Potter/Pikachu:comes running into and slams door against several angry cahinsaw clad readersI knew I shouldn't have funded that stupid weapons stand. clears throat Okay peoples, time for my pathetic explanation of why its this is up March 7th instead of Feb. 28th. Well, you see what had happened was, I was visiting Fictionalley, when BAM! An original angsty story idea hit me like a butt naked orangutan. I'm sorry, but the sheer magnitude of its genius just threw me off of HPDK for a while and well…I still haven't finished. However! Since I will mostly likely be murdalized if I don't post something soon, I give you all Part one of Chpt. 13!

Oh God! The crappiness of this is beyond words, but I'll revamp like crazy once I get part 2 over and done with. mutters and that pesky little original story out of my system. Do not fret dear readers, for Demon Knights shall live on!

Potter/Pikachu: Chapter 13:

He's a Demon in Disguise

The three Knights discussed the current situation into the late hours of the night. Half of it was spent quelling Harry's fears and calming him down, for after the realization that Cypress was indeed going to be teaching classes to children and going about with free rank to do as he pleased, he got a little hysterical…

"I CAN'T DO THIS! THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY I CAN DO THIS!"

Yup, just a teensy weensy bit hysterical.

"Harry. Come on sweetie calm down, okay. Everything's going to be alright," Asuka's voice soothed over the communicator. "You read the Prophecy remember? Cypress wont be able to hurt anyone as long as you keep quiet about it."

Harry took a few deep breaths. They'd said that three times already, but it was only now that he had been able to register their words. "I – I don't know Asuka. I felt his power and…" he swallowed, pushing back the memories of panic and fear, "there's just so much at risk."

"Listen Harry, I know you can do this," the Catheldra said sternly. "You're a Demon Knight danmit! And there hasn't been a Knight yet who couldn't keep their demon's in line."

Harry mentally groaned, Asuka's words not having the reassuring affect that was intended. He hoped he wouldn't be the first to break that record. "But what if I'm not strong enough?"

"Don't kid yourself Harry, you're hella strong and you know it!" Ivory's voice spoke up. "And once we're done training you you'll be wipin' the floor with him!"

Harry smiled wearily. "You really think so?"

"'Course we do stupid, why else would we be still stickin' around?" Ivory said, her tact in check as always.

"Believe us, if we didn't think you were up to this kid, we would tell you."

That couldn't have been more then the truth. Though Ivory and Asuka were hardly similar, the one thing that they ultimately shared in common was their sheer bluntness.

The matter of weather Harry should make any moves against Cypress was already settled. It was absolutely not going to happen, not tonight and not anytime soon if they could help it. So, for the next hour or so they went over the Prophecy, all noting that the words 'The savior of light and the demon will meet,' were now bright red and in curly calligraphy.

Their conversation soon turned to future plans and training dates.

"Your training starts tomorrow night Pumpkin!" Harry rolled his eyes, it seemed Ivory had an endless list of nicknames for him. "Ten thirty sharp. Ooooh, we are going to work your ass over!"

Harry groaned, "Great. First day back and I'm already going to start breaking the rules."

"What are you talkin'? Rules were meant to be broken!"

"As long as you have a good reason to back it up," Asuka added.

"Yeah, well that's all fine and good, but how the hell am I supposed to just waltz out of here in the middle of the night with prefects and teachers crawling all over the place huh? Even if I used my invisibility cloak I'd be bound to bump into someone or something."

There was a pause. Maybe they were actually thinking the problem through. His hopes were dashed, when Ivory's solution was the simple statement of, "Surprise us."

Harry smacked his forehead and groaned again.

"You've faced an army of psycho Dark Wizards and Devlin alone without anything other then your hands and feet to protect yourself," said Asuka, "sneaking out of Hogwarts should be pie compared to that."

"I guess you're right," Harry resigned with a yawn. It was getting late. "When are you not?"

"Actually, I could name a few times where – "

" – I'm sure he's not interested," Asuka quickly ceased any incriminating knowledge of herself being let known. "I think its time we hit the sack. Some of us have school in the morning."

"…Asi, I haven't been in school for years…" Ivory whispered, sounding extremely confused.

"Not you dumbass!"

Harry laughed.

Asuka sighed, and was probably shaking her head like she always did when Ivory said something that annoyed her, "Goodnight Harry."

And as always, Ivory would cheerfully speak as if never having been insulted or reprimanded, "'Night little buddy!"

Harry bade them goodnight as well. He tapped the communicator twice and put it away. Sleep was all he could do now, and for once he wouldn't have to worry about waking up with scars all over him. 'Just the emotional ones.' He looked at the clock on his nightstand. It blinked 2:35 am back at him. He shrugged. Might as well risk getting some shuteye while he could, he had a big day to look forward to after all.

"Kill the spare."

"Avada Kedavera!"

A flash of green light, and Harry sighed. He didn't scream, and didn't shoot up in his bed like he usually did. He just laid there, his eyes still closed and contemplating. He wished with all his might that at least that nightmare in particular would stop, and even more the guilt racking his soul would leave him be. Why the hell did he have to have a stupid conscious anyway? Why the hell did Voldemort only succeed in killing people that weren't him?

…And why the hell did he smell pancakes?

Harry's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, still in that strange state of sleep and wakefulness. There was a weight on his legs that he didn't remember being there last night, and he thought he sensed something familiar near by. Resigning that he'd never get these mysterious attributes solved if he remained in the position he was in, he opened his eyes.

A blurry figure was leaning over him, dangerously close.

"Buenos días Chico!"

A now heavily accented blurry figure.

"CARMEN?" Harry quickly bolted upright in a sitting position, jabbing his glasses on so fast that he almost poked his eye. Carmen stood next to his bed, dressed and ready for the day with a sunny smile on her face to match.

Well, if you can call what she was wearing dressed. Her Hogwarts robes were tight, and they hardly looked black because of the depth of its transparency. Underneath them was an equally tight red strapless belly shirt and the normal Hogwarts skirt.

"Careful Chico, you'll spill your breakfast," she said, as usual ignoring or oblivious to Harry's shock of her presence.

Harry turned his bemused gaze to the weight he had felt on his lap before. On a silver tray was more then just a little breakfast, it was a freakin' cuisine! Scrambled, and sunny side up eggs, bacon, toast, a small bowl of fruit, waffles, a stack of pancakes slathered in maple syrup, sausage, and a goblet of orange juice on the side, all of it radiating deliciousness and just an arms reach away.

Harry resisted the urge to drool.

"Go ahead and eat lipsion, before your food gets cold."

Now that he thought about it, he was kind of hungry…

'Must. Not. Give in. To. Temptation.' Harry tore his eyes away from the food, getting back on track to his original ailment. "Carmen, this is the boys dormitory, you're not supposed to be in here! What if one of the guys – " He cut himself off looking around the room. All of the four-poster beds were neatly made and empty. "Where is everyone?"

Carmen's sunny smile turned upside down, "Is that all you have to say, after I went through all this trouble to make you breakfast in bed?" she said tightly, completely disregarding his question. She sat down at the edge of his bed beside him. "It was hard carrying all that food up those estupido stairs! You're just so – so, ungrateful!" She buried her head in her hands and bawled, turning her back to him.

Harry patted her back with a tentative hand. He knew he should be used to this by now, if not immune. It was just something about a woman crying that rattled his insides, made him want to do anything to make it stop. He'd found himself feeling more strongly about the issue during his third year, when his mothers pleading screams were a constant in his head whenever dementors came near him. It had probably intensified without his notice after the little vision of his mother and Voldemorts excursion.

Harry sighed. What could he say? He was just a sucker for a lady's tears. "It's not that I don't appreciate what you did but…you really didn't have too do this – "

He cut himself off again as Carmen whipped around, eyes dry and expression stoic. "Of course I did mi amor," she said in a soft, seductive undertone, eyeing him up and down with an almost animalistic hunger that had nothing to do with food. "It's what couples do together."

"Carmen, we're not a couple…we're not a anything!" Harry corrected, keenly aware that he'd gone over this conversation with her before. 'I'll never learn.'

"Oh, you're so silly with your stupid talk Chico," she said with a giggle, "that's one of the reasons I love you so much, other then your delectable good looks of course."

Harry sighed. If she didn't except that, then a simple, 'please get the hell out of here' and 'stay the freak away from me' probably wouldn't faze her either. His eyes widened, as a horrible thought occurred to him just then, "Carmen," he asked, his voice wavering in fear of the answer, "how – how long have you been here?"

"A few hours or so. You look so peaceful when you sleep, Chico. Like a cherub resting on a cloud of roses," she said wistfully, unbeknownst to Harry's look of utter horror.

A few hours? Who knew what she could've been doing to him that entire time. And he hadn't even sensed her! There was a Demon in the school, and yet he couldn't tell if a psycho stalker had been raping him in his sleep! God, he was lucky he made it through the night!

But he couldn't take all the blame. What of his dorm mates? His fellow lions? Had they not noticed this obviously female person come up to their room and stand over him, or had they just not cared?

"How did you get in here anyway?" he ventured to ask, making a mental note to never depend on his companions in case of any emergencies.

His question went right over her head as usual as she sighed, retreating into her own little world of fantasies. "I wonder what else couples should do together?" She laid back on top of Harry's legs, head next to his tray of food, as content as could be. Harry's face went into a full flush in approximately five seconds, faster then any one he ever had. Her skirt and shirt hiked up a few inches, revealing her flesh even more then the outfit's intention. He was once again reminded of how long she had been in his dorm. Why oh why did he choose to sleep in his underwear last night?

