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Frogs Part 2: "Just…don't use the downstairs bathroom right now."
A/N: Well, here is part 2! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you all ROCK! And I found out I can review my own story! Cool! Anyway. Oh, and that way you don't have to look up the line in MR4 like one of my reviewers, here it is : Jeb had made that exact face the day he found the frogs in the toilet. On page 21, in the hardcover if you don't believe me.
"FROGS?!" I repeated, my voice rising an octave. Nudge grabbed my elbow.
"Shh!" she pleaded. That in itself was ironic. Usually, I was the one telling HER to be quiet.
"My frogs," Angel said timidly.
I took a deep breath. Seeing frogs in your house, in a pot that you use, in your kitchen was a bit…shocking. "Sweetie?" I said, sitting down, and pulling Angel into my lap.
"Mm-hmm?"
"What were you planning to…do with your…frogs?" I asked carefully.
"Pets," she said confidently. "Jumpy, Spot and Hopper."
"You named them?" I asked in disbelief.
"Uh-huh."
"Well, the thing is…" I paused, trying to figure out how to phrase this. "The thing is, Angel, I don't know how we would feed them."
"Buggies," Angel said easily. "Flies. Skeet-oes. Drag-on flies. Buggies."
I tried again. "Where would we keep them? They need the pond."
"Tank."
I decided to stop beating around the bush. "Angel, frogs aren't happy in cages. Nobody likes cages. Right?"
Angel thought on this for a moment, then her brow cleared. "Read their minds," she told me.
I sighed. "Do we really need frogs?"
Angel's expression rapidly changed from carefree to horribly tragic. Her lip trembled and her eyes filled with tears. Everyone in the flock winced. We all hated to see her like that.
"Heaven help me," I muttered.
"Max, they're only frogs," Nudge pointed out hesitantly.
"They wouldn't be too much trouble," Gazzy added.
Angel just looked at me with those big, pleading, begging…oh Lord…
I turned to Fang. Please, please, back me up, listen to logic….
"I think we can keep them, Max," Fang said quietly.
Thank you very much, Fang. Thanks. A. Lot.
I dropped my head into my hands. Iggy chuckled. Now I had no choice.
"Thankyouthankyouthankyou—"
"I didn't say yes yet!" I cried, exasperated. Angel just smiled.
"Thank you, Max!"
"Hold on," I said, holding up a hand for emphasis. "One, YOU have to take care of them, got it? No bribing Gazzy. Two, the MINUTE one of those frogs thinks something unhappy, the second they are sad, we're taking them back to the pond, capiche? Don't you dare NOT tell me. Three, don't tell Jeb, because I don't think he'll be too happy. Four, if you can't take care of them, I will take them to the pond myself. Okay?"
"Okay." I could tell half my words went in one ear and out the other.
"Great," I said glumly. "Now go find a tank."
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I was sitting on one of the MANY pine trees in the area of our house. Seriously, we have unbelievable amounts of pine trees in the Colorado mountains. (A/N I dunno if this is true, if anyone lives in the Colorado mountains, drop me a line.)
Anyway, this particular pine tree over looked the canyon under our house, but a little further east. It was really close to the canyon, so if I looked straight ahead, it seemed like the earth dropped away.
I sat still, leaning against the bark, feeling the tree sway with the wind. It was just so peaceful. I sighed softly and closed my eyes.
"Max…"
Heaven forbid that peace would last.
"What?" I snapped, turning around. No one was there. Great… I launched off the tree and flew a couple feet away, trying to see where the idiotic voice was. Left… no one there…right…nope, no one there either…What. The. Heck.
"Look up."
So I looked up. And who was it? Fang, of course.
"That was funny," he said.
I bit back my colorfully worded reply and swooped back to the tree. "What do you want?"
He didn't reply right away. He sat himself on his own little branch and adjusted himself before he replied.
"You seem a little worried."
How lovely. "Do I?"
My sarcasm went unappreciated. "Yeah, you do."
"Well, Dr. Phil, maybe you can tell me why I'm stressed?"
"You tell me, Max." Fang shifted and looked at me. I'd never noticed how unsettling his eyes were. I looked away. Sarcasm wasn't going to get me out of this. Fang knew me too well, dang it.
"I'm worried about the frogs," I lied. If sarcasm was screwed, I could always lie.
"Lying, Max," Fang said calmly. Screw him. "I know what you're worried about, so don't bother."
