me to get inside their head, and I just got done saying that Daikari wasn't an option...soooooooooo... ^.^*
And by the way, to avoid complications, this is *before* Takato is in Kari's class. For those who might think that Kari isn't really Takato's teacher, all you gotta do is watch the credits. They say that Kari is voiced by Lara Jill Miller--the same chick who did it the first two seasons. And none of the other old DigiDestined are listed, save Davis, who's doing the "Next time on Digimon: Digital Monsters!" thing. (So long as they got rid of the Pokémon dude...:-p) So there to the doubters!
The bitter tears stung his eyes as he watched the scenery pass by the window. ~That's the trouble with trains, you don't have much time to study the view before it flashes by and is gone,~ he thought. ~Maybe never to be seen again. Apparently, kind of like love.~
It seemed like yesterday that Hikari had loved him.
~Hell, yesterday I thought that I knew that she did.~
She hadn't, though. Not for weeks, maybe months. He hadn't stuck around long enough to discuss anything in-depth. He hadn't even bothered to find out if there was another guy. But he was fairly sure that there wasn't.
She had seemed so sad to tell him about it, though.
"Takeru," she had said. "Takeru, please, sit down." He'd been about to kiss her after her hard day's work. Not that his working on a novel was an easy job, but she had more physical labor in being a teacher.
He'd listened and sat on the bed.
"We have to talk," she'd said.
"So, then, talk," he'd told her.
"Takeru, I...I...there's no easy way, to tell you this...but, I...I...I don't think I love you anymore."
~Knock me over with a feather!~
"What? Five years of marriage--five incredibly happy years at that--and now, out of the blue, you don't love me anymore? Why? Why?! I still love you. I love you more than when I married you. Every day I love you more! And now, now, you're saying that you don't love me, at all?"
Hikari had started to cry. "Takeru--Takeru, please understand--"
"No. No, I don't understand. When we got married, I promised to love you forever and never once have I wavered. My love for you has only grown stronger. I promised myself years ago that I wasn't going to get married until I was sure, and I was sure. I am sure. I love you, Hikari," he had said, resisting the overwhelming urge to take her in his arms and prove it right then and there.
"Do you love me, or do just want to prove everyone wrong? Is this about us or about not ending up like your parents?"
He had blinked, taken aback. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind. He had been so stunned and angered by that, he hadn't known what to do. So he'd thundered downstairs, grabbed his jacket off the coat rack, patted the pocket to be sure that his wallet was there, and boarded the closest train.
Hikari hadn't followed him. That was what caused him the most pain right now. She hadn't chased him down the stairs, snatched his jacket and hung it back up, and tried to convince him to stay and talk it out.
~But then, she had no way of knowing where I was going, and maybe she would have tried to stop me if she had. But, on the same note, for all she knows I'm going to jump off a bridge. Shouldn't she have tried to at least make sure that *that* wasn't the case? Is she so far out of love with me that she doesn't even care if I do?~
The thoughts tumbled around, aimlessly. One minute he was sure something was proof that she just wasn't sure right now, that she really did still love him, but the conclusion that the thought would lead him to was proof positive that she hated him.
He wasn't sure how long he was on the train. It must have been two or three hours by now. His ticket would take him to the end of the line. Anytime he wanted, he could get off and buy a ticket home.
He sighed. Life was over. The only girl he had ever loved, the only woman he ever could have married, had just decided to walk out on him.
He wished one minute that Patamon was there to talk to him, and then found himself glad the next minute that Patamon wasn't there because he didn't want to explain everything.
He wanted to talk to someone--anyone--desperately, but Hikari wasn't an option at that moment for obvious reasons, and he was sure it wouldn't do anything for their relationship--if anything could be done--to tell anyone else.
The train began lurching to a halt, and Takeru decided to head home--broken as it may be. He got off, bought a ticket back to Odaiba, and boarded the train back.
~Why? What happened? I never neglected her. Support, attention, love. I listen to her when she talks. We compromise when we have our quarrels, I help out around the house--hell, I do more than she does.~
After a while, the swaying motion of the train lulled him to sleep. He woke up at every stop along the way and went back to sleep, until finally he got to his stop.
He walked home, trying to think what could have gone wrong. When he got to his and Hikari's house, he let himself in the back door, hung his jacket back up, and yelled, "Hikari! Are you here?" He made his way to the living room, and saw her descending the stairs. She halted halfway down. She had changed out of her teacher clothes and into jeans and an old, ratty pink t-shirt. It was low-cut and close-fitting, and Takeru couldn't help but notice how beautiful she still was.
"Takeru..." she whispered.
"Why, Hikari? I have gone over every little thing about our relationship, and I can't figure out what you think I've done. And I know that you haven't done anything, like I said, I love you more now than ever before..."
She hung her head, her cheeks burning. "Takeru, please. Just stop. It's nothing that you've done, or neglected. I...I just...I don't know. I'm not happy anymore."
"It'll pass..."
"No. This isn't what I pictured my life being like."
"We can change. I will do whatever it takes...I love you, Hikari." He took a step towards her, and she backed up onto the next-highest step.
"No...no...it's too late..."
"Hikari, what do you want from me?"
Hikari bit her lip. She had yet to look up at him. Tears started streaming down her face. "A...a...a...a divorce."
Takeru staggered. ~No...NO! Anything but that! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!...~ He almost said it aloud. Instead, he mustered his courage and asked, "Hikari, are you serious?"
She could only nod without crying.
"But--but--I...*love*...you..."
"Takeru, I know you do. It's not a question of your love for me...it's a question of my love for you. There's not anyone else--"
"How could there be? If you are so easily disenchanted with me, how could any other man bring himself to truly love you? How would he ever be assured that you wouldn't do this same thing to him? I don't even know why I love you right now, even though I do, more than ever..."
Hikari looked up with an expression of utter shock on her face, as if he had called her a dirty word. And then she promptly burst into tears. She ran up the stairs, and Takeru wasted no time in following her.
Up the stairs, down the hallway. She tried to slam the door of their bedroom in his face, but he was too fast. He shoved his way in, and then slammed it behind him and locked it.
"You have to give me a reason. Just one good reason, Hikari. That's all I ask right now. You say there's no one else, and I believe you. You say that I'm a good husband, and not to sound conceited, but I know that it's true. I know I'm not hampering your career, and if I am, all you have to do is say the word and I'll do whatever it takes to help. When we were fifteen we promised to love each other forever, and I've held up my end of the bargain for almost ten years, and I still am holding it. When and why did you drop yours?"
Hikari looked around. There was no way of escape short of jumping from a window, and she wasn't that desperate.
"I've noticed it for a while...several weeks--about...about--three? Yes. Three months...but it wasn't until today that I realized that I don't love you. I want a divorce," she repeated. It had come chokingly the first time, but the word was so easy now, now that it was out in the open.
"Just like that? Couldn't we try some other things first? A marriage counselor, separating..."
"Fine. We'll separate," she said. "You stay here, I'll go stay with...with..." Hikari racked her brain. Not with Taichi and Sora, she couldn't intrude on them, especially not with their kids. Not Miyako and Ken--Miyako had enough problems, being pregnant with their third child. Iori was in a dorm at law school, and that wouldn't be right anyway, since he wasn't married yet...wait! "I'll stay with Daisuke and his wife."
Takeru blinked. "'Suke and Kaori?"
"Why not? They have a big apartment."
"Hikari..."
"Takeru..."
Takeru bit his lip. "Hikari...why don't you love me?"
"Everything is always the same, Takeru. Our love isn't growing. Something's missing."
"So you just decided that because we're in a rut, you don't love me."
"No. I just think that neither of us is being fulfilled in this relationship, so we both ought to go out and look for something better."
That hurt. Her wanting a divorce had driven into him like a knife, and now she was twisting it. Not only had she quit loving him, but she wanted him to stop loving her.
~Yeah, like *that's* going to happen.~
"What do you think is missing?" Takeru ventured. "We can..."
"If I knew, I would have tried it already."
Takeru looked down, then lifted his eyes, piercing into her soul. "Fine. Kill me. Call Daisuke and see when he can come get you. I'll be in my study." He let himself out and stormed down the hall to his office/study, to get his mind off it all by working on his book.
Hikari sat on the bed and shed a few tears. Finally, she reached for the phone and angrily punched in Daisuke's number. She glanced outside at the setting sun as the phone rang. ~There was a time when I would have gone down to his study and dragged him outside to watch that--~
"Moshi, moshi, Motomiya desu." It was Kaori, Daisuke's pretty, young wife of three years.
Hikari sighed. "Hi, Kaori. Is 'Suke there?"
"Sure, Hikari, just a moment." Kaori set down the phone and Hikari heard her walk away to retrieve her husband and bring him to the kitchen. In a few moments Daisuke was on the line.
"Hikari?"
"Oh, 'Suke!" Hikari began to cry.
"Whoa...Hikari, calm down. What's the matter?"
"I need a place to stay...can I come stay with you?"
Daisuke gulped. He had to know the situation. Takeru was his best friend, Hikari was his friend, he had to know more. "Not until you explain what's going on," he said carefully.
"'Suke, I...I...I just told Takeru that I...I want...to...I want a divorce. And he thinks we should separate first. I have to find a place to stay for a little while. Please, 'Suke?"
"Why is he staying there?" Daisuke asked, a little incensed that Takeru wasn't the one calling him.
"My suggestion. Please, 'Suke. If you ever cared about me..."
Daisuke inhaled sharply. He had. Even after he had figured out that he didn't love her romantically, she had become one of his best friends. "Why? What happened to you and Takeru? I care about him, too, you know. Is he okay with this?"
Hikari shed a few more tears. "Not...not yet. He said...he said it would kill him for me to leave...but...but...he said to call you anyway."
Daisuke sighed, glancing up at the ceiling. ~Lord, please, why me?~
Hikari was still talking. "Our relationship is going nowhere. I don't love him any more. I should love him more than ever. 'Suke..."
"You know that we don't have a guest room. You'll be on the couch."
"Yes, 'Suke, I know. It's not like I'll be sharing it with anyone..." Hikari sniffled. "Please? Ask Kaori."
"Just a second." Daisuke set the phone on the counter and rubbed his temples. ~Why?~ Well, he couldn't just let her stay. He couldn't tell her no. He walked out to the living room. "Kaori-chan...Takeru and Hikari are having problems. She needs to get away for a bit and cool down. Would you mind if she stayed here?"
Kaori tilted her dark-haired head, with naturally blue-toned streaks catching the light. "I don't see why not, if it's only temporary."
Daisuke nodded. "I'll go get her as soon as I get off the phone." He returned to the kitchen. "Hikari?"
"I'm still here."
"Kaori doesn't mind, at least not on a temporary basis. I'll come get you right now--*if* this is what you really want."
"It is. Can we talk in the car? Please? I have to pack some stuff."
"Yeah. I'll leave right away, so you only have about thirty minutes."
"Thank you, 'Suke. I can't thank you enough. I'll be ready and waiting on the porch..."
"Don't. I want to talk to Takeru before I leave that house."
Hikari gulped. "He's upset, and he's working on the book..."
Daisuke knew Takeru hated interruptions when he was working, but he also knew that Takeru seldom liked the stuff that he wrote when he was in his angry moments, and most of what he wrote right now would be re-written anyway. He sighed. "Well, tough. I'm not bringing you here until I talk to him. He'll just have to be interrupted once." He hung up.
Hikari stared at the phone. She was too upset to be upset at Daisuke, too, so she hung up the phone and went to the closet for a duffel bag.
