Chapter 1: Yakumo's Savior
Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma ½, Inuyasha, Full Metal Panic or School Rumble. They belong to their respective authors. (Whew! That was a mouth full)
Hey All! I'm back with this four way crossover. This will be biggest project I will plan for a little while.
Just so you know I will be using the traditional way Japanese write their names, a.k.a., Surname first, then Given name. The reason for this is to preserve some of the running gags from School Rumble.
Enjoy!
Upon inspection of the Tendo Dojo, one might perceive it as a traditional dojo with an accompanying traditional Japanese house and one might observe that the only thing out of place was the sign that hung over the entrance way which states the Anything Goes Style of Martial Arts being practiced.
However, as we all know, this place, and especially, the town, is anything BUT normal.
Suppose we take a look at its occupants. At breakfast, we can see that unlike all families (and I use this term, because I have never met a family like this) we have some occupants doing insane acrobatic maneuvers over a small koi pond. Upon closer inspection, we can see the two figures are actually males clothed in fighting gi (the clothes). When we really look close enough, we can see the two figures one Saotome Genma and Ranma.
Suppose we hang around until we hear Kasumi's cry of "Breakfast's Ready!" ring throughout the house. At this point, we can hear two very loud splashes as the Saotome… err… 'Family,' get distracted from their training as they climb out of the small pond. We can also see that there, in place of the men, are a young buxom girl and a very fat panda. Hence, the dreaded curse called Jusenkyo.
Suppose we stay around until we see everyone seated at the table. With the two men back in their normal forms, we can observe, save a troll-like old man, a normal family sitting down to dinner, like a normal, stereotypical family.
Of course, this is where the 'normal, stereotypical' assumptions end.
The moment Kasumi has dished out the rice, three of the occupants at the table start, literally, inhaling the food they can their chopsticks on. The Tendo household had learned to ignore this, but proceed to keep their food away from reaching distance of the men's chopsticks. Then, one man, namely Saotome Genma, steals part of his son's food, whether they be pickles, fish, chicken, beef, octopus balls, pork, lamb, rice, soup, rice balls, okonomiyaki, pork buns, ramen, cookies, sweets or desert, they somehow end up in Genma's possession. This then leads to a consequent fight between the two Saotome males, a more consequent splashing, usually by Ranma and an even more consequent pouring of hot water and gobbling of food.
Suppose we wait until breakfast has finish, where the dishes have been cleared and where things really start to kick up trouble. This usually starts in the form of an appearance of Hibiki Ryoga in his Jusenkyo-cursed form of a little black piglet dubbed 'P-chan' by Tendo Akane, resident martial artist, heir to the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Artists and fiancé to one Saotome Ranma.
As always, Ranma is usually the first to discover the little porcine running amok in the house with some sweets strapped to his back, probably for the gifting from Ryoga to Akane, his hopeless crush. If not that, then it would probably be a letter of challenge to Ranma to either 'unveil the fruits of his training' or 'unveil some construction technique he picked up and adapted it to suit his martial arts.' In this case, it is the former.
Of course, the above would only happen under different circumstances, for Ryoga had already resolved his differences with Ranma, so was in his normal form.
Ryoga, in his usual, graceful dignity, smashed his way into the Tendo compound via either walking through a wall or 'Bakusai Tenketsu-ing' the ground or wall, depending on circumstances and where he is at the current time in question. In this case, he smashed his way through the ground. Again, in his, 'usual, graceful' manner, he screamed out his trademark, signature catchphrase.
"RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE!"© Hibiki Ryoga through Takahashi Rumiko. All rights reserved.
Ryoga, having already solved his quarry with Ranma, had nothing to worry about, as Ryoga only meant this as a joke and it was their way of saying that he wanted a friendly spar with him. However, like old times, this would be the cue for the daily Tendo Dojo smashing to begin, as per usual. The subsequent yelling would go as follows.
"SAOTOME RANMA, VILE FIEND, I DEMAND YOU RELEASE THE PIG-TAILED GIRL AND TENDO AKANE FROM YOUR EVIL SORCERY!"
Ah, the bumbling idiot of Furinkan High, self proclaimed Kuno 'Blue Thunder' Tatewaki, though Ranma has thought of more colorful names for the town idiot, the politest of which being, 'Great Blunder.'
"RAN-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAN! I've made some delicious okonomiyaki! Won't you try some?"
