Love Hina – The Once and Future Manager

Fanfic

Chapter One – Another Day, Another Accident. And Another. And Another…

Late April, another Saturday morning, before dawn

For the last several weeks, Keitaro has been trying to avoid the girls without making it seem like he's ignoring them. Only by working late, sleeping little, and waking early has he been able to keep up with his studies and all the work needed around Hinata-sou. Work which piles up whenever there is an 'incident' involving Naru, Motoko or both. His nerves are frazzled, and he's nearly exhausted.

Keitaro knows the manager's review is next weekend, and he doesn't want to add to what he is pretty sure is already a mountain of complaints the girls have against him. (If I score too low, it gives the girls the right to take a vote on whether or not I can stay on.)

He knows that some of the tenants do not like him, no matter how hard he tries to please them. Also, his bad luck seems to have kicked into overdrive ever since he accepted the position of manager here. He's been on the receiving end of so many attacks for perceived mistakes on his part, he quit trying to remember, and now just tracks them in his journal.

Both of which he fears he is uniquely qualified for. If it is a majority vote, the manager can choose to challenge the vote, and is then allowed a week to prove that they are a capable manager before another vote is taken for or against them.

If the vote is unanimous against him, Keitaro would have no choice but to resign immediately, no appeals. Of course, Keitaro has already decided that if it is a majority vote, he'll resign anyways, rather than upset the girls in trying to fight their decision.

Looking around, Keitaro doesn't see anyone in the corridor. Rushing across, he knocks on the changing room door. After a few seconds, he knocks again. Hopeful that no one is inside, he opens the door to gather his cleaning materials. Seeing that all the towels are stacked and in place, and no clothes are hanging on the hooks, he knows no one is in the hot springs right now. He hangs his sign on the door 'WARNING: Manager cleaning hot springs, Do not enter!'

Relaxing a little for the first time this morning, Keitaro opens the door to the springs, hoping he can get them cleaned before anyone shows up. For over an hour, he scrubs, rubs, and sweeps, cleaning every part as thoroughly as he can. Once finished, he decides to take a quick rest break before continuing to the next item in his to-do book. (If I can just manage to keep from being attacked, I have just enough time to get everything spotless and catch a few hours of sleep.)

Dragging his broom behind him, he rolls up his pant legs, sits on the edge, and rests his aching feet in the warmth of the springs. He takes a moment to remove a cloth from his pocket to wipe the sweat from his forehead. As luck would have it, Motoko, Naru and Kitsune pick that moment to walk out of the changing room, having exchanged their clothes for towels without Keitaro hearing them. Kitsune, a wicked smile on her face, drops the 'warning' sign behind a bush as they walk out of the changing room.

"Just as I figured. He's just sitting around doing nothing, when we were expecting a clean hot spring to bathe in." Naru's voice is unforgiving. "Hey, Keitaro, get off your lazy backside and finish cleaning the hot spring!" Not wanting to cause an argument, Keitaro uses the broom to push himself to his feet, and starts sweeping again, although the entire area is already spotless.

"By the Spirits, if we did not keep our eyes on you, Urashima, not only would we be deprived of relaxation in a clean hot springs, but you would no doubt attempt some perverted act against us." Motoko, holding her ever-present sword, glares at Keitaro. He attempts to ignore them, and concentrates on sweeping his way out of danger.

"Keitarooo? Ya wanna see something?" Kitsune drawls, her hands at the top of her towel. "Ah need another deferral on my rent fer a few days, and you're just the person Ah need to 'see'."

(Imgonnadie, imgonnadie, imgonnadie!) Keitaro does his best to ignore her, knowing that, with Naru AND Motoko both nearby, if he turns around his fate will be sealed. He continues to sweep, making for the gate to the side gardens and safety.

"Hey, Keitaro honey, didn't ya'll hear me? Ah want to show ya'll something." Kitsune comes up silently behind Keitaro, Motoko and Naru at her sides. Naru grabs his shoulder and spins him around. "Hey, are you trying to sneak away? I thought I told you to finish cleaning the hot springs!"

