Sparkle

I walked down the street towards the radio station that I worked at. Today was going to be the worst day I have ever experienced. The reason? Only one thing could make me this angry, this nervous, this confused, this scared, and most of all, and this was the weirdest emotion I was experiencing, I was excited. I didn't want to arrive at the station. If I did, it would all come too quickly. On the other hand it would all come quicker and all be over quicker. This was supposed to be the highlight of me and Caitlyn's year apparently. I knew it wouldn't be though. I was dreading it. I will tell you why. The hottest music act in America, possibly even the world, was going to be interviewed by me and Caitlyn. What's so bad about this I hear you ask. The lead singer is my ex. And what make it worse is that their new song is about me and our break-up, I only knew this because it was called Sorry and he had let it slip that it was about a relationship that he had messed up. I hadn't heard it, no one had, and it was to be premiered on our show. I'd reached the tall building of MMFM – Musical Magic FM. I walked through the stylish reception area waving to Jenny the receptionist and into the elevator. I walked into Studio one, placed my coffee on the desk and took my regular seat.

"Hey Mitchie, for once you're in first. Caitlyn phoned in and said she won't be able to come in for two hours." My producer Jake told me.

"Thanks Jake, I guess I'll have to do this interview by myself then." he nodded. I quickly texted my best friend.

Thanks for leaving me on my own without telling me. M.

Sorry, but I have something to do and if I'd told you, you would have persuaded me to come in. C xxx.

I guessed she was right. I would have gotten her to come in. I just hoped that there wasn't going to be any dead air. Jake signalled that I would be live in 3…2…1…

"Hey party people; this is Mitchie Torres on MMFM. Caitlyn won't be with me for the first bit of the show, so I apologise if it's boring. Today we have an exclusive Connect 3 interview. They will be in the studio later and we will play their brand new never before heard single, Sorry."

It was halfway through the show and thankfully the band was running late. It was a music break so I quickly texted Caitlyn.

Hey, when are you going to be here? M xxx.

I am just getting into the elevator. Guess who's limo just pulled up outside. C xxx.

Oh great, it was about to happen. I was about to see the guy that broke my heart exactly a year ago. Caitlyn walked in the door.

"Hey Mitchie."

"Oh thank God you're here; I don't think I would be able to do this without you."

"Well, you really should prepare yourself because they will be here soon." As if they were on cue, as soon as Caitlyn stopped talking, the elevator doors opened to reveal Connect 3, even him. I wasn't sure if he would come. He knew the interview was with me. I guess he just wanted to see my reaction to the song.

"You have to tell me why you missed half the show."

"I can't now because it's a long story and they're about to come in." I shot her a nervous look. She sat down and I followed her example and sat too. The band walked in the door and smiled. I saw him smile, it was a half-hearted smile, but it made me weak at the knees, this was exactly what I didn't want to happen.

"Sorry we're late; Shane here had to fix his hair for the tenth time." Nate apologised.

"I think that's a bit of an exaggeration." Shane said.

"Ok, the ninth time then, happy now?"

"Very, now can you stop embarrassing me?" they all laughed. I joined in even though I didn't feel like laughing. He looked right at me. It was at that moment I knew I still had the same feelings I used to have for him, no matter how much crap I went through with him. Jake signalled again.

"And we're back." I said into the mic.

"So am I, so the show is back to The Cait…"

"And Mitchie Show. Joining us is the fashionably late Connect 3."

"Hey." They all said at the same time.

"So, guys has writing the new album been fun?" Cait asked.

"Yeah, not blowing my own trumpet here, but there's a lot of good tracks on it. Some that you can just get up and dance to and some that everyone can really relate to," Nate answered.

"And one of them includes the word birds!" everyone, and I mean everyone, knew about Jason's bird obsession.

"We hear the new song is about an ex of Shane's, was it just you that wrote it Shane, or was it a group effort?" she had to raise that subject; I knew He was thinking exactly the same thing as me, and It wasn't as if she didn't know about it.

"All me, and it only took an hour to write."

"Wow, that's fast."

"Well, I wrote about everything I was feeling at the time, so it was quite simple." I could tell he was looking at me, but I had my head down.

"Well, we'll continue this after we play your new song. So here it is: the much anticipated new Connect 3 soon-to-be hit, Sorry." The song began to play. The guys talked amongst themselves while I listened intently.