Dubbed 'Ran-chan' by 'Ucchan', Kuonji Ukyo is the childhood friend of Ranma Saotome. Engaged by their fathers when they were four, Saotome Genma ran off with the dowry and left the unfortunate girl behind, not bothering to correct Ranma about Ukyo's gender.
From that day forth, for ten years, Ukyo led her life as a boy, dressing like one, acting like one and even binding her breasts to hide her feminine side, swearing revenge against Genma and Ranma.
Genma, she gave her vengeance to. What a shock, however, when she found out that it wasn't Ranma who was at fault when she tried to attack him. Instead, she was on the receiving end of a few well placed compliments which actually led to her believing that Ranma actually wanted to go through with the relationship.
Of course, this is how the shouting would normally go. However, Ukyo has found peace with Ranma and so therefore, she is not part the rat-race to become Ranma's fiancé. Though the other two haven't realized it yet, Ranma has already chosen the winner.
"AIREN! Shampoo made too-too delicious ramen. You come eat, yes?"
The bimbo of Nerima: Shampoo of the Amazon Tribe, who followed Ranma after she was defeated by him while he was in his cursed form. She was bound by honor to follow through with the Kiss of Death she gave to female Ranma, but in an accident, male-Ranma defeats her and she bestows male-Ranma the Kiss of Marriage. After some confusion and some shampoo, aka, the Xi Fa Xiang Gao Shiatsu memory erasing technique being used on Akane to make her forget Ranma, she left for China after she realized that the two were one.
But, the peace was to be short-lived, for she soon reappeared to stake her claim for Ranma, this time, with Cologne, the 300 year old Amazon matriarch making her debut appearance into the Nerima district and settled down by opening a Ramen shop called Nekohanten or Cat Café.
"SHAMPOO, MY SWEET! COME INTO THESE LOVING AR- ARRGH!"
The blind duck known as Mousse, he is well versed in the use of hidden weapons, to the point that he could carry a four ton steel encased explosive without showing so much as a bulge. Shampoo's lifelong friend, he seeks to win her heart but has been thwarted many times, however inadvertently, by Ranma. He usually dons bottle thick glasses to help with his poor sight, but this time, he just ran into a tree.
Of course, form previous, past events, post-Nerima War, Mousse is not a rival of Ranma, anymore: he is a friend, a valuable one, at that.
Thankfully, though, this was not the case: the Amazons had already left Nerima after previous events and Mousse was working at the Ucchan.
"HO HO HO HO HO! Ranma-darling, I'm sure that you would rather dine like a king at my expense!"
Kuno Kodachi, ever sharp as the sword she was named after. She self-declared herself to be Ranma's fiancé, much to the chagrin the other three fiancés. How this came to be, you ask? It involved a man bonking her on the head with a kettle after a failed assassination attempt on Tendo Akane (assassination is a strong word, though, let's say, beating up) and the same man saving her from a fall. Three guesses as to who the man is. And the first two don't count.
"COME INTO THESE LOVING ARMS, TENDO AKANE, PIGTAILED GIRL!"
"RAN-CHAN IS MINE YOU BITCHES!"
"AIREN BELONG TO SHAMPOO!"
"YOU PEASANTS DON'T KNOW ANYTHING OF IT!"
This is, of course, the subsequent cat fight which takes place after the three stake their claim for Ranma in front of each other. However, this morning, Ukyo and Shampoo, Mousse and Ryoga, weren't there, so only the Kuno siblings did battle, which, thankfully, did a lot less damage than normal.
Suppose then Akane appears with a pot of … something which we don't know what it is and ought to have its own column in the periodic table, simply because no one has seen a substance like it.
Suppose Ranma says to Akane that she should throw it away for the good of everyone and he starts insulting her about her cooking.
Suppose that Akane whips her mallet out and slams Ranma into the stratosphere via Akane Air.
What was the point of this analytical analysis of a morning at the Tendo Dojo?
Because this is exactly what happened on one fine spring weekend.
Tsukamoto Yakumo was, in all respects, like Tendo Kasumi of the Tendo Dojo. There are, however, some very distinct differences.
I'm hungry, where's my cell phone, Yakumo, I… YAKUMO!
Tsukamoto Yakumo could read minds, or, more specifically, the minds of those who showed affection towards her. Her older sister, Tsukamoto Tenma, for example.
"Yakumoooo, I'm hungry and where's my cell phone?" she asked in her depressed manner.
She sighed. "Nee-san, I'm pretty sure your cell was in your room and I'm going out to go shopping, so you'll have to wait a bit for lunch."
Ever the obedient housewife like figure, she did all the chores. But she didn't mind, for she dearly cherished her sister.