"They go out on dates," she continued, "walk to classes together, have rough passionate sex in the early hours of the morning…"

Harry gulped, subconsciously pulling his blankets up a little closer to his chin, "What was that last one?" he choked out, feeling extremely vulnerable and trapped under her slender form.

"Mm, doesn't that sound…" she turned on her side, facing him, and plucked a pancake from the top of the stack. She chomped on it with her teeth bared, then ripped off a piece violently, "…exciting?" Her other hand crawled up his leg and lingered on his thigh, rubbing it in small circles. "Why, we could do exactly that right now, couldn't we? And what do ya know?" She mimicked Harry's earlier move of looking around the empty dormitory, "Nobody hear to interrupt us."

A devilish smile graced Carmen's lips, "It would be so thrilling. Doing it here in the boys dormitory, with only fifteen minutes before class starts." She sighed in deep content, "Just like in a romance novel."

As Harry was about to remove her hand from its position on his thigh, and firmly rebuke her in saying that it was quite unromantic to be having sex with her when they barely knew each other, something she had said actually registered as non-mindless dribble, "Fifteen minutes? Are you serious?"

Carmen nodded her head vigorously, thinking he was all for the idea of a good fuck before class started.

Harry, on the other hand, hardly had those intentions in mind. He looked to his clock, which read 7:45 on the nose, just to be certain. "Ah crap! I'm going to be late on my first day!" Without warning, Harry bolted out of bed in a frenzy, knocking a very surprised Carmen to the floor.

In all of the commotion to hurry up, he had completely forgotten about his limited amount of clothing, which merely consisted of white boxers patterned with golden snitches and Quidditch King written across his posterior. Carmen, from her position on the floor, had a perfect view of his booty, and was melting at the glory of it all.

Harry skidded to a stop at the door and hesitated for a second, before running back over to his bed. He popped a few bacon strips into his mouth, "Mmmm, delicious!" he exclaimed with his mouth full, then ran off to do what he had started out for, still oblivious to his partial nudity.

Carmen, finally getting out of her delighted shock, pounded her fists on the floor and hooted, "Aye caramba! What an ass!"

Harry was still blushing at the memory of Carmen's comment on his gluteus maximus as he finished getting dressed in record time. Five minutes down, and only ten minutes until breakfast was over. If he kept up his speedy pace, then he'd make it just in time to at least get his schedule and maybe even a swig of orange juice. He made a mad dash through the empty halls and down endless flights of moving staircases, skipping ten at a time without loosing balance or getting stuck in any of the trick steps.

He finally reached the ground floor. Feeling extremely light on his feet with all of the jumping he'd been doing, Harry leapt across the last thirty steps, and continued on running down the Entrance Hall. It wasn't until he rounded a corner that he realized he was going faster then normal, the indicator being the smoke rising around him and the burning sensation going through the soles of his shoes. He slowed down to a reasonably fast jog, at the same time hopping from foot to foot to fan his shoes with his hand.

A group of third year Hufflepuff's heading off to class a little early (since he had yet to hear the bell ring) gave him funny looks as he hopped and skipped by. He probably looked exceptionally crazy, considering the fact that he was saying things such as, "Ooh…ooh…ah… ow…hot… hot… hot!"

Sufficiently cooled down, he made it to the Great Hall.

"Ye there runt! Slow down before yeh knock somethin' over wit ye're foolish tromping about!"

At first Harry had thought it was Hagrid. That thought was scratched out quickly enough. Sure, the accent was about the same, but it was harsher and a lot deeper. And the aura was completely different, a bit stronger and way colder then the gentle giants would ever get.

He probably could've spared himself this assessment if he hadn't had so much attention on his shoes. When he did look up, it was indeed not Hagrid standing on the right side of the door that led to the Great Hall. It was a very, very big man, maybe the size of two Hagrids stacked on top of each other, with a long scraggly red beard and hair. As an added accessory, he held a large battle ax as big as his tree trunk like arms behind his back, looking all the world like he was going to yell, "Fee, fy, foe, fum, I smell the blood of an English munchskin!"

'So these are the Giants.' He'd completely forgotten about the new guards at Hogwarts. He now held a slight understanding of why Ron was so apprehensive when he found out that Hagrid was half Giant last year. He estimated they could probably easily wrestle down a medium sized dragon if the situation called for it. 'Guess they're better then Dementors.'

"What are yeh lookin' at boy?" the Giant growled, glowering down at him.

Looking at indeed! He had to crane his neck all the way back just to glimpse the guy in the eye. He shrugged in response to his question, "Your axe," was the second thing that came to mind. The first was "You, obviously," but somehow he didn't think he would take it as well as Hagrid might.

The Giant swung his ax over his head and folded his arms across his chest. His thick eyebrows drew together and lips pulled back into an angry scowl. "Well, unless yeh want a closer look at me ax, I suggest yeh hurry along and worry bout' ye're own ruddy business."

Harry narrowed his eyes, finding as little intimidation from this menacing monstrosity as he did in a butterfly. 'Aww, isn't that cute, he's threatening me.' Formidable as they may be, the only thing that came to mind in Harry's case was the old saying The bigger they are, the harder they fall. "Mm, right," he said in a careless tone, then brushed past the now fuming Giant.

He took a seat at Gryffindor table, returning Hermione's morning greeting with a smile and cheery "Hello" and throwing an accusing glare in Ron's direction.

"You're certainly up late, sleep well?" she queried, handing him his schedule.

"No! Well…yeah," Harry quickly corrected, seeing Hermione's worried look, "it's just that somebody didn't wake me in time."

"Heh, heh, sorry about that," Ron apologized pathetically. "I had to get up early to sign up for Dueling and Journalism, you wouldn't believe how long the lines were."

"I didn't know you liked Journalism," said Hermione, a certain amount of surprise and bewilderment in her voice.

"Well, I don't. But dad said that an elective or two would look good on my transcripts if I want to become an Auror," said Ron, plowing through the remainder of his scrambled eggs. "Anyway, it was a few hours until my turn and by then I was so hungry I forgot all about you!" He laughed nervously as Harry continued to glare at him.

"Nice Ron," Harry said, shaking his head in irritation, "real nice. Thanks to you, I was almost molested!" he hissed.

Hermione's eyebrows rose in surprise, "Molested? By who?"

"Who else? Carmen Sandiego," he said, shuddering at hearing her name come out of his mouth.

"Carmen Sandiego?" Ron said thoughtfully. "Wasn't she that girl groping you at the Talent Show?"

"No Ron, it was Jessica Alba." at Ron's blank look, Harry quickly withdrew the sarcastic comment, "Never mind. It was her, and she probably tried to freakin' feel me up in my sleep!"

Instead of another one of Ron's heart felt apologies, he thumped Harry on the back and hooted a laugh, "Harry mate. Usually when the girl wants to feel you up, it's considered a good thing."

Harry openly gaped at him, aghast, "Ron, I'm not quite sure you understand the situation here!" he said slowly, emphasizing each word, "She's out of her bloody mind! And even if she wasn't, I'm not just going to shag her the first chance I get."

"And it is exactly that kind of talk that will keep you a virgin forever."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Excuse me for wanting to take my time."

"Well I think you're absolutely right in saying that Harry, and I'm proud of you!" Hermione exclaimed in delight, nodding as if approving of an overly sufficient essay grade. "Its good to know some men out there are interested in more things about a woman then sex."

"What, 'Mione?" Ron said to his peeved girlfriend, putting his hand on her shoulder, "I'm not going out with you just so I can sleep with you…I need the answers for my homework too."

With a cry of indignation, Hermione conked him on the head with a bread stick. It snapped in half when it connected, causing crumbs to shower down on his hair and robes. "Argh Hermione!" he yelped, rubbing his head in surprise. He gave her a helpless look, as if not knowing his offence. Hermione narrowed her eyes and waved another breadstick threateningly at him. "Okay, okay! Bad joke, I get it. It won't happen again I swear!"

"Hmph, chauvinist pig," Hermione muttered, turning back to her breakfast like nothing had interrupted it.

Harry shook his head, chuckling to himself. He was about to take a look at his schedule, but his attention was diverted by the abrupt sound of the doors slamming open.

Draco Malfoy came running in, looking flustered, out of breath, and over all undignified, contrary to his usual appearance. If that wasn't strange enough about him, half of his blond hair was braided back in small cornrows, while the other half remained in its usual slicked back fashion.

Veronica soon came in trotting after him, the booming voice of the Giant posing as the unofficial doorman following her. It seemed she had gotten over her initial disliking of her new House. She was decked out in Slyterin pride, sporting green and silver necklaces, hoop earrings, and bracelets. She shuffled towards Malfoy in her pale green open toed six inch cone heels with the clear two-inch platforms, calling for him to "Slow his narrow butt down!"

Malfoy whirled around, staring at Veronica as if she raving lunatic, "You keep away from me you vile woman! Don't take another step!"

Veronica stopped. "Wait, don't you want me to finish braiding yo hair first?" she asked, twirling a comb she had obviously been using before listlessly.

"NO!" Malfoy all but roared. "It was just fine before you came along, now look at it!" He furiously tugged at a braid from the top, only making it tighter and harder to undo. "You ruined it!"