Of course. The only one there *would* be Takeru's. Well, fine. She quickly scribbled a note saying where hers was if he needed one. It wasn't like he'd be going anywhere anytime soon.
She packed all her "teacher clothes", and three pairs of jeans, and a few t-shirts. As soon as she found a place of her own she could come back for the rest. She *would* have to find a place of her own, eventually. She filled the rest of the bag with "necessities".
The doorbell rang just as she was zipping the bag. She grabbed her jacket, slung it on, and went into the hall with her bag--coming out exactly the same moment as Takeru.
He took a good, long look at her filled-to-capacity bag. "Fine, you get it."
"No, he wants to talk to you..." Hikari choked.
Takeru ran down the stairs. Hikari followed, slower. Daisuke caught a glimpse of her just as he was trying to get a conversation going with Takeru.
He tilted his head at her. "Go on and get in the car. I'll be there in a minute."
Hikari just nodded and disappeared out the door, not glancing back at Takeru.
"Takeru, I just want you to know that this is as much of a surprise for me as it is for you. I'm only letting her come because I think that if she gets away from you and cools down, she'll miss you and she'll see that she loves you just fine. She just needs a break, that's all."
Takeru looked at Daisuke, steely-eyed. "You say that now, but talk to her, and see what she says. She's so...irrational, I guess. Amazing how my words are so good on a computer screen but fail me so badly when I try to talk. She means business. I probably won't ever see her again until divorce court. And she just breezed out that door, right past you and me, and didn't even look back at me. Didn't smile sadly at me, didn't even acknowledge me." Takeru was waving his arms around, on the verge of ranting.
"She's scared," Daisuke said simply.
That stopped Takeru short. "Do you really believe that?"
"Look, buddy, all I know is that I think things will work out if you're patient. If I was you, I wouldn't call her at all. Let her come back to you. She'll see that she misses you, you two will be okay."
"It still hurt." Takeru almost pouted.
"Did you expect marriage to be easy? Look, you sit in that air-conditioned office of yours every day. You lock yourself away, at least until Hikari gets home anyway. You sit in there all cushy and you relive those battles with Digimon every day. *Every* *day*. And then you just expect other things to be easy compared to that. Well, guess what. Marriage is hard! I know it wasn't easy, not at all, but you can't just *expect*...*everything* to be easy compared to saving the world. You have to judge each issue on its own. There's no scale, and it's relative. Some people have easy marriages because they're just married for money or convenience or whatever and they don't even interact. Some people would have failed at saving the world. Maybe for you marriage is a lot of work and you were getting behind on your chores, maybe you had to do a lot but you liked doing it. Maybe all Hikari wanted you to do was be there and you were doing too much. I don't know, it's not my marriage. All I know is that the girl who called me and is sitting in my car right now is scared to death and the reason she's running to me is that I am her friend. I'm your friend, too, though, so I'm walking a thin line. And if you had been the one to call me, I would be having this conversation with her and you'd be waiting for me in the car, okay?"
Takeru nodded. "She's killing me. She didn't even look at me."
"You said that already, and you know what I think?" Daisuke barreled ahead before Takeru could answer that. "I think that the reason she didn't look back is because she had to get up a lot of guts, and she cares about you so much that she was afraid that if she *did* look at you, her resolve would melt."
Takeru bit his lip. "Really?"
"Yeah, buddy. Remember, don't call, at least not to talk directly to her. If she picks up, tell her it's imperative that you talk to me. And I'll try to hammer some sense into her. If miracles still happen--and they do, I never did find that DigiEgg, so it's floating out there somewhere waiting for the right time--I might be back before I even get all the way home."
"I doubt it."
"Well, so do I, but keep your fingers crossed, okay?"
Takeru nodded.
Daisuke walked out to the car and heard the door close behind him.
Takeru leaned against the door. Maybe all was not lost.
Finally, the emotion overcame him again. A whine came into his voice as the tears finally broke through again.
"Kami...I lost her..."
He slid, his back to the door, down until he was sitting on the welcome mat, and then buried his face in his knees and cried unashamedly.
Hikari knew she was in for a chewing-out the minute Daisuke buckled his seat belt.
"I hope you know what you're doing. You're leaving a broken heart in there."
Hikari bit her lip.
"Well?"
"I don't love him."
"He loves you plenty! I had to try to convince him that you would be back soon, or he never would have let me go. He was practically begging for reassurance, anything that might mean that there was the slimmest of chances that there's a tiny possibility that you might, *someday*, come back to him."
"I'm not going back."
Daisuke slammed on the brakes in frustration as the light turned red. "You've put me in a very awkward situation. I have to try to sympathize with both of you and you're on totally different sides of the fence. So far, Takeru is making a hell of a lot more sense than you."
"Then why don't you just pull over? I'll get out, I'll find some gutter to sleep in until I can get an apartment."
"Because I care about you too, even if I think you're confused."
Hikari sighed and turned away, intently focusing on the other people's houses outside her window until that thought could settle, and waited for him to start talking again.
"Hikari. Listen. I think that right now you're scared of how you feel, you're confused, and all you want is some comfort--but Heaven forbid you get it from Takeru, because he's the one making you feel like this."
She turned back to face him. "I don't love him. Not at all."
Daisuke sighed. "You're getting repetitive."
"The only reason I agreed to separate rather than rush off for a divorce is not because I think there's a chance for us, but because I want him to understand that there's no one else. I'm not looking for another man."
"What man would take you after you did this to Takeru?"
"That's funny; he said the same thing."
"There is one man that would take you."
Hikari gasped. No, the crush had ended long ago--
"NO, NOT ME!" Daisuke yelled, hearing her gasp, but he quickly gathered up his composure. "Not me. Takeru. Takeru is the only man on earth who loves you enough to take you back after all you've hurt him. After you put a knife through his heart and twisted it three or four times by now, he still loves you with everything that heart has left."
"It's going to dwindle if I keep twisting."
"Then stop twisting, for Pete's sake!"
"I can't help it!" Hikari turned to her window for another time-out, until Daisuke calmed down.
It didn't take but a few minutes.
"Hikari, you've repeated yourself. You say you don't love him anymore. Can you tell me why?"
"He asked for reasons, too. Or, more precisely, one reason."
"And you told him...?"
"That there's something missing in our life together that we might be able to find separately."
"What could possibly be missing?"
"If I knew that, I wouldn't be having this conversation!"
"Don't get on my case, you're the heartbreaker, it's not my fault."
Hikari nodded. "It's not your fault," she agreed. Funny, it was the first time she'd agreed with anyone that day.
"Do you really think you're doing the right thing?"
"Yes."
"I mean, not the right thing for just you, but the right thing for your relationship with Takeru?"
"What relationship? If I don't love him, then I don't see..."
Daisuke sighed. "Fine. Just, think about it, okay? We're here, anyway."
Hikari nodded and unbuckled her seat belt as Daisuke pulled into the apartment parking garage into his assigned space. He carried her bag to the apartment, and she meekly followed behind.
Kaori had already fixed up the couch with blankets and sheets. Daisuke set the bag down next to it and wordlessly moved to the back of the apartment to find Kaori. Hikari sat on the couch for a minute, and soon Kaori appeared in the living room. "What's going on, Hikari?" She sat next to her.
No one would understand like a woman--but then, Kaori was a woman who was deeply in love with her husband--Hikari knew they were trying for their first child. That might make a difference.
Hikari simply shook her head. "I--I don't want to talk about it. And don't tell me it's good to talk about it." Kaori didn't know her like Daisuke. Or...like Takeru. Hikari sighed. Tomorrow, after she got back here from work, she'd call Miyako. Not that Miyako and Ken were having any troubles, but Miyako knew her.
Kaori shook her head. "It's not good to not talk about it," she said quietly. She stood and left Hikari to her thoughts.
Hikari's thoughts were nothing short of scrambled. She was glad to be away from Takeru, instead of lying next to him, not loving him.
It was ironic. When they had been teens, after the "Oikawa Incident", after the world discovered Digimon, she had loved to get away to the DigiWorld with her Takeru. They'd go on a picnic, they'd go and she would read poetry to him, or he would read novels to her, but things always ended the same way. They would lie wrapped in each other's arms in the shade of a tree. They didn't do anything wrong, ever--in fact, more often than not, they didn't even kiss--but Hikari had thought that there was nothing she wanted more than to be able to do that forever--just feel his protective touch, stare into his azure eyes, and let everything else become meaningless to her.
And now, she didn't even want to be in the same room with him.
~Why?~ she asked herself. ~Where did we go wrong?~
It seemed that one day, she had just stopped loving him, and hadn't even realized it. It took three months to dawn on her.
She thought of all the times she had let Takeru kiss her--and beyond--that had taken place in those three months, and color crept to her cheeks. ~Why? Why didn't I notice it *then*, of all times?~ True, it wasn't like she didn't enjoy it herself, but she wouldn't want to do it with a stranger. In fact, it was Takeru that made it enjoyable.
She shook her head. That train of thought was getting her nowhere.
So when had she quit loving him and why? Maybe Takeru and Daisuke were right. Maybe she just needed to get away from Takeru so she could figure it out, and then they could fix it.
~No, we could never fix it. I've hurt him. I didn't enjoy hurting him, but the choice was hurt him or destroy myself, my heart, my very soul. But, it would still be nice to know where I screwed up. I know it's me. Takeru still loves me, so it has to be me. There's something wrong with me or I wouldn't be so thickheaded as to not love him any more. He loves me, he helps out, we compromise when we argue. He's lacking nothing of being the perfect husband. So, obviously, the imperfection is in me...~
Takeru sighed in his sleep. His dream caused him to startle, and he jerked awake. He reached across the bed to find reassurance in the fact that Hikari was beside him, and found none. He spent several minutes groping across the bed before remembering the nightmare that he'd had earlier when he had been awake.
~Damn, she's really gone.~
It didn't hurt so bad. *Her* saying that she wanted to leave hurt like being torn in half, right down the middle, but *his* restating it in his mind didn't bother him. His mind hardly ever bothered him. He had to use it to think of things for his characters to say, and, more recently, to relive intense battles where he had nearly died. He thought of all kinds of heated arguments at times. Sometimes he laughed because he was so clever, but he never was hurt by character's words. Anything that ran through his head didn't affect him directly. Anything that anyone else told him, however, had the capability to hurt him.
Sometimes his characters got upset and even angry and yelled and screamed at each other and fought. The hard part was getting inside the head of both parties, sometimes to make one seem saintly and one devilish, other times to make it seem like they both had valid points and leave one unsure of who to root for.
He tried to get inside Hikari's head, but found it impossible.
It was hot. He threw off his blankets, and realized he'd laid down fully dressed. He stripped to his shorts and groped for the blanket again. Not exactly the nicest situation that could cause him to strip. Certain memories of Hikari shoved his way to the front of his mind, but he repressed them effectually by thinking of what was going to happen the next day. It wasn't like he had to get up and go to work. He'd probably sleep late, get up and eat lunch, call Daisuke at work and see what Hikari had been like that morning, work on the book until he felt sleepy, call Daisuke and see how Hikari was doing, and go to bed so the whole vicious cycle could start again.
~Not a pleasant prospect. Maybe it's avoidable--maybe even now Hikari's crying out my name, wanting to come back to me, and they're telling her to wait until morning.~ He didn't want them to wait! He wanted her now!
But no, he was pretty sure that that wasn't the case. It would be a while, even according to Daisuke, who always looked on the bright side.
He tried to retrace his steps back to what he'd been thinking of before realizing he was in his clothes. Oh yes. Getting inside Hikari's head.
~Impossible.~
But he thought of all the arguments he'd written. Of that no matter how erroneous a person was, they never argued unless they thought they were right.
So did Hikari really believe that she didn't love him? Takeru's understanding of human nature told him ~Of course she does!~, but his heart tried to tell him otherwise.
~Damn this author's brain!~ He *had* to listen to his head. It was usually right. ~So what did I do wrong? I love her, she quit loving me. *She* quit. So, therefore, I did something, or didn't do something, and my mistake made her quit loving me.~
The first thing Takeru did when he woke was check the clock.
~Ten, already!~ Well, he'd been up half the night, he hadn't set the alarm, so he was bound to sleep late.
Hikari would be at work; so would Daisuke. Kaori would be home.
Takeru forced himself out of bed and into the shower. He got dressed in hang-around-the-house clothes. He ate a light breakfast, so he'd still be hungry enough to eat lunch later. Finally, he could wait no longer. He bolted for the phone and called Kaori.
"Moshi, moshi, Motomiya desu. Kaori speaking."
Takeru sighed, relieved that she wasn't out. "Kaori. Hi. Can you tell me how Hikari was this morning?"
"She's barely spoken a word to me since she got here last night, Takeru, except to say stuff like 'I'm not ready to talk about it', 'Where's the cream cheese for the bagels?', 'Do you mind if I use your conditioner? I forgot mine'. She's more open with Daisuke--but then, that only makes sense, he knows her a lot better than I do."
"But, Kaori, was she happy? Was she crying? What?"
"Takeru...I just said Daisuke knows her a lot better. That should lead you to the conclusion that I don't know her very well at all. But...even from an outsider's point of view, she was pretty obviously out of it."
"Out of it?"
"Not talking, not hearing what you said to her until the third or fourth time, being kinda klutzy. Stuff like that."
"Oh...is there anything else I should know?"
"Daisuke would be the one to ask. You have his work number."
"Yeah. Okay, I'll call him, then."
"You do that. Bye."
"Bye."
So Takeru called Daisuke in his office. Daisuke was allowed personal calls, it came when you became a manager of a restaurant.
"Noodles Galore, Motomiya Daisuke speaking."
Takeru snickered. "Hey, Motomiya."
Daisuke knew exactly why Takeru had called, he didn't need to be prompted. "Hikari was out of it, she barely talked this morning; last night I didn't make any progress other than to establish that I think you're in the right and I'm helping her out because I care about her, not because I agree with her, and if the roles were reversed I'd think she was right and you'd be sleeping on my couch."
"Thanks...but, do you think--you know?"
"Today will not be the day."
"Did she tell you her reason for not loving me anymore?"
"That ambiguous crud about 'something missing from our life together that we might be able to find separately'? Yeah."
"Do you believe it?"
"I believe she's convinced herself to believe it. Look, Takeru, eat lunch. Then clean the house. The whole house. Give it a spring cleaning. I noticed the entryway last night--it's dusty. Then work on your book until, like, it's time for bed. Tonight you set your alarm and get up at the right time. Get dressed every day, change your shorts, shave. Don't start growing a beard or wearing the same clothes for a week or anything. Eat three meals every day--real food, peanut butter and jelly doesn't count. Take care of yourself. It won't necessarily be the day, but treat every day like Hikari's coming home in a few hours, okay? You never know when she might, and you don't want her to come home to some guy who looks like he's going to be Robinson Crusoe for a costume party. She'd run screaming and *never* come back."
Daisuke managed to make Takeru laugh if nothing else--and Takeru had definitely not been in the mood to laugh. "I promise."
"Good. Now get off the phone and put that lazy butt of yours to work!"
"Aye, aye, Captain," Takeru said, and hung up.
He looked around the kitchen. It *was* a little messy. The sink had some dishes, and he knew the dishwasher was nearly full. He hadn't dusted the area above the cabinets in forever and he knew he had a new box of Swiffer cloths somewhere...and he could mop while he was at it...
He walked back into the pantry/laundry room. A load of laundry was sitting on top of the washing machine. Yeah, he'd go get whatever might be in the hampers and take care of that...
Hikari sighed. The last stragglers in her classroom had cleared out, and she was dusting the blackboard. Her students had behaved fairly well today, there was no excuse for her to have one of them do it.
Still, today had not been a good day. She'd managed not to forget any of the papers she needed, but after walking around the building for three hours she discovered her skirt was on inside-out. She'd lost an earring back at lunch. One of her students had reminded her that it was essay day--after she'd gotten up early that morning to prepare the lesson.
As soon as the blackboard--which had always irritated her by technically being a greenboard--was dust-free, she allowed herself to slam her head against it.
"Takaishi-san?" An older fellow teacher looked at her understandingly.
Hikari looked up, blushing. "Oh, Yanehiro-san."
"Bad day?"
"Worse."
"Want to talk?" Mr. Yanehiro, a man entering his fifties, had a fatherly aura to him, and this was his specialty--giving advice to other teachers.
Hikari nodded, and sat on her desk, motioning for him to take the chair, which he did.
"What's the trouble?"
"Me," Hikari said, recklessly.
"You?"
"I...I left my husband last night. I really don't know why; he's the perfect husband, and perfect for me, but I'm not happy."
Mr. Yanehiro blinked. "I thought maybe it was something to do with the kids today...I didn't realize--you know, if this is too personal--"
"No, please, I've been craving an outsider's opinion. Only my husband and our two dear friends that I'm staying with know about this, and they all think I should go back to him, even though I've plainly stated that I don't love him any more."
"Do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Love him? You just said that you *stated* you didn't love him. You can *state* something and be lying through your teeth."
Hikari blinked. "That's a bit presumptuous...but I deserved that." She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, and looked her coworker straight in the eyes. "No. I don't love him."
"Why? Be candid."
She tilted her head. "I don't know. But please, don't be scientific. Love doesn't fit into science."
"Tough for a science teacher..."
"Let me put it this way," she said. "My husband knows how to do a lot of household chores and he does all he can, he's home more than me, he does the majority of the work."
"Okay."
"And, he's a strong guy. He's physically attractive, and good at the--physical side--of--of love as well as the stuff like flowers, and candy, and a card on my birthday. He's devoted. He's faithful, he's never thought of any other woman besides me from the time we were both fifteen."
"Sounds like a great guy."
"He is--and I'm not the only one who thinks so. All my friends, all my family, everybody likes him. His few enemies are people who set out to hate him from the beginning--not people he ticked off or decided to hate. I like his family. Our two families get along."
"Allow me to amend myself--he sounds like the perfect husband. I can't see why you don't love him."
"He is. But, if you had all that--helping around the house, love, getting along with everyone, so on and so forth--"
"Who's to say I don't?"
"Play along, will you? I didn't mean it that way. Let me finish. Assuming you had all that, why shouldn't I love you? Why him?"
"Ah...perfection doesn't mean as much once you've attained it. I see your point, and it works, in theory."
"You sound like my old friend Izzy."
"I'll take that as a compliment, and explain to you the way science *can* play into love. The way you are--the quirks you have, the things you like and dislike, so on and so forth, are so particular, so unique, that the odds of you finding someone who balances them perfectly are less than one in a trillion."
"I've got you so far."
"So you find the next-best thing--someone who balances them close to perfectly. After a while you get used to the way you fit together. Even though you don't balance each other perfectly, you *like* the places where you're not balanced out. You're used to them and you don't want to change them. So, if you get tired of someone, and leave him, the odds of finding someone who matches you even better are less than one-tenth in ten trillion. So, anyone you find later, if their quirks and yours don't match up *exactly* the same as yours and your first partner's, you'll think that they are not as good as your first partner was. That's one of the many, many reasons that it's best to stick with your first choice."
"But there's not another *choice*. I just...I left. There's no one *else*. I don't *want* there to be anyone else."
Mr. Yanehiro sighed. "So you think loneliness is going to match you better than your husband?"
Hikari frowned, and immediately got on the defensive. "And what makes you such an expert?"
"I left my first wife. Then I figured this out, and realized I did love her. I was going to call her and apologize and try to get back together, as soon as I got off work. I got home and my brother had left a message to meet him at the hospital immediately. I got there, and they said they tried to reach me, but now it was too late. My wife had been in a subway wreck and had been in critical condition--and she died just a few moments before I got there."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Hikari said, in sympathy.
"It's not your fault. Anyway, I decided that my theory was probably wrong, and I tried to love again."
"And?"
"And I was right after all--I've been in two sloppy marriages since my first wife, I've never been able to love anyone quite like I loved her. I'm married again now, and it's only been two years, but we're already going downhill."
Hikari hung her head. "You think I ought to go back to him?"
"I think you're just going through a stage and if you'd pull your head out of the clouds, you'd see that you love him, and so, yes, I think you ought to go back to him." Hikari set her jaw stubbornly and was about to say something, but he stood and started to leave. "Good day."
She blinked, and walked out into the hall. He was gone. She leaned against the wall. She had to hurry or she'd miss her train.
She was so confused...
By the time Takeru sat down, the house was spotless. Almost like the day he and Hikari had moved in, only, with furniture this time.
Emotionally, the hardest part had been doing laundry. Her clothes were all over the place. Jeans, t-shirts, low-necked blouses, shorts. All the ones he thought she looked best in--but, then, there were very few of her clothes that he didn't like her in.
~Damn this!~ his mind screamed.
He checked the clock. Quarter to four. Hikari would probably be getting to Daisuke and Kaori's place any minute.
Hikari walked up out of the subway terminal. She blinked as her eyes tried to readjust to the light. Daisuke and Kaori's building was only a block up, across the street. She checked both ways, left, right, and left again like she taught the young kids, back when she substituted for the kindergarten teacher, back when she was getting her degree.
Back before Takeru had popped the question.
But, she had almost made up her mind riding on the train. She still cared about Takeru. They had some things to work out, but she *did* care about him, if only a little.
~I will call him as soon as I get to the apartment. I have to talk to him.~
Between her thoughts and not being able to see quite right in the light, she never saw the car come around the corner.
CAR!?
Things became a blur--she felt herself scream, and go flying into the street. She was aware of pain--excruciating pain--but where it was or why she felt it, she had no idea. She heard other people yelling and someone desperately seeking a cell phone.
Someone bent over her. "Hikari? Hikari?"
"Kaori...?" she whispered, before everything went black.
Takeru looked up, startled, as the phone rang.
"Moshi. mo--"
"Save it, Takeru. Get your butt down to the hospital."
"What? Daisuke?"
"Kaori just called me from a pay phone near our house. She had just left to go for a walk and she saw Hikari heading to our place, and then saw Hikari get hit by a car."
"What!? Is she all right? Where is she?"
"Hospital, duh! They wouldn't Kaori ride with Hikari in the ambulance when it got there because she wasn't family. I'm leaving work, I'll meet you at the hospital. Kaori too."
"Daisuke, how is she?"
"I don't know! I wasn't there, and I haven't talked to any doctors! Just haul! Get to the hospital!" Daisuke hung up.
Takeru didn't think. He just got into the car and drove.
Daisuke and Kaori beat Takeru there, even though Takeru was technically closer.
"Where were you?" Daisuke yelled.
"I had to convince a cop that it was an emergency so I wouldn't get a ticket. Where is she?"
"I don't know," Daisuke said. "They won't let us in yet, and they said that when she was allowed to have visitors, it would be family first."
"And you don't know *how* she is, either, do you?" Takeru sighed sarcastically, lowering himself into the chair next to Daisuke.
"No." Daisuke was quiet. "Family thing...and, you know, they haven't been asking for anyone either."
"So they're not done with her yet?"
"That'd be my guess."
Kaori sat, quietly observing the other people. This was a friend-to-friend thing.
Takeru leaned back in his chair, preparing himself for a long, relatively silent wait, and Daisuke followed suit.
Relative silence. If the sounds that meant something to you were the only sounds you heard, then it was possible to experience absolute silence. Takeru was experiencing it in the noisy waiting room. His author's brain stowed the thought away for later, it would come in handy later.
Takeru sat, hearing nothing that went on. He saw everything, and always snapped to attention whenever a doctor entered the room and started asking for someone--and always slumped back down when he didn't hear his name. Then he heard nothing again, until another doctor appeared.
By the fifth doctor, he didn't even sit up, he just jerked his eyes in the doctor's general direction and waited to hear what name he called. He'd been memorizing the names to pass the time, names were something he went through a lot of when writing a new story. He almost fell out of his chair when the doctor consulted his clipboard and asked for "Mr. Takaishi Takeru?"
Daisuke pushed Takeru up out of the chair and gave him a nudge in the doctor's direction. "Kaori gave them your name as well as Hikari's. Go!"
Takeru took the hint and made his way over to the doctor. "I'm Takeru..."
"I'm Doctor Moto, I understand that you're Hikari's husband..."
The thought caught Takeru off guard, after spending a day trying to train himself out of answering to that--but he hadn't fully succeeded. "Yes, I am."
"Do you want me to explain her condition to you, or would you rather see her first?"
"I can see her? I have to see her!" Takeru exclaimed. He turned to Daisuke and held his hand up, meaning stay there and wait for me.
Dr. Moto nodded and led him out a different doorway and through a maze of hall that Takeru never noticed. When they finally stopped, Dr. Moto nodded at the door. "She's right in there. I'll be down this hall at the nurses' station." He pointed down toward a large wraparound desk.
Takeru nodded and watched him walk off. He put his hand on the handle, and for a brief second doubted his choice of not asking about Hikari's state. He had no idea what to expect. Could she have lost a limb? Could she be on life support? Could she be hooked up to so many wires that he couldn't even touch her? Could she be--
He stopped his gruesome train of thought and opened the door.
Could she possibly be leaning back on the tilted-up hospital bed, trying to get the TV remote to work?
Takeru blinked.
She was. She was awake, frowning at the little hunk of plastic and metal with rubber buttons, face contorted in frustration.
She hadn't heard him open the door, so he softly spoke her name. "Hikari?"
She turned her head and saw him peeking through a five-inch crack. She dropped the remote and her thoughts completely changed subjects.
"Takeru!" she cried. "Kami, Takeru, come here!"
He was taken aback, but came in, closed the door behind him, and came to her bedside. She tried to reach up to his neck and pull him down, but gasped in pain. "I can't reach up to you...could you come down here to me, please?"
"Huh?"
"Come down here. I--I want to kiss you."
"Hikari, did anything happen to your head? You know, yesterday you--"
"I know what I did yesterday, and I am so sorry...I know I can never make it up. Never. But I want to kiss you."
Takeru obliged her. He bent down and pressed his face close to hers. She kissed him passionately, and he did nothing to indicate that he objected. She went on for several minutes. Finally she stopped. "Please, sit down...we have a lot to talk about."
He sat in the chair beside her bed. "Yeah, I should say so...first off, are you okay?"
"No, that's later. *First*, I can't tell you enough how sorry I am. I do love you, and I'm an idiot. I am so, so sorry. I won't blame you if you decide that I've hurt you too badly--"
"No, Hikari. I would never do that." He placed his hand over hers, and smiled at her lovingly. "I still love you more than ever."
She let a tear slip down her cheek. "I don't know why--"
He lifted his hand to her cheek and wiped the teardrop away. "It doesn't matter why. I just do. And I want you to come home, and I want to love you."
"Really?" she whispered.
"Really. I really do."
Another tear fell, and he let it fall, because he knew it was a happy tear.
They just smiled at each other for a few minutes.
"Are you happy now, Hikari?"
"Yes. I am. You've forgiven me, that's all I wanted--and I have so much more than that to be grateful for."
He smiled some more. "So...what *did* happen to you?"
"The car hit me because I was thinking about us. And I was a little blind after coming up out of the subway tunnel. No matter. It hit me, and knocked me over. My right leg's broken, and I fractured two ribs--that's why I can't lift my arms, and I'm trying not to cry hard, because it hurts like hell."
Takeru laughed sympathetically.
"Anyway, I wasn't in a coma or anything. I was passed out from the pain."
Takeru nodded. "Other than that, you're okay?"
She sighed in relief. "Yes. Yes...and, miracle of miracles, the baby is okay."
Takeru nodded again. Then..."What? Could you repeat that 'miracle-of-miracles' thing?"
Hikari grinned. "The baby is perfectly fine, no problems. We'll be back here at the hospital in about six months."
Takeru stared. He blinked. "Hikari? You're...? We..."
She nodded, blushing. "I'm pregnant. Three months pregnant, according to the ultrasound. They're going to give me pictures from the ultrasound before I check out."
For once, Takeru could think of nothing to say. He simply stood and kissed her, and embraced her--carefully, keeping her ribs in mind.
In the middle of the kiss, the door opened a crack, and the happy couple heard Kaori saying, "I think they worked it out, Daisuke..."
Takeru immediately backed off, and they both smiled.
"Come on in," Hikari said. "And, yes, we did." She smiled. "I am so glad we did...yesterday was the most miserable day I have ever experienced..."
"You mean that, Hikari?" Takeru asked, barely able to believe his good fortune.
"Let me put it this way...I was going to call you as soon as I got to the apartment."
Takeru smiled and leaned back in his chair.
Hikari turned her head (turning her body was out of the question at the moment) toward him. "When do you want to start telling people?"
Takeru blinked. "Let's keep it our secret, just for today."
Hikari nodded. Of course, Daisuke tried begging them to tell him, but Takeru only promised that he'd be the first to know outside of family. Daisuke wasn't satisfied, but Takeru held his resolve smilingly.
Daisuke and Kaori were only able to stay long enough to ask Hikari what had happened to her and congratulate the couple on their rediscovered happiness, and then Dr. Moto stuck his head in and informed them that Hikari really needed to rest. Takeru asked if he had to leave and Dr. Moto assured him that he didn't, and if he wished, a rollaway cot could be brought so he didn't have to leave Hikari all night. Takeru wished.
Darkness had settled over the hospital room. "I love you," Hikari whispered.
"I love you, too." Takeru was down to his shorts again, not having any extra clothes. Oh well, he could fix that tomorrow. "And I already love our baby, too."
"Me too...You have any names in mind?"
Takeru sighed peacefully. "I always have names in mind--it comes with my trade, you know?"
Hikari giggled. "Yeah. I was thinking, if it's a boy, we could name him after our brothers."
"Taichi Yamato?"
"Or Yamato Taichi."
"Who ever would have thought that as much as they argued, one kid could end up uniting their names?"
Hikari giggled again. She felt like laughing, but she had tried that earlier and discovered it didn't do much for her ribs.
"And what if it's a girl?" Takeru ventured. "That'd be good, too..."
"Well, you know, it has to be one or the other."
Takeru laughed. "How about naming her after Miyako or Sora?"
"Or both?"
"With all these namesakes, I don't think we'll ever run out of choices..."
Hikari giggled. "No, but it's kind of a nice predicament, having so many close friends."
"Yeah..."
Hikari was checked out of the hospital the next day, although her lower leg was in a cast for three weeks--which she took off of work. Her ribs were sore for a while longer, but they healed, too.
When they got home, Hikari was impressed with how clean the house was. The first day was spent making phone calls to Mrs. Takaishi, Mr. Ishida, Matt, Mr. and Mrs. Kamiya, Tai and Sora, and all the rest of the DigiDestined.
The baby was due early in the summer; so Hikari decided that she would finish out the school year and then retire. The royalties from Takeru's assorted novels were starting to really come in--they might never be rich, but they were already doing quite well and her salary was becoming just a supplement to their income anyway.
Hikari's pregnancy was fairly easy; there were a few days of morning sickness but she never threw up; there were no complications.
The next June, on the tenth, she interrupted Takeru's writing, clutching at her stomach.
"It's time..."
Three hours later, at 3:07 p.m.,Yamato Taichi Takaishi came into the world, eight pounds, three ounces, twenty-three and a quarter inches long, and equipped with a well-functioning pair of lungs.
After the hubbub, after all the family and friends had come to see and hold the new little one and grant him their best wishes, after night had descended, things finally calmed down for the first time since Hikari had made her important two-word announcement mere hours earlier.
Once again, a cot had been brought in for Takeru, but this time, neither one of them could even think of sleep.
The proud parents were standing over his--there was only one "him" in their world right then--glass hospital crib and watched him sleep.
Takeru gently, nervously, leaned down and ran a finger over Yamato Taichi's tiny cheek, and played with his downy, fuzzy hair.
"He's perfect."
"Yes he is..." Hikari whispered. "Reminds me of you."
Takeru looked up at her, smiled, stood up straight, and wrapped his arms around her, leaning in for a kiss.
Eventually, they broke the kiss, but Takeru didn't let go of her. "Six months has changed us both a lot."
"Kami, six months ago I was picturing myself working hard just to get by alone. I was so stupid...this is so much better..."
"I agree." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "And then, this whole baby thing...I have learned more about pregnancy in the past six months than I did in twelve years of school...I think I might know as much as Jyou..."
Hikari laughed.
Yamato Taichi cooed, stretched out a hand, and pulled it back toward himself, falling back into sleep.
"I love you, Takeru."
"I love you, too."
"Do you think Yamato minds us using his name?"
"He's thrilled. I think Taichi was a bit miffed that his name wasn't first..."
"He'll get over it, he always does. Besides, we wouldn't want our son being confused with Tai Junior..."
Takeru snickered, then sobered. "Hikari, are you still happy with me?"
"You remember what I said about something being missing from our lives?"
Takeru nodded. "Yeah..."
"Well, I *was* right about that. I figured out what it was after the doctors finished setting my leg and ran down the list of my injuries."
"So what's missing?"
"*Was* missing, Takeru, *was*. He's sleeping right here," Hikari whispered, adjusting Yamato Taichi's blanket.
Takeru kissed her again.
A/N: *authoress uses up another Kleenex* Come on, aw with me. Awwwww. *giggles* Wasn't it cute? I'm sucha *sap*...I'm pathetic. I know, I was complaining about fics with Kari having an excess of accident/hospital scenes, but I'd like to think that this is different than most...seeing as no one dies, her injuries were of the kind that let her out the next day, and it had a happy ending (hey, I wrote it, didn't I? Of course it has a happy ending!) (Notice how I say I'd like to think that, but I don't say I actually *do* think that? ^.^*). I was going to have her just discover she was pregnant via drugstore pregnancy test, but it seemed anticlimactic, so...oh well...I have a Takari songfic in the works (meaning I have the song typed out ^.^*) and there's *not* going to be an accident in it...I know, I'm a Daikari fan (I'm being repetitive), but the song doesn't *fit* Daikari, just like this story. You'll see once I post it. ^_^ Now, I'm going to quit rambling so you can go on and review...
Authoress's Notes: Well, lookee here. A Takari. I got the idea, and it really wouldn't have worked with Daikari. ¬_¬* (Yeah, I know...that sucks.) I guess I could have done some other couple; Jyoumi, Taiora. Heh, if it was a non-happy ending, I would have done Mimato to show my undying hate...but I only write happy endings. Anyway, Daisuke and Takeru are the two easiest guys for me to get inside their head, and I just got done saying that Daikari wasn't an option...soooooooooo... ^.^*
And by the way, to avoid complications, this is *before* Takato is in Kari's class. For those who might think that Kari isn't really Takato's teacher, all you gotta do is watch the credits. They say that Kari is voiced by Lara Jill Miller--the same chick who did it the first two seasons. And none of the other old DigiDestined are listed, save Davis, who's doing the "Next time on Digimon: Digital Monsters!" thing. (So long as they got rid of the Pokémon dude...:-p) So there to the doubters!
The bitter tears stung his eyes as he watched the scenery pass by the window. ~That's the trouble with trains, you don't have much time to study the view before it flashes by and is gone,~ he thought. ~Maybe never to be seen again. Apparently, kind of like love.~
It seemed like yesterday that Hikari had loved him.
~Hell, yesterday I thought that I knew that she did.~
She hadn't, though. Not for weeks, maybe months. He hadn't stuck around long enough to discuss anything in-depth. He hadn't even bothered to find out if there was another guy. But he was fairly sure that there wasn't.
She had seemed so sad to tell him about it, though.
"Takeru," she had said. "Takeru, please, sit down." He'd been about to kiss her after her hard day's work. Not that his working on a novel was an easy job, but she had more physical labor in being a teacher.
He'd listened and sat on the bed.
"We have to talk," she'd said.
"So, then, talk," he'd told her.
"Takeru, I...I...there's no easy way, to tell you this...but, I...I...I don't think I love you anymore."
~Knock me over with a feather!~
"What? Five years of marriage--five incredibly happy years at that--and now, out of the blue, you don't love me anymore? Why? Why?! I still love you. I love you more than when I married you. Every day I love you more! And now, now, you're saying that you don't love me, at all?"
Hikari had started to cry. "Takeru--Takeru, please understand--"
"No. No, I don't understand. When we got married, I promised to love you forever and never once have I wavered. My love for you has only grown stronger. I promised myself years ago that I wasn't going to get married until I was sure, and I was sure. I am sure. I love you, Hikari," he had said, resisting the overwhelming urge to take her in his arms and prove it right then and there.
"Do you love me, or do just want to prove everyone wrong? Is this about us or about not ending up like your parents?"
He had blinked, taken aback. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind. He had been so stunned and angered by that, he hadn't known what to do. So he'd thundered downstairs, grabbed his jacket off the coat rack, patted the pocket to be sure that his wallet was there, and boarded the closest train.
Hikari hadn't followed him. That was what caused him the most pain right now. She hadn't chased him down the stairs, snatched his jacket and hung it back up, and tried to convince him to stay and talk it out.
~But then, she had no way of knowing where I was going, and maybe she would have tried to stop me if she had. But, on the same note, for all she knows I'm going to jump off a bridge. Shouldn't she have tried to at least make sure that *that* wasn't the case? Is she so far out of love with me that she doesn't even care if I do?~
The thoughts tumbled around, aimlessly. One minute he was sure something was proof that she just wasn't sure right now, that she really did still love him, but the conclusion that the thought would lead him to was proof positive that she hated him.
He wasn't sure how long he was on the train. It must have been two or three hours by now. His ticket would take him to the end of the line. Anytime he wanted, he could get off and buy a ticket home.
He sighed. Life was over. The only girl he had ever loved, the only woman he ever could have married, had just decided to walk out on him.
He wished one minute that Patamon was there to talk to him, and then found himself glad the next minute that Patamon wasn't there because he didn't want to explain everything.
He wanted to talk to someone--anyone--desperately, but Hikari wasn't an option at that moment for obvious reasons, and he was sure it wouldn't do anything for their relationship--if anything could be done--to tell anyone else.
The train began lurching to a halt, and Takeru decided to head home--broken as it may be. He got off, bought a ticket back to Odaiba, and boarded the train back.
~Why? What happened? I never neglected her. Support, attention, love. I listen to her when she talks. We compromise when we have our quarrels, I help out around the house--hell, I do more than she does.~
After a while, the swaying motion of the train lulled him to sleep. He woke up at every stop along the way and went back to sleep, until finally he got to his stop.
He walked home, trying to think what could have gone wrong. When he got to his and Hikari's house, he let himself in the back door, hung his jacket back up, and yelled, "Hikari! Are you here?" He made his way to the living room, and saw her descending the stairs. She halted halfway down. She had changed out of her teacher clothes and into jeans and an old, ratty pink t-shirt. It was low-cut and close-fitting, and Takeru couldn't help but notice how beautiful she still was.
"Takeru..." she whispered.
"Why, Hikari? I have gone over every little thing about our relationship, and I can't figure out what you think I've done. And I know that you haven't done anything, like I said, I love you more now than ever before..."
She hung her head, her cheeks burning. "Takeru, please. Just stop. It's nothing that you've done, or neglected. I...I just...I don't know. I'm not happy anymore."
"It'll pass..."
"No. This isn't what I pictured my life being like."
"We can change. I will do whatever it takes...I love you, Hikari." He took a step towards her, and she backed up onto the next-highest step.
"No...no...it's too late..."
"Hikari, what do you want from me?"
Hikari bit her lip. She had yet to look up at him. Tears started streaming down her face. "A...a...a...a divorce."
Takeru staggered. ~No...NO! Anything but that! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!...~ He almost said it aloud. Instead, he mustered his courage and asked, "Hikari, are you serious?"
She could only nod without crying.
"But--but--I...*love*...you..."
"Takeru, I know you do. It's not a question of your love for me...it's a question of my love for you. There's not anyone else--"
"How could there be? If you are so easily disenchanted with me, how could any other man bring himself to truly love you? How would he ever be assured that you wouldn't do this same thing to him? I don't even know why I love you right now, even though I do, more than ever..."
Hikari looked up with an expression of utter shock on her face, as if he had called her a dirty word. And then she promptly burst into tears. She ran up the stairs, and Takeru wasted no time in following her.
Up the stairs, down the hallway. She tried to slam the door of their bedroom in his face, but he was too fast. He shoved his way in, and then slammed it behind him and locked it.
"You have to give me a reason. Just one good reason, Hikari. That's all I ask right now. You say there's no one else, and I believe you. You say that I'm a good husband, and not to sound conceited, but I know that it's true. I know I'm not hampering your career, and if I am, all you have to do is say the word and I'll do whatever it takes to help. When we were fifteen we promised to love each other forever, and I've held up my end of the bargain for almost ten years, and I still am holding it. When and why did you drop yours?"
Hikari looked around. There was no way of escape short of jumping from a window, and she wasn't that desperate.
"I've noticed it for a while...several weeks--about...about--three? Yes. Three months...but it wasn't until today that I realized that I don't love you. I want a divorce," she repeated. It had come chokingly the first time, but the word was so easy now, now that it was out in the open.
"Just like that? Couldn't we try some other things first? A marriage counselor, separating..."
"Fine. We'll separate," she said. "You stay here, I'll go stay with...with..." Hikari racked her brain. Not with Taichi and Sora, she couldn't intrude on them, especially not with their kids. Not Miyako and Ken--Miyako had enough problems, being pregnant with their third child. Iori was in a dorm at law school, and that wouldn't be right anyway, since he wasn't married yet...wait! "I'll stay with Daisuke and his wife."
Takeru blinked. "'Suke and Kaori?"
"Why not? They have a big apartment."
"Hikari..."
"Takeru..."
Takeru bit his lip. "Hikari...why don't you love me?"
"Everything is always the same, Takeru. Our love isn't growing. Something's missing."
"So you just decided that because we're in a rut, you don't love me."
"No. I just think that neither of us is being fulfilled in this relationship, so we both ought to go out and look for something better."
That hurt. Her wanting a divorce had driven into him like a knife, and now she was twisting it. Not only had she quit loving him, but she wanted him to stop loving her.
~Yeah, like *that's* going to happen.~
"What do you think is missing?" Takeru ventured. "We can..."
"If I knew, I would have tried it already."
Takeru looked down, then lifted his eyes, piercing into her soul. "Fine. Kill me. Call Daisuke and see when he can come get you. I'll be in my study." He let himself out and stormed down the hall to his office/study, to get his mind off it all by working on his book.
Hikari sat on the bed and shed a few tears. Finally, she reached for the phone and angrily punched in Daisuke's number. She glanced outside at the setting sun as the phone rang. ~There was a time when I would have gone down to his study and dragged him outside to watch that--~
"Moshi, moshi, Motomiya desu." It was Kaori, Daisuke's pretty, young wife of three years.
Hikari sighed. "Hi, Kaori. Is 'Suke there?"
"Sure, Hikari, just a moment." Kaori set down the phone and Hikari heard her walk away to retrieve her husband and bring him to the kitchen. In a few moments Daisuke was on the line.
"Hikari?"
"Oh, 'Suke!" Hikari began to cry.
"Whoa...Hikari, calm down. What's the matter?"
"I need a place to stay...can I come stay with you?"
Daisuke gulped. He had to know the situation. Takeru was his best friend, Hikari was his friend, he had to know more. "Not until you explain what's going on," he said carefully.
"'Suke, I...I...I just told Takeru that I...I want...to...I want a divorce. And he thinks we should separate first. I have to find a place to stay for a little while. Please, 'Suke?"
"Why is he staying there?" Daisuke asked, a little incensed that Takeru wasn't the one calling him.
"My suggestion. Please, 'Suke. If you ever cared about me..."
Daisuke inhaled sharply. He had. Even after he had figured out that he didn't love her romantically, she had become one of his best friends. "Why? What happened to you and Takeru? I care about him, too, you know. Is he okay with this?"
Hikari shed a few more tears. "Not...not yet. He said...he said it would kill him for me to leave...but...but...he said to call you anyway."
Daisuke sighed, glancing up at the ceiling. ~Lord, please, why me?~
Hikari was still talking. "Our relationship is going nowhere. I don't love him any more. I should love him more than ever. 'Suke..."
"You know that we don't have a guest room. You'll be on the couch."
"Yes, 'Suke, I know. It's not like I'll be sharing it with anyone..." Hikari sniffled. "Please? Ask Kaori."
"Just a second." Daisuke set the phone on the counter and rubbed his temples. ~Why?~ Well, he couldn't just let her stay. He couldn't tell her no. He walked out to the living room. "Kaori-chan...Takeru and Hikari are having problems. She needs to get away for a bit and cool down. Would you mind if she stayed here?"
Kaori tilted her dark-haired head, with naturally blue-toned streaks catching the light. "I don't see why not, if it's only temporary."
Daisuke nodded. "I'll go get her as soon as I get off the phone." He returned to the kitchen. "Hikari?"
"I'm still here."
"Kaori doesn't mind, at least not on a temporary basis. I'll come get you right now--*if* this is what you really want."
"It is. Can we talk in the car? Please? I have to pack some stuff."
"Yeah. I'll leave right away, so you only have about thirty minutes."
"Thank you, 'Suke. I can't thank you enough. I'll be ready and waiting on the porch..."
"Don't. I want to talk to Takeru before I leave that house."
Hikari gulped. "He's upset, and he's working on the book..."
Daisuke knew Takeru hated interruptions when he was working, but he also knew that Takeru seldom liked the stuff that he wrote when he was in his angry moments, and most of what he wrote right now would be re-written anyway. He sighed. "Well, tough. I'm not bringing you here until I talk to him. He'll just have to be interrupted once." He hung up.
Hikari stared at the phone. She was too upset to be upset at Daisuke, too, so she hung up the phone and went to the closet for a duffel bag.
Of course. The only one there *would* be Takeru's. Well, fine. She quickly scribbled a note saying where hers was if he needed one. It wasn't like he'd be going anywhere anytime soon.
She packed all her "teacher clothes", and three pairs of jeans, and a few t-shirts. As soon as she found a place of her own she could come back for the rest. She *would* have to find a place of her own, eventually. She filled the rest of the bag with "necessities".
The doorbell rang just as she was zipping the bag. She grabbed her jacket, slung it on, and went into the hall with her bag--coming out exactly the same moment as Takeru.
He took a good, long look at her filled-to-capacity bag. "Fine, you get it."
"No, he wants to talk to you..." Hikari choked.
Takeru ran down the stairs. Hikari followed, slower. Daisuke caught a glimpse of her just as he was trying to get a conversation going with Takeru.
He tilted his head at her. "Go on and get in the car. I'll be there in a minute."
Hikari just nodded and disappeared out the door, not glancing back at Takeru.
"Takeru, I just want you to know that this is as much of a surprise for me as it is for you. I'm only letting her come because I think that if she gets away from you and cools down, she'll miss you and she'll see that she loves you just fine. She just needs a break, that's all."
Takeru looked at Daisuke, steely-eyed. "You say that now, but talk to her, and see what she says. She's so...irrational, I guess. Amazing how my words are so good on a computer screen but fail me so badly when I try to talk. She means business. I probably won't ever see her again until divorce court. And she just breezed out that door, right past you and me, and didn't even look back at me. Didn't smile sadly at me, didn't even acknowledge me." Takeru was waving his arms around, on the verge of ranting.
"She's scared," Daisuke said simply.
That stopped Takeru short. "Do you really believe that?"
"Look, buddy, all I know is that I think things will work out if you're patient. If I was you, I wouldn't call her at all. Let her come back to you. She'll see that she misses you, you two will be okay."
"It still hurt." Takeru almost pouted.
"Did you expect marriage to be easy? Look, you sit in that air-conditioned office of yours every day. You lock yourself away, at least until Hikari gets home anyway. You sit in there all cushy and you relive those battles with Digimon every day. *Every* *day*. And then you just expect other things to be easy compared to that. Well, guess what. Marriage is hard! I know it wasn't easy, not at all, but you can't just *expect*...*everything* to be easy compared to saving the world. You have to judge each issue on its own. There's no scale, and it's relative. Some people have easy marriages because they're just married for money or convenience or whatever and they don't even interact. Some people would have failed at saving the world. Maybe for you marriage is a lot of work and you were getting behind on your chores, maybe you had to do a lot but you liked doing it. Maybe all Hikari wanted you to do was be there and you were doing too much. I don't know, it's not my marriage. All I know is that the girl who called me and is sitting in my car right now is scared to death and the reason she's running to me is that I am her friend. I'm your friend, too, though, so I'm walking a thin line. And if you had been the one to call me, I would be having this conversation with her and you'd be waiting for me in the car, okay?"
Takeru nodded. "She's killing me. She didn't even look at me."
"You said that already, and you know what I think?" Daisuke barreled ahead before Takeru could answer that. "I think that the reason she didn't look back is because she had to get up a lot of guts, and she cares about you so much that she was afraid that if she *did* look at you, her resolve would melt."
Takeru bit his lip. "Really?"
"Yeah, buddy. Remember, don't call, at least not to talk directly to her. If she picks up, tell her it's imperative that you talk to me. And I'll try to hammer some sense into her. If miracles still happen--and they do, I never did find that DigiEgg, so it's floating out there somewhere waiting for the right time--I might be back before I even get all the way home."
"I doubt it."
"Well, so do I, but keep your fingers crossed, okay?"
Takeru nodded.
Daisuke walked out to the car and heard the door close behind him.
Takeru leaned against the door. Maybe all was not lost.
Finally, the emotion overcame him again. A whine came into his voice as the tears finally broke through again.
"Kami...I lost her..."
He slid, his back to the door, down until he was sitting on the welcome mat, and then buried his face in his knees and cried unashamedly.
Hikari knew she was in for a chewing-out the minute Daisuke buckled his seat belt.
"I hope you know what you're doing. You're leaving a broken heart in there."
Hikari bit her lip.
"Well?"
"I don't love him."
"He loves you plenty! I had to try to convince him that you would be back soon, or he never would have let me go. He was practically begging for reassurance, anything that might mean that there was the slimmest of chances that there's a tiny possibility that you might, *someday*, come back to him."
"I'm not going back."
Daisuke slammed on the brakes in frustration as the light turned red. "You've put me in a very awkward situation. I have to try to sympathize with both of you and you're on totally different sides of the fence. So far, Takeru is making a hell of a lot more sense than you."
"Then why don't you just pull over? I'll get out, I'll find some gutter to sleep in until I can get an apartment."
"Because I care about you too, even if I think you're confused."
Hikari sighed and turned away, intently focusing on the other people's houses outside her window until that thought could settle, and waited for him to start talking again.
"Hikari. Listen. I think that right now you're scared of how you feel, you're confused, and all you want is some comfort--but Heaven forbid you get it from Takeru, because he's the one making you feel like this."
She turned back to face him. "I don't love him. Not at all."
Daisuke sighed. "You're getting repetitive."
"The only reason I agreed to separate rather than rush off for a divorce is not because I think there's a chance for us, but because I want him to understand that there's no one else. I'm not looking for another man."
"What man would take you after you did this to Takeru?"
"That's funny; he said the same thing."
"There is one man that would take you."
Hikari gasped. No, the crush had ended long ago--
"NO, NOT ME!" Daisuke yelled, hearing her gasp, but he quickly gathered up his composure. "Not me. Takeru. Takeru is the only man on earth who loves you enough to take you back after all you've hurt him. After you put a knife through his heart and twisted it three or four times by now, he still loves you with everything that heart has left."
"It's going to dwindle if I keep twisting."
"Then stop twisting, for Pete's sake!"
"I can't help it!" Hikari turned to her window for another time-out, until Daisuke calmed down.
It didn't take but a few minutes.
"Hikari, you've repeated yourself. You say you don't love him anymore. Can you tell me why?"
"He asked for reasons, too. Or, more precisely, one reason."
"And you told him...?"
"That there's something missing in our life together that we might be able to find separately."
"What could possibly be missing?"
"If I knew that, I wouldn't be having this conversation!"
"Don't get on my case, you're the heartbreaker, it's not my fault."
Hikari nodded. "It's not your fault," she agreed. Funny, it was the first time she'd agreed with anyone that day.
"Do you really think you're doing the right thing?"
"Yes."
"I mean, not the right thing for just you, but the right thing for your relationship with Takeru?"
"What relationship? If I don't love him, then I don't see..."
Daisuke sighed. "Fine. Just, think about it, okay? We're here, anyway."
Hikari nodded and unbuckled her seat belt as Daisuke pulled into the apartment parking garage into his assigned space. He carried her bag to the apartment, and she meekly followed behind.
Kaori had already fixed up the couch with blankets and sheets. Daisuke set the bag down next to it and wordlessly moved to the back of the apartment to find Kaori. Hikari sat on the couch for a minute, and soon Kaori appeared in the living room. "What's going on, Hikari?" She sat next to her.
No one would understand like a woman--but then, Kaori was a woman who was deeply in love with her husband--Hikari knew they were trying for their first child. That might make a difference.
Hikari simply shook her head. "I--I don't want to talk about it. And don't tell me it's good to talk about it." Kaori didn't know her like Daisuke. Or...like Takeru. Hikari sighed. Tomorrow, after she got back here from work, she'd call Miyako. Not that Miyako and Ken were having any troubles, but Miyako knew her.
Kaori shook her head. "It's not good to not talk about it," she said quietly. She stood and left Hikari to her thoughts.
Hikari's thoughts were nothing short of scrambled. She was glad to be away from Takeru, instead of lying next to him, not loving him.
It was ironic. When they had been teens, after the "Oikawa Incident", after the world discovered Digimon, she had loved to get away to the DigiWorld with her Takeru. They'd go on a picnic, they'd go and she would read poetry to him, or he would read novels to her, but things always ended the same way. They would lie wrapped in each other's arms in the shade of a tree. They didn't do anything wrong, ever--in fact, more often than not, they didn't even kiss--but Hikari had thought that there was nothing she wanted more than to be able to do that forever--just feel his protective touch, stare into his azure eyes, and let everything else become meaningless to her.
And now, she didn't even want to be in the same room with him.
~Why?~ she asked herself. ~Where did we go wrong?~
It seemed that one day, she had just stopped loving him, and hadn't even realized it. It took three months to dawn on her.
She thought of all the times she had let Takeru kiss her--and beyond--that had taken place in those three months, and color crept to her cheeks. ~Why? Why didn't I notice it *then*, of all times?~ True, it wasn't like she didn't enjoy it herself, but she wouldn't want to do it with a stranger. In fact, it was Takeru that made it enjoyable.
She shook her head. That train of thought was getting her nowhere.
So when had she quit loving him and why? Maybe Takeru and Daisuke were right. Maybe she just needed to get away from Takeru so she could figure it out, and then they could fix it.
~No, we could never fix it. I've hurt him. I didn't enjoy hurting him, but the choice was hurt him or destroy myself, my heart, my very soul. But, it would still be nice to know where I screwed up. I know it's me. Takeru still loves me, so it has to be me. There's something wrong with me or I wouldn't be so thickheaded as to not love him any more. He loves me, he helps out, we compromise when we argue. He's lacking nothing of being the perfect husband. So, obviously, the imperfection is in me...~
Takeru sighed in his sleep. His dream caused him to startle, and he jerked awake. He reached across the bed to find reassurance in the fact that Hikari was beside him, and found none. He spent several minutes groping across the bed before remembering the nightmare that he'd had earlier when he had been awake.
~Damn, she's really gone.~
It didn't hurt so bad. *Her* saying that she wanted to leave hurt like being torn in half, right down the middle, but *his* restating it in his mind didn't bother him. His mind hardly ever bothered him. He had to use it to think of things for his characters to say, and, more recently, to relive intense battles where he had nearly died. He thought of all kinds of heated arguments at times. Sometimes he laughed because he was so clever, but he never was hurt by character's words. Anything that ran through his head didn't affect him directly. Anything that anyone else told him, however, had the capability to hurt him.
Sometimes his characters got upset and even angry and yelled and screamed at each other and fought. The hard part was getting inside the head of both parties, sometimes to make one seem saintly and one devilish, other times to make it seem like they both had valid points and leave one unsure of who to root for.
He tried to get inside Hikari's head, but found it impossible.
It was hot. He threw off his blankets, and realized he'd laid down fully dressed. He stripped to his shorts and groped for the blanket again. Not exactly the nicest situation that could cause him to strip. Certain memories of Hikari shoved his way to the front of his mind, but he repressed them effectually by thinking of what was going to happen the next day. It wasn't like he had to get up and go to work. He'd probably sleep late, get up and eat lunch, call Daisuke at work and see what Hikari had been like that morning, work on the book until he felt sleepy, call Daisuke and see how Hikari was doing, and go to bed so the whole vicious cycle could start again.
~Not a pleasant prospect. Maybe it's avoidable--maybe even now Hikari's crying out my name, wanting to come back to me, and they're telling her to wait until morning.~ He didn't want them to wait! He wanted her now!
But no, he was pretty sure that that wasn't the case. It would be a while, even according to Daisuke, who always looked on the bright side.
He tried to retrace his steps back to what he'd been thinking of before realizing he was in his clothes. Oh yes. Getting inside Hikari's head.
~Impossible.~
But he thought of all the arguments he'd written. Of that no matter how erroneous a person was, they never argued unless they thought they were right.
So did Hikari really believe that she didn't love him? Takeru's understanding of human nature told him ~Of course she does!~, but his heart tried to tell him otherwise.
~Damn this author's brain!~ He *had* to listen to his head. It was usually right. ~So what did I do wrong? I love her, she quit loving me. *She* quit. So, therefore, I did something, or didn't do something, and my mistake made her quit loving me.~
The first thing Takeru did when he woke was check the clock.
~Ten, already!~ Well, he'd been up half the night, he hadn't set the alarm, so he was bound to sleep late.
Hikari would be at work; so would Daisuke. Kaori would be home.
Takeru forced himself out of bed and into the shower. He got dressed in hang-around-the-house clothes. He ate a light breakfast, so he'd still be hungry enough to eat lunch later. Finally, he could wait no longer. He bolted for the phone and called Kaori.
"Moshi, moshi, Motomiya desu. Kaori speaking."
Takeru sighed, relieved that she wasn't out. "Kaori. Hi. Can you tell me how Hikari was this morning?"
"She's barely spoken a word to me since she got here last night, Takeru, except to say stuff like 'I'm not ready to talk about it', 'Where's the cream cheese for the bagels?', 'Do you mind if I use your conditioner? I forgot mine'. She's more open with Daisuke--but then, that only makes sense, he knows her a lot better than I do."
"But, Kaori, was she happy? Was she crying? What?"
"Takeru...I just said Daisuke knows her a lot better. That should lead you to the conclusion that I don't know her very well at all. But...even from an outsider's point of view, she was pretty obviously out of it."
"Out of it?"
"Not talking, not hearing what you said to her until the third or fourth time, being kinda klutzy. Stuff like that."
"Oh...is there anything else I should know?"
"Daisuke would be the one to ask. You have his work number."
"Yeah. Okay, I'll call him, then."
"You do that. Bye."
"Bye."
So Takeru called Daisuke in his office. Daisuke was allowed personal calls, it came when you became a manager of a restaurant.
"Noodles Galore, Motomiya Daisuke speaking."
Takeru snickered. "Hey, Motomiya."
Daisuke knew exactly why Takeru had called, he didn't need to be prompted. "Hikari was out of it, she barely talked this morning; last night I didn't make any progress other than to establish that I think you're in the right and I'm helping her out because I care about her, not because I agree with her, and if the roles were reversed I'd think she was right and you'd be sleeping on my couch."
"Thanks...but, do you think--you know?"
"Today will not be the day."
"Did she tell you her reason for not loving me anymore?"
"That ambiguous crud about 'something missing from our life together that we might be able to find separately'? Yeah."
"Do you believe it?"
"I believe she's convinced herself to believe it. Look, Takeru, eat lunch. Then clean the house. The whole house. Give it a spring cleaning. I noticed the entryway last night--it's dusty. Then work on your book until, like, it's time for bed. Tonight you set your alarm and get up at the right time. Get dressed every day, change your shorts, shave. Don't start growing a beard or wearing the same clothes for a week or anything. Eat three meals every day--real food, peanut butter and jelly doesn't count. Take care of yourself. It won't necessarily be the day, but treat every day like Hikari's coming home in a few hours, okay? You never know when she might, and you don't want her to come home to some guy who looks like he's going to be Robinson Crusoe for a costume party. She'd run screaming and *never* come back."
Daisuke managed to make Takeru laugh if nothing else--and Takeru had definitely not been in the mood to laugh. "I promise."
"Good. Now get off the phone and put that lazy butt of yours to work!"
"Aye, aye, Captain," Takeru said, and hung up.
He looked around the kitchen. It *was* a little messy. The sink had some dishes, and he knew the dishwasher was nearly full. He hadn't dusted the area above the cabinets in forever and he knew he had a new box of Swiffer cloths somewhere...and he could mop while he was at it...
He walked back into the pantry/laundry room. A load of laundry was sitting on top of the washing machine. Yeah, he'd go get whatever might be in the hampers and take care of that...
Hikari sighed. The last stragglers in her classroom had cleared out, and she was dusting the blackboard. Her students had behaved fairly well today, there was no excuse for her to have one of them do it.
Still, today had not been a good day. She'd managed not to forget any of the papers she needed, but after walking around the building for three hours she discovered her skirt was on inside-out. She'd lost an earring back at lunch. One of her students had reminded her that it was essay day--after she'd gotten up early that morning to prepare the lesson.
As soon as the blackboard--which had always irritated her by technically being a greenboard--was dust-free, she allowed herself to slam her head against it.
"Takaishi-san?" An older fellow teacher looked at her understandingly.
Hikari looked up, blushing. "Oh, Yanehiro-san."
"Bad day?"
"Worse."
"Want to talk?" Mr. Yanehiro, a man entering his fifties, had a fatherly aura to him, and this was his specialty--giving advice to other teachers.
Hikari nodded, and sat on her desk, motioning for him to take the chair, which he did.
"What's the trouble?"
"Me," Hikari said, recklessly.
"You?"
"I...I left my husband last night. I really don't know why; he's the perfect husband, and perfect for me, but I'm not happy."
Mr. Yanehiro blinked. "I thought maybe it was something to do with the kids today...I didn't realize--you know, if this is too personal--"
"No, please, I've been craving an outsider's opinion. Only my husband and our two dear friends that I'm staying with know about this, and they all think I should go back to him, even though I've plainly stated that I don't love him any more."
"Do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Love him? You just said that you *stated* you didn't love him. You can *state* something and be lying through your teeth."
Hikari blinked. "That's a bit presumptuous...but I deserved that." She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, and looked her coworker straight in the eyes. "No. I don't love him."
"Why? Be candid."
She tilted her head. "I don't know. But please, don't be scientific. Love doesn't fit into science."
"Tough for a science teacher..."
"Let me put it this way," she said. "My husband knows how to do a lot of household chores and he does all he can, he's home more than me, he does the majority of the work."
"Okay."
"And, he's a strong guy. He's physically attractive, and good at the--physical side--of--of love as well as the stuff like flowers, and candy, and a card on my birthday. He's devoted. He's faithful, he's never thought of any other woman besides me from the time we were both fifteen."
"Sounds like a great guy."
"He is--and I'm not the only one who thinks so. All my friends, all my family, everybody likes him. His few enemies are people who set out to hate him from the beginning--not people he ticked off or decided to hate. I like his family. Our two families get along."
"Allow me to amend myself--he sounds like the perfect husband. I can't see why you don't love him."
"He is. But, if you had all that--helping around the house, love, getting along with everyone, so on and so forth--"
"Who's to say I don't?"
"Play along, will you? I didn't mean it that way. Let me finish. Assuming you had all that, why shouldn't I love you? Why him?"
"Ah...perfection doesn't mean as much once you've attained it. I see your point, and it works, in theory."
"You sound like my old friend Izzy."
"I'll take that as a compliment, and explain to you the way science *can* play into love. The way you are--the quirks you have, the things you like and dislike, so on and so forth, are so particular, so unique, that the odds of you finding someone who balances them perfectly are less than one in a trillion."
"I've got you so far."
"So you find the next-best thing--someone who balances them close to perfectly. After a while you get used to the way you fit together. Even though you don't balance each other perfectly, you *like* the places where you're not balanced out. You're used to them and you don't want to change them. So, if you get tired of someone, and leave him, the odds of finding someone who matches you even better are less than one-tenth in ten trillion. So, anyone you find later, if their quirks and yours don't match up *exactly* the same as yours and your first partner's, you'll think that they are not as good as your first partner was. That's one of the many, many reasons that it's best to stick with your first choice."
"But there's not another *choice*. I just...I left. There's no one *else*. I don't *want* there to be anyone else."
Mr. Yanehiro sighed. "So you think loneliness is going to match you better than your husband?"
Hikari frowned, and immediately got on the defensive. "And what makes you such an expert?"
"I left my first wife. Then I figured this out, and realized I did love her. I was going to call her and apologize and try to get back together, as soon as I got off work. I got home and my brother had left a message to meet him at the hospital immediately. I got there, and they said they tried to reach me, but now it was too late. My wife had been in a subway wreck and had been in critical condition--and she died just a few moments before I got there."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Hikari said, in sympathy.
"It's not your fault. Anyway, I decided that my theory was probably wrong, and I tried to love again."
"And?"
"And I was right after all--I've been in two sloppy marriages since my first wife, I've never been able to love anyone quite like I loved her. I'm married again now, and it's only been two years, but we're already going downhill."
Hikari hung her head. "You think I ought to go back to him?"
"I think you're just going through a stage and if you'd pull your head out of the clouds, you'd see that you love him, and so, yes, I think you ought to go back to him." Hikari set her jaw stubbornly and was about to say something, but he stood and started to leave. "Good day."
She blinked, and walked out into the hall. He was gone. She leaned against the wall. She had to hurry or she'd miss her train.
She was so confused...
By the time Takeru sat down, the house was spotless. Almost like the day he and Hikari had moved in, only, with furniture this time.
Emotionally, the hardest part had been doing laundry. Her clothes were all over the place. Jeans, t-shirts, low-necked blouses, shorts. All the ones he thought she looked best in--but, then, there were very few of her clothes that he didn't like her in.
~Damn this!~ his mind screamed.
He checked the clock. Quarter to four. Hikari would probably be getting to Daisuke and Kaori's place any minute.
Hikari walked up out of the subway terminal. She blinked as her eyes tried to readjust to the light. Daisuke and Kaori's building was only a block up, across the street. She checked both ways, left, right, and left again like she taught the young kids, back when she substituted for the kindergarten teacher, back when she was getting her degree.
Back before Takeru had popped the question.
But, she had almost made up her mind riding on the train. She still cared about Takeru. They had some things to work out, but she *did* care about him, if only a little.
~I will call him as soon as I get to the apartment. I have to talk to him.~
Between her thoughts and not being able to see quite right in the light, she never saw the car come around the corner.
CAR!?
Things became a blur--she felt herself scream, and go flying into the street. She was aware of pain--excruciating pain--but where it was or why she felt it, she had no idea. She heard other people yelling and someone desperately seeking a cell phone.
Someone bent over her. "Hikari? Hikari?"
"Kaori...?" she whispered, before everything went black.
Takeru looked up, startled, as the phone rang.
"Moshi. mo--"
"Save it, Takeru. Get your butt down to the hospital."
"What? Daisuke?"
"Kaori just called me from a pay phone near our house. She had just left to go for a walk and she saw Hikari heading to our place, and then saw Hikari get hit by a car."
"What!? Is she all right? Where is she?"
"Hospital, duh! They wouldn't Kaori ride with Hikari in the ambulance when it got there because she wasn't family. I'm leaving work, I'll meet you at the hospital. Kaori too."
"Daisuke, how is she?"
"I don't know! I wasn't there, and I haven't talked to any doctors! Just haul! Get to the hospital!" Daisuke hung up.
Takeru didn't think. He just got into the car and drove.
Daisuke and Kaori beat Takeru there, even though Takeru was technically closer.
"Where were you?" Daisuke yelled.
"I had to convince a cop that it was an emergency so I wouldn't get a ticket. Where is she?"
"I don't know," Daisuke said. "They won't let us in yet, and they said that when she was allowed to have visitors, it would be family first."
"And you don't know *how* she is, either, do you?" Takeru sighed sarcastically, lowering himself into the chair next to Daisuke.
"No." Daisuke was quiet. "Family thing...and, you know, they haven't been asking for anyone either."
"So they're not done with her yet?"
"That'd be my guess."
Kaori sat, quietly observing the other people. This was a friend-to-friend thing.
Takeru leaned back in his chair, preparing himself for a long, relatively silent wait, and Daisuke followed suit.
Relative silence. If the sounds that meant something to you were the only sounds you heard, then it was possible to experience absolute silence. Takeru was experiencing it in the noisy waiting room. His author's brain stowed the thought away for later, it would come in handy later.
Takeru sat, hearing nothing that went on. He saw everything, and always snapped to attention whenever a doctor entered the room and started asking for someone--and always slumped back down when he didn't hear his name. Then he heard nothing again, until another doctor appeared.
By the fifth doctor, he didn't even sit up, he just jerked his eyes in the doctor's general direction and waited to hear what name he called. He'd been memorizing the names to pass the time, names were something he went through a lot of when writing a new story. He almost fell out of his chair when the doctor consulted his clipboard and asked for "Mr. Takaishi Takeru?"
Daisuke pushed Takeru up out of the chair and gave him a nudge in the doctor's direction. "Kaori gave them your name as well as Hikari's. Go!"
Takeru took the hint and made his way over to the doctor. "I'm Takeru..."
"I'm Doctor Moto, I understand that you're Hikari's husband..."
The thought caught Takeru off guard, after spending a day trying to train himself out of answering to that--but he hadn't fully succeeded. "Yes, I am."
"Do you want me to explain her condition to you, or would you rather see her first?"
"I can see her? I have to see her!" Takeru exclaimed. He turned to Daisuke and held his hand up, meaning stay there and wait for me.
Dr. Moto nodded and led him out a different doorway and through a maze of hall that Takeru never noticed. When they finally stopped, Dr. Moto nodded at the door. "She's right in there. I'll be down this hall at the nurses' station." He pointed down toward a large wraparound desk.
Takeru nodded and watched him walk off. He put his hand on the handle, and for a brief second doubted his choice of not asking about Hikari's state. He had no idea what to expect. Could she have lost a limb? Could she be on life support? Could she be hooked up to so many wires that he couldn't even touch her? Could she be--
He stopped his gruesome train of thought and opened the door.
Could she possibly be leaning back on the tilted-up hospital bed, trying to get the TV remote to work?
Takeru blinked.
She was. She was awake, frowning at the little hunk of plastic and metal with rubber buttons, face contorted in frustration.
She hadn't heard him open the door, so he softly spoke her name. "Hikari?"
She turned her head and saw him peeking through a five-inch crack. She dropped the remote and her thoughts completely changed subjects.
"Takeru!" she cried. "Kami, Takeru, come here!"
He was taken aback, but came in, closed the door behind him, and came to her bedside. She tried to reach up to his neck and pull him down, but gasped in pain. "I can't reach up to you...could you come down here to me, please?"
"Huh?"
"Come down here. I--I want to kiss you."
"Hikari, did anything happen to your head? You know, yesterday you--"
"I know what I did yesterday, and I am so sorry...I know I can never make it up. Never. But I want to kiss you."
Takeru obliged her. He bent down and pressed his face close to hers. She kissed him passionately, and he did nothing to indicate that he objected. She went on for several minutes. Finally she stopped. "Please, sit down...we have a lot to talk about."
He sat in the chair beside her bed. "Yeah, I should say so...first off, are you okay?"
"No, that's later. *First*, I can't tell you enough how sorry I am. I do love you, and I'm an idiot. I am so, so sorry. I won't blame you if you decide that I've hurt you too badly--"
"No, Hikari. I would never do that." He placed his hand over hers, and smiled at her lovingly. "I still love you more than ever."
She let a tear slip down her cheek. "I don't know why--"
He lifted his hand to her cheek and wiped the teardrop away. "It doesn't matter why. I just do. And I want you to come home, and I want to love you."
"Really?" she whispered.
"Really. I really do."
Another tear fell, and he let it fall, because he knew it was a happy tear.
They just smiled at each other for a few minutes.
"Are you happy now, Hikari?"
"Yes. I am. You've forgiven me, that's all I wanted--and I have so much more than that to be grateful for."
He smiled some more. "So...what *did* happen to you?"
"The car hit me because I was thinking about us. And I was a little blind after coming up out of the subway tunnel. No matter. It hit me, and knocked me over. My right leg's broken, and I fractured two ribs--that's why I can't lift my arms, and I'm trying not to cry hard, because it hurts like hell."
Takeru laughed sympathetically.
"Anyway, I wasn't in a coma or anything. I was passed out from the pain."
Takeru nodded. "Other than that, you're okay?"
She sighed in relief. "Yes. Yes...and, miracle of miracles, the baby is okay."
Takeru nodded again. Then..."What? Could you repeat that 'miracle-of-miracles' thing?"
Hikari grinned. "The baby is perfectly fine, no problems. We'll be back here at the hospital in about six months."
Takeru stared. He blinked. "Hikari? You're...? We..."
She nodded, blushing. "I'm pregnant. Three months pregnant, according to the ultrasound. They're going to give me pictures from the ultrasound before I check out."
For once, Takeru could think of nothing to say. He simply stood and kissed her, and embraced her--carefully, keeping her ribs in mind.
In the middle of the kiss, the door opened a crack, and the happy couple heard Kaori saying, "I think they worked it out, Daisuke..."
Takeru immediately backed off, and they both smiled.
"Come on in," Hikari said. "And, yes, we did." She smiled. "I am so glad we did...yesterday was the most miserable day I have ever experienced..."
"You mean that, Hikari?" Takeru asked, barely able to believe his good fortune.
"Let me put it this way...I was going to call you as soon as I got to the apartment."
Takeru smiled and leaned back in his chair.
Hikari turned her head (turning her body was out of the question at the moment) toward him. "When do you want to start telling people?"
Takeru blinked. "Let's keep it our secret, just for today."
Hikari nodded. Of course, Daisuke tried begging them to tell him, but Takeru only promised that he'd be the first to know outside of family. Daisuke wasn't satisfied, but Takeru held his resolve smilingly.
Daisuke and Kaori were only able to stay long enough to ask Hikari what had happened to her and congratulate the couple on their rediscovered happiness, and then Dr. Moto stuck his head in and informed them that Hikari really needed to rest. Takeru asked if he had to leave and Dr. Moto assured him that he didn't, and if he wished, a rollaway cot could be brought so he didn't have to leave Hikari all night. Takeru wished.
Darkness had settled over the hospital room. "I love you," Hikari whispered.
"I love you, too." Takeru was down to his shorts again, not having any extra clothes. Oh well, he could fix that tomorrow. "And I already love our baby, too."
"Me too...You have any names in mind?"
Takeru sighed peacefully. "I always have names in mind--it comes with my trade, you know?"
Hikari giggled. "Yeah. I was thinking, if it's a boy, we could name him after our brothers."
"Taichi Yamato?"
"Or Yamato Taichi."
"Who ever would have thought that as much as they argued, one kid could end up uniting their names?"
Hikari giggled again. She felt like laughing, but she had tried that earlier and discovered it didn't do much for her ribs.
"And what if it's a girl?" Takeru ventured. "That'd be good, too..."
"Well, you know, it has to be one or the other."
Takeru laughed. "How about naming her after Miyako or Sora?"
"Or both?"
"With all these namesakes, I don't think we'll ever run out of choices..."
Hikari giggled. "No, but it's kind of a nice predicament, having so many close friends."
"Yeah..."
Hikari was checked out of the hospital the next day, although her lower leg was in a cast for three weeks--which she took off of work. Her ribs were sore for a while longer, but they healed, too.
When they got home, Hikari was impressed with how clean the house was. The first day was spent making phone calls to Mrs. Takaishi, Mr. Ishida, Matt, Mr. and Mrs. Kamiya, Tai and Sora, and all the rest of the DigiDestined.
The baby was due early in the summer; so Hikari decided that she would finish out the school year and then retire. The royalties from Takeru's assorted novels were starting to really come in--they might never be rich, but they were already doing quite well and her salary was becoming just a supplement to their income anyway.
Hikari's pregnancy was fairly easy; there were a few days of morning sickness but she never threw up; there were no complications.
The next June, on the tenth, she interrupted Takeru's writing, clutching at her stomach.
"It's time..."
Three hours later, at 3:07 p.m.,Yamato Taichi Takaishi came into the world, eight pounds, three ounces, twenty-three and a quarter inches long, and equipped with a well-functioning pair of lungs.
After the hubbub, after all the family and friends had come to see and hold the new little one and grant him their best wishes, after night had descended, things finally calmed down for the first time since Hikari had made her important two-word announcement mere hours earlier.
Once again, a cot had been brought in for Takeru, but this time, neither one of them could even think of sleep.
The proud parents were standing over his--there was only one "him" in their world right then--glass hospital crib and watched him sleep.
Takeru gently, nervously, leaned down and ran a finger over Yamato Taichi's tiny cheek, and played with his downy, fuzzy hair.
"He's perfect."
"Yes he is..." Hikari whispered. "Reminds me of you."
Takeru looked up at her, smiled, stood up straight, and wrapped his arms around her, leaning in for a kiss.
Eventually, they broke the kiss, but Takeru didn't let go of her. "Six months has changed us both a lot."
"Kami, six months ago I was picturing myself working hard just to get by alone. I was so stupid...this is so much better..."
"I agree." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "And then, this whole baby thing...I have learned more about pregnancy in the past six months than I did in twelve years of school...I think I might know as much as Jyou..."
Hikari laughed.
Yamato Taichi cooed, stretched out a hand, and pulled it back toward himself, falling back into sleep.
"I love you, Takeru."
"I love you, too."
"Do you think Yamato minds us using his name?"
"He's thrilled. I think Taichi was a bit miffed that his name wasn't first..."
"He'll get over it, he always does. Besides, we wouldn't want our son being confused with Tai Junior..."
Takeru snickered, then sobered. "Hikari, are you still happy with me?"
"You remember what I said about something being missing from our lives?"
Takeru nodded. "Yeah..."
"Well, I *was* right about that. I figured out what it was after the doctors finished setting my leg and ran down the list of my injuries."
"So what's missing?"
"*Was* missing, Takeru, *was*. He's sleeping right here," Hikari whispered, adjusting Yamato Taichi's blanket.
Takeru kissed her again.
A/N: *authoress uses up another Kleenex* Come on, aw with me. Awwwww. *giggles* Wasn't it cute? I'm sucha *sap*...I'm pathetic. I know, I was complaining about fics with Kari having an excess of accident/hospital scenes, but I'd like to think that this is different than most...seeing as no one dies, her injuries were of the kind that let her out the next day, and it had a happy ending (hey, I wrote it, didn't I? Of course it has a happy ending!) (Notice how I say I'd like to think that, but I don't say I actually *do* think that? ^.^*). I was going to have her just discover she was pregnant via drugstore pregnancy test, but it seemed anticlimactic, so...oh well...I have a Takari songfic in the works (meaning I have the song typed out ^.^*) and there's *not* going to be an accident in it...I know, I'm a Daikari fan (I'm being repetitive), but the song doesn't *fit* Daikari, just like this story. You'll see once I post it. ^_^ Now, I'm going to quit rambling so you can go on and review...