Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original ideas expressed in this fic in between songs and what have you. Thanks so much for reading, I hope you have as good a time reading as I did writing. Please write me some reviews, and requests are always welcome!
Sry bout the spacing, I couldn't get it to go right. Let me know if this is impossible to follow, grumpy look
The Insanity Begins
Hi, I'm the evil and demented C.Queen. I rule over my little Anime universe with an iron fist and have devoted myself to the mistreatment and torture of a wide varity of characters in an ever widening amount of anime series'. I am also a Disney kid, and can still, at the age of twenty three, sing along with most of the songs without even needing to hear the music to get going. I know, I'm very sad. The following little fun resulted from a sugar high compounded by sleep deprevation. Neither is a good thing when the person experiencing these smytoms simutaniously is me. So anyway, without further ado, I give you the latest evil I will visit upon my current series of choice, BLEACH.
A darkened room appears than lights, revealing the entire cast of BLEACH strapped into chairs reminicent of the electric chairs you see in old movies before soem criminal gets fried. The general atmosphere is simmering hatred, and it's about to get so much worse.
C.Queen: Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time in Soul Society's long history, I give you a musicale to end all musicales as these fine people in the audience are forced, by me, to preform Disney for you.
Zaraki: What the hell is friggin Disney?
Nemu: Actually, Captain Zaraki, it's a who in this case. His name was Walt Disney and he was the creator of some of the greatest works of animation during the mid to late 20th century. He-
Hitsugaya: We get the picture.
Matsumoto: Well this could be fun.
everyone gives her dark, disbelieving looks
Nanao: Are you forgetting the insanity that is this woman? Have you forgotten all she's done to us in the last two years!
Matsumoto: You're just mad that she made you shit faced in that one fanfiction.
Nanao: And you just like her because she's the only other woman out there dumb enough to think that Gin's hot.
C.Queen: You know I heard that.
Kyoraku: Uh oh, Nanao chan.
Nanao: Shut up. And before you do something to me, remember how mad you are at Aizen right now.
C.Queen: Hmmm...that's a good point...I'll spare you for now, since Kyoraku will torture you for me without even trying to. All right you bad, bad boys. You're first up! tries to snap fingers and fails horribly damn, why can I never do that? Oh well-
shrugs and does the 'I Dream of Genie' head bong.
Aizen, Gin, and Ten appear onstage. Aizen is wearing what looks like ridiculous lion pyjamas complete with a hood with ears and a black mane. Adorable black whiskers and a fake looking scar over one eye completed the look. Gin and Ten, well their kiddie pyjamas were grey with black yarn sticking up like a Mohawk starting from the top of their heads and working its way down their backs. No one quite knew what they were supposed to be. All around the three on the stage was rock and bright flashes of flame.
Ichigo: What the hell are they supposed to be? The other two I mean.
Nemu: They're supposed to be hyenas. She's recreating a scene from the Lion King.
C.Queen: And with that introduction, take it away, Aizen!
Aizen: I know that your powers of retention
Are as wet as Omeada's backside
But thick as you are, pay attention
My words are a matter of pride
It's clear from your vacant expressions
The lights are not all on upstairs
But we're talking souls and successions
Even you can't be caught unawares
So prepare for a chance of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news
A shining new era
Is tiptoeing nearer
Gin: And where do we feature?
Aizen: Just listen to teacher
I know it sounds sordid
But you'll be rewarded
When at last I am given my dues!
And injustice deliciously squared
Be prepared!
Tosen: Be prepared for what?
Aizen: For the death of Rukia Kuchiki!
Tosen: Why? Is she sick?
Aizen: No, you fool, we're going to kill her... and the General too!
Gin: Great idea! Who needs a boss?
Gin and Tosen: No boss, No boss, nah nah nah nah nah nah!
Aizen: Idiots! There will BE a boss!
Tosen: But you just said...
Aizen: I will be boss!
Stick with me, and you'll never see Omaeda again!
Gin and Tosen : YEA!! Long live the boss!