"I ruined it?" she said with blatant surprise, pointing the comb at herself. "Boy you must be trippin'! Before, yo hair looked like someone slapped some snot and elbow grease on your head and slicked it back."

Veronica made a face, as if the memory of Malfoy's previous style made her want to vomit. All the while Malfoy just gaped at her, indignant shock written all over his face. Apparently he hadn't been spoken to in such a way since…well…ever.

"Now you look so cute. You'd have to be stupid not to know that," she said sweetly. She took a step forward, "So let me just – "

"Stay back!" he shouted again frantically. "Take one more step and I'll…" Malfoy paused, about to threaten her with a curse but changing his mind once seeing that most of the teachers were settled at the Head table. They weren't paying attention now, but he didn't want to change that by sprouting off Dark curses. Instead, he took his hand out of his robe pocket and stared at Veronica haughtily. "I – I won't be held responsible for taking defensive actions."

"Fine then," Veronica said flippantly, "be ugly. But don't come cryin' back to me when you suddenly decide you want to look cute again."

Malfoy growled in his throat, then stalked off to the Slytherin table. It seemed that Veronica would have followed suit, but stopped when she looked over at the snickering Gryffindor table.

"Oh no." Harry tried to leave his seat, but Veronica was a lot faster in those high-healed shoes then he gave credit for. The next thing he knew, an unwelcome weight had settled itself onto his lap and began to chow down on the food nearest to her.

All laughter at the table ceased. Never in their Hogwarts years had they seen any other House members, Slytherin in particular, situate there selves at their own table, let alone on top of the Boy-Who-Lived. It was a slap in the face for all those who were adamant about the House rivalries, and just plain annoying to the ones who had started affection towards Harry.

"Hey Harry, boo," Veronica said after swallowing some sausage. "Have a good nights sleep?"

"Yes," he said with a resigned sigh. "Seriously, Veronica. Must you sit on me?"

"What, are you uncomfortable?"

Harry nodded his head, hope of finally getting her to understand shining in his eyes.

"Too bad." Harry was about to continue his argument, but Veronica ignored him. "Hey, can one of ya'll pass the jam?"

No one responded for a moment, then from down the table, a jar came flying towards her.

"Here you go Miss," Fred's voice called into the silence, amusement in his voice.

"Some jelly for the lovely lady," George added.

Harry glared down at them. How could they go along with this? What happened to Quidditch team companion ship?

"Thank you sweetie!" Veronica spread the jelly on her toast. "Nice to see some folks got some tact," she said quietly.

"Veronica, could you please get off me now?" Harry said through gritted teeth.

"Why would I wanna do that snuggy poo? It's so comfy here."

Harry groaned. 'Snuggy poo!' Where did she come up with this stuff? He looked to Ron and Hermione for help, but they truly seemed just as amused about this as Fred and George did. "Come on, don't you want to go sit with your other friends?" he practically begged.

"No," she said simply. "I can talk to them any time. You, on the other hand, are going to be in several different classes then me, not to mention you have to sleep in a room with that gold diggin' hefa Carmen." She smiled, as all Harry could do was fume at her. Seeing his schedule unguarded in his hand, she plucked it away from him and pulled out her own to compare.

"Hey!" Harry cried indignantly.

"Here baby, have a muffin." Any more protests were halted, as said large blueberry muffin was stuffed into his mouth. Harry growled, curses muffled, and Veronica merely continued. "Oooh, we got double Potions together!" she exclaimed happily. "Aw, but it starts tomorrow."

Harry spat out the muffin, glaring daggers at Veronica, "Oh, pity."

"But we got Charms together today!" she said, misinterpreting his sarcasm. "Isn't that great?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "Oh great. Just lovely, ho, ho."

The bell rang. The Gryffindors were knocked out of their shocked stupor, remembering that there were more important things then an odd Slytherin at their table, and headed for their respective classes. Harry made to move as well, but it seemed that Veronica wasn't in as much of a hurry to leave as he was.

"Ah screw it," he said under his breath. He easily scooped Veronica in his arms, causing her to squeal in surprise. He placed her back in his seat, gave her a nod, and then headed after Ron and Hermione.

"What's up with you and that girl Harry, really?" Ron asked when Harry caught up.

He shrugged, "She's just like Carmen. Crazy."

"Why don't you just tell them you're not interested?" said Hermione.

"I do! But they don't listen to me." He sighed, "What am I going to do?"

"Don't know what to say about that mate."

"Hermione?" Harry asked helplessly.

Hermione only shrugged as well, "Sorry Harry. I'm at a loss…but I'm sure I'll think of something later!" she added, seeing Harry's put out look.

Their first class for the day was P.E. It was on the Third floor and down a corridor none of the three had ventured before, possibly because it was just recently added (or just appeared, as most things in Hogwarts did). They entered the classroom, already filled with fifth year Slytherin's and Gryffindor's. Harry was glad to see that Carmen didn't appear to have this period with him.

There weren't any chairs in the class, the room being taken up by familiar and bizarre looking exercise machines. The three settled for leaning against the wall.

"Now this is my type of class," said Ron. "No book work! Plus we got a teacher who we're in good graces with. You think you could get your Godfather to heckle Malfoy and the Slytherin's a little Harry?"

Harry shrugged. He was starting to get a really uneasy feeling in his stomach. His past experiences with Physical Education classes were never pleasant for him, on the most part just plain embarrassing.

"He wont if he wants Siri – I mean, Professor Black, to make a good impression," said Hermione.

"Forget impressions!" Ron exclaimed, exasperated. "I just want to see Malfoy get points taken off for no reason for once. And don't deny that you don't too 'Mione."

Hermione was saved a response, for at that moment Sirius decided to enter the class. He wasn't in his teacher's robes like last night. Instead, he had on a gray sweat suit with a small patch of the Hogwarts crest sewn on the upper left side of his chest, and black and white sneakers.

"Morning class," Sirius said cheerfully, despite all the weary looks he received from the students. Innocent convict or not it was still going to take some time to earn the publics trust. "In case no one was listening during the Welcoming feast – 'cause I usually don't – I'm Professor Black."

"Good morning Professor Black," the class mumbled in monotonous union.

Sirius' eyebrows rose, taking in all of the droopy eyes and occasional yawn. "Hmm, not morning people huh? S'okay, by the end of the period I'll fix that." He looked down at his clipboard, "All-righty. I'm going to call role first, then I'll let you guys get dressed so we can go over what we're going to do throughout each quarter…

"Thomas, Dean?"

"Here."

"Finnigan, Seamus?"

"Here."

"Weasley, Ron."

"Right here."

"Um, Patil…Parvati is it?" Sirius asked, glancing up uncertainly at her.

Parvati nodded, "Yeah, that's right."

"Malfoy, Draco?"

"Here," the blonde drawled, now decidedly cornrow free.

"Longbottom, Neville?"

"H-h-here."

And on it went. When he checked off the last name, he tucked the clipboard under his arm. "Okay. Over there are the girls and boys dressing rooms." He pointed to two separate doors behind him. "Your clothes are already in the locker with your name on it. So, get the gettin' so we can hurry and get started."

A few of the students paused at the doors, looking around in confusion.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked when he noticed no one going in.

"Um, Professor Black sir," a Slytherin boy spoke, "where's the Slytherin boy's dressing room?" Several of the others repeated the question as one.

"Yeah, and the girls too."

Sirius blinked at them in confusion, "There aren't any," he said slowly. "You guys are sharing."

"What? You mean we have to dress in the same room as Gryffindors?" Pansy Parkinson exclaimed in disgust, "That's – that's…"

"Just nauseating," Malfoy finished for her. "There is absolutely no way I'm going in the same room as Weasel, the little pauper might get dirt all over us."

Crabbe and Goyle snickered on cue as usual, the other Slytherins joining in. Ron was quickly turning the shade of his hair while his body trembled in anger. Harry exchanged a look with Hermione and they both prepared to hold their friend back.

"Shut it Ferret face. I wouldn't want to be in the same room as the Slytherin's either, they might curse us the moment our backs are turned!"

After that remark things started to go down hill. The two Houses spat obscenities at each other until their voices were a mix of loud nonsense. Harry looked over at Sirius to see him rolling his eyes to the ceiling, an impatient expression on his face. Fed up, the newly appointed Professor put two fingers to his mouth and let out an ear-piercing whistle. Everyone quieted instantly.

"Weasley, five points from Gryffindor. Malfoy, twenty points from Slytherin."

"What?" Ron and Malfoy said at the same time.

"That's not fair, how come I get more points taken off?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows, "Because you started it," he said as if it were obvious to the world.

"But – "

He waved his index finger at him, "Ah, ah, ah! Say something else and it'll be fifty. Now, everybody get to changing before I take points off from everyone. Wait! Scratch that," he said quickly after the immediate protests, "why don't you go one at a time then? Is that okay?"

Everyone nodded their assent. Lavander started to go but Pansy held her back.

"Just wait one minute there. Slytherin's are going first."

"No, the Gryffindor's are. So back off," Parvati said vehemently.

And once again, the room was plunged into argument.

"This has got to be terrible on Sirius," Hermione said to Harry, one of the only ones who hadn't joined in the fight. "All this fighting, and on his first day too!"

"I know," Harry sighed. He saw his Godfather shaking his head in frustration out of the corner of his eye, banging the clipboard against his head.

"What are we going to do Harry? We wont get anywhere if things keep going along like this."