As if predestined, the handle of the broom catches Motoko's towel, causing it to fall from her chest. Blood dripping from his nose, Keitaro releases the broom, and drops to his knees, bowing his face to the ground "I'm sorry, it was an accident! Please, forgive me!"

Unfortunately, the falling broom bristles catch the bottom of Naru's towel, pulling it off her body as well. Feeling something drop onto his outstretched hands, Keitaro's curiosity gets the better of his self-preservation instinct, and he looks up to see Naru's towel. Blood gushes freely from his nose as his body flops over backwards, slamming his head into the ground.

Kitsune knows what is about to happen and snickers behind her hand, although with just the tiniest twinge of guilt, which she talks herself out of. (Poor Keitaro, there he goes again. Thank goodness he's invincible or Ah'd feel like a real ass fer removing his sign…..again.)

"You pervert! What do you think you are doing?" Naru, grabbing her towel, performs a spinning placement kick, setting Keitaro up for…

"Let my sword bring justice upon this vile, deceitful, perverted, lecherous, male! Shinmei-ryu no Zanganken! God's Cry Attack of The Stone Cleaving Sword!" Chi slams into Keitaro, sending him to crash into one of the out-buildings, dust and smoke from the landing obscuring him from view.

Kitsune, her mouth hanging open, stares at the spot just vacated by Keitaro. "Dang, Ah never even got my chance to get a deferment off him." Grinning at Naru and Motoko, she says "Ya'll need to slow it down a bit, let us mere mortals have a chance to work our kinda magic."

Naru waves a hand at her "Kitsune, you know you'd never show that pervert anything. Admit it."

To herself (Ah'm not so sure. If he was to ask real nice, who knows? But, Ah know Keitaro's too much of a gentleman fer that to ever happen.)

Replying to Naru, the Fox says, "Well, Ah know that, and ya'll know that. But" sticking her thumb over her shoulder in the direction Keitaro landed "he don't know that. Besides, Keitaro always passes out before Ah get anywhere near that close, and when he wakes up, he just assumes he did something he aughtn't've and viola! Mamma Kitsune gets what Mamma Kitsune wants."

"I can only say it is fortunate for Urashima that the inn must be doing so well that it can afford his taking money from its coffers to pay your rent." Motoko raises her hand "However, that money could be better served in maintenance and upkeep. Please try to refrain from your attempts to 'extort' free rent unless absolutely necessary, Kitsune."

Placing her hand over her heart, Kitsune fakes distress "Extort? Why, ya'll make me sound like a common criminal, Motoko. Ah'll have you know Ah am ANYTHING but common! Besides, Ah always pay him back, ya know." She winks, grins and waves as she jumps into the hot springs.

Naru looks around for the first time that morning, and notices how spotless everything is. "You know, I hadn't noticed before, but it does look like Keitaro did clean the hot springs. Look, it's spotless. I-I just assumed, since he was sitting there, that he hadn't done anything at all."

Motoko is silent for a moment "Perhaps he had only just finished cleaning it. It may be we found him trying to rest for a little before continuing his work for the day. We may have misjudged the situation." She looks off in the direction they last saw Keitaro flying. To herself more than to anyone else, she says, "Judging from the condition of the hot springs, Urashima must have been up since before daybreak to have so thoroughly cleaned everything."

Kitsune wades to the edge and looks up at the two "Well, it wouldn't be the first time ya'll unloaded on Keitaro for not working on something, even though he had already finished. Course, the free show he got from ya'll doesn't excuse anything, even if that was just an accident."

Naru also looks towards the out-buildings "Well, he couldn't have known we were bunched up right behind him like that. We should have given him a little bit more room, knowing how clumsy he can be." (I'll make it up to him at breakfast. I'll smile for him, and offer to make him an extra slice of toast and jam, just to make up for it. That always seems to make that pervert feel better.)

"I feel you are correct, Naru. And Urashima did do an excellent job cleaning the springs, when we expected them to still be sullied." Motoko replies. Then, turning and smiling at Naru, she says, her face blushing slightly "However, I am somewhat against the idea of having Keitaro as our manager."

Naru looks at Motoko, pretending surprise. "Motoko! Only somewhat against having Keitaro as manager? What is this world coming too?" Naru then smiles at the sword master. Shyly, she looks down and says, her face blushing, "I'm fond of him too, Motoko."

