I dont own Naruto.

Tsunade was working in her office when snoring could be heard and she looked up and on her couch was a little blond hair boy with red tips on his hair and he was asleep. Tsunade sweatdropped and looked around trying to figure out how the hell a little kid could get by not only the guards outside but her as well and fall asleep on her couch. She got up and walked over to the child and started to wake him up until she noticed a picture in his hand. She lent down and grabbed the picture and got wide eyed looking at the kid noticing his looks for the first time.

Shaking her head she walked over to the door and opened it and signaling for Shizune to come here.

When Shizune walked in she was about to say something when Tsunade put her fingers to her lips stopping her and pointed to the child making Shizune also wonder how he got in since she has been at her desk for the last hour since she left the room and Tsunade showed her the picture and mouthed 'bring them all her.'

Shizune looked at it agian and mouthed 'whos that' pointing toward one of the people in the picture.

Tsunade shrugged her shoulders and Shizune nods and leaves.

Tsunade looks back at the kid one last time and gets back to working on her paperwork. She has the feeling she is going to need alot of time when the others arrive.

One by one each of the rookie nine and Gais team came in and Tsunade had put a sign on the door saying no talking when you enter. They each saw the child asleep wondering who he was when Naruto busted in the door screaming "Hey granny, Whats the big idea of pulling me away from my lunch." making everyone cut thier eyes at him.

The little boy groaned and said "Your to loud dad." as he rolled over trying to go back to sleep.

Naruto stop dead in his tracks looking over at the sleeping child and everyone sweatdropped because the kid called Naruto dad.

Tsunade sighed and said "I guess we might as well get this started. Hey kid, wake up."

The little boy ground agian and said "Damn it, granny Tsunade here also, I thought she was still on her honeymoon with uncle erosannin." making everyone wide eyed and Naruto looked ill.

The little boy sat up and looked around and he asked "Granny, what are you doing in dads chair and why does everyone look so young."

Sakura asked "Tsunade, who is he and what does he mean."

Tsunade said "I honestly dont know. He appeared on the couch a little while ago and was holding a picture with all of you in it but you were all older."

Naruto asked "Who are you."

The boy said "How can you forget my name daddy, you picked the name yourself. Its your only child Haku Uzumaki Namikaze." as he looked at Naruto.

Naruto asked "Namikaze, whose that."

Tsunade was sweating and the kid said "Dad, thats our real last name. Remember how you were told who grandpa was on your 16th birthday."

Naruto said "Im only 14 Haku."

Haku stopped and asked "Say that agian."

Naruto said "14, Im 14."

Haku scratched his head and said "If thats true then that means..." as his eyes got wide and he put his fingers into a ram seal and said "Kia." as his ears got pointy and he had two tails going out his tailbone and he looked and got excited and said "It happened I got my 2 tail wish. Yippie. This is better then Ramen." as he looked excited and everyone else was wide eyed and in a little bit of a defensive position.

Tsunade decided to get some answer and said "Haku was it. Who are your parents."

Haku said "Thats funny granny Tsunade, My dad is Rokudaime Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze and my mommy is Ryuubi no Kistune." with a smile on his face.

Naruto felt an intense pain and fell to his knees grabbing his stomach and suddenly a red glob of energy shot out of Naruto stomach and it started to take shape and everyone was ready for a fight when a woman in her teens appeared with red hair and 9 tails out of her back with red eyes and she ignored everyone in the room except the child who was smiling and said "mommy." as he ran over and hugged the woman making everyone unsure about whats going on.

Naruto said "Damn that hurts."

The woman turned and said "Shut it up kit before I kill you."

Naruto hearing the voice thinking its in his head said "Fuck off Kyuubi, I dont feel like your shit today." making everone look at the two and Tsunade thinking "he just told the Kyuubi to fuck off."

Haku said "Daddy. Why are you and mommy acting like its mommy time of the month." making everyone fall over animestyle.

Naruto looked up finally and saw the woman being held from the waist down by what looked like a 7 year old and Naruto asked "Who are you." making everyone fall down agian.

The woman said "Damn humans."

Naruto got wide eyed a moment and stuttered "Kyuubi."

Sakura finally had enough and asked "Whats going on here and who is this woman and what was that red ball of energy earlier."

Tsunade said "Well..."