"Hold that thought 'Mione." Harry crossed over to Sirius, who had stopped banging his head and substituted it for putting his hand in it. He tapped him on the shoulder. Sirius looked up at him with hopeless pale blue eyes.

Harry gave him a reassuring smile, "I have an idea." He whispered into his ear and immediately Sirius' face lit up.

"Everybody listen up!" Sirius called for there attention. Several minutes later and the kids quieted down. "All right, can I get one Gryffindor and one Slytherin up here please?"

After a few seconds of quick decision Dean and Malfoy headed his call. "Here's what we're going to do; one game of Dragon, Beans, Quills. Winner gets to go first."

"This is so stupid," Malfoy muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Can you think of something else Mr. Malfoy?"

"Actually – "

"Don't care! Shat up! Play the damn game!" he snapped.

The two teens put there fists in and played. In the end, Dean came out the victor.

"Okay, now we're in business," Sirius said, clapping his hands together. "Gryffindor's first today, and we'll alternate every day from there on."

The Gryffindor's marched in happily, a few making faces at the sulky Slytherin's like a bunch of five year olds. When the Slytherin's finished their turn, Sirius motioned everyone to stand against the wall while he gave his introduction.

"Now I know what you all are thinking. That fitness has nothing to do with magic right?" Most everyone nodded. "Well it does. Your health has a lot to do with how efficient your magic works. If you're overweight to the point where you wheeze every time you breathe, then any spells you use are going to come out wacky…especially if you're out of breath after every word.

"I'm not saying that's the case for everyone," he said when he saw Hermione suddenly raise her hand, most likely to contradict his words. "But statistics are usually in favor of those who are in a comfortable position with their weight. Everyone's different though, so a healthy size for one person depends on how you're built. The same goes for people who are too skinny. Now like I said before, you can just be naturally a thin person, but you all know when it's natural and when you're just anorexic. And when you hit that level, you're magic is not going to work to its potential…statistics, Ms. Granger," he added. Hermione quickly put her hand down again, flushing a light shade.

"I'm sure some of you are quite comfortable with the size you are now, and that there are some of you who think they can stand to shed a few pounds, or build up some muscle strength. For those who feel good where they are now, you have to remember that this is the age where most of you stop growing and your metabolism isn't going to be working as fast, so all that junk food you've been scarfin' down, I promise you, will catch up to you in a couple of years if you don't keep yourself in check.

"Now, the goal is going to be for you to make what we do in here a habit, so that by the end of this year you can workout on your own without my…how shall I put this…enforcement!" He grinned at the nervous looks he was receiving. "Through out the year we're going to be using the machines you see over there, and various other physical activities too, like push ups and sit ups, running, and Quidditch every once in awhile. All not in that exact order.

"Any questions? Yes, Mr. Thomas!"

"Does how strong you are affect your magic?"

"No, not exactly. It'll keep you at your original level, but it won't increase any…yes Ms. Granger?"

"What about mentality?"

"Only to a certain point. There are ways to surpass your own magical capabilities, has to do with breaking barriers and the Three levels of magic, but that's a different topic all together. Um, yes...Mr. Finnigan?"

"Don't they have potions to help you loose weight?"

"Can't be. Otherwise Longbottom would've been using it a long time ago," Malfoy drawled, evicting poorly hidden snickers from Slytherin's. Neville flushed, ducking his head in embarrassment. The Gryffindor's seethed, not so much angered that Neville had been made fun of, but because he was apart of their group (aside from Hermione, who always felt sorry for Neville). And Harry, who also didn't appreciate much of Malfoy's Neville abuse, was thinking that it wasn't hard for the Slytherin boy to keep up his appearances. 'Wish I had his aspect of deceit.'

Sirius sighed, throwing a sympathetic glance at Neville before saying, "Forty-five points from Slytherin."

Malfoy's eyes widened, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water. "You-you can't do that!"

"Can. Just did."

"For what?"

Sirius folded his arms across his chest, staring down the pompous child. "For being a smart ass."

"What? But that's not – "

" – Fair?" Sirius finished for him. "Let's take twenty more then. Oh, and before you ask, that's for being alive."

The Gryffindor's snickered this time, while all of the Slytherins glared daggers at Sirius, trying to do their damnedest to bore a whole in the teachers head. "Go ahead and say something else, I'm just starting to get power hungry."

Malfoy stayed silent. "All right, if you're sure you're done. Anyways, back to Mr. Finnigan's question. There are potions that can control your weight. But altering your body with magic always comes with a price. Polyjuice Potion, for example, can turn you into any person you wanna be with the right ingredients, the problem with that is you can only have that person's identity for an hour or two. The same goes for dieting potions, you'll be as skinny as a super model for a good day then BAM! Right back to fat ass express!

"Any more questions…Okay, let's get to the first lesson today. Everybody come this way."

He led them over to an odd looking contraption. It was a silver pole with a large burgundy box that seemed to be made out of punching bag material sticking on top of it. On top of that was a smaller, rectangular box, with five digital zeros on it.

"This bad boy here is called the Strength – O – Meter." He patted it fondly, "As you may have figured by the name, this piece of work measures your strength so we can see how much you can handle in this class and how much you'll probably need to work on. We'll be using this at the end of every quarter, so if you slack, I'm not just going to know, but everyone else is too.

"For the lady's, the highest is five fifty, lowest is in the one hundreds, and average is three hundred through four fifty. For the guy's the highest is in the nine hundreds, lowest in the five hundreds, and average is six hundred through seven fifty.

"Everybody got that?" Nods answered, some rather enthusiastic. "Okay, ladies, line up. You're going first."

The girls, Gryffindor and Slytherin, lined up in front of the Strength – O – Meter, while the boys and Sirius moved to the side. Parvati was first. She approached it wearily, staring at the machine with some confusion.

"Um, Sir. What do I do?"

"Just give it a good punch, as hard as you can!"

Parvati bit her lip. "Punch…It?" She looked at her perfectly manicured nails and back up at the contraption with apprehension. "Professor, I don't know if I can…"

"Ah quit being such a pans and hit the bloody thing!" a Slytherin girl said impatiently. Several other Slytherins and a Gryffindor or two piped their agreement. Parvati merely hmphed and folded her arms together defiantly.

"Hold on now, its okay if she doesn't want to get her nails messed up. Here…" Sirius pulled out his wand and impressed the class by transfiguring a piece of his parchment into a pair of red boxing gloves. "There you go, try these."

Parvati stared at the proffered gloves with some distaste. "But these don't match my outfit." She indicated to her very pink sweat suit.

Sirius gave her a look, "Ms. Patil, come on now…" he said, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice.

"Okay, fine." She slipped them on, then punched the cushion with as much passion as she would have squeezing bubbertuber pus. The numbers on the smaller box whizzed up and down. A ding sounded, and the numbers stopped at one hundred and sixteen.

"Okay, not bad," Sirius consoled the now down trodden Parvati, marking down her score. "You'll just have to work that up a bit. Next in line."

Lavander Brown went, but didn't get much higher then Parvati. Pansy Parkinson went after her and got a little above average with four hundred and seventy. After her, no one went above average, except for Hermione, who got four hundred and sixty-five.

"All right guys, you're up."

The guys took the place of the girls, flexing muscles and, men being men, (well more like adolescents boys) making bets that they would get a higher score then the other. Everyone except for one. Harry quietly made his way to the end of the line. He was having this horrible image of himself suddenly going Incredible Hulk on everybody and ripping the defenseless contraption to shreds. No one had spoken much of the news of the Daily Prophet today, which was quite a surprise, and in case such news had slipped their minds for the time being, he didn't want to start an incident that would serve as a reminder.

"Next!"

Harry saw Crabbe go up. He grunted as his beefy fist connected with the cushion. The numbers whizzed crazily for a while before the box dinged. The class "Ooohed" and "Ahhed" simultaneously as the numbers landed on a whopping nine hundred and ninety nine. The bulky Slytherin flexed his meaty arms, muscles bulging unnaturally. Harry examined his own weight status, and while he was lightly muscled – emphasis on lightly –, his sweat suit gave the impression that he was quite on the scrawny side. Not to mention everyone in the class was taller then him…including most of the girls.

Oh wouldn't that look normal if he of all people ended up getting over nine hundred.

'No problem,' he thought, trying to convince himself, 'just have to get a lower score then Crabbe and no one will think a thing of it.'

"Whoooooa!" all the boys suddenly cheered. Goyle had just finished his turn, surpassing Crabbe with one thousand and one.

Harry groaned, the clenching in his stomach tightening ever more. 'And him too, definitely get lower then him.'

"Next!"

Neville balled up his trembling fist, approaching the Stregnth – O – Meter as if it were going to strike him back if he even attempted to hit it. A tentative punch later and Neville had his results.

"Ha! Longbottom couldn't even get a decent average for the girls!"

Several of the other students broke into mocking laughter as well. Neville looked at his results despondently, which read ninety-eight. He slumped his shoulders and looked down at his shoes as he made to step off to the side, but Sirius stopped him. He bent down to his level and said something in low tones. Neville shook his head and said something back. Whatever he said Sirius must have agreed to it, because he nodded and said reassuringly in a whisper, "We'll try again at lunch."

Ron went up, and got a nice high average of seven hundred and sixty five. Malfoy gave him a smug look as he passed, saying deliberately loud enough for everyone in line to hear, "Honestly Weasel, my great-great grandmother could get a higher score then that, and she has arthritis."