Returning her blush, the sword master nods, a warm smile on her face as she puts a hand on Naru's shoulder. "Keitaro, I mean, Urashima does have a strange ability to grow on one, it would seem."

The two girls, noticing that Kitsune hasn't said anything, turn and look at the Fox. Sitting in the hot springs, Kitsune looks back at them, her own face flushed with color. "Yeah, yeah, Ah feel the same way. Keitaro's just like a puppy. No matter what he does, ya just can't help but wanna give him a hug when he looks at ya with that smile of his."

Feeling pleased at their admissions, Naru forgets about what happened as she and Motoko join Kitsune in the hot springs.

Meanwhile, at the outbuilding:

Pushing himself up, Keitaro is thankful he is out of sight of the residents. He sits there, able, for one of the rare occasions after he has been attacked, to sit in peace, no one able to see the tears of pain in his eyes as his body attempts to heal itself of its most recent injuries. Wincing in pain, he resets his broken nose, having had a lot of practice in the procedure over the last half-year. He then looks at the hole in the wall of the out-building and sighs.

"Another repair job I have to do. I am NOT going to be able to get everything done today now unless I skip meals, too. Maybe if I ask her nicely, Shinobu might give me a little extra for breakfast tomorrow, if the girls don't stop her from doing anything nice for the 'pervert'."

The look on Keitaro's face is anything but happy as he ponders his increased workload. Rising slowly, he takes out his notepad and writes down what he needs to get from his parts and lumber storage in one of the old annex buildings to fix this newest destruction. Looking at his notes, he heads back to the dorm to wash and wax the floors on the third level.

After an hour of striping, washing, and re-waxing, he's almost finished with the third floor. Silently, Su peaks out of her door, hoping to find her favorite victim. Seeing Keitaro buffing the floor, she whispers, "There you is, Keitaros. Just stays right there, I gots a new bazookas attack I wanna tries on ya" she whispers to herself.

Keitaro, unaware of the impending attack, sits back and surveys his work (Well, that's got the third floor finished. Su always likes it nice and shiny for sliding. And, I gotta admit, it is fun.)

Suddenly he hears "Ready, Fires!" Instinct causes Keitaro to turn his head; luck ensures he waits too long to do so. A hellish two-foot wide ball of flaming banana peel mush hurls towards him, sweeping him up and along for the ride. With a thundering roar, the fiery ball of mush crashes, with him stuck to it, through the window railing to land right in the middle of the previously cleaned hot springs.

As Keitaro bobs to the surface and notices his surroundings, he groans (Oh great! Not only do I have to clean the hot springs again, and the third floor, and repair the out-building, but now I have a rail needs to be fixed. Oh well, I guess any sleep tonight is over-rated, anyways) he thinks wearily.

Standing, Keitaro winces and barely suppresses a yelp of pain. He looks into the water to see a five-inch long, half-inch thick wood splinter embedded in his upper left thigh. Looking around to make sure no one is near, he squats down and grits his teeth as he pulls it out. With a small scream of pain, quickly suppressed, it comes out, leaving a deep gash in his thigh. (OW! Oh perfect! It feels like a piece broke off inside. Now I'll have to go see Hikari again. But I don't have time today! I have to get everything finished before tomorrow morning or I'm sunk!)

Standing again, he rinses the blood off, and after examining the wound, wraps a work cloth from his pocket around it until his body can heal the edges and stop the bleeding. He then carefully tosses the wood to the trash bin near the changing room door and starts cleaning the hot springs, again, before going up to re-buff the third floor.

Meanwhile,

Kitsune, watching from her room, looks down with a touch of sadness at their manager. Raising her sake glass, she softly says to herself, "Ya know, sometimes no matter how hard you try, Keitaro, it all just comes back and bites ya in the ass." The Fox downs her sake, and contemplates another glass before breakfast.

Noting how Keitaro suddenly squats into the water, Kitsune sets her glass down and grabs her binoculars, curious. (What's he doing? He ain't doing what Ah think he's doing, is he? You naughty doggie, Keitaro!) All thoughts of Keitaro doing anything perverted goes out the window as Keitaro grimaces in pain and lets out a not-quite silent scream of pain. Kitsune gasps as she sees his hand come up with a half-foot long splinter of wood, blood covering more than half its length.