Kyuubi said "Simple, I am the Great Kyuubi no Kitsune that attacked this pitifal village 14 years ago and dipshit over here father stopped me by sealing me in the baka. When I heard this kitt here call me my real name I decided to force myself free to see for myself if he really was who he claimed to be."

Everyone was backed away from the woman and Tsunade asked "Is he."

Kyuubi now being called Ryuubi said "yes, I can smell mine and the bakas scent from him meaning he is our child. How he came about I have no idea. Tell me little one, whats happened up to know in your life so we can figure out how you came to be."

Haku looked at his mom and said "Well, granny Tsunade stepped down from Hokage when daddy was 16 naming him Hokage, Aunty Sakura and Uncle Neji married about a year later."

Everyone was wide eyed and Sakura asked "Why would I marry him and what about Sasukekun."

Haku said "Sasuke, Sasuke...Oh you mean Hebiteme. Daddy killed him when he tried to kill you and little Kaylechan."

Neji asked "Who is Kaylechan."

Haku giggled and said "Kaylechan is the only pink haired Hyuuga, your daughter." making both Sakura and Neji wide eyed.

Tenten asked "How did those two get together."

Haku said "Daddy said it was something about aunty Sakura having a thing for guys with stuff shoved up thier butts. Aunty Sakura showed me xrays of uncle neji butt showing that he did not have something up his but but she also showed me ones where daddy had aunty Sakura shoe up his. Daddy would then say she removed the object before taking the picture is all." as he rubbed his chin.

Sakura walked over and punched Naruto into the floor and Neji glaring at him while everyone else snickered.

Tsunade asked "How was your life Haku."

Haku said "It was great. Daddy said everything got better after him and mommy got together. Most of the people who dont like daddy left for insobia or something like that."

Ryuubi asked "What else."

Haku thought a moment and said "well aunty bunbun and uncle fuzzybrows married about the same time and had little Juliechan."

Naruto said "Why did tenten and lee get together."

Haku said "Something about her threatening to cut of his youth if he did not get rid of the green spandex."

tenten giggled thinking of that while lee paled.

Naruto asked "Ok, how about me and her." pointing to Ryuubi.

Haku said "dont really know. Something about pride being an issue or thats what uncle erossannin said."

Tsunade rubbed her forehead and asked "how did you get here haku."

Haku said "I just got my second tail. I guess I got my wish." as he looked back at his tail.

Ryuubi said "When a Kitsune earns a new tail they get a single wish fulfilled. What was your wish little one."

Haku said "I wished I could come back and ask you and daddy if I could have a big brother or sister." making everyone facefault agian.

Ryuubi looked at Naruto and Haku started to fade shocking everyone and Tsunade asked "Whats going on." with concern in her voice.

Ryuubi sighed and said "he made his wish now that its complete hes going back to where he came from."

As he was gone Tsunade asked "Kyuubi, why did you attack Konoha."

Ryuubi said "I was sent to kill orochimaru." making everyone wide eyed.

Tsunade asked "why were you sent to kill Orochimaru and who sent you."

Ryuubi said "Kami sent me to kill him since he figured out a way to be immortal. Everyone else got in my way."

Tsunade rubbed her temples and Naruto said "You mean to tell me that my life has been hell because of Kami being pissed at Hebiteme. Why the hell didn't he just strike the bastard down and be done with it. It would have saved everyone a whole lot of headaches." as he glared at Kyuubi.

Kyuubi shrugged her shoulders and said "That what he did when he sent me baka, unfortinately for all of us your baka father screwed it up by getting in my way."

Naruto said "Shut the fuck up Kyuubi. Dad saved this village from you, Kami or No. Wait, you had a fucking human form and you..." as he tried to describe his thoughts."

Kyuubi walked over and slapped him across the face sending him into the wall and said "Don't you talk to me like that baka."

Naruto got up and said "Alright bitch, thats it, female or not, I am taking those fucking tails off your ass and shoving them down your throwt. Nobody get involved or I will kill you myself." as he charged Kyuubi.

Kyuubi sent a spinning heel kick at Naruto but Naruto blocked it grabbing her left and grabbed her by her shirt picking her up and slamming her into the floor. He then went to stomp on her but Kyuubi rolled to the side and she wiped her mouth and said as she pulled her hand away and saw blood "My, my kit. Its been nearly 4000 years since someone actually made me bleed. Lets see if I can return the favor." as she jumped toward Naruto with a clawed hand.