"Let's see you go then ferret – wait, maybe you might want to put on those gloves. Wouldn't want to break a nail would you?"

Malfoy bristled indignantly, for he did give off a primly appearance.

"They do help too," Parvati joined in, giggling along with Lavender. "Would you like to use them?"

"Get those away from me wench!" Malfoy growled. He stomped up to the machine until he was at the proper distance. His heightened anger however, did not help to increase his score.

"Seven hundred and sixty four?" he shouted his results incredulously. "Impossible, how can I get lower then Weasel?"

"I think all that spoiled brat – excuse me – high maintenance, upper class life style has made you…soft around the edges Malfoy," Ron said gleefully, glad that he could finally attack on one of his faults.

"Hardly, the thing must simply be broken. I want to try again."

Sirius, who couldn't believe this exchange was still going on, growled out in exasperation, "Malfoy, have you lost your mind? I already wrote down your score. You can try again next quarter."

Malfoy looked at him in horror. Apparently next quarter was far to long for the Slytherin's taste. "But I have to go again! I can't get lower then Weasel, it just doesn't happen!"

"Bugger that bullsh – " Sirius cut himself off with a deep breath, remembering that he was now a professor and couldn't use his colorful vocabulary at his leisure anymore. "Just get your narrow self in the back of the line…before I hurt you." No one said anything about him using blatant threats though…out loud at least.

Malfoy looked like he was about to argue again, but his fellow housemates were starting to realize that Professor Black was not a new teacher to test with. So, in fear of losing more points, the Slytherin's hissed at him to assent to Sirius' orders.

"Next!"

The rest of the boy's scores varied. Some ran high to the eight hundreds and some went as low as four hundred, but no one scored as low as Neville or as high as Goyle.

Now it was Harry's turn. He took a silent deep breath, positioned himself near the machine, raised his gloved fists at the ready and…

…stood stock still in that same position for almost five minutes.

"Any day now Potter," Malfoy called, earning a few good chuckles. "It's not going to bite you, though I wish it – "

"Malfoy!" Sirius snapped, "Shut your speak hole or I'll take points and give you detention cleaning the urinals for a month!" Malfoy now sufficiently silenced and embarrassed, Sirius turned to Harry, "S'all right Har – er, Mr. Potter. Take your time."

Harry nodded reluctantly. He had vainly hoped that Sirius and Malfoy's dispute would go on longer and drag out until class was over. But despite Malfoy's best attempt to burn a hole in Sirius' head with his eyes alone, his lips were firmly sealed. 'Come on Potter, all you have to do is tap it, just a soft tap. Sure, they'll probably laugh there asses off at me but its better then pointing and staring.'

Slightly confident now, Harry reeled his right fist back and slowly thrust it forward, tapping the cushion as lightly as possible.

BAM!

The pole of the Strength – O – Meter snapped from the base upon Harry's fist unintentional powerful impact, and flew back across the room. It crashed into the stone wall with an explosion of dust and bits and pieces of the machine. When all cleared, all that remained of the Strength – O – Meter was some stuffing and a mangled form of what it once was.

The whole class and Sirius stared at the mess, mouths open, eyes wide, and shock clearly written on all of their faces.

Harry was staring in some surprise along with them, before fear and finally anxiety took over as his dominant expression. His arm was still outstretched where he had caused the catastrophe. He pulled it back, and sheepishly scratched the back of his head, a strangled laugh escaping into the broad silence. "Erm…whoops? Sorry about that…heh…"

Everyone slowly turned there heads to the small Gryffindor, still gaping and still looking astonished out of there minds. Oh yeah, pointing and laughing would have been much better.

Sirius cleared his throat, giving his head a little shake. His mouth opened and closed a few times, before he finally said, "I…I think that ranges over a thousand or so." He nodded to himself as if for reassurance, and scribbled something on his parchment with a slightly shaky hand. "Okay…well…we only have five minutes of class left so…why don't you go on and get dressed…"

The students quietly complied. When they emerged redressed in their robes, they were still all as silent as church mice, some even still openly staring at Harry. The bell rang, and the spell of silence was instantly broken. Gryffindor's and Slytherin's alike broke into feverish whispers as they gathered their things, all of them obviously talking of the strange occurrence that had taken place.

"Class dismissed – no homework since this is P.E.!" Sirius called over the buzzing of teenage chatter. "Mr. Potter, could you stay after a moment."

Harry dropped the bag he had slung over his shoulder, signaling for his friends to go on without him.

"We'll uh…see you in Transfiguration class Harry," Hermione said faintly, a look of bemusement still on her face.

"Erm…ditto," Ron said with a matching expression, and left the classroom.

"Sirius," Harry called to his Godfather slowly when the class was empty of all but them.

"I know what you're thinking, so cut it out 'cause it's not true," he said accusingly.

Sirius pretended to ignore him, instead putting his concentration on fixing the Strength – O – Meter. "Why Harry," he finally said, floating pieces of the machine and reassembling them in the air with his wand, "what ever do you mean?"

Despite the innocent and nonchalant tone, Harry growled in annoyance. "I know what you're thinking because it's what everyone else is thinking and you should stop thinking those thoughts right now because that is not the right thinking you should think!"

Sirius glanced at him from the corner of his eye, an amused grin on his face. "That was quite a mouthful." He chuckled when Harry glared at him. "So, what am I thinking then?"

"THAT I'M ON DRUGS!" Harry exploded. He quickly covered his mouth, eyes wide and looking about wildly as his voice bounced off the walls. The words "on drugs" continued to reverberate distantly until it faded into nothing, leaving an awkward silence in its wake.

"You said it, not me."

"Siriussssss!" Harry whined, stepping closer to his Godfather. "Please! You have to believe me!" He clamped onto his arm when he didn't look at him, giving him the saddest and cutest damn puppy dog eyes he could muster in his miniature form. "Please Siri, pretty please…Siri-kins…Siri-weery…Padfoot, Paddy-waddy-wiggy-kinsy – "

"Okay, okay, stop it!" Sirius shouted between laughs, unable to resist looking into the emerald eyed cuteness. "All right, I do believe that…" he paused, sighing deeply, "…you're not on drugs, but…I think you're holding out on me kiddo."

Harry let go of Sirius' arm, backing away with a nervous grin, "Moi, hide something from you? That's laughable! I think I'll do that right now…ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

More pieces from the Strength – O – Meter swirled about in a tornado of parts, trying to find a way to connect back to each other. Sirius narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously. "Oh yeah? Well how do explain that skippy?" he said, pointing to the dismantled, floating machine.

"Er…lots of roughage?"

Sirius gave him a once over, looked over at the Strength – O – Meter, then at the chipped and dented wall. "Sorry Har', but no amount of roughage could possibly help you cause that."

"Hasn't anyone told you size doesn't matter?"

"No, but apparently it doesn't when it comes to you." The Strength – O – Meter finally reassembled, Sirius lowered it to the ground and with a flick of his wand, embedded it securely into the wooden floor. He sat down on a weight bench and patted a space for Harry to join him. "If you are truly being honest with me when you say you have absolutely no idea how you came about with these…powers, could you promise me one thing?"

"Sure, what is it?"

Sirius placed a hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eye, "Promise that if you can't keep control of this that you'll come to me or Remus or Professor Dumbledore about it. For the sake of yourself and any of the student body, I'd hate to see anyone on the receiving end of one of those punches."

Harry laughed a little at the last remark. He nodded his head with all the earnestness he could muster and with all the intention of never fulfilling it, "I promise Sir'."

"That's a good boy." Sirius thumped him on the back, "So, Mr. muscle munchskin, how'd you think ol' Padfoot did on his first day as a Professor?"

"You did pretty well."

Sirius eyed him wearily, "You really think so? Or are you just saying that to make me feel better."

"No, no, no! You really did fine. Especially since it was double Slytherin and Gryffindor fifth years…that's a death penalty for a new teacher. If it were me, I probably would've been fired already from hexing so many students at one time."

"If it were you, we'd probably be picking pieces of them off the ground," he muttered. Harry heard, and would've extracted vengeance if Sirius hadn't put an affectionate arm around his shoulder in a one armed hug and swiftly changed the subject. "You really helped me out there earlier, you know that? I don't know what I'm going to do without you the rest of the day."

"I'm sure you'll do fine. Now that you know what you're up against, it should be a piece of pie."

"Oh man, you have no idea how many times I just wanted to punch one of those kids in the face! How the hell did Moony handle them so well on his first day?" he growled, earning a laugh from Harry.

"Well, he does sort of have a knack for teaching."

Sirius stared off, shaking his head in bemusement, "Was I that much of an asshole when I was a kid?"

"Probably more so," Harry said with nonchalant conviction.

Sirius gave him a pointed glare in return, "With those kinds of remarks, you are very liable to be getting disowned."

They both laughed. "So how's your first day been so far?"

Harry shrugged, "Eh, it's been alright. Except for these two crazy girls who keep bugging me."

Sirius' eyebrows rose in curiosity, "Girls?"

"Yeah. You wouldn't believe what one of them tried to do to me this morning," Harry said, his earlier frustrations with Carmen and Veronica's irritating persistence spilling out in a much needed rant. "There I am, minding my own business asleep in the dormitory, and suddenly I wake up and she's all on top of me like that's something normal for people who have just met – "

"Wait, she was in the boy's room?" Sirius interrupted, with what looked like a mix between surprise and horror on his face. "Were you two alone and…SHE WAS ON TOP OF YOU?"