Kitsune's free hand goes to her mouth as she watches him raise his leg, an ugly entry wound clearly visible on his thigh. She cringes as he wraps his wound with an old cleaning cloth. (Keitaro, why ain't ya'll calling fer help? You're hurt bad, you need to go to the hospital!)

As Kitsune stares, frozen in place at the sight of their manager actually hurt, he starts removing the ball of mush and re-cleaning the hot springs as if nothing had happened.

Just like before, she realizes, as if nothing happened. Just like every time he has ever been hit, beaten, punched, or attacked. He just comes right back and keeps doing his job or whatever it was he was doing.

Her observing the manager forgotten, Kitsune rushes over to her closet. She takes out her video camera and removes the tape from it.

She makes her way down to the common room, and places the tape into the video player. Looking around to make sure she is alone, she pulls a chair right up to the TV and sits there for the next fifteen minutes, playing and replaying the tape and the scenes she recorded.

"Damn, Ah just can't see well enough. It's either over too fast, or he's just too far away to tell."

"Whatchya looking at, Kitsunes, a new anime from America? Let me sees, let me sees!" Su jumps over the couch to land like a spider beside Kitsune.

"N-no, Su, it ain't anime. It's just some stuff Ah filmed around here lately. This is the first time Ah've watched it."

"Looks like fun. You filmed all of us playing with Keitaros! Yay! I wanna sees, I wanna sees."

Thinking for a moment, Kitsune asks "Su, there's something I'm trying to find out, but either the scenes are too small, or the action moves to fast for me to tell. Do you know any way to fix that?"

Su thinks for a while, standing on her head. "Hmmm, what in particular is ya trying to see?"

At that moment, Shinobu walks through the common room on the way to prepare breakfast for the residents. "Kitsune-san, you are up early for a Saturday. Is something wrong?"

Kitune's gots a tape of Keitaros playing with us. Ya wanna watch, Shinobus?"

"I'm sorry, I need to get breakfast going. Maybe later, okay?" Shinobu hurries to the kitchen, knowing that any recording of her Sempai probably comes complete with his being tortured by the other residents, and she witnesses enough of that every day, thank you very much.

Answering Su's question before the young cook interrupted her, Kitsune says, "I want to be able to see exactly what happens to him when Keitaro gets hit, or when his body hits something."

After thinking for a few minutes, Su jumps up, clapping her hands loudly "I thinks I gots just the thing. One of my Keitaro trackers should works. Should work, least if it doesn't explode. Kinda hard to tell when ya uses liquid nitro for a lubricant."

Pulling a Keitaro tracker out, Su opens the back for a few minutes and makes some adjustments, then she adjusts the connector on the side of the video player. Flipping a switch on the Keitaro tracker, she then places it next to the player.

"There. Now, anytime Keitaros suddenly starts moving fasters than normal, or slows down the same ways, this modified tracker will forces the image to magnify, clarify, rectify, and slows down so we can sees what's happening. Don't know why I never thoughts of this before. It's a stroke of genuine genius-osity."

Pressing a button on the tracker, and 'Play' on the player, the two sit back, Kitsune giving the tracker a little extra distance as it suddenly starts glowing. However, it works exactly as Su said it would. They clearly see everything Kitsune wanted to see before, but couldn't.

A half-hour later, and after too many trips to the bathroom, Su can only whisper, her normally cheerful voice trembling "I w-wish I had never seen this. I never wanted to s-see anything like this happen with my K-Keitaro-san." Su lifts the modified Keitaro tracker over her head to smash it on the floor, only to be stopped by Kitsune.

Her voice hoarse from vomiting into the waste basket she dragged over from the hallway, Kitsune says, "No, Su, don't. Keep it. And swear you won't tell anybody what we've seen." Thinking for a moment, Kitsune removes the tape and makes a decision. "We're going to need that device of yours once more, I'm afraid. Then, you can destroy it, and I'll gladly help."

The smell of breakfast cooking sends each of them rushing off one last time to the bathroom.