NOTES: Futurefic. Again, I'm pretty new to LWD, so any comments or criticisms would be gratefully received.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing LWD.

There was only one sane response to Nora's request.

"No!"

"Would you like to repeat that a little louder? I still have some hearing left in this ear," her mother said.

"I'm sorry mom," Casey said, in a tone more suited to phone conversation. "I really am, but you have to realise that it's out of the question. The drama festival is this week, and I'm the head-coordinator."

"I know it's asking a lot, Casey, but Derek's having a really rough time."

"I know, I know," Casey said, a strong note of 'heard-it-all-before-but-still-not-convinced' in her voice. "According to you, Derek is 'heartbroken'."

"You know, I can actually hear you using quotation marks from here," Nora said.

Casey sighed. "Mom, it's Derek. I hear the words 'Derek' and 'in love' and all I see is...Derek looking in a mirror." She brightened. "Maybe he has stomach flu?"

"I'm telling you, he has been miserable since that girl dump-" Nora caught herself. "I mean, since he and his girlfriend came to a mutual agreement to part ways that was friendly, polite and above all, mutual. I did mention that it was mutual, right?"

"So his ego is hurt because he got dumped," Casey translated, rolling her eyes. "I still don't see a reason for me to babysit him for a week."

"Believe me, Casey, if it were just Derek, I could handle it, but with George and Marti" –

"What's the problem with George and Marti?"

"Puberty," Nora said heavily.

"After me, Derek, Lizzie and Edwin, Marti shouldn't be any trouble," Casey said.

"Oh, I can handle Marti," her mother said. "The problem is George."

"What?"

"He's woken up to the fact that his baby is growing up, and let's just say...he's not taking it well."

"He keeps buying me stuffed animals," a new voice interrupted. "I can hardly fit in my room."

"Marti, what have I told you about listening in on private phone conversations?"

"It's boring?"

"No, that would be the voice in your head." Nora sounded exasperated. "It's rude and" –

Marti ignored this, addressing Casey instead. "Are you going to take Derek?"

"Marti, I don't know if I have the time – I'm really busy at the moment with the drama festival, and besides...this is Derek. Maybe I'm just being suspicious, but this sounds exactly like the kind of stunt he would pull to scam a few days vacation."

"Yeah - but it's really really not," Marti said, very seriously.

Casey digested this in silence. She once again tried to picture a Derek completely crushed and heartbroken. As enjoyable as the image was, it was blurry and somewhat unbelievable. But...Marti did sound sincere. Of course...Marti could be involved in Derek's scheme - but Casey quickly squashed that thought. That sort of thinking led to circular logic and lack of trust.

"I don't know..." she said, much less confident.

Sensing weakness, Nora leapt in with, "I know you're busy honey, but really, Derek's visit won't affect you at all...much! It's not like a visit-visit – more...a change of scene. You won't even have to spend much time together, if you don't want to." She took a breath. "Think of it as your annual Derek-related good deed," she advised.

"Is it that time of year already?" Casey asked, giving in with bad grace.

There was only one sane response to Casey's request.

"No," he said.

"Why not?"

"Um...because it's my house?" Christian said. "I know you haven't told your family about us, but Casey, this is ridiculous. I am not moving out for a week. Are you that ashamed of me?"

"No! No!" Casey hastened to reassure him. "It's not you I'm worried about...it's – Derek."

He smiled. "And what's the worst Derek could do?"

"You don't know him," Casey said darkly. "He's...Derek. It's hard to explain."

Christian raised his eyebrows. "Try," he suggested.

"He...he just...he's very...Derek."

"So...his name is an adjective," Christian said slowly.

"Yes! Like – 'horrible', or 'boorish', or 'obnoxious'." Casey thumped a throw pillow into submission and glared at it.

"I see," he said.

"No, you don't. He's going to mess everything up. Derek-ly."

"His name is an adverb too?"

"Yes. Like 'fatally' or 'stupidly.'"

Christian considered this. "So...his name is a noun, an adjective, and an adverb," he said, ticking each possibility off on his fingers. "Come on, go for gold – the verb. I know you want to."

Casey frowned at him. "You're not taking this seriously!" she said. "This is Derek! He's going to Derek everything up!"

Christian blinked. "I...think I can translate that one for myself."

There was only one sane response to the monologue.

"Casey, shut up!"

She halted mid-sentence.

"Let me make this easy for you" –

"That'd be a first," Casey muttered.

"- and for me," he continued, "since we've been standing here for the last fifteen minutes."

He glared at Casey, who looked guiltily down at her key, and took a deep breath. "Okay – there's something I need to tell you. My room-mate isn't a girl called Christina, it's" –

"Your boyfriend – called Christian," Derek finished, sounding bored.

"I-what...how did you know?"

"I'll give you two choices," he said, holding out both hands as if to weigh both options. "Either I'm psychic, or...you're a horrible liar." He leaned a little closer, and said, confidentially, "In case you can't decide, here's a clue – I'm not planning on setting up a hotline anytime soon."

Casey gaped at him. "Does everyone know?" she asked in a small, appalled voice.

"Let me think...Yes!" he said, adjusting his backpack on his shoulder. He gestured impatiently between her key and the door.

"But how?" she asked, almost to herself.

Derek released a breath. "Hmm. I don't know...it could be that – you're a terrible liar." Almost as an afterthought he said, "Plus the message on your answering machine starts something like," he cleared his throat and adopