Epilogue - Flesh, Blood, and Pain

Disclaimer: We all know the drill.

A/N: For those of you who were unsatisfied by the last chapter. A sequel isn't out of the question. Thanks for the continued support.

"I was very surprised to receive Harry's invitation," Severus said thoughtfully, looking over to where the young man in question stood, laughing with his two new Muggle friends.

"I was a little surprised that he sent it," Tiny replied evenly, with his usual blend of tact and honesty. The two had been introduced by Harry ("Tiny, this is Severus Snape -- you've heard me speak about him. Severus, this is the man who has been helping me so much in the past few months --"), and were presently engaged in a silent competition. Who would blink first? Who had the most reason to feel resentful -- or ashamed?

When Severus felt particularly honest during their conversation, he knew what the answers were to those questions without hesitation. Oddly enough, he no longer felt the old familiar urge to continue to lie to himself about his reality or his role in it. His headaches and nightmares had noticeably diminished as a result.

He had also tried integrating different teaching methods. Harry's testimony had been crucial in securing his place at Hogwarts after Voldemort's downfall, and it seemed only proper to show the difference between the spy act, and who he actually was. The fact that he was still determining the latter was something that he mentally deemed irrelevant.

It was slow progress. He had spent many years shamelessly taking advantage of honest mistakes and not resorting to such tactics was a difficult struggle. But he tried -- and not as many students flinched when they looked at him now. A few even felt secure enough to ask questions during class. There was a hitherto unknown pleasure at seeing understanding in a child's eyes once a difficult concept had finally been explained, and he found himself enjoying his job for the first time in his life.

His colleagues had noticed the gradual change as well. Some openly speculated on the catalyst for it, but he never answered their questions. Some parts of his reputation, he would gladly keep.

When Severus received Harry's letter and accepted his invitation, he had not imagined what exactly it would entail. Muggle London was a place he had always avoided, but there, he immediately felt safe in anonymity. It was oddly comforting to be introduced to a group of strangers and be granted clemency. Acceptance might not even be completely out of the question.

Six months prior to this evening, he would have never envisioned himself accounting for his actions to anyone, much less a strange Muggle with a peculiar nickname. Yet Severus could hear the calm in his voice that Harry's letters had eventually described, and he found it just as comforting as it was disconcerting.

Aside from Albus, no one had ever known him at a glance -- nor would anyone have ever tried to know him. He would not have allowed any perceived intimacy, for fear of a weakness being found and exploited.

The strong forgive. It was one of many things that Harry had written to him. The words had not orginated with the boy, but that did not lessen the truth they bore. The strong forgive. I have never been strong.

"I can never take back what I have done," he admitted now, meeting the other man's eyes for as long as he dared before dropping his gaze. "I thought I knew better--and I was the adult, yet I shamelessly perpetuated --"

"Save your story for a meeting," Tiny replied, a hardness in his eyes softening. "It's not one that we've heard in a while."

Severus felt confused. "Harry has spoken to you about me--"

"He has protected you and tried to take the shame upon himself," Tiny gently corrected. "He's not doing that anymore -- and your story deserves to be heard. You deserve to be heard."

A loud burst of laughter interrupted their conversation momentarily -- Tabitha had managed to dump a handful of ice down Celina's shirt, and was cackling hysterically while using Harry as a human shield. Seeing simple, uncomplicated enjoyment on the young man's face softened something within the professor.

"I don't feel that I deserve it," he replied finally, turning back to Tiny.

"I know," came the matter of fact reply. "And that's Step One. Come to a meeting. By the time it ends, you might feel like you do."

It hurt to trust others. It certainly hurt to take an honest look at himself. But once again, Harry -- and his friends -- had something that Severus desperately wanted.

"Perhaps I will," he said, a note of pure longing in his voice. "Perhaps I will."

--The End--