When Gosho Aoyama permitted Gin to clobber Shinichi on the back and poison him with APTX 4869, he had intended for him to shrink into Edogawa Conan. He certainly hadn't expected him to metamorphose into a frog. Yes, a F-R-O-G. Nor had he expected Japan to divide into three kingdoms – the kingdom of Innocence, the kingdom of Iciness and the kingdom of I-do-karate.
"Hey!" Shinichi croaked.
"Aaaahhhhh! I'm so, very, sorry! It wasn't suppose to go like this!" Aoyama exclaimed.
"Well, it (croak) did. You had better (croak) find a way (croak) out of this because I (croak) hold you personally responsible (croak) for my predicament!" Shinichi protested.
"WAIT! This reminds me of something! Just a sec!" he cried and leaped from his chair towards a nearby bookshelf.
"Ok. Not going anywhere..." Shinichi replied absent-mindedly, his attention diverted by a flying mosquito...
Slurp! went Shinichi when Aoyama turned around.
"Did you just... Nevermind, I don't think I want to know. Now listen to this. According to this fairytale story, if you want to turn back, you have to get a princess to kiss you."
"I... what?" Shinichi croaked indignantly.
"You heard me. You have to get a princess to kiss you. From the looks of Japan's current geography, you have to get either Princess of Innocence, Princess of Iciness or Princess of I-do-karate to kiss you."
"That that that..." sputtered Shinichi, his long sticky tongue clicking.
Aoyama threw his hands up into the air helplessly. "I'm afraid it's your only solution. Now on your way!"
Shinichi meant to sigh, instead he croaked.
"You're ssooo getting it when I come back!"
--
After a lengthy and perilous journey, Shinichi finally trudged up to the kingdom of Innocence. His wide jaw dropped open comically. The whole kingdom was, to put it simply, sweet. Completely sweet. The ground consisted of honey-filled pancakes as stepping stones, striped candy rods as grass and -- the so-called palace was a magnificent gingerbread house! The windows were crafted out of opaque sugar, the walls consisted of confectionery stacked on top of each other, the roof tiles were jam-coated pieces of bread and the fences were ribboned lollipops. Even the air was permeated with sweetness. Shinichi gagged.
A little girl with a sugar tiara on her dark locks flounced in and set her eyes on Shinichi.
"Awwww... Look at that frog, Billy!" Princess Yoshida Ayumi cooed to a striped ginger cat on her right shoulder. She pranced towards Shinichi, her red lacy dress flowing behind her and several kittens trailing around her ankles.
She picked Shinichi up as he squawked in protest.
"You're so cute, aren't you, aren't you?" Princess Ayumi gushed, making faces at Shinichi as he blinked up towards her. Indeed, froggy Shinichi was adorable, with his enormous blue eyes on top of his smooth pale green amphibian body, a football pattern stamped on his back. His skin weren't warty and slimy like other frogs, and his eyes weren't protruding and yellowish. He was, for lack of better word, absolutely lovable!
Shinichi croaked in consternation as Princess Ayumi puckered her lips and started approaching him dangerously. If it were possible for frogs to sweat, he would have been. He gave a loud yelp and dove frantically away from her palm. In one nanosecond, he was already out of sight, leaving a wake of dust and smoke behind him.
"Hey, come back, cutie! Come back!" Princess Ayumi screamed after him.
Shinichi only dared stop after he was entirely sure she had no chance of catching up. He sat down on his froggy butt and panted, croaking repeatedly.
"Phew! I'm never going back again, even if I stay a frog!" he declared.
A sudden cold gust of wind smacked him in the face. He looked up. The kingdom of Iciness was right in front of him.
It unquestionably lived up to its name. The place where Shinichi was was sunny, bright and warm but just over the border, it was freezing. No kidding. Snow fell incessantly, the only distinguishable plants shrivelled up and bent with no leaves whatsoever. Everything was covered in sheer whiteness.
Shinichi jumped closer to get a better look. Amongst the snowstorm he spotted a palace – if it could be called a palace. It was a gargantuan three-storey igloo, which reminded Shinichi amazingly of a three-layered ice-cream piled on top of each other.