It's great that we'll soon be connected
With a boss who'll be all-time adored
Aizen: Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected
To take certain duties on board
The future is littered with prizes
And though I'm the main addressee
The point that I must emphasize is
YOU WONT GET A SNIFF WITHOUT ME!
So prepare for the coup of the century
Be prepared for the murkiest scum
(Ooooh!)
Meticulous planning
(We'll have food!)
Tenacity spanning
(Lots of food)
Decades of denial
(We repeat)
Is simply why I'll
(Endless meat)
Be boss undisputed
(Aaaaaaaaaah!)
respected, saluted
(Aaaaaaaaaah!)
And seen for the wonder I am
(Aaaaaaaaaah!)
Yes my plan and ambitions are bared
Be prepared!
Gin and Tosen: Yes, our plans and ambitions are bared
Be prepared!
dead silence
Kyoraku: OH MAKE THEM DO IT AGAIN!
Zaraki: Now that's what I call entertainment.
Yachiru: I take back all the mean things I ever said about C.Queen and the crappy way she treats me. mutters under breath Letting Kuchiki treat me like that...letting him...
C.Queen: Quit mumbling, shortie. I HAVEN'T forgotten all the names you've been calling me lately. In fact, your whole division has been displeasing me lately.
Zaraki: Oh hell no.
another head bong and Aizen, Gin and Tosen leave the stage to return to their restricting chairs, obviously bewildered as to what had just happened and embarrassed as hell.
Tosen: I'm so glad I'm blind right now.
Gin: Awwww..you looked pretty cute up there, Ten. Very plushie.
Tosen: I don't even want to know what that means.
Aizen: We are assassinating that woman first chance we get.
Gin: You've been saying that for a while now, and look who keeps getting his ass kicked?
Aizen: Shut up, Ichimaru.
C.Queen: And now, for the next victims of my insanity!
head bong again ouch, that hurts the neck
the third and fifth seat from the eleventh division appear onstage, both dressed in plushie costumes that make them look like two Dalmatian puppies.
Ukitake: They look so cute!
Hitsugaya: You are so weird.
C.Queen: And here we are, onto our next act!
Yumichika: Yachiru De Vil
Yachiru De Vil
If she doesn't scare you
No evil thing will
To see her is to
Take a sudden chill
Yachiru, Yachiru De Vil
Ikkaku: The curl of her lips
The evil in her stare
All innocent children
Had better beware
She's like a spider waiting
For the kill
Look out for Yachiru De Vil
Yumichika: At first you think
Yachiru is the devil
But after time has worn
Away the shock
You come to realize
You've seen her kind of eyes
Watching you from underneath
A rock!
Together: This vampire bat
This inhuman beast
She ought to be locked up
And never released
The world was such
A wholesome place until
Yachiru, Yachiru De Vil
bong and they're back in they're back in their seats
Yumichika: We are dead.
Ikkaku: So totally dead.
Yumichika: We're beyond dead. My beautiful face!
Ikkaku: Neither of us are going to have a face as soon as she's out of the restraints.
Yachiru: You've got that damn right.
C.Queen: Isn't everyone just having such a lovely time? And just think, this is only the first chapter!
General consensus? They were doomed.
C.Queen: And now, for the last performance for this evening...I think a big group number is only appropriate. Don't you?
Soifon: I really don't.
C.Queen: Oh don't worry, I have something special planned just for you.
Soifon: Oh God.
C.Queen: But as I was saying, ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the final act for this lovely chapter. I bring you...a Soul Society.
head bonging
Nemu appears on stage, dressed in a blue dress with a white shirt underneath, with a book in hand. On stage is what looks like an empty town
Nemu: Soul Society
It's a quiet city
Ev'ry day
Like the one before
Soul Society
Full of many people
Waking up to say:
rest of Soul Society appears on stage in full uniform
Soul Society: Bonjour!
Bonjour!
Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!
