We are sorry. Really, we are. We are awful. It took God knows how long to update, and anyone who is still reading this are so bloody amazing words can't explain it.

We actually an excuse though. You see, we have the Junior Cert this year. This a really boring, pointless, but still pressurising state examination for Irish kids. I, the main writer, lost my inspiration for writing this, much rather imagining killing my teachers.

Slowly.

So, while another update will not be coming at all until July at the earliest, we will be back as soon as we've finished failing our Junior Cert. Joy.

But for now, we offer a not very good, slightly shorter than normal update.

Irish-hailsy : I also have medical excuses. Can't argue with medical excuses. These are boring and mysterious but they involve lots of hospital time and doctor time and needles and all that jazz, so time has been cut short

After the rather eventful English class, they plodded off to Art. Tom was bragging about his "amazing" art skills and how his stick figures looked very realistic. A group of kids behind them were whinging about something or other.

Probably their hair. The one nearest Tom had reason too. Extensions so rarely looked good.

They managed to arrive at the large room cluttered with various bits and bobs. It was permantly in a mess anyways, but at least the previous teacher had attempted to clean it up. Now there were hand prints on the ceiling. Alex stared up at them in wonder. It was an incredibly high vaulted ceiling. Kudos to them for managing to reach it.

Alex decided not to ask, instead choosing to pick a table with Tom and a few others, all squeezed together, dare some of them would have to sit at the table beside theirs. The rest of the rather small class claimed some of the others, laughing and generally making as much noise as they could, just because they were able to.

At the head of the room were two of the SAS men, which Alex recognised as Squirrel and Eagle. Wait, hang on.

"Eagle! I thought you taught Home Ec?"

Squirrel glowered mockingly over at Eagle, "He got thrown out for eating everything the kids made. Made a couple of the firsties cry and all!"

"SCORPIA could have poisoned them when no one was looking," Eagle pouted, looking annoyed at the fact was demoted to art class. You couldn't eat anything in art. Not even the glue, unless you had a digestive system much like Tom's.

"Now, today we are going to just explore our creative side," Squirrel explained, as if it wasn't obvious that was what one tended to do in art class, "by the end of this class I want everyone to have least attempted to make a 3D piece of art. No killing each other, now bugger off."

"And he was doing so well acting as an artist," sighed Tom, shaking his head sadly before immediately perking up, "so, what're you gonna make?"

Alex shrugged, "haven't a slightest, you?"

"Octopus! Octopii are so cool!" Tom grinned, several other people of their group nodding their heads.

'It's octupuses actually,' Alex corrected much to Tom's annoyance.

'Yeah? And where did you stumble across that gem of info?'

'QI.'

Tom didn't reply. He couldn't. No argued with Stephen Fry and his team of elves.

"I wanna make a dragon, or a dinosaur. They're awesome." A girl sighed. Actually, it was scary brown haired girl. Alex swivled round to see if anyone else noticed that she had just appeared out of nowhere. They didn't. He went back to drawing on the desk (trying to find "inspiration" when Squirrel asked what he was doing with a suspicious look on his face).

Tom disappeared, returning with a large block of clay and some wood. And also several craft blades. Because they were cool, according to him.

Alex done the same, minus the craft blade, and began molding it into a 'circle'. If you could even call it a circle. It was more of a squashed-caterpillar shape. It wasn't Alex's fault; he'd been missing when they'd taught shapes.

It also wasn't Alex's fault that the conversation behind him was interesting. And it was also loud, so it wasn't his fault that he was eavesdropping...perhaps it was MI6's fault however.

"Jesus, these SAS guys are so crap. I mean, we have a state examination at the end of this year! You should've heard my mum going on about how we're gonna fail 'cause of them. I've got to get grinds already, just because I don't get as much homework anymore!" A girl hissed angrily.

"Oh come on," Another girl sighed, "they said they would be here two weeks max. If you fail your exams it will be because you can't bloody study properly. It's nice to get a bit of time of relaxation! About the half the year were tearing their hair out 'cause of the teachers rambling on about how the tests are the be all and end all! Jesus!"

"I will not fail because I'm stupid, I'll fail 'cause we couldn't finish the course! I mean, these idiots will probably take months catching who ever they're looking for!"

Alex tuned out then, realising it was a rather boring arguement. He liked the SAS guys here, they were more fun. They made it easier for him to pretend to be normal in a really, really odd way.

