Edit (9/30/18): Hi, I'm Hannah and I have a problem (for newcomers, this is the third version of this long ass fanfiction. For past readers... I know... I'm sorry... I'll stop...)

Because I'm a perfectionist and can't let things go, I decided to rewrite a lot (all) of the chapters. I basically wasn't happy at all with the first set of chapters (understatement; I hated them). Even when I was looking back over this story I would skip to like chapter 7 because I couldn't stand the first bunch. As a firm believer of only putting out things that I'd like to read, I thought I'd redo it. Also this is very public and still getting traffic and I hated the thought of people reading the first part of the old one. So here... have something I'm proud of...

I've also updated it to change the kids' names from my guestimates, before they were released, of Alex, Luke and Emmie, to the cannon Fergus, Farkle and Felicia (as so many wonderful people had kindly pointed out that I was wrong). Also I've kind of accounted (ish) for the events in Forever After. I know technically I should therefore change the title of this fic, but I suck at titles, so it shall stay (...yay?).

Have fun reading (especially the little surprises that are different), I hope you like!

LAST MIN EDIT: Ha okay, so apparently it now updates your story entirely when you replace things. So. I was trying to not be a dick and just background update this with no evidence. I wrote a completely different one-shot story to advertise this and everything because I thought it would remain buried. But. I guess... I don't need that anymore... Well. Hey front page. It's been a while.

Disclaimer: Dreamworks owns everything, and basically my soul at this point.

The Invitation

Shrek sat, uncomfortably, at a chair too small for him. It was hot, there wasn't a cloud in sight, not much shade either. The typically empty plane of grass was full with energy and excitement, people were laughing and sharing a community spirit. Shrek couldn't think of a worse place to spend his weekend. The forest surrounding his swamp had been the chosen place for his friends to make their homes, which meant it attracted attention from other fairy tale folk. It hadn't seemed long to the family before a small village had risen from what used to be perfect solitude. Though no one had settled too close to the ogres, luckily for Shrek the swampland was much less than ideal for most species and races. Yet his wife insisted they involve themselves. Shrek realised it was probably due to her intense fear of their children being lonely. He often wondered how much of that was influenced by her own childhood. He often told her about how ogres didn't tend to have continuous company or a mass of friends, she needn't worry so much. After all, the triplets had each other; he liked that, as did his wife. Yet she still insisted, as she often did.

Shrek slumped back a little further on his chair. He'd spent the whole afternoon claiming to be watching the children, to get out of any small talk his wife involved herself in. Though, there were other annoyances that captured his attention whether he liked it or not. His eyes drifted to the makeshift stage where a group of children were dressed in ridiculous clothes, sharing a terrible rendition of a familiar tale to the ogre. Fortunately for him, it was just close enough for him to hear every single word. The two-piece dragon costume was currently being slain by the prince, joined with narration by a particularly slow reader.

Shrek rolled his eyes, "Is the story nearly over now?"

"Shrek," his wife shot him a glare.

"What?" he gave a small gesture to the small audience sitting in rows, looking enthusiastically on at the production, "I dunno how they can stand it."

"We'll be sitting over there when it's their turn," she stated, nodded in the general direction of the triplets. He raised his eyebrows at her. She narrowed her eyes, "We will."

"I can hardly wait."

"I can't believe they start school next year," Fiona gushed at him. She often did, sometimes bringing herself to tears about the subject. Shrek tried to be indifferent about the matter, but in truth it scared him a little. They were growing up faster than he was comfortable with. He admitted the house wouldn't ever be the same without the three of them constantly under his feet. It was almost enough for the ogre to regret complaining about it. The triplets were long past walking and talking; now writing and counting, albeit not very well, but it would always impress him nonetheless. They were currently playing in the shallows of the small lake, keeping Fiona on the edge of her seat. He would often roll his eyes at her shouting at them to stay away from the deeper parts, he'd keep telling her to leave them alone. They wouldn't drown with so many people around them, he even assumed they would help each other if one should take a misstep. Still, his wife worried endlessly about them. He tried his best to give them as much independence as possible, allowing them to suffer their own consequences; whether that be taking a slightly deeper dip than intended, or missing out on a trip with their siblings for protesting too much. That was how you raised a good, self-assured ogre, he knew the theory from his own upbringing.

"Hey!" Shrek cringed at the voice, suddenly discovering how peaceful he was despite all around him. "Shrek, Fiona!" The ogre rolled his eyes as the 'Exit' gate swung closed with a snap.

"Donkey," he acknowledged his friend's entrance.