Harry cocked his head, blinking at him in confusion. What on earth was Sirius so worked up about? "Well, she wasn't on top of me when I woke up; she moved the tray of food out of the way and then sort of jumped on my bed…" he trailed off of his sentence. Sirius' eyes had widened several sizes too big, and for someone who had large eyes themselves, that was saying something. He also seemed to be suppressing himself from hyperventilating, but was failing at it miserably. Was it something he said? "Sirius, are you okay?"

"Harry," Sirius said slowly, his voice wavering, "Do we need to have…The Talk?"

Harry stared at him incomprehensively. "What talk?"

"You know. The. Talk." At Harry's blank look he elaborated more, "The talk about Quills and Inkwells?"

He merely blinked, shaking his head. Though he had to admit, the term sounded slightly familiar. Like something Uncle Vernon had said to Dudley before, but he couldn't quite place it. "Sorry, I'm not following."

Sirius looked extremely panicked at this, "Oh boy." He patted Harry on the head and smiled wearily, "Erm, we'll discuss it some other time then."

"Hmm?" He sputtered out, feeling even more confused. He gave up on pursuing the subject, as he looked at his watch and gasped a little at the time. "Ooh, I need to get to Transfiguration! Is there anything else you wanted to tell me," he said, even as he started to gather his bag.

"No – wait! Yes I do. I wanted to tell you where me and Moony's office slash rooms were."

Harry raised his eyebrows, "You and Remus are sharing?"

Sirius nodded, a look of irritation appearing on his features, "Yeah. That one new teacher – Cunningham or something – got the last rooms so we got stuck together."

Harry fumbled with his bag at hearing his enemy's name. He covered it with a fake stumble and smiled sheepishly at Sirius. "Really?" he said, trying to sound indifferent when on the inside he felt like ice cubes had been dropped into his stomach. "Where's his room at?"

"Cunningham?" Sirius said, blinking in surprise. "It's pretty secluded – really far down this corridor on the second floor. Why?"

Harry shrugged, "He's the new defense teacher isn't he? It'd be good to know where he is in case I need help." He resisted the urge to grimace at his own words. 'Yeah,' his mind mocked, 'if I need help on how to get killed.'

"Ah, I see. Well anyway, now that I think about it, our arrangement isn't so bad. We're pretty close to Gryffindor tower. Just take the left corridor and go straight. There should be a dead end with a single portrait hung up there. Password's doggie biscuit." Sirius rolled his eyes, "Remus thought of it before I could say anything. Smart ass git, I'll get him back next month with the new password."

Harry hesitated, shuffling his feet nervously as he debated on what he was going to say next, "Is it – is it really okay that I come and visit you guys?"

"Of course!" Sirius crossed over to him and ruffled his hair warmly. "At any time, day or night! I need someone else to bother when I get bored, Remus can provide only so much entertainment for so long."

"Right," Harry chuckled. "But doesn't that mean you'll have to take off points if I'm out after curfew?"

"Only if you're not going to my room. And speaking of curfew," he added, going into parental serious mode, "I don't want you to think you're an exception about Dumbledore's time arrangement. Its for your own safety, so no more late night adventures with Ron and Hermione and no more solving evil mystery's that don't concern you – or even if they do concern you – this year round, got that Sherlock?"

Harry rolled his eyes, giving his 'I know this stuff already because I've been told it about a hundred times so I'm sighing in exasperation' sigh, and nodded his head like a good little teenager. He felt horrible doing this, seeing as how he had already made plans to venture out of Hogwarts past curfew, and was in the process of solving a mystery that involved an extremely evil entity.

"Good. And one more thing before you leave." He ripped out a rumpled piece of parchment that had been clipped on his clipboard. When he handed it to Harry, he tapped his wand on it and chanted nine words that Harry thought he would never hear again, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

"The Marauders map!" Harry exclaimed. He gleefully watched as the familiar schematic of Hogwarts appeared on the parchment, and all of the little dots with names under them move about it. "How did you get this – ?"

"All will be explained in do time," Sirius said, as he started to usher Harry through the door. "Now get to class before McGonagall skins you alive for being late." Then he added, when he thought Harry hadn't heard him, "And I'll probably be there right along with you."

Thanks to Harry's quick speed, he arrived in Transfiguration five minutes into the lesson – as McGonagall so dutifully reminded him upon entering. It being the same class of Gryffindor's that had just finished P.E., several pairs of eyes followed him as he took a seat between Ron and Hermione.

"Ahem!" McGonagall cleared her throat, getting her classes attention back on her. "If it is all right for me to continue?"

"What are we doing?" Harry whispered to Ron when McGonagall continued with her lesson.

He raised a curious eyebrow when Ron jumped slightly in his seat when he addressed him. He was even more surprised at Ron's jumbled reply, "We were uh – we were just going over animagus tran-tran-transformations. We're going to uh – to find out our inner animal sometime this quarter."

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. During the entire explanation Ron hadn't looked him in the eye once, and was steadily scooting an inch away from him. "Ron, are you all right?"

"Mr. Potter!" McGonagall snapped suddenly. "For someone who has the audacity to come in late you certainly have a lot to say. Care to share your dialog with the class?"

"No Professor," Harry said, ducking his head sheepishly. Satisfied with that, McGonagall went on talking about the dangers of changing from human form into an animal's. Harry found it hard to pay much attention though. He glanced back over at his friend, extremely confused at his actions.

Class finally came to an end. Harry was about to question Ron's odd behavior, but both he and Hermione didn't wait for him to finish packing and quickly left the room with out him.

Harry gaped at their retreating forms. "Hey guys, wait a minute!" They ignored him and kept going. A small pang of hurt made its way into his heart, before he quickly pushed it away and hurriedly shoved his stuff in his bag. He dashed out of the classroom, and, self conscious of his speed, caught up to his friends. He called for them wait for him, but they only increased their pace. Feeling quite annoyed by this, Harry covered the space left between them with several long strides, and grabbed Ron by the shoulder.

The taller boy whirled around in surprise, eyes wide with…was that fear?

Harry withdrew his hand as if it were burned. He'd seen a lot of expressions on his friends face aimed at him, but he hadn't seen one like that since the first time he found out he was a Parselmouth in his Second year.

"Ron, Hermione," he said, once finding his voice, "why are you running away from me like I'm the bloody plague?"

"Nothing, it's nothing." He avoided his eyes again, and then said, "We're just…a little spooked."

Harry blinked, "Spooked? Why would you be – oh God…" He took a step back, the realization finally dawning on him. "You guys must think I'm a freak, don't you?"

"Well, it's not everyday someone destroys something with just a tap!" Ron defended frantically. He looked like he was struggling with weather he should be angry with him or try and keep from angering him.

"You know what? This is ridiculous," Hermione intervened, moving away from Ron and standing beside Harry. "If Harry's going to be abnormally strong – (Harry winced) – I'm sure he's going to tell us how it happened. Right Harry?"

"Erm, what if I don't know why exactly?"

Hermione patted him on the arm reassuringly, "That's easy. We'll just have to do some research until we find out what's caused this." She eyed him critically, "Unless you know something we don't?"

Harry shook his head, "Not a clue."

Hermione turned to Ron, "You're in, of course?"

Ron sighed, "I suppose." He gave Harry an apologetic smile, "Sorry about giving you the cold shoulder mate, blame it on temporary insanity – but you have to admit, that was kind of freaky."

"I guess," Harry muttered, as they started walking to their next class.

"Don't worry Harry," said Hermione. "We're behind you one hundred percent."

Evidently, Veronica hadn't misinterpreted their class schedules as Harry had hoped. The first thing he saw upon entering was the fifth year Slytherin gesturing frantically at him to take a seat she had saved for him. During Harry's hesitation, another Slytherin took the spot. He quickly made his escape, ushering Ron and Hermione next to him in case Veronica decided to get up.

The lesson was nothing brand new. They were learning a more powerful version of the levitating spell.

"You all remember how important pronunciation is to this particular charm," Professor Flitwick said in his squeaky voice. "Well, pronunciation for this is especially important, since not only will it move larger objects, but also people and other living things." The small Professor hopped out of his chair and disappeared behind his desk. Seconds later, a cluster of smooth stones flew into the air. They zoomed across the room and landed on each of the student's desk.

Flitwick reappeared from behind his own desk, wand directing the remaining stones to the back row. "It's a little early to be levitating living creatures, so we'll start with these stones. Don't bother trying to pick them up, they're quite heavy."

Harry examined his stone. It was gray with little specks of white and about the grand size of his fist. Despite Flitwicks warning, Harry picked it up anyway. 'This isn't heavy at all,' he thought, bouncing it in his open palm.

"Oy! This thing ways a ton!" Dean suddenly exclaimed, as he and several other students tried to pry the stones off their desks. Unlike Harry's, the stones seemed to be stuck in there places with super glue.

"Six tons, actually," Flitwick chuckled. "Four ton's less than a bludger, and just about the same amount as an elephant."

Harry quickly put down the rock and frantically looked around to see if anyone noticed what he'd done. He definitely had enough of displaying his freakish strength for one day.

"…The hand movement for this spell is slightly similar," Flitwick started talking again, "but instead of the quick flick motion, you will do an arc and then the vertical flick downward. Everyone got that? Good!" The professor pointed to a stone left on his desk, "Now, I'm going to give an example. Pay strict attention and repeat after me: Levare Fortis!" The rock lifted off and hovered in the air. It wasn't an especially exciting sight since the shock of levitation and floating had long worn off since First year. "You can work in groups if you want, but it's not necessary," he said as he lowered the rock back on the table. "Be sure to let it float for only a moment or two, other wise you'll tire yourselves out."