As he focused on making his ball perfectly 'spherical' and Tom focused on making his octopus wield a craft blade, he distinctly heard the agruement end with the old classic of "your mum" being whispered. Another argument won then.

"Look, I've already called the Batmobile! You can't have it no matter how many genies you claim, deal with it!" A guy (David was his name. Definitly. He used to cheat off Alex in maths. At least, it was David or Dave. Remembering names, Alex realised, was never his strong point. It was probably a Dave. Everyone knew a Dave and this was the only 'Perhaps-Dave' Alex could currently name).

"Wait, what?" Alex asked as he was pulled out of his intense concentration.

"They," Tom nodded to Dave and Annie (how he remembers her name, Alex will never know), "decided to create a country called Nederlandland, make them have a civil war and then split the universe between them."

"Oh. Okay then." Alex agreed. After all, it was perfectly normal to create an imaginary country and then split the universe between the rulers. Especially at the age of 15.

"So, Alex, whose side are you on?" Annie asked, eager for the answer.

"I'm on hers. She has gravity and zombies." Tom informed.

"Well I have the Daleks and the Gallifrey!" Dave remarked.

"I've got the bloody Time Lords and Gallifreyans! And karma! Oh, I call the Master!" Charlie hopped up and down.

"I've got Death and the Batmobile! And your boyfriend, in case you forgot!" He said smugly.

Annie created a face of utmost horror, "You bast-!" She screamed, but was rudely cut of by Eagle who had decided to hop over to them.

"Watchya talking 'bout then?" He queired, hopeful expression on his face.

"Dave stole my boyfriend. And he wont give me the Batmobile."
"I've also got Hannible Lector." Dave insinuated, grin on his face.

"You tosser!"

While the two of them started screaming what they would do to each other's families, the rest of the group explained what was going on.

"So who gets the Death Star?" He asked

"ME! I DO! I DO!" Charlied roared, jumping up and down with her hand in the air.

"I CALL WEAPONRY." Dave roared back.

"I CALL PORN." Annie announced with a smug grin, arms folded at her awesomeness. All the guys (and a couple girls) announced they were on her side.

Dave glared at her, "well I call prostitutes. We can make our own damn porn."

A few people returned to his side.

"Wait, does that include Amy Pond in Doctor Who?" Insisted Tom.

"Hell yeah, she's a prossie."

Eagle decided to wander off to annoy another group of 'artists' at this point, whistling the Doctor Who theme tune.

"Did anyone watch Doctor Who Saturday?" Some one else piqued up, carefully sculpting what looked like a Dalek.

"God yes, what you think 'bout the power ranger daleks?" Charlie replied, rolling her eyes.

"I thought they looked more like they were gay right supporters, to be honest. Looked like the bloody gay club flag," Dave returned.

"Did you see the third crack at the end though? I wonder what the hell that was all about!" Tom cried.

"Wait, third crack? What were the other two then?"

"Well, there was the first crack in the first episode, then there was Amy's crack."

There was a chorus of laughter and "ewwwwwwwwwwws" in reply.

Alex snorted, still focused on his sphere, now the size of a football and still nowhere near spherical. Thank God the SAS had about a dozen more bags of the clay for the rest of the week.

* * *

By the first bell about half of them had gotten the paints and a hairdryer (that kept giving off sparks) out. No one seemed too arsed about how they turned out (apart from Tom and his rather realistic octopus, if you ignored the evil grin and knife welding part of it).

After a shoddy attempt of drying them so they could be painted on, they all grabbed one of the hardened paint brushes, stiffened from years of neglect after having their heads stuck into PVA glue.

Alex, who was rather proud of his sphere, decided to paint it as the world. Then, when he realised he accidently forgot Africa, decided not to try too hard on it. Then he paint Europe twice the size of America. When questioned by Annie on this small detail, and shape, it was now a concept-piece on the corruption of colonisation dating back to the 1300's.

Squirrel decided to be in art teacher mode again, and wandered round the room, commenting on their 'works of art'. Eagle was too busy trying to sculpt God knows what, but looked like something that should not be in the presence of young girls.

"Tom, that is a very good squid!" He praised. Tom glared back.

"It is an octopus sir. It is a very good octopus."

"Yeah, right. Of course."

He turned round to crazy haired girl.

