Flying Embers Chapter 19: Hold Me in Your Arms, an avatar: last airbender fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Author's Note: It's hard to believe I haven't updated this collection in more than two years, but here I am again. This is based on the Brad Paisley song, "Hold Me in Your Arms (And Let Me Fall)." It's amazing how many Brad Paisley songs work with the Kataang ship, and I may be back with more eventually. However, due to the fact that this particular song has very few unique words, I decided not to make it an actual songfic. Instead, if you are curious, I've typed in the lyrics at the end of the story (with grammatical revisions, just because I'm picky that way).

Once again, I decided to place this during Ember Island Players. I hate to sound like a broken record, and I did consider dropping it in a couple of other sections of the series, but this seemed to work the best while causing the smallest amount of disruption to canon.

Hold Me in Your Arms

Upset, Aang walked out of the play while the actors playing Katara and Zuko had their conversation in the cave. If he heard Katara refer to him as a brother one more time, he thought he would scream. It made matters worse that he was afraid the Ember Island Players' interpretation wasn't too far off the mark. Katara hadn't said a word about their kiss before the eclipse. What was he supposed to make of that? He'd been willing to give her some time and space, considering that she'd lost her father that day to Fire Nation captivity. Then there'd been the chaos of Zuko finding their group and asking – begging, really – to join them, and he'd spent a lot of time teaching Aang firebending since then.

Still, it had been weeks now, and there had been plenty of down time which could have been used to explore their relationship. If she hadn't approached it, didn't it imply that she didn't want to? Sighing, he steeled himself to return for the third act. The second had to be almost over, so there was no point going back in now, especially when he didn't quite feel in control of himself yet.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there when he heard the soft voice behind him.

"Aang?" It was Katara, and he closed his eyes for a moment while his back was still turned. As much as he'd wished for them to talk, he wasn't sure he was ready to face her right now. "Is something wrong?"

"This play is wrong," he said, turning around and willing himself to just act like the friend he'd always been. Like he didn't want to be more than that.

"I can't argue with you there," she replied, her tone flippant but her eyes showing that she suspected there was something deeper going on. Aang opted to stall while he tried to decide whether he was going to make her pry it out of him.

"It was nice of you to come see how I am," he said. "But I'm fine, really."

"Actually, I didn't just come out to see you," she confessed. "I remembered what happened after Zuko took his sister's side in that battle, and…I just didn't need to see that again, fake or not."

"Oh." There didn't seem to be anything else to say to that. Katara hadn't spoken much about watching Aang die and bringing him back to life again, and it didn't look like she was anxious to talk about it now, either.

"So, why did you leave when you did?" she asked, sounding like she was working very hard at being nonchalant.

"It wasn't…it's just…do you really think of me as a brother?" he blurted out finally, deciding that he just had to know, one way or the other. This fretting about it was pulling him apart. Katara gave a startled laugh.

"Are you kidding?" she retorted incredulously. "One brother is enough. More than enough, some days."

"So…" the obvious question here was, "How do you feel about me?", but Aang found himself oddly reluctant to ask it. Instead, he said something that surprised even him: "Go to dinner with me."

"What?" Katara looked at him strangely, and even he was blinking a little in confusion. Still, now that he'd started on this path, he figured he might as well stay on it and see where it led. That was undoubtedly the nomad in him.

"Dinner, in the village," he clarified, the idea sounding better the more he thought about it. His voice gained in confidence. "Just you and me, two days from now."

"Like a…date?"

"Well, yeah, like a date. Why not? Wouldn't it be nice to just sit and talk over a meal and pretend we're just normal people?"

"But we're not normal people, Aang."

"So what? Can't we act like we are, just for one evening?" At this point, people began emerging from the theatre for the second intermission. Aang edged a little closer to Katara to minimize the chances of their conversation being overheard. After all, using their real names while at a play about them was not the best way to keep a low profile. Katara seemed to tense a little but did not move away.

"Where did this come from?" she inquired.

"I miss you," he told her bluntly. "We don't talk like we used to, and what happened to all of the hugs? It's like…you've been avoiding me." Katara closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

"So, we're going to do this now?" she whispered.

