This is the Shirosaki/Ichigo collection for those who answered the question correctly in Never Fade Away, my Kenpachi/Ichigo story

This is the Shirosaki/Ichigo collection for those who answered the question correctly in Never Fade Away, my Kenpachi/Ichigo story. It is a collection of three shots with varying themes and warnings, all with lemons of course! You have been warned. Also note, Ichigo will always be uke and Shirosaki seme in the three shots.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of it's characters.

First three shot is for Renji-kun who wanted some humor.

Summary: AU Ichigo is irritated with his father being an idiot all of the time. So he goes to a support group for crazy guardians where he meets Shirosaki. There will be a lemon. Just because I love writing smut.

Crazy Guardians: Part 1/3

"ICHIGO!" Issin yelled the name like a war cry as he came at Ichigo with a flying kick.

Ichigo dodged the kick and grabbed his father's leg, using it as leverage to throw his father against the wall. Before his father could recover, Ichigo swiftly kicked him in the gut. "What the fuck!?" He kicked him in the gut again. "Can't I go to school without you bloody attacking me?"

"Nice…kick…son…" Issin wheezed out and clutched his stomach before crumpling into a ball.

"Crazy bastard…" Ichigo mumbled, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

He grumbled the entire walk to school, nothing like being attacked by your dad first thing in the morning to put you in a sour mood. His friends immediately picked up on it and asked what happened.

"Just my dad being a jerk again. What kind of dad springs attacks on his own son?" Ichigo grumbled.

"What you need," Orhime said in her cheerful, matter of fact voice, "Is a group to go to that has similar problems!"

"Eh?" Ichigo said and furrowed his eyebrows. "That seems silly. Do they really have groups for that?"

"Yeah." Tatsuki said. "That actually do. You should check the message board to see if there is one in town."

Ichigo snorted. "Right, but how's that going to help me any. Sitting in a group talking 'bout it isn't going to get him to stop."

"Who knows." Tatsuki said, shrugging. "Maybe they have solutions to your problem."

"You think many other kids have parents who like to test them with surprise attacks?"

"Whatever. Check it out or don't." Tatsuki said and turned to back to Orhime.

"What do you think, Chado?" Ichigo asked.

"Hm."

"Yeah, I know. I'm going to be old enough to move out soon. But I still have to deal with it until than."

"Hm?"

"Well, I love my family. But I'd like to be independent."

"…"

"You know, I don't even like eating lunch with other people. Why would I choose to hang out with a bunch of people I don't know, talking about their problems?"

"Hm."

"I can always count on you, Chado."

Ichigo did end up at the message board. There were a million notices up there that seemed to loom accusingly at him, but Ichigo was only looking for one.

'Like tennis?' No, not that.

'Have you always wanted to learn how to knit?' ugh, no.

'Do you feel like your parents are from another planet? Do they sometimes just drive you nuts? Come to our support group!" Ah, that would be it. It would make sense his dad was some sort of alien. What would it hurt to go once?

Thursday night, Ichigo arrived outside the building feeling apprehensive. What if it was just a bunch of freaks? But Ichigo wasn't one to back down because of those sorts of feelings, so he went inside and searched for the meeting room.

Outside the room there was sign up sheet for new members that Ichigo hastily scrawled his name onto. The room was more of a lecture type room that a smaller classroom, for which Ichigo was grateful. He had horror filled thoughts about being forced to sit in a circle where everybody hugged and then sang Kum-bay-ah while holding hands. That would be worse than the super-Issin punches he dealt with.

Ichigo settled himself into one of the seats in the back, and took this opportunity to study the people there. Mostly it was kids his age, punks, preps, jocks, Goths, people from all crowds. Ichigo sighed and leaned back in his seat, lacing his hands behind his head.

Shirosaki grudgingly went to another one of those 'my parents are freaks' meetings. He didn't always go, but he didn't want to go home where Zangetsu was being weird again. Besides, hearing what freaks other people's parents were made him happy. He expected it to be just another meeting, same freak's children that are probably going to turn out just as freaky as the humans that spawned them.

But then he saw him. An orange haired teen that was sprawled out in the back with his eyes half shut and a scowl on his face. How positively beautiful he was in his snug jeans and black shirt that showed off that strong body so nicely. Shirosaki grinned. The kid probably didn't know how appetizing he looked with his long limbs open and inviting.

"New kid, eh?" Shirosaki drawled and plopped in the seat right beside him. The orange haired teen whipped his head towards him in surprise and Shirosaki got a nice look at those brown eyes that instantly drew him in.

"Er, yeah." Ichigo didn't quite know what to say. This guy just started talking to him out of nowhere. He was tall with white skin, white hair and the pair of strangest eyes Ichigo has ever seen. They were black where there should be white with golden pools that flickered with amusement. He was dressed in a baggy red t shirt and dark jeans with a spiked wrist band and a chain around his neck.

"Thought so." The man said and held out a hand. "M'name's Shirosaki, call me Shiro. You?"

"Oh, eh, Ichigo." Ichigo said and shook his hand. It felt like a jolt went through him as their hands touched. He could feel the strength in Shiro's grip as they shook, and it intrigued Ichigo.

Shirosaki may have allowed his hand to linger a little longer than necessary, but it was the kids fault for being so darn adorable. "So why are you here?" Shirosaki asked bluntly.

"Crazy dad." Ichigo said simply, not really delving into details.

"Yeah, kind of figured. How is he crazy, though?" No duh, but nobody is crazier than his dad.

"He likes to spring attacks on me for no reason, when I'm sleeping or eating or walking in the door. He says he's 'testing me' to make sure I can make it in life. This morning he came at me with his "Wonderful Bitter Crying" attack." Shirosaki snorted.

"Weird fucker. My dad likes to challenge me with sword fights all the time. Says only when I win will he let me out of the house on my own. He does this think where he stands on a stick while meditating. Drives me batty." Ichigo snorted.

"So you fence?" Ichigo asked, his interest peaked despite himself.

"Eh? Well not really fencing, that's with those itty bitty thin swords. This is with samurai swords, I've got my fair share of broken bones and scars from it."

"Jeez." Ichigo said. "I've never done anything like that, I do some martial arts, but nothing that crazy."

"Yeah?" Shirosaki said, "You any good?"

"Yeah." Ooh, that's nice. Shirosaki likes it when they are confident, none of that weakling pansy ass stuff.

"So, Ichigo." Shirosaki drawled, scooting closer to Ichigo who was now watching him warily. "Want to get something to eat after this?"

Ichigo didn't quite get what Shirosaki's intentions were, but if it got him out of going home sooner, why the fuck not. "Er, sure."

Shirosaki jumped for joy inside of his head. Yay! A date with the sexy, cute, orange haired boy! Well, said boy didn't know it was a date, but that didn't matter!

LINE

Eh, didn't know where to stop this exactly, but oh well. Thought I'd tell some of the readers who haven't read my stuff before some things. 1- I will ALWAYS finish stories, even if I lose inspiration I WILL finish. 2- All my stories have SMUT, so if you are underage, than don't read my stories. 3- If you want me to write faster, you have to review, they inspire me.

If you guys like reading a lot of smut, you should check out my KenpachixIchigo three shot yaoi collection.

I love you guys, thanks for reading!