Nemu: There goes the captain with his nap, like always
The same old stories and excuses to sell
Ev'ry morning just the same
Since the morning that we came
To this poor provincial town
Kyoraku: Good Morning, Nemu chan!
Nemu: 'Morning, Captain.
Kyoraku: Where are you off to?
Nemu: The bookshop. I just finished the most wonderful story
about a beanstalk and an ogre and a -
Kyoraku: That's nice. Nanao chan! The baguettes! Hurry up!
Soul Society: Look there she goes that girl is strange, no question
Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?
Never part of any crowd
'Cause her head's up on some cloud
No denying she's a funny girl that Nemu
Kuchiki: Bonjour
Zaraki: Good day
Kuchiki: How is your hellion?
Nanao: Bonjour
Kyoraku: Good day
Nanao: How was your nap?
Unohanna: I need six grams
Isane: That's too expensive
Nemu: There must be more than this provincial life
Ukitake: Ah, Nemu san
.
Nemu: Good Morning. I've come to return the book I borrowed.
Ukitake: Finished already?
Nemu: Oh, I couldn't put it down. Have you got anything new?
Ukitake: Ha Ha! Not since yesterday.
Nemu: That's all right. I'll borrow . . . . . this one!
Ukitake: That one? But you've read it twice!
Nemu: Well, it's my favorite! Far off places, daring swordfights,
magic spells, a prince in disguise -
Ukitake: If you like it all that much, it's yours!
Nemu: But sir!
Ukitake: I insist.
Nemu: Well, thank you. Thank you very much!
Soul Society: Look there she goes that girl is so peculiar
I wonder if she's feeling well
With a dreamy far-off look
And her nose stuck in a book
What a puzzle to the rest of us is Nemu
Nemu: Oh, isn't this amazing?
It's my fav'rite part because you'll see
Here's where she meets Prince Charming
But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three
Hinamori: Now it's no wonder that her name means "beauty"
Her looks have got no parallel
Kira: But behind that fair facade
I'm afraid she's rather odd
Very diff'rent from the rest of us
Soul Society: She's nothing like the rest of us
Yes, diff'rent from the rest of us is Nemu
Hana: Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Omaeda! You're the greatest
hunter in the whole world!
Omaeda: I know.
Hana: No beast alive stands a chance against you. Ha ha ha! And
no girl, for that matter.
Omaeda: It's true, you fool. And I've got my sights set on that one.
Hana: Hm! The inventor's daughter?
Omaeda: She's the one - the lucky girl I'm going to marry.
Hana: But she's -
Omaeda: The most beautiful girl in town.
Hana: I know, but -
Omaeda: That makes her the best. And don't I deserve the best?
Hana: Well, of course! I mean you do, but -
Omaeda: Right from the moment when I met her, saw her
I said she's gorgeous and I fell
Here in town there's only she
Who is beautiful as me
So I'm making plans to woo and marry Nemu
Nanao, Matsumoto and Isane: Look there he goes
Isn't he dreamy?
Captain Kuchiki
Oh he's so ripped
Be still my heart
I'm hardly breathing
He's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome-
Kira: Bonjour!
Omaeda: Pardon
Renji: Good day
Hisagi: Mais oui!
Nanao: You call this bacon?
Isane: What lovely grapes!
Yachiru: Some cheese
Matsumoto: Ten yards
Yachiru: one pound
Omaeda: 'scuse me!
Kuchiki: I'll get the knife
Omaeda: Please let me through!
Nanao: This bread -
Kuchiki: Those fish -
Nanao: it's stale!
Kuchiki: they smell!
Kyoraku: Nanao chan's mistaken.
Nemu: There must be more than this provincial life!
Omaeda: Just watch, I'm going to make Nemu my wife!
Soul Society: Look there she goes a girl who's strange but special
A most peculiar mad'moiselle
It's a pity and a sin
She doesn't quite fit in
'Cause she really is a funny girl
A beauty but a funny girl
She really is a funny girl
That Nemu
Nemu: I'm peculiar, odd and funny? But I was told I didn't have a sense of humor.
curtains and sweat drop