Broken hearts and last goodbyes

Restless nights but lullabies

Help to make this pain go away

I realise I let you down

Told you that I'd be around

I'm building up the strength just to say

I'm sorry

For breaking all the promises that I wasn't around to keep

It's on me

This time is the last time I will ever beg you to stay

But you're already on your way

Filled with sorrow, filled with pain

Knowing that I am to blame

For leaving your heart out in the rain

And I know you're going to walk away

And leave me with the price to pay

Before you go I want to say that

I'm sorry

For breaking all the promises that I wasn't around to keep

It's on me

This time is the last time I will ever beg you to stay

But you're already on your way

Can't make it alive on my own

But if you have to go

Then please girl, just leave me alone

'Cause I don't want to see

You and me going our separate ways

I'm begging you to stay

If it isn't too late

I'm sorry

For breaking all the promises that I wasn't around to keep

It's on me

This time is the last time I will ever beg you to stay

But you're already on your way

But you're already on your way

I didn't realise I was crying until the last note. One of my tears dropped onto the piece of paper in front of me. Caitlyn began the show again whilst I covered up my tears badly. Instead of staying there I walked out of the studio. I knew Caitlyn would understand. I walked until I was sure they couldn't see me and leant against the wall. I slowly slid to the ground. It was then that I broke down. He was sorry. If he was that sorry why didn't he tell me any time in the past year? It was as if he had it planned. That must've been it. He thought that he could just say that he was sorry and come waltzing back into my life. He knew me so well, I would let him do that, but I wasn't going to. The thing I needed right that moment was a hug from my best friend, or even him. I wasn't going back into that studio. I should though, to show him that I was over him, even if I was nowhere close. I had tried to get over him, believe me I had. Everything I tried just wouldn't work. The amount of nights I cried myself to sleep thanks to him and his empty promises.

Flashback

"You've done it again."

"What've I done?"

"You said, no, you promised we would stay in together tonight because we haven't had any time together, but how could we, when you don't come in till eleven. I've been worrying about you half the night, and you didn't even call me. Now you're telling me that you won't be here for our five year anniversary of being together, because you'll be touring. Yet again, another broken promise. I'm fed up."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing, because I'm leaving."

"What do you mean you're leaving?"

"I mean I'm leaving you, I'm moving out. I'm giving up on trying. I don't want to be second to the band anymore." I began to pack up my stuff.

"I'm sorry Mitch."

"Sorry's not good enough. And don't call me that, only people that are close to me call me that, and you aren't anymore."

"Please, don't go, I can't live without you Mitchie. You're the only person that can keep me grounded."

"Well, I guess you'll be floating from now on." I finished packing. "Goodbye." I placed my keys on the table by the door and walked out. The tears I had been keeping back broke free.

End Flashback

I was not going to go through that again. No matter how much I needed him. I was not going to believe that junk he told me last time. "I promise I won't hurt you Mitch." Another broken promise. I felt someone presence.

"Go away, cant you see I'm not in the mood for talking?" I said without looking up.

"Neither am I, but I'm not leaving you like you left me." the person said. I instantly recognised it as America's most sought after bachelor, Shane Gray.

"What do you want?"

"To see if you're alright."

"Well obviously I'm not if I'm crying my eyes out in a hallway. Unless you have something worth saying, leave me alone."

"I meant it."

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

"Like I said last year, sorry's not good enough." He sat down next to me.

"Ok, how about this? I love you, I can't live without you. The reason I was late today wasn't because of my hair, it was because I refused to come. I was literally forced to come, but before that they got some woman to put make-up on me. If you took it off, you would see that I'm extremely pale, I have red eyes, with huge bags under them. I cry myself to sleep most nights because I was stupid enough to let you go. I don't even care how girly that sounds because it's the truth."

"Then why didn't you -"

"Come talk to you?" I nodded. "I knew that no matter how much pain we were both in that you needed space. I've hardly ever come out of my apartment. I only ate when I was starving. If you ask Nate and Jason, they'll tell you that the only way the albums coming out now if because they dragged me out of my apartment. I've only written sad music. I don't expect you to forgive me; I just want you to know how I feel. I need you in my life again; I can only ask that we can be friends again."

"I-I-I d-d-don't know." He wanted to be friends. I wouldn't be able to deal with that, I would constantly want more. I love him. I couldn't walk away again, no matter how much I wanted to. I felt Shane wrap his arm around my shoulders. I didn't make him move, I didn't object.

"Mitch, can I ask you something?" He called me Mitch and I didn't correct him.

"What?"

"Do you still love me? If you say mo, I swear I'll walk out of your life forever." Yes I do still love you Shane, so much, you'll never know.

"Yes, I do." Shane hugged me tighter. I succumbed to the urge I had been fighting for the past few minutes and leant my head onto his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Mitch."

"I know."

"I have a promise I'll keep."

"Which is?"

"No more promises."

"No more promises." I looked up at him. He looked down at me. For the first time I saw how blood shot his eyes were. I also saw that his irises didn't have the same sparkle they used to. I guess I wasn't the only one that was hit hard by the break-up.

"I wrote another song."

"You did?"

"Yeah, but it isn't on the album, I only want you to hear it. I'll play it for you later, if you let me."

"Of course." I was letting him back into my life. I looked up at him again. Slowly he leant down and pressed his lips to mine for just over a second. I closed my eyes. It felt better than it used to. I felt the corners on my lips curve upwards. I opened my eyes to find Shane staring back at me, with that sparkle back in his eyes.

Song is Sorry by Jonas Brothers.