Naruto grabbed her hand and Kyuubi tried to hit him with her other one when Naruto grabbed it and and then headbutted Kyuubi breaking her nose.

Kyuubi flipped dislocating her own shoulders to wrap her legs around Naruto head and used them to flip him over and slam him into the ground.

Off to the side everyone was gaping and Kiba said "Tell me, is Naruto actually kicking THE KYUUBI ass."

Ino gaped and said as she saw Kyuubi last move "That...has got to hurt."

Tsunade sighed and thought "at least its still contained in this office and the seals are keeping everyone from feeling or hearing or seeing this."

Naruto spat out some blood and looked at Kyuubi who was looking at him smugly with her foot on his chest.

Naruto rolled to the side grabbing Kyuubi by her leg pulling her down and bent backwards into a sharpshooter sitting on her back.

Kyuubi pushed off with her free leg forcing them into the cealing and naruto had to let go but he grabbed the cealing with chakra on his feet and when Kyuubi landed on all 4s he launched himself and tackled her in the back.

Kyuubi screamed "AAAAHHHH." as she was forced onto the ground.

Naruto turned and grabbed her by the back of the head and started slamming it into the ground saying "How does it feel to feel pain."

Kyuubi whose face was pretty busted up coughed up blood and said "Fine...you win master."

Everyone blinked and Naruto asked "What."

Kyuubi said "You won, your my master now." as Naruto started to get off of her.

Naruto asked "What do you mean I am your master now."

Kyuubi turned around and everyone winced as they looked at her as her chakra started to heal her and she said "Exactly what I meant. You challenged me to a fight and won so now I am yours to do with as you please." as she looked at the ground.

Tsunade asked "Wait, Kyuubi, what do you mean by that."

Kyuubi ripped her shirt a little and started wiping the blood of her face and said "What is so hard to understand. I fought and loss. Naruto is more powerful then me."

Everyone gaped as Kyuubi said that and Kiba said "But how, you destroyed half the village. How can he be stronger then you."

Kyuubi sighed and said "Remember how I said I forced myself out of the seal. Well guess what. I lost almost all of my power to do so. While I was weak Naruto here fought me and he won there for by the law Kami made I am now his...whats the word I am trying to think of, property, slave, servent, concubine, wife, mate...thats the word I am now his mate."

Tsunade frowned and thought "so thats what Jiraiya must have meant by it being a thing of pride. I see." and asked "So what happens now."

Kyuubi said "Simply put, as far as Kami is concerned hes my mate and since hes human so am I now. Well, half human most likely since the kitt that was here before had kitsune abilities but I will still die the same time he does now. Oh well, nothing new. So what do you want of me master." as she looked at Naruto.

Naruto said "I..wait, I just wanted to kick you ass."

Kyuubi said "And you did but didn't you ever think that your actions have consequences. If you fight a demon to one on one fight and beat the demon the demon either has to kill themselves or become one of those words I used trying to figure out the meaning behind. I don't want to die so I am now your mate. Besides..." as she walked over and kissed him passionately and stepped back licking the blood off his lips and said "I like the taste of blood as well as being rough."

Tsunade thought "my god, shes another Anko."

Naruto whose eyes glossed over a moment grabbed Kyuubi and pulled her back roughly and smashed his lips into hers as his hands began to run along the back side of her and as he got to her ass cheeks he squuezed them and grabbed her thighs and pulled her legs on either side of him.

Tsunade yelled "STOP this now."

Kiba snickered at this and Hinata hit him and Kiba asked "What." as everyone gaped at the two making out.

Hinata said "We have to stop them.

Just then they broke the kiss and Kyuubi moaned and Kiba said "I don't think any of you realise what just happened do you." with a smirk on his face.

Tsunade had a vein on her forehead and screamed "THATS IT. NARUTO, KYUUBI, GET OUT OF MY OFFICE."

Kyuubi snapped her finger and both Naruto and Kyuubi disappeared in a swirl of flames still making out.

After a few seconds Tsunade locked eyes on Kiba and said "Explain."

Kiba grinned and said "Its basic animal instincts. Thier both in bloodlust."

Ino asked "Bloodlust. What do you mean."

Kiba said "Its something my clan knows well. After such emotional fights as we just saw your instincts kick in and you either need one of 2 things to get rid of them. Seeing massive amounts of blood or..."