"Really? Well, by all means, enlighten me!"
"Jeb."
"Jeb?"
"Jeb. You won't tell him about the frogs. You don't quite trust him."
Jeb. "I'm worried about Jeb? Now that you mention it…" I frowned. He was good. Was he like, a physic? I didn't know I was worried about Jeb, but now that he brought it up, I realized I had been worried about him all along. Creepy. "Now that you mention it, has he been a bit strange lately?"
Fang nodded. "You'd have to be blind not to have noticed." He paused. "Scratch that, Iggy's noticed it too. Nudge and Gazzy are starting to feel something is off, and Angel is having some trouble reading his mind."
"How do you know that?"
He smiled quickly. "I watch, Max," he said sagely.
I raised my eyebrows. "He's been typing and talking on the phone for ages," I said slowly. "And I thought only teenage girls did that."
Fang nodded. "I think something's going to happen. Something big."
We sat quietly, mulling this over.
"Well," I said, breaking the silence and straightening my wings. "I'm starving. Did Iggy cook?"
Fang hesitated. "No. Jeb cooked. He cooked spaghetti."
"Grea—" I began, then froze, my brain working slowly. I turned back to Fang. "But if Jeb is using the spaghetti pot," I whispered, eyes wide, "Where are the frogs?"
Fang looked at me apologetically. "Just…don't use the downstairs bathroom right now."
It took a few moments for the proper neurons to connect. Downstairs bathroom: has a leaky shower, not a tub. Sink drain is messed up. That left—"You put the frogs in the toilet?"
Fang just looked at me helplessly. "It was Angel's idea."
I stared at him. "Angel put the frogs in the toilet."
He nodded weakly.
"But the frogs can't live in the toilet!" I cried. "We need to take them back to the pond ASAP. They haven't even been here a day, and—"
"Hold up," Fang said. "Jeb's being a helicopter parent again. He won't let us out of his sight, that's why he sent me to get you, he's probably freaking right now."
I groaned and smacked my forehead. "We need to get back. Right. Now. The toilet!"
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Flashback:
"Guys, I'm going to cook spaghetti," Jeb called. "Where's the pot?"
Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy and Angel looked at each other.
"Crap." Iggy muttered. "Angel, grab the frogs and put them somewhere."
"Where?"
"I don't care, anywhere! Gazzy, you and Fang go delay Jeb—"
"What am I s'posed to say?"
"I don't care! Tell him you peed in your pants or something—"
"Hey!"
"Make something up! Nudge, get some paper towels and clean up this pond crud. I'll get the pot."
"Why do I have to clean this up, it was you and Fang who got it all over the kitchen floor anyways—"
"I don't—!"
"Care! You don't care, I got that! Can't you at least help?"
Iggy grabbed the pot and dumped it into the sink. "I'll help you as soon as I clean this," he said irritably.
"Forget the pot!" Nudge hissed. "What's Jeb gonna think if he sees the pond sludge all over the floor?"
"Okay, fine!"
They could hear the Gasman inventing an excuse from the kitchen. "I peed in my pants!" he exclaimed.
Silence. "No, you didn't, Gazzy."
"He did, Jeb."
"He's five, and his pants are perfectly dry."
"No, they aren't!"
"Yes, they are."
"It, uh, dried?" Fang was clearly struggling.
Iggy rolled his eyes. "Hurry up," he told Nudge. She huffed.
"I'm done."
"That's great. Now go!" Iggy grabbed her arm and tugged her after him. She squeaked, and grabbed the Gasman as they passed him.
"We're playing Monopoly!" she yelled to nobody in particular, and the four of them tore down the stairs into the ground floor.
They all forgot the pot.
They found Angel in the bathroom. She was putting the last frog into the…toilet.
Nudge stood there, mouth open. Gazzy just pointed at the toilet. Fang was, as usual, silent.
Iggy could tell everyone was staring at something, but he didn't for the life of him know what.
"Somebody please tell me what's going on, or so help me, I am gonna—"
"Angel put frogs in the toilet," Nudge said in disbelief.
Just then, Jeb yelled. "FANG! GO GET MAX! NOW!"
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Jeb was, as predicted, freaking. He was standing outside peering around anxiously. "Max!" he said as we arrived. "Oh, thank G—where are you going?"
"Bathroom," I called over my shoulder. Fang followed me.
"Fang, where are you going?"
"Uh…"
I glared at him.