"Do what? What are you talking about?"

"You kissed me. You want to know if it meant anything to me."

"Well, yes. Who wouldn't?"

"I knew this was coming, but I'd hoped we could wait until the war was over." Katara shook her head, looking down at the balcony railing she was grasping.

"Why?" Aang was flummoxed by the direction this conversation was taking. It was a simple question he was asking – wasn't it? Then a possibility occurred to him. He didn't like to think it, but he had to voice it. "Are you saying it would be easier for you to turn me down after I'd done my duty and faced the Firelord? Like you don't want to disappoint me or unbalance me or something? Believe me, I'd be more focused if I just knew now."

"No, Aang, it's not…wait." Katara turned to face him, finally, her eyes full of confusion. "After all of this, you expect me to say no?"

"Well, yeah." Now it was his turn to look away and shrug. "I mean, you're beautiful, and kind, and generous, and incredible. I'm just…you could have anyone."

"But…you're the Avatar."

"And what does that mean in this incarnation except a better chance than most people of getting killed or injured? I can understand why you wouldn't want to saddle yourself with that. Why would any woman?"

"Aang…I had no idea you felt that way." Her voice sounded choked.

"And then, when you completely ignored the fact that we kissed…well, what was I supposed to think?" he continued, almost as if she hadn't spoken. He stopped then, aware that his voice was rising and might draw unwanted attention.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I just…I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll come to dinner." Aang turned toward her again. "I want to know how you feel about me, but I've decided that can wait until after we've had a date. When you need new clothes, you try stuff on, right? Find out what fits? So why not spend a little time alone with me and see if we fit?"

"Oh, Aang. It's never been a question of whether we fit. I know we do." At those words, Aang wanted to be happy, but there was such sadness in her face and voice that he didn't know how to respond.

"Then why aren't we together? I don't understand."

"I know, and that's my fault." She looked down, twisting her hair. "Do you know what I said to Zuko when he first joined us at the Western Air Temple?"

"No," he said, his heart tightening. She'd really seemed to hate Zuko then, but what if she was just covering up for some hidden feelings?

"I told him that I would kill him if he showed any sign of being a threat to you." She raised her eyes to Aang's, half defiant and half reluctant. "I meant it, too. That's how strong my feelings are for you. I'd kill for you, and it scares me."

Aang could only stand there, dumbfounded. Of all of the things he might have imagined her saying, this was not one of them. At first, he wasn't sure how to respond. Then, a series of recollections ran through his mind: the desperate fury he'd felt when he thought the Earth Kingdom general had buried Katara alive; the anger that had filled him when he'd discovered that Appa had been kidnapped; his rage when he'd finally understood that his people had been wiped out.

"I know what you mean," he said finally. She'd been through all of this with him, but feeling that sort of rage inside herself was probably very unsettling.

"You do?" Something about her honest surprise made him chuckle.

"You've been here while I figured out all of this Avatar stuff," he reminded her. "You don't think I understand what it's like to be afraid of your own anger?"

She just stared at him for a moment before managing a weak smile.

"You're right, of course," she agreed. "I just wasn't thinking, I guess." Silence reigned between them for a few more heartbeats. The torches in sconces along the outside of the theatre began to dim, then brighten again, clearly a signal from a firebender to summon the audience back to their seats. Katara and Aang, utterly absorbed in their own drama of the moment, ignored the people that moved around them on their way back inside.

Aang was lost in thought. What had seemed so urgent a moment ago suddenly wasn't anymore. Katara obviously had strong feelings for him and clearly cared about him deeply. Was it love? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe it would be, given time. He found himself thinking back to the synopsis of Roku's life that his predecessor had shown him. Avatar Roku had waited years to win over his true love. Despite the way Aang felt tonight, perhaps it wouldn't kill him to be patient for a few months or even years. He was, after all, barely 13 and probably wouldn't be allowed to marry her for a while yet. There was nothing wrong with a lengthy courtship. He took a deep breath.