"I think I know who stays here," Shinichi said sarcastically and half-closed his large eyes into an exasperated expression. Sure enough, the Princess of Iciness appeared. It was none other than Princess Miyano Shiho. She was holding a test-tube and a beaker. How the chemicals in them remained liquid at THAT temperature he was not sure.
"Who dares intrude my territory?" she demanded majestically. Every syllable she uttered sent an arctic wind to Shinichi. Goosebumps began appearing on his now snow-flecked skin.
"Ah, it's you," she sneered when she spotted Shinichi. "Let me guess. You consumed the experimental drug I created and it accidentally transmuted you into a frog. Now you're searching for a princess who is willing to kiss you and change you back. Well guess what? It's not. Gonna. Be. Me."
Shinichi stuck out his long LONG tongue. "I won't want to kiss you too!" he retorted back. And in a huff, he hopped on his shivery webbed legs away from the North-Pole-look-alike.
Shinichi was ready to give up hope on ever regaining his homosapien body. There was only one last kingdom left, with it one last princess. There was practically zero chance that this princess would kiss him. Even the name sounded uninviting. Kingdom of I-do-Karate, what on earth? But he leapt on wearily anyway, having nothing else better to do. What do frogs do on their leisurely time anyway?
And at last he arrived. To his surprise, it was a rather normal-looking kingdom, with chirpy birds and flowering flora rambling on the grounds. A grandiose castle stood magnificently among the lively atmosphere. It was exactly the kind of kingdom you would picture in a classic fairytale. In fact, it would have seemed completely typical save for the fruits on the trees. Shinichi croaked in amazement. His grinning face was hanging on every tree like fruits. His humanly face, by the way.
A humming voice filled the air, followed by Princess Mouri Ran, the only daughter of Queen Eri Kisaki, clad in her usual blazers and mini-skirt uniform. She danced and twirled around with a golden trophy gleaming in her hands. Evidently a trophy she won at a karate championship. Suddenly, she stumbled, and the pure-gold trophy went flying from her hands into a bottomless lake!
"Hey, I think (croak) according to the (croak) fairytale I'm (croak) supposed to save the trophy!" Shinichi thought out loud. Without another word, he bounded into the lake, his webbed feet coming into use right now.
And before long, he resurfaced, the polished trophy held triumphantly in his, errr, foot. Princess Ran was all smiles.
"Thank you!" she said gratefully and bowed down to Shinichi to retrieve the trophy. Just then, Shinichi caught sight of Princess Ran's extremely hot pink panties!
Wow! With this kind of view every day, I don't think I want to switch back to Shinichi anymore! And he decided never to try and obtain a princess' kiss anymore.
But as luck would have it, King Mouri Kogoro came staggering into the garden, a bottle of beer in one hand, a photograph of Okino Yoko in another.
"Y-yoko-ch-chan…" he slurred dreamily. In his drunken and preoccupied stupor, he didn't note little Shinichi on the ground and kicked him, sending him flying towards -- Princess Ran's lips!
Boom! At the slightest touch of her lips, he instantly transformed back!
"Shinichi!" exclaimed Princess Ran, taken aback.
"Man! I wanted to stay a frog!" he grumbled irritatedly.
"And may I ask why is that?" she inquired suspiciously. The sky darkened ominously behind her and an eerie wind galled up in the garden, leaves blowing everywhere.
But Shinichi just couldn't stop his mouth. Being a frog must have affected his brain somehow.
"So I can see your panties every day," he replied innocently. Now black clouds shrouded the sky, streaks of lightning briefly illuminating the place and bestowing the castle a haunted look.
"Uh oh," Shinichi said at the sight of Princess Ran's very red and VERY irked face. "Um, it's nice seeing you but I have to leave now."
He slunk away rapidly, sensing an explosion coming.
And it did.
"SHINICHI!!"
--
I know, I know, you're thinking
………
What the heck?
But every girl is entitled to occasional bouts of insanity, right?
…right?...
Silence.
-.-