"Getting a…"
"Book!" I hissed.
"A book…for…um…Angel," Fang improvised wildly.
Jeb frowned a little, then shrugged. As he turned around to go back to the kitchen, I heard him muttering, and I only caught one word: Erasers.
I spun around to face Fang. One glance at his face told me he'd heard it too. I opened my mouth, but Fang shook his head. Ignore it. Frogs. In the toilet. Okay. Bigger fish to fry, Max.
I burst into the bathroom, where Nudge, Angel and Gazzy were all crouched around the toilet. "Angel," I said slowly. "Why did you put the frogs in the toilet?"
She shrugged. "Why not?"
I sighed. "Honey, what are we going to tell Jeb?"
"Out of order?"
"He'll want to know why," I said patiently.
Nudge looked at me. "We can't take it back to the pond, Max, Jeb won't let us."
Everyone looked at me, 'cause I guess I was the leader. Grr.
"Let's eat," I sighed. "Brainstorm afterwards."
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Dinner was horrible. No one ate anything except Jeb. Nudge looked like she might throw up every time she saw him chewing spaghetti. Iggy had told us that he definitely not washed the pot, thanks to Nudge. Angel got away with eating toast, because she told Jeb she was a "vegitaran" and couldn't eat the meatballs and Jeb bought it as one of her phases. But me, Fang, Iggy were left staring at the spaghetti.
"Aren't you hungry?" Jeb asked for the hundredth millionth time.
"No," I sighed, staring at my plate longingly.
"No," Fang said.
"Definitely not," Iggy muttered, fidgeting with his fork. Nudge just sort of groaned.
Gazzy was humming quietly. "We all know frogs go pop in the microwave, pop in the microwave, pop in the microwave, pop in the microwave, we all know frogs go pop in the microwave, they don't go mm-ah-AH!" (A/N This is a slightly modified version of a song at a camp I volunteer at.)
Oh, no.
Angel screamed, "NO MICROWAVE POP FROGGIES!" and stood up on her chair, knocking down her milk in the process. I kicked the Gasman, and I had a feeling that Fang and Iggy did too, because he winced and yelled "Stop KICKING me!" Poor Nudge just looked nauseous.
It would have been funny, except that Nudge threw up.
And guess who had to clean it up?
Ew.
Then Angel insisted that I come and check the frogs with her, and everyone followed.
"Good," Angel said, satisfied. "No pop microwave froggies." She glared at her brother.
"Okay. We'll just leave them here overnight, and first thing tomorrow we're taking them back to the pond. Sorry, Angel. We haven't got anywhere to put them." I turned around and almost walked into Jeb. "Uhhhh…."
"What's going on?" Jeb asked, going full on parent-on-the-warpath mode.
"Uhh…" I repeated intelligently. Jeb sighed and walked around me, and looked down at the toilet. Then back at me. Then at the toilet. It was pretty funny, actually. He had this what-the-heck expression on his face and his mouth was open a bit. I wished I had a camera.
"Whose idea was this?" Jeb asked after he'd gotten over the first shock. We all pointed at Angel, including Iggy, which was kinda creepy. "Angel?"
It took about five minutes to explain the story. When we were done, it looked like Jeb was having a very hard time not laughing.
"Well," Jeb said, then looked down, trying not to smile. "Well, Angel, we're going to have to return the frogs, okay? But they can stay for a couple more days, all right? Then they have to go back."
Angel pouted, then brightened. "Frogs are having a sleepover!"
Jeb didn't try to hide his smile. "Yes, the frogs are having a sleepover."
"Then they can come back!"
I bit my tongue. "Maybe."
"We're gonna watch movies and play dress up!" Angel said excitedly.
And then we all burst out laughing. At that moment, Fang and I caught each others' gaze. My look said Forget about the Erasers and Jeb. I'm not quite sure what was in his look.
I think I might know now…that was the exact look he had when he kissed me in the cave…
He had been FLIRTING WITH ME. My mouth never fails to drop open when I think back to that day.
But I can't help but laugh when I think about the frogs in the toilet.
A/N: When in doubt, end with Fax. :) I dunno…was it horrible? Okay? Ridiculous? Review peoples, and if you sign in or leave your email in the little box thing I will give you a tiny preview of a new fanfic I'm thinking about…Jeans, when Iggy blows up Max's pants. If anyone out there can tell me what book it's mentioned in and/or what page it's on, it would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!