"Katara, I love you," he confessed. "I'm sorry if you're not ready to hear that, but I need to say it. It took me a lifetime or more to find you – well, for you to find me, I guess – and I'll wait another lifetime for you if I have to. I'd rather not, but I will. I'd just like to ask for one thing."

"What?" asked Katara in a small voice. She still seemed to be struggling to comprehend his words, but she'd at least responded to the last sentence.

"A hug," he answered simply. Swallowing, she nodded, her eyes bright with unshed tears. They moved together, at first embracing tentatively, then molding together as they relaxed into it. Katara was right; they did fit, perfectly. Aang closed his eyes and inhaled the sweet fragrance of her loose hair, wishing he could kiss her again but knowing it would ruin this delicate balance they'd struck. If the balance was to be tipped again and a new equilibrium found, it would be for her to make it happen. He'd done what he could.

At last, they parted and smiled at one another. Katara wiped the moisture from her eyes, not even bothering to be unobtrusive about it. Aang hated seeing her sad, but he sensed that sadness was not exactly what she was feeling. More like overwhelmed with emotion, and she would probably need to sort that out on her own. As he had, over the past several weeks.

"Aang, I wish—" she began, but he held up a hand to stop her.

"It's okay," he assured her, and it was. He understood a lot of things now, and for the first time in months, he felt truly at peace with himself and the world. He extended a hand to her, and she took it shyly. They walked inside together, their handhold little more than a touch of fingertips, but somehow the more intimate for that.

They would see how the play concluded, but they now knew that their own ending was theirs to write.

Hold me in your arms,
Just see how it feels.
Don't make me wait forever
Just because you know I will.
Don't keep me hanging, wishing, waiting,
Hoping that you'll call.
Darling, hold me in your arms
And let me fall.

You've got reservations;
Well, darling, so do I,
But mine are at a restaurant,
6:30 Friday night.
I swear you won't regret it
If you agree to go.
Just do me one small favor
Before you tell me no.

When you go out shopping,
You try on brand new clothes.
To see if something fits or not,
There's just one way to know.
So why's it any different
When someone asks you out.
You might as well just try me on
Before you turn me down.

Yeah, darling, hold me in your arms and let me fall.

Author's Note: That actually turned out to be a lot longer than I expected. I was thinking a few hundred words, maybe a thousand words at the outside. I guess it took me longer to get to my ending than I thought it would. This is a little different angle than I've taken in the past.

Review responses:

Astra-the-Goddess: Thank you for your comments. I really can't think of anything to add to them.

Dionysus101: There's a lot of opportunity for alternate histories and storylines in this world, and I do think it would be interesting to see how things might have changed if Katara had healed Zuko's scar.

Joe: I agree, and thank you.

Raven-Dragonlady84: It struck me as odd that the potential defeat of everybody at the end of the play depressed and shocked the Gaang, yet the death scene that Katara actually witnessed didn't seem to bother her at all. It was Aang who'd left the theatre before getting to that point.

NightStar: Aw, thanks!

Vanille Strawberry: 15 minutes? More like 5 wordless seconds. Completely unsatisfying.

Paladin of Farore: I just never understood why the finale didn't explain why Katara reacted to Aang the way she did at the theatre. Last we knew, she was still confused.

AvatarTwilightObsession: Sorry I didn't come up with any more updates before now. You still out there?

Marisol Maza: Thank you very much! I've been going back and re-reading some of my stories myself, just to feel a little better about the whole series. I'm sure your question was rhetorical, but I'll answer it anyway. No; no, we didn't.:)

True-Romantique: That's okay. It's your prerogative to read the ones you want to. Did you ever come back to check out the rest?

nutshak: Well, maybe not quite finished. I always reserve the right to add on to my short story collections.

unpredictable gorilla: Well, thank you very much! Given how many times in the series Katara did throw herself at Aang, that she didn't when it would have made the most sense was just…weird. And yes, if the writers insisted on having her shut him down like that, they should have at least shown her suffering a little during the finale. That she didn't apparently indicated that she didn't really care about him that much, not even as a friend, which seemed to negate most of their interactions in seasons 1 and 2. To this day, I do not understand that decision by the creative team.

The Mad shoe1: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed them!