"All right Ron, you remember what happened last time with this spell so pay close attention to what I'm doing," Hermione ordered, pointing her wand at her stone.

"Last time?" Ron sputtered. "What last time? I've practically mastered this spell!"

"Ha! Don't make me laugh. You almost took my eye out with your – your maniacal wand waving first year."

"Well that same maniacal wand waving saved you from a mountain troll!"

"Oh don't get started! And speaking of that, I still can't believe you chose to use a levitating charm of all things against a mountain troll. Not a curse, not even a hex, but a levitating charm!"

"Give me a break Mione', I was under pressure…!"

'God, they sound like a married couple!' He hoped he didn't act that way once he found a girlfriend. He felt eyes on him, and turned to see Veronica ignoring her partner (much to the other Slytherin's irritation) and blowing kisses in his direction. 'That is, if Carmen and Veronica don't put me off women forever.'

He turned back to his stone and pointed his wand at it uneasily. With the luck he'd been having today he was just as likely not to cause the stone to spontaneously combust, as Neville was likely to juggle rusty chainsaws without mutilating himself. 'Maybe I should just milk it through this lesson until I'm certain my magic's working properly.' So Harry proceeded to pretend to be participating, not doing the correct wand movements and muttering the spell incorrectly under his breath, just in case his Wandless magic decided to interfere too.

All seemed to be going well. He was making no progress on his spell what so ever, and that was just fine with him…

"No, no, no Mr. Potter! You're pronouncing it all wrong!"

Harry jumped in his seat at the direct address. If he hadn't known that there were wards around Hogwarts to prevent people from apparating in, he would've said that Flitwick had practically materialized in front of his desk.

"Here, let me show you one more time," said Flitwick. By now he had garnered the attention of the entire class, much to Harry's chagrin. The Professor waved his wand in the proper motions and Harry's stone levitated perfectly for him. "All right, now you try Mr. Potter."

Harry glanced at the clock on the far wall, only ten minutes left of class. He needed to stall for time. Some perfect deductive reasoning to put a pause to this current trial, which Harry prided himself in being able to do while on the spot and under pressure.

"Erm…you want me to do it right this moment?"

And then Harry remembered that he was never good at coming up with excuses when he was in a difficult situation. 'Must have been someone else.'

"Yes Mr. Potter, I mean right at this moment," he said, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice.

Harry laughed nervously, "Oh yes, of course you do! Um…" He pointed his wand at his rock, did the swish, arc, flick, asked for God to give him a break just this once, and said, "Levare Fortis!"

Nothing happened.

Flitwick blinked, Harry blinked, and he was pretty sure the rest of the class did too…as most people need to do so to keep there eye balls from drying out and getting crusty. But that's irrelevant. The point is, everyone was clearly expecting something to happen, weather it be the charm being performed correctly or backfiring in some form of destruction.

But nothing happened.

And no one was more surprised by this then Harry himself. It wasn't so much that nothing happened with the spell, but nothing happened period! His hands didn't burn; his wand didn't even catch fire out of nowhere.

Flitwick cleared his throat, "Well, not everyone can get it on their first try. You just need more practice – "

The bell rang, cutting off the Professor in mid sentence.

"I want a two foot paper on how stronger levitating charms can be better or worse then the basic levitating charm. Class dismissed!"

The trio left the class and headed for the Great Hall for lunch. Ron and Hermione continued their argument about the more useful hexes Ron could've used against the troll in their first year, while Harry only added his small comments when addressed. His mind wasn't really set on their disputes, not that it ever was or would be, he was still thinking about the results of his charm in class. He wasn't sure if he should be happy that nothing crazy happened or worried. 'What if my magic has stopped working because of the element development…thing…?' He desperately wanted to prove that thought wrong. He could always just skip lunch and practice a spell or two in the common rooms. Only problem was he didn't want Hermione and Ron around to witness this, and he was sure they would want to join him if he said anything.

By the time they reached the Entrance Hall, Harry had figured out an excuse to take abandonment. He was about to voice it, when a disturbance interrupted him. He could hear students giving out surprised cries from the first set of stairs. Said distressed children quickly pressed their selves against the railing as a giant black dog came racing down at top speed.

"It's the Grim!" someone shouted, pointing at the dog once it made it to the ground floor.

The dog skidded to a halt, looking around every which way franticly. Coming to some sort of decision, he ran to the door where the first years were taken to before they were sorted. The dog scratched at the door futilely for a few moments, then eventually came to the conclusion that he wasn't going to get it open with only its paws.

"What on earth is Sirius doing?" Ron asked, watching the dog pace back and forth in thought. He and Hermione both looked to Harry for an answer but he was just as dumbfounded by the situation as they were.

The great dog stopped and made eye contact with Harry before bounding over to the trio of Gryffindors. Several students near them gasped and backed away as far as possible, shouting things like "Bad luck." and "Get away from it you idiots, before you drop dead!"

The dog grabbed onto the sleeve of Harry's robes and started to pull him. 'Harry! Thank God…you have to help me before she kills me!' Sirius' voice sounded from the midnight colored animal.

"Wait Sirius! What's wrong?" Harry asked, confused at his Godfather's antics.

"How come you can talk now?"

"He's not talking Ron, he's using telepathy. All animagi have that ability as long as they train for it," Hermione said. "Right Sirius?"

'Whatever!' Sirius dragged Harry back to the door, Hermione and Ron in tow. 'Quick, open the door…I don't have thumbs!'

"Hold on a minute. Why don't you just change back?"

Sirius paced in his place impatiently, 'Bloody McGonagall put an unchanging spell on me. I'm stuck like this for thirty minutes.'

"Now why would Professor McGonagall do something like that?" Hermione asked suspiciously.

"BLACK!" The transfiguration teacher's angry voice thundered, shaking the very foundation of Hogwarts.

Sirius shifted his eyes nervously as everyone, including the students who had originally thought him a death omen, looked at him expectantly for an answer. 'Um, you wanna open that door now Harry? BEFORE I GET MAIMED!'

"Oh, right." Harry opened the door and Sirius quickly scrambled in.

'Thanks kid! You're a life saver,' Sirius called before Harry closed the door.

Seconds later, McGonagall came running down the stairs, looking as if she could spit fire. And everyone could see why she would want to. Her normal prestigious façade was utterly destroyed. Her green robes were replaced by a brightly colored tie-dye T-shirt that was blinking all the colors of the rainbow, and faded jeans with holes in the knees. Her usually tight and neat bun was undone, her black hair plaited into two braids, and she had a red bandanna wrapped around her hair.

And if that wasn't enough…

"The Camptown ladies sing this song, Doo-da, Doo-da. The Camptown racetrack's two miles long, Oh, de doo-da day…"

She was also singing old folk songs at random.

McGonagall slapped her hand over her mouth for a moment, then let it drop when she was sure a song wouldn't come out of her. She narrowed her eyes, giving all in the room a cold glare, as if daring them to say a word about her attire.

"Where is he?" she barked, making everyone jump back a foot. "Where is that – that mangy mutt?" She scanned the room until her gaze settled on a bemused Harry. "Potter!" She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him fervently, "Where is that mongrel of a godfather of yours? I know you know where he is – Oh Susanna! Don't you cry for me! I come from Alabama, with a banjo on my knee…"

She slapped her hand over her mouth again, not only to stop the singing but from what Harry could hear, a few choice curse words as well.

The Great Hall doors opened, suddenly, diverting McGonagall's and the stunned students attention. "What's all the ruckus in here?" said Remus, an apple in his hand.

"You!" McGonagall abandoned Harry and advanced on Lupin, pointing an accusing finger in his direction. "You were in on this!"

Remus, eyes wide in confusion upon seeing the Transfiguration teacher's appearance, put his hands in the air and started to back away slowly. "In on what?"

She angrily gestured at her outfit, "THIS!"

"Oh. Um Minerva, I assure you I had nothing to do – "

"Don't give me any of that!" she cut him off. "You and Black used to pull these kinds of pranks all the time, don't think for a second that I've forgotten."

"Sirius did this?" Remus asked, unsuccessfully hiding his surprise and sounding oddly mortified. "Who knew he could be so creative," he murmured.

"So you admit it!" McGonagall bounded on him, finger wagging at him threateningly. "I'd expect something like that from that immature little vagrant like Black, but you Lupin?"

"I admit confusion," he said coolly, calmly pushing McGonagall's finger out of his face so that he wouldn't be in her line of fire. "But if it's Sirius you want, outside would probably be the best place to look."

McGonagall studied his face, then turned on the heels of her tennis shoes and stomped towards the Great Oak doors that led outside. "Come along Lupin, you can help me."

Remus followed her, but hesitated in the doorway. Without warning, his straight façade fell and he doubled over, his face contorted in laughter but not a sound coming out of his mouth – most likely in fear that McGonagall would hear him. He glanced over his shoulder, looking at something beyond Harry and rolling his eyes, muttering, "There goes my lunch break."

"She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes – I'LL KILL YOU BLACK – she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes! She'll be comin' round the mountain, she'll be comin' round the mountain, she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes…!"