Shikamaru said "Or give in to your lust." figuring it out.

Kiba nods and Tsunade said "I want you all to keep quite about what you have seen and heard until I can figure out what to do."

Just then the door opened and a couple of chunnins said "Tsunade, you need to do something."

Tsunade had a vein and asked "You have better have a good excuse to burst into my office without knocking or you will be busted down to gennin and do D-rank mission the rest of your life."

The chunnins looked scared a moment until one pointed outside and said "Open your window and you will know."

Tsunade sighed and said "Shizune, open the window so I can kill these 2."

Shizune walked over and opened the window when the sound of "YES NARUTOKUN, FASTER, FASTER. OH SWEET KAMI, THANK YOU FOR SEALING ME IN HIM OH FUCK, RIGHT THERE..." and the screams of Kyuubi kept going and going and going.

Sakura said "I guess this would be the cause of Insomnia that Haku told us about."

Everyone suddenly had a dark look and Ino asked "exactly how long is bloodlust."

Kiba looked sheepish and said "Until they can't stay awake any longer."

Everyone eyes got wide and Shikamaru said "how troublesome.

Hinata muttered "lucky bitch." as the echoes went on and on of Kyuubi and Naruto.

Tsunade vein was ready to pop out of her head and said "Shizune, close the window, both of you leave. I will take care of it."

After the 2 chunnins were gone Sakura asked "What should we do shishou."

Tsunade sighed and looked at her desk and something caught her eye and she smirked and said "Nothing, looks like Haku got his wish." as she turned the picture around and everyone saw 2 older looking version of Haku standing with all of thier older versions. One boy and one girl.

Ino said "damn, that was fast."

Everyone nods and Tsunade said "Alright, all of you leave. I got a headache and there is no way I am going to interupt them in the middle of having sex. I will have Jiraiya put a sound proof seal on his apartment later or better yet his parents house."

Shikamaru said "Yes, Im suprise Naruto did not freak out hearing his father was the Yondaime."

Tsunade grinned and said "Wait till he heres that Minato who was his father was my son. That should freak him out..in fact you know whats funny, I was concieved in this office, his father was concieved in this office, and his children were most likely started in this office as well. I wonder if he still wants to be hokage after hearing about that."

Everyone looked shocked and discusted and Sakura said "Wait, you mean hes related to 4 of the hokages."

Tsunade looked sheepish and said "not exactly."

Sakura sighed and said "Thank god, I thought that you were being serious for a moment."

Tsunade said "No, you seem to be mistaken about one thing, its not 4 hokage but all of them."

Everyone blinked and blinked again and Tenten said "Wait, if thats true then that means that..." as her brain caught up with her.

Tsunade said "Well, when your drunk and lonely and suffering from losing people you sometimes do things that you don't like to talk about or remember. At least I know this desk is pretty sturdy."

Everyone looked sick looking at the desk and ran out of the office and Shizune said "That was wrong Tsunade."

Tsunade snickered and said "I know, I will tell them all the truth later."

Shizune sighed and said "Thank god. I was sure you were serious about sleeping with the Sandaime."

Tsunade said "No, sensei and I never slept together and you know I never had any children. I just had to do something to get them out of my office fast so I could do this." as she poured her a glass of sake.

Just as she was taking a sip of the sake her window broke and a scream of "OOOOOHHHHH FUUUUUUCKKK IIIII'MMMMMM CCCCUUUUUUMMMMMIIIINNNNGGGGGG." caused her to spit out her sake.

Tsunade started to slam her head on the desk and said "Why, why, why did he have to fall for a screamer."

Shizune said "Its fate."

Tsunade looked at her assistant with a glare and said "Get out."

Shizune smile and left and thought "my little brother has grown up...Im so proud...Im so proud I have my room soundproofed suckers." as she snickered to herself heading for her home and her room since her day was already over.

Back with Naruto and Kyuubi, Naruto looked at the panting Kyuubi and said "Ready for round 2."

Kyuubi grinned and said "Your on." as she passinately kissed him as they began again.

Over the next month over 1/4 of the village left. All of them were the ones who hated him. The Rookie nine and Gais team all learned the truth Tsunade was joking and Shizune got a good night sleep every day while Naruto learned pregnant vixens were horny all the time. Life was good.