Touched

By: Jaded Image

AN: I re-read The Host today to check up on some little details. After reading the WandIan fluff, I just had to write this. I kept noticing all the little ways Ian reached out to Wanda, a gentle hand here, a soft kiss there. Bahahaha! They're too cute.

Where do I begin? Maybe I should start by saying that I think I'm obsessed. If you knew how my thoughts have been taken over by you, I think you might be frightened. I didn't mean for it to happen, really I didn't. And at the risk of sounding like a perverted creep, I admit that I am completely obsessed with touching you.

Even in my mind, that sounded crazy.

But that's the kind of effect you have on me, Wanderer. Without meaning to, you've captured my heart with your charm and innocence, your naivety and all around plain goodness. And I don't know if you'd consider that good or bad news, but I'm so in love with you…I don't even have words to describe how you make me feel.

So I try to show you by brushing my fingertips across your cheek, by placing a hand at the small of your back, by wrapping an arm around your waist. I hope to convey my feelings for you through touch because, in a way, words just aren't enough. And I'm so ridiculously happy when you don't pull away, and what's more, reciprocate.

When you were in Mel's body, I did reach out to you, but I had to restrain myself from going too far. I didn't want Mel to cause you too much grief. But when you finally had your own body, I knew there wasn't much that will or can keep me from you. Do you know what you did to me the first time you placed a hand against my cheek? My heart felt like it was about to burst! A simple touch from you makes me shiver inside.

Ah…I'm a weak man, Wanderer, to tremble at the fingertips of a woman. Not that I would have it any other way.

But if I tremble merely from your hands, your kisses simply wreak havoc within me. Mm, just the memory of brushing my lips against yours creates tingles down my spine and a fire in my body. And when you trace a path up the back of my neck and curl your fingers in my hair, gently kneading my shoulder with your other hand…

…I think I just lost track of what I was saying.

So, yes. I really, really like touching you, feeling your warmth against me, caressing the pale skin of your neck. And I like it even more when you touch me back, running a hand along my arm and bringing your cheek to gently rest against mine.

And every time I touch you, I hope you know that I'm trying to tell you how much I love you. Of course, I'll verbalize it too, simply because I like watching the smile that stretches across your lips and the faint blush that warms your cheeks. It's cute when you're flushed so dark that I can feel the heat coming off of you. Don't even get me started on how your eyelashes flutter when you're feeling shy. Or the way your fingers tangle nervously together.

But anyway, 'I love you' is only part of what I'm trying say. Wanda, with every touch, I want you to know that I'll always be there for you. I'll protect you from harm, and I hope you feel as safe in my arms as I do in yours. When your arms wrap around me, I'm comforted knowing that you're here. Did you know, you leaving me for some other planet is one of my greatest fears?

That day (let's call it Dooms Day) when you ditched me in my sleep (no hard feelings, I've long since come to terms with your selflessness), I had the strangest sensation lying there. When I lost touch with you, I felt a freezing emptiness. Can you imagine? Feeling cold in the desert?

And when I rushed in and saw another tank in Doc's hands…I'm glad you couldn't hear me from inside. I was furious, maybe even a little insane. Seeing you in your purest form, encased in that cryotank, tore me apart.

Wanderer, you aren't meant to be in a tank. You're meant to be in my arms, and just so you know, I don't intend to let you loose any time soon.

I'm ashamed to say that I was a little rough with Doc whilst trying to get you from him. I apologized afterwards, don't worry.

But at the time, all I could think was I had to hold you. So I kept you in my arms until Mel and Jared carried in this petite girl, Jamie practically skipping behind them.

And when Doc started the procedure of transferring you into the new host, I slipped you from the tank and cradled you in my hands for the first time.

You looked…

…

Sigh.

Kyle would punch me for being so sentimental.

I hope you believed me when I said that you are beautiful. You, yourself. I had never held anybody more beautiful than you. You glowed and looked so graceful the way you flowed and spread yourself into your body.

Then you opened your eyes, and I felt your hands tighten unconsciously around my fingers.

God, I love you.

So, I've made it my priority to be near you every chance I get. I want to be able to feel the smoothness of your skin and reach out to brush aside soft strands of your hair. Oh, and of course, brushing my lips against yours at inappropriate times in various niches in the caves. From the way you lean against me, I'm guessing you don't mind.

Not to sound selfish, but that also reduces the chances of other people—men—touching you. I don't want to go into the anger I felt when I saw the bruise on your arm. Suffice it to say, I felt the urge to severely hurt whoever it was that caused it, despite your rather pathetic lie to cover it up.

No offense, love.

But I hope you realize, when I take your hand, I'm saying I'll protect you. When I kiss you, I'm saying I love you. And when I pull you into my arms, I'm saying I want you by my side. For the rest of my life.

I'm not the most eloquent of men. Actions speak louder than words anyway. It's part of the reason why I love touching you.

Plus, it feels pretty damn amazing.

AN: Wow, I can feel my brain melting from the mushiness. The whole time, I imagined Ian saying this to me...er Wanda. :)

For those who have read my other Host fics, thank you so much for reviewing and letting me know what you think. I really appreciate it knowing that people took the time to comment. You guys are crazy cool in my book! haha

Also, let it be known that I'm working on a Wes/Lily fic. After re-reading the book, I've added them to my list of cute Host couples. They need some lovin'