"Thanks for watching the kids," the animal grinned as his brood from all about the place flew straight into him. The ogre couple gave a small glance at each other; keeping track of his kids was a lot harder than the animal thought. With their children's insistence to play in the water, and the others refusal to touch it, they were forced to only keep half an eye on the where abouts of the dronkies. It was worse now that they were speaking. It appeared that they developed at a slower rate, they guessed like Dragon, they would live far longer so were in no hurry to grow up. They always had the capabilities of speech, just preferring to make dragon noises. However as of late, Donkey had been encouraging them more and more to use words, like him. And just like him, they did.

"Happy to help, Donkey," Fiona smiled warmly, as their group laughter died out.

"Delighted," Shrek mumbled offhandedly as one of them, Shrek never could fully tell which, began to target him. Donkey only laughed again, distracting the young hybrid.

"Kids, eh? Can't control 'em, but they're little angels really. Am I right, Uncle Shrek?"

The ogre sighed, his eyes drifting to his own 'angels', who were beginning to squabble, "Aye."

Pulling the children away, especially as the event was still buzzing, was a chore for the ogres. They knew it was going to be a struggle, and yet they never seemed prepared for the sulking, protests and crocodile tears. They definitely felt outnumbered by their children when they decided to act out together. The routine was the same every time, the three of them would ignore their parents, whispering to each other and giving side glances. As voices were raised the sulking and protests would begin until they were threatened to be dragged away. The aftermath was just as predictable; as always Fergus came around first, eager to please, Farkle would often be convinced by being allowed to run ahead, and finally Felicia would quit the complaining when she realised no one else was watching her, often dragging her heels behind her family. It was typical, the ogres were used to the routine until-

"Mommy! Look!" Farkle came running back in their direction, he grabbed his mother's hand and began pulling her, "Grandma's here!"

"What?" Fiona laughed a little at his enthusiasm, she gave a glance to her husband, trudging behind, attempting to keep Felicia up with their family. "No she's..."

"Look!" Farkle took off once again, this time joined by his siblings, suddenly enthusiastic about getting home.

"F'it really is her, I think we might need t'plant her there every time we head home," Shrek took his wife's hand, chuckling to himself at the triplets' change of mood.

"I doubt it would be," concern clouded her expression, "she wouldn't ever show up unannounced," Fiona allowed a small mischievous smile to creep upon her lips, "Who knows what kind of foods we'd be offering her if she didn't write in advance."

The couple laughed together. Lillian had first visited their home when Fiona was pregnant, and it quickly became evident to the ogres how uncomfortable she was in doing so. To their surprise, it didn't stop her from coming back. Shrek had to give the woman credit, she never complained once. In fact it impressed him how much she was able to put up with, despite having lived in a palace her whole life. Lillian loved the kids and Fiona so much that she'd do anything. He was thankful for her acceptance of their life, and him. It worked out in the ogre's favour as it meant they didn't have to visit Far Far Away so much. It also allowed them to have a small chuckle to themselves whenever Lillian wasn't looking. Though it was probably her and Fiona laughing at him whenever they went to the castle, it appeared Fiona was the only one who got through living their double life without being laughed at.

"Wait, Farkle's right," Fiona quickened her pace. Shrek ducked his head to see beneath the trees and surely enough his son had seen correctly. There was a royal carriage sat stationary outside of their home.

"But-but... This is grandma's carriage!"

"Farkle, grandma isn't in there, silly!"

"Is she hiding?"

As the ogres reached the clearing before their house, they were greeted by a thoroughly flustered looking messenger. They could tell why too; in the short time the children had, it looked as though they had poked their noses in much of everything. Probably launching a thousand poorly thought out and repeated questions at him too. Thank Grimm it wasn't at them for once.

"Grandma isn't here," Fergus managed to correct his brother's previous statement.

"Don't listen to Farkle, mommy, he's wrong," Felicia bounded up to them, taking her mother's hand and poking her tongue out at her sulking brother.

"But-"

"Um, excuse me, Your Highnesses," the messenger managed to squeeze a word in as the bickering began.

"Yes?" Fiona glanced between the man stood in front of her and the children.

"Hey," Shrek moved his attention to the squabbling triplets, they all turned, suddenly quiet, "Get here." They did as they were told. As much as they didn't listen to him most of the time, they knew when they could push their luck and when he meant business. In front of strangers, especially those who considered them royalty, the little ogres would cooperate, most of the time.

"Uh- yes," he nodded, looking apprehensively at the children, then to Shrek, before returning his gaze – somewhat more comfortably – to Fiona, "Princess Fiona, and..." he threw them a nervous glance again, "family. You have been formally invited to the kingdom of Far Far Away for a royal ball in the name of the young Prince Fergus, Prince Farkle and Princess Felicia," another glance as the children perked up at the mention of their names, "From King Arthur of Far Far Away and... and Grandma."

"See! I told you it's Grandma!"