She went out and walked to the local store. She usually liked to spend her time there, looking for all the food items she needed. But, today, it was not the case, for she had a hungry sister to feed.
Once she had paid for all the food items, she hurried past the Hanai residence, for she could hear the VERY loud thoughts of one Hanai Haruki, class president of 2-C (School Rumble 2-C, not my 2-C), her sister's homeroom. She herself was in 2-F (she's originally in 1-F) and was very grateful for that since she could barely stand Hanai's thoughts.
The rather depressing part of her psychic ability is that she had the ability to detect the thoughts of most of her suitors, meaning she has some rather…colorful insights into the teenage male mind and hindering her social abilities. As such, she rarely hangs around with other boys. Her good looks did not help, either. In fact, she rarely hangs around with other girls, being rather shy herself. In fact, she really only hangs around with a select few.
The first was her sister's group of friends: Suou Mikoto, Hanai's childhood friend, Takano Akira, the club president of the Tea club to which she could finally join after Hanai was banned from, and Sawachika Eri, the child of a mixed marriage, her father being Japanese and her mother, English. Though the last was probably not as much for she was in competition for the only man she hangs out with (not that he knows of either of the girls' feelings).
That man was Harima Kenji, a successful manga artist, who appointed Yakumo, unofficially, to be his manga assistant. In fact, it was he who started Yakumo's love for manga and quickly learnt the terms to describe manga: A fact which actually led to her huge embarrassment when she misinterpreted her group of friends trying to 'yaoify' Hanai Haruki. In this case, however, 'Yaoi' was just simply the name of an author of a UFO book, written in different kanji, for those of you who are unfamiliar with Japanese.
The one friend she hangs around with was Sara Adiemus, an exchange student from England who is a nun-in-training at the local church. One day, when trying to save her cat, Iori, she ran into an aggressive dog. Yakumo was saved by Sara via some unorthodox methods (barking at the dog) and the two became friends ever since.
However, today, she was about to get a dose of déjà vu and a new friend.
"Ah geez, damn tomboy, all I was doin' was tryin' to help her cooking! She didn' hafta use the mallet that hard!"
Saotome Ranma was less than pleased with his landing place. He was completely unfamiliar with the area he was in and he landed in a garbage CAN, of all places! One with LOTS of GARBAGE WATER!
Thankfully, after a quick dip in a lake and a pouring of hot water from a portable thermostat he kept with him nowadays, he was trying to find the fastest way back to Nerima. After talking to the residents of the local area, he found out he was in Yagami, the prefecture directly south of central Tokyo. He could always take a train home but he didn't have any money, so he would have to go by foot.
He was approaching a bridge, trying to find the fastest way out of town when he heard a scream and he ran off to check it out.
Tsukamoto Yakumo was never good with dogs. She was absolutely terrified of them.
Of course, she froze up when she ran into one. She was nearly home when a rather violent pit bull ran into her (not sure if they exist in Japan, if you can find a more suitable breed, tell me and I'll put it here).
She was frozen on the spot and she couldn't move. Then she screamed once the dog ran towards her.
Someone, please, save me.
Her prayers were answered when a red blur leaped in front of her and punched the dog away, who seemed knocked out for the moment. The man turned around and asked, "Are you alright?"
"Yes. Thank you, Stranger-san," she said, picking up her bags of groceries.
"My name's Saotome Ranma," he said, assisting her in doing so and he picked up all the bags of groceries without too much strain. He was a martial artist, after all.
"Arigato, Saotome-san," she said politely.
Ranma winced at that. "Call me Ranma. Saotome-san is my father," he said, trying to be respectful.
She nodded and looked behind Ranma and yelled very timidly, "Look out, Ranma-san!"
He turned around saw the dog running at him again and thanks to all the groceries, he couldn't do anything as the dog leaped, bit and held onto his arm.
Ranma was definitely pissed. He had just been booted away from home and now he had been bitten by a DOG. It was time for him to vent some of his anger.
He calmly gave the bags of shopping to Yakumo and he booted the dog into the stratosphere and hopefully, into the next two towns.
"Sorry about that," Ranma said and prepared to take the bags back, but couldn't because Yakumo refused to hand them over.
"Ranma-san, you're bleeding all over your arm. Follow me, I need to clean your arm up," she said. "It's the least I can do to thank you."
Ranma looked at the petite girl and thought, 'Kawaii! Akane could take lessons from her!'
