"Dude, seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously!"

"…seriously?"

" SERIOUSLY! Now will you PLEASE stop saying that!" Drakken yelled at his younger cousin.

"Saying what?"

"Seriously."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously! Knock it off!"

Motor Ed sat quietly at the table in Drakken's lair, looking at the cup of cocoa-moo his cousin had fixed for him. He gave Drakken the occasional glance and opened his mouth a few times, just to close it again a second later. Drakken, on the other hand, kept tapping his fingers on the table to a bland tune, a constipated expression plastered on his face and his body slouching in the high-backed chair that he sat in. Eventually, the quiet tapping of Drakken's fingers compelled Ed to break the uneasy silence.

"You've never…you've never…uh…"

"Kissed anyone? No, I haven't," Drakken said as he took his hand off of the table and started to rub his temples. He took a quick glance at his cousin and started to get angry. "You're acting like I just told you wrestling is fake or something. It's not that weird."

"Dude, you're what, 40? And you've never even kissed anyone?" Ed asked.

"Well, I've been kissed, but I haven't kissed anyone myself. When you say it like that, it sounds bad."

"Sad is more like it, cuz. How do you expect to get the green babe to like you if you can't even lock lips properly?"

"Who said that I wanted Shego?" Drakken said defensively. A ring of petals popped up around Drakken's neck.

"Dude, your killer plants totally betray you. Seriously, you need to get some practice…" Suddenly, Ed's face brightened and a smile started to work its way to his mouth. "…or a tutor."

"A tutor?" Drakken asked, tearing the petals off of his neck. "On kissing? You have GOT to be joking me. Who in the world would do that?"

Ed jabbed a thumb into his chest. Drakken stared for a second, then let out a small groan.

"Drew, I'm the master at kissing the chicks. Seriously, all you have to do is follow my example and the babes will be lining up for a smooch. Now here, let me show you." Motor Ed jumped out of his chair and walked over to his blue cousin.

"Ed, is this really necessary?" Drakken asked, edging toward the other side of his chair as Ed reached his arm out toward Drew.

"Yeah, Drew, it is! Seriously! You're my favorite cuz, and I want to make sure that you can work it with the ladies. Now, come here," Ed said. His hand closed on Drakken's arm and Ed pulled his cousin out of his chair. Ed led him to the middle of the room and grabbed both of his wrists.

"Ed, what are you-" Drakken started, but was cut off when Ed forced Drakken's hands on him, the left hand on his upper back and his right hand behind Ed's neck.

"Now seriously, cuz, this is how it's done. Just sweep a gal off her feet-" Ed grabbed Drakken around his lower back and neck and bent Drakken backwards, forcing him off of his feet, quickly said, "and lay it on her.", and bent his head down to kiss his cousin full on the lips. At just the wrong possible moment, when Ed was showing Drakken how to get his hands in on the action, the sliding metal door for the room opened and in stepped the green babe herself. She looked at the scene before her, her eyes going from the master of mechanics with a mullet to her megalomaniacal blue skinned boss in the lab coat to Ed's hands, which were in compromising positions on Drakken's body, and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm guessing there's a real funny story behind this, huh, Doc?" Shego asked her blue boss. Drakken let out a small, muffled yelp as the ring of petals grew back around his neck.

Author's Notes:

You can all thank Mr. IT (Captain IT) for the inspiration for this story. One of the short one-shots in the collection, and another one of my attempts at humor. Go ahead with the beating stick, I once again deserve it.