"YE THERE!" boomed a powerful voice from outside that Harry remembered belonged to the grumpy Giant he had met this morning. Apparently he changed his guarding post once in a while. "STOP ALL OF THAT HORRIBLE SINGING BEFORE YE MAKE ME DEAF!"

"Oh, do SHUT UP!" McGonagall's voice retorted in the distance.

When Harry could here no more of the Giant and McGonagall's arguing, he opened the door to the antechamber and let Sirius out.

'Wow, you'll never get a greater pal then good ol' Moony,' Sirius said fondly, sitting on his hind legs.

"That was quite a number you pulled on McGonagall Sir'," Harry said, finally letting out the laughter he had been holding in.

"That also wasn't very nice Professor Black," Hermione put in, giving a disapproving look that would've made her head of house weep with pride.

"That's the thing. Most things that aren't very nice are very funny, 'Mione."

Hermione rolled her eyes and swatted her boyfriend upside the head. "I just hope your little stunt doesn't affect Gryffindor's points any."

'I wouldn't worry about that. Any amount of points she takes I'll just give right back,' Sirius said flippantly, shrugging his shoulders the best way his dog body would allow. ''Tis the beauty of being a teacher.

'Well, I'm off to go find a way to get this damn spell offa me.'

"What are you going to do when McGonagall finds you?" Harry asked.

Sirius' floppy ears drooped slightly, 'Find a nice dark hole to cower in until she cools off and or forgets about the whole thing.'

"That could be a while Sir'."

'Mm, you're probably right.' A sudden mischievous grin appeared on his face, 'Unless…I pull an even more humiliating prank on her so she'll be forced to forget about this one!' He barked, wagging his tail from side to side in excitement. 'Padfoot, you extremely attractive genius!'

Ron slapped his forehead, Hermione gaped at him as if she were proved wrong that he couldn't possibly get any stupider, and Harry merely shook his head.

"Do you honestly think that'll work?"

Sirius looked at his godson thoughtfully for a moment. 'I imagine not, no. But, I'm going to do it anyway!' He nodded at the trio, 'See ya Harry. Ron, Hermione.' He turned around and trotted back upstairs, weaving past bemused students and occasionally slipping underneath legs. ''Scuse me…pardon…watch out…don't do drugs kids!' he would say, until his voice completely diminished to their ears when he rounded a corridor.

"Do crazy things like this happen here all the time?" A third year transfer student asked.

One of the Gryffindor seventh years put a supporting hand on the baffled third years shoulder, "Only on a Tuesday."

Harry looked to his friends and cleared his throat. He remembered his original plan… "Um, I think I'm gonna skip lunch today guys, I've got to go do something."

"Oh," said Ron. "Well we can come with you."

…unfortunately, he couldn't remember the excuse he had cooked up earlier. 'Time for plan B.' He started to back away from them, "No, no, that's okay. You guys go on and uh…eat lunch, yeah that's good. I'llseeyounextclassbye!" he said quickly, and ran off to Gryffindor tower before they could protest.

He slipped into the common rooms, and other then a few second and first years, he was happy to see that it was virtually empty. He went into his dormitory, and took his wand out of his pocket. 'Now, what spell to use?' The charm they just learned would probably be a good idea. He looked around the room for something heavy. He leveled his wand at his trunk, performing the wand movements Flitwick had taught him.

"Levare Fortis!"

Nothing.

"Levare Fortis!"

Still nothing.

"Levare Fortis, Levare Fortis, LEVEARE FORTIS Damnit!"

To reiterate…nothing.

"You've got to be kidding me!" he growled through clenched teeth. He placed his wand back in his pocket roughly, deciding on a new tactic. He stretched his wand arm out in front of him and pointed his palm in the direction of the trunk.

"Levare Fortis!"

His trunks reaction to the charm was immediate this time. It rose into the air, wobbly at first, then diagonal, directly above Neville's bed. It paused for a second, then continued its plight upward. When it was almost to the ceiling, Harry's arm and hand started to tremble violently, and the wound where he had been shot throbbed with a vengeance. Hissing in pain, he reflexively abandoned all concentration on his trunk in favor of cradling his injured limb.

Without his hand to steady the spell though, the charm broke and his trunk dropped.

Harry stared at the descending object dumbly for a moment, mouthing the words "Ho-ly crap!" before quickly leaping into action. He climbed up the tall bedpost as if he were a spider and perched on the top of it with one foot. He caught the trunk by the handle…with the hand that he used to levitate it with. His throbbing arm already starting to give out, he quickly swung the trunk in an arc, away from Neville's canopy.

Harry let out a strangled yell, before gravity took over and brought the trunk and Harry (still firmly attached to the large item) falling to the floor with an almighty crash. Dust circulated around the dorm from his impact, making him cough and sneeze painfully.

"Oh, ow," he moaned.

'Ow, indeed,' a humored voice said above him.

Harry narrowed his eyes at the grinning ginger cat standing above his spread-eagled form.

'And this is supposed to be the one chosen to save us all.' The cat sighed, shaking its nearly neckless head, 'Aw, how the mighty have fallen.'

"Ah, shat up you mangy cat," Harry snapped halfheartedly, grunting as he rolled onto his stomach. He was able to stand up halfway, when a sharp pain shot through his back. "OW! Oh, I know I'm going to feel this in the morning."

'It's what you get for using magic with an injured arm.'

"How was I to know that would happen – YOUCH!" Harry's back cracked as he straightened up completely. He twisted his upper body from side to side, trying to get all of the kinks out. "And you could have said something, I bet you were slinking in some corner watching me make an arse of myself the entire time, weren't you?"

'And once again, you have failed to sense me coming,' Crookshanks retorted smoothly.

Harry glared at the ginger cat, "Why don't you make yourself useful and tell me why the stupid Silencing spell worked with my wand last night and not now with this stupid Levitating charm?"

Crookshanks yawned indifferently, 'Well obviously the silencing spell didn't work after all,' he said, sounding a lot like his Mistress when annoyed at her friend's slowness.

Harry's eyes widened at the revelation. "But – but that's not possible! My wand – it didn't burn my hand when I said the spell – "

'Tell me, did it burn when you used it just now?'

Harry opened his mouth, but realizing where Crookshanks was going with his question he closed it with an audible snap. "But that would mean anyone could have heard me talking to Asuka and Ivory!" He frantically tried to remember if anyone from his dorm had acted strangely during breakfast or had mentioned anything of his conversation last night. He didn't think anyone had overheard him, but then again, he hadn't been listening for anything that specific at the time. Harry grabbed his hair and shook his head furiously, 'Oh, why am I always screwing myself over?'

'Because you're an idiot.'

"What – GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

Crookshanks snickered at him. 'S'not my fault you leave it open for all to explore.'

Harry plopped back down to the floor. "What am I going to do? Did I just mess everything up before I even started?" he muttered into his hands. Crookshanks padded up to him and put a comforting paw on his knee.

'Try not and worry about it Guardian. Hopefully they're all heavy sleepers. I know carrot top and that chunky kid could sleep through the Apocalypse.'

Harry ignored the description the cat used towards Ron and Neville. "You're probably right about them. But what about Dean and Seamus?"

Crookshanks didn't answer right away. 'Well,' he finally said, slowly. 'The only way to find out is if between now and the rest of the school year there are bodies of students strewn about the hallways and hellish monstrosities running a muck in the open – '

"CROOKSHANKS!" Harry hollered, horror struck. His stomach turned at the images the ginger cat had unintentionally planted in his head. 'Crookshanks,' he thought, fearing that if he spoke vomit would come out of his mouth rather then words. 'If that was supposed to be comforting, you failed…badly.'

'Oh, well, it wasn't my intention,' he purred, sounding completely unabashed. 'Look kid. What happened, happened. And the only way to find out is to walk out that door and see.'

Harry nodded faintly in agreement. "You're right, you're right. So what of my magic then? If my elemental magic isn't done developing, why didn't my wand burn me?"

'Its in the final stages I'm sure. You'll be back to normal in a few more days…' Harry narrowed his eyes at him, so Crookshanks then quickly added, 'that is, as normal as you can be in this…state.'

The bell rang. Harry pulled out his schedule to check which class he had next. "Figures," he sighed ruefully.

'What is it?'

"I've got Defense Against the Dark Arts next." Harry stood and gathered his bag, hands shaking and stomach doing more acrobats then he did at The Talent Show. Crookshanks cocked his head curiously at his trepidation, then nodded in sudden realization.

'Ah, it is the Defense teacher then?'

Harry smiled sardonically. "Who else could it be?"

'There are times I wonder if your Headmaster is blind.'

"Don't blame him Crookshanks. You know this goes way beyond him."

'Hmph,' he said, hardly sympathetic. 'And the other times? Were they beyond his abilities as well?'

Harry thought back to his previous DADA teachers. One was a complete moron, and the other two were Death Eaters. Despite those facts, the most powerful wizard on the light side had let them proceed to teach at his school without question. Until now, he had never really wondered why. "I think he just tries to see the good in people first before he starts judging."

'That makes two of you then.'

Harry wasn't sure what to say to this, not sure if the cats comment was a complement or an insult, so instead, he started for the door.

'Good luck…Harry.'

Harry paused at the threshold and turned to the ginger cat now laying on his stomach on Harry's bed. He smiled reassuringly at him, "Thanks Crookshanks," then added silently, "I'll be needing it."

You know the drill. Review responses will be up and ready as soon as the second part is out. Thank ya kindly to all!

Potter/Pikachu signing off!