"That's a great, erm...actually, is that what I think it is?"

"Yes. Yes it is."

In front of her was what could vaguely represent, if you turned your head to the side and squinted, as two men. Wearing hardly any clothes. We say hardly. They were stark naked.

They looked like they were enjoying themselves.

"Should you be making stuff like that at your age?"

"Yes. It's necessary for my emotional maturation."

"Right, okay. Yeah... uh, I'm gonna go now."

He walked away, trying to retain his sanity.

Every one was quiet for a second.

"I call oxygen," claimed Annie.

* * *

By the time Art ended everyone had pretty much given up on their 'works of art', except for Tom and a few art students.

Several people had already asked Alex if they could use his globe as football. Alex decided to keep it safe, only allowing the girls who wanted to pretend to be pregnant play with it after it'll be dry.

And, of course, it was lunch time.

For the English students from earlier, it also meant detention. Joy.

They wandered into the 'Library' (a room with a few shelves of books and commonly used as a spare class room for various reasons. The books were, strangely, in languages that Alex doesn't think were ever taught. Since when had Welsh been on the agenda for a London school? )

Fox and Snake were sitting at back already, strangely close, grumbling about how unfair it all was.

Everyone settled down, all attempting to grab a chair and a table, which was a rare finding the Library. For some unknown reason, the desks were always piled at the front and the seats the back.

It took about fifteen minutes before the men in charge remembered they were meant to man the detention at lunch time, and thus promptly arrived.

Sadly, it was Boar and Octopus.

"'It's about time you bloody came!" Snake growled, leaning back in the chair and dying for a smoke of nicotine goodness.

"Well at least I won't get detention for it!" Boar chortled. His smile would have made children cry, and has made most of the firsties whimper. Not that the latter was hard to do, Alex had heard a rumour that one girl burst into spontaneous tears after walking into an older student. That said the said older student had yelled, without any obvious reason 'FIRE UP THE QUATTRO' to his mate.

Snake responded with a rather rude hand gesture, which Boar (fortunately) didn't see.

"OCTOPUS!" Tom cried, "I MADE YOU IN ART. IT'S REALLY, REALLY COOL, LOOKS LIKE YOU AND ALL!"

Everyone laughed, even though only about five of them got it, but everyone knows the age-old rule that 'If you don't get the joke, laugh regardless and pray to God no one realises'.

Octopus raised an eyebrow, "right, of course you did. Now, shut up."

Tom pouted.

They all just sat there, talking quietly and having fun chucking balls of paper at them when they weren't looking.

It was made more difficult when crazy haired girl threw a small paperback Spanish dictionary at Boar. He may not be the sharpest pencil in the box, but realised that when he's assaulted by a dictionary that something was up.

Luckily, for Octopus, everyone was focused on Boar.

"Oi, Snake!" Octopus yelled, "put that phone away!"

Snake glared, "I'm not a bloody student, so piss off."

Fox just rolled his eyes and went back to reading his book.

It looked suspiciously like 'New Moon'.

"Yeah, well I'm stronger than you, so put it away!"
"Oh yeah? Come and get it then! We'll see who's stronger!"

Just as Octopus started to march over, a girl cried.

"You can't! You can't do that!"

"Yeah!" Another supplied, " You might end up killing Snake and then Fox will fall into a pit of despair and hatred before eventually killing himself. You'll burn in a very special place in hell. "

Alex knew without even turning around it was the Crazy Girl that had been appearing out of nowhere for God knows how long now.

Fox choked on air, "wait, you think we're a couple?"
"Oh come on," she rolled her eyes, "everyone knows you guys so have the hots for each other. I mean, what were you guys doing in the cupboard?"

Snake went beetroot red while Fox hastily explained, "we were trying to get out without anyone getting hurt! Seriously!"

He looked to Octopus for help, Boar being busy reading a magazine that really didn't look suitable for kids.

Octopus just laughed, and left the room.

After about five minutes of Fox and Snake insisting they were straight, the bell went.

So, does anyone like the pairing Snake/Fox? It will be in the story anyways, because we love them ( ^__^ ), but I was wondering if anyone else did.

Irish-Hailsy – If you are upset with the quality of this story, rest assured, so am I. But you can't hit a crip so go yell at OddlySane for it :D It is incredibly short, yes we know, but quite frankly this has been squished in in the space of about 1 night.