This was seen by Yakumo and she blushed, for previously, she couldn't see his thoughts, though she did wonder who Akane was.
The two walked back in silence to Yakumo's traditional Japanese house. At least Ranma could get used to it: Ranma lived in one.
"Here we are then, Ranma-san," she said. She opened the door and said, "Nee-san, I'm home!" She got no response.
"She must be out with her friends. Come on, Ranma-san, come in and sit down, I'll just get the first-aid kit," she said, pointing Ranma the way.
Ranma took off his shoes and walked in to the living room where it was set up like the Tendo equivalent. He sat down on one of the mats and waited for Yakumo to return with the first-aid kit.
She returned a little while later and started to clean Ranma's wound. As they did so, they formally introduced themselves to each other and they talked about their lives. Ranma's life, Yakumo thought, was very interesting and wondered how Ranma managed to get through it all without suffering the least bit of mind trauma.
Ranma found out that she was a manga assistant to Harima Hario, the artist of whom he was following the storyline. Ranma said it was very interesting and she said she would tell the artist of his opinions. Yakumo wouldn't divulge his identity to anyone as the artist asked she keep his identity a secret and Ranma pried no further for he knew she wouldn't tell anyone.
Whilst the pair was talking in the kitchen (they moved there after realizing that Yakumo needed to start dinner: they had been talking for a while), Tsukamoto Tenma walked into the kitchen and saw the guy and her sister.
Go, Yakumo! She backed out to tell her friends about it.
Once Yakumo had finished dinner, Ranma helped her bring it to the table, since he was the guest and thought he should help. Once the dinner was served, they continued to talk about Ranma's life (It was that long of a story). Tenma then snuck into the kitchen to make some barley tea to try and pass off as Yakumo's. VERY surprisingly, she succeeded (considering her cooking skills were second only to Akane) and walked into the living room.
Ranma and Yakumo were still conversing about Ranma's life, Yakumo trying to make Ranma see his past faults and doing so very successfully: no one could ignore her.
"This is great," Ranma said, shoveling in copious amounts of food. "You're the best chef I know, tied with my fiancé's sister and after my mom."
Yakumo smiled, pleased that Ranma was enjoying her food.
"So, Ranma, I think you should be a bit gentler with your comments. I think Akane was deeply insulted with the words."
Ranma slowed down to talk. "I see. Arigato, Yakumo."
They were halfway through the conversation when Tenma walked in.
"Here we are then, Yakumo's new boyfriend, some of her famous BARLEY TEA!" she said in her bubbly fashion.
Ranma had a mouth full of food at the time. He spat it all out, though thankfully all of it went back into his bowl.
Yakumo shook her hands. "Iie, nee-san, he's just a friend," she said, blushing madly (she's very shy at the mention of a relationship).
But this was said too late as she tripped and the glasses of barley tea went forward, glass and all.
They splattered all over Ranma, activating his curse. Ranma didn't get angry, saying just one thing.
"Quite the little klutz, aren't we," she said in a joking voice.
*WHAM!*
For those of you who don't know, Yakumo is extremely protective of her sister. She has a hidden, innate ability to hurt those that insult her faults. This was still the case.
We can see now that all the food on the table was now on the floor and Ranma was in a position very similar to the one where Ranma had met Akane for the first time after seeing her naked in the bathroom. Yakumo held certain item in the lounge room: more specifically, the lounge room table.
Ranma-chan was crushed underneath the table with a nice lump on her head. Thankfully, Yakumo wasn't as strong as Akane so Ranma wasn't knocked out. That didn't mean to say that it didn't hurt.
"I-Itai," Ranma-chan said. She slowly picked up the table and looked at Yakumo, whose eyes were covered by the bangs on her head.
She then returned to normal and looked at the table in her hands. "Oh, no, Ranma-san, are you all right?"
Hmm, instinctual martial artist reflex. She must really love her sister.
Ranma-chan nodded and poured some soup over her head, turning him back to normal. All this was seen by Tenma as she tried to comprehend this.
"Y-y-y-y-you," she stuttered.
"It's a curse," Ranma said nicely. "I'll explain."
And so, he explained to Tenma (Yakumo was cleaning the dishes, having heard the story already and believing him on the spot) about the workings of the curse of Jusenkyo and his life story. Tenma made many accusations of him being a monkey, but they stopped after Ranma explained that he had interested prospects to marry one of them after breaking his engagements with at least three of them and that two of them were a little too thick to see the truth. She was also fascinated at Jusenkyo and wanted to go immediately and turn herself into a cat, but Ranma stopped her.
"Believe, me, it isn't worth it," he said hurriedly, for more than one reason. Yakumo came back into the room with some tea and poured some for Ranma, Tenma and herself.
After Ranma had finished explaining his life's story, it was very late and both Yakumo and Tenma insisted he stay for the night since Ranma lived so far away. After hearing of his main, yet least preferred method of travel, they realized it would take more than a mallet whack to send him back since no one they knew had that kind of strength. After being defeated by a curse stronger than Cursed Spring of Ox-riding-a-Yeti-while-holding-a-Crane-and-an-Eel, the curse of the Puppy Dog Eyes, courtesy of Tenma, he relented and found himself in the bathtub. His clothes being dried after what they had been through (Ranma explained that his clothes came from China and they were much easier to wear, considering his curse).
"Ranma-san, your clothes are out here for you," Yakumo said.
"Arigato, Yakumo," he said and he got out of the bath, put a towel on and dried himself off. He walked out and saw his clothes in a neat pile, folded and ready to be put on. He did so and walked out to the hallway and found Yakumo.
"Umm, Ranma-san, your room is down that way, next to mine and across Nee-san's," she said.
"Hai! Arigato, Yakumo!"
He walked down into the room and closed the door behind him. Yakumo went into her room and closed the door behind her, deciding to read that book of hers once more before turning the lights off and going to sleep herself (If you've read or seen School Rumble, you'll know which book I mean. I recommend that you at least watch School Rumble; it's very similar to Ranma ½. Apart from a noticeable lack of monsters, there are some martial arts in it and the wacky jokes and misunderstandings are still there. In other words, it falls under the romantic comedy genre.).
It was morning when Ranma woke up to the smell of something divine, probably breakfast, he thought. He went downstairs to find Yakumo up and making breakfast and he was not disappointed at the smell of it.
"Yakumo, can I use your backyard for some training?" he asked.
"Hai," she replied.
Ranma walked out to the backyard and started off with a breathing exercise. He then slid into a series of kicks, hitting invisible enemies and went faster and faster. He finished with the 'Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken' attack (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) against an invisible Ryoga and he smiled.
"Ranma-san, breakfast's ready!"
"Hai, Yakumo!"
He picked up his towel and walked inside to find Tenma, not normally a morning person, at the table, ready to eat. Yakumo sat down and Ranma followed suit.
"Itadakimasu!" Tenma said and they began to eat.
The meal was going quietly until Yakumo had something for Ranma.
"Umm, Ranma-san?"
"Hai, Yakumo?"
"Here," she said, passing him an envelope. "This is your ticket to get home. Considering how far you live, I thought it might be easier for you to go by train rather than walk back."
Ranma looked at the envelope and said, "Arigato, Yakumo."
Tenma looked at this and said, "Ain't that sweet? You're looking after your boyfriend, Yakumo!"
Ranma choked and spat his food into the bowl again and Yakumo blushed and said, "Nee-san, he is just a friend."
After breakfast, Ranma said goodbye to both the Tsukamoto sisters and he asked that, if they could, they could visit him at the Tendo Dojo in Nerima. He gave them an address.
"Pop in anytime! I'm sure everyone else would like to meet ya!"
Tenma and Yakumo nodded, saying they would visit whenever they could. Ranma nodded and he began to roof hop his way to the station, hoping that they could meet again in the near future.
Just then, the phone rang and Yakumo went to pick it up.
"Moshi moshi?" she said.
"Ah! Imouto-san, I need your help with the manga, I'm falling behind and I need you to help me ink in some pages!"
"Hai, Harima-san. I'll be there right away."
She put the phone down and she went to get changed. She walked out of the house after informing Tenma that she was going to see Sara (Tenma still doesn't know about the manga) and though it was very slight, everyone noticed the extra skip in her step.
(A/N: In case you're wondering, I've placed Yagami Town in the Kanagawa Prefecture, the prefecture directly below Tokyo Central. Also, Nerima is the most North-Eastern Ward in Tokyo, saying that you could call Nerima a suburb or even a city but I think that it is better to call the entire area under one council, like a mayor or someone of similar stature. Yagami is also fictional)
I finished by first chapter of this story. So how do you like it? Review, please!
This will be on hold as I work on my other story, 'Something Old, Something New.' However, I might write another chapter if I get into writer's block. Two more things I want to say.
1. Read my other story 'The Other World of Rumiko Takahashi' and
2. CLICK THAT GODDAMN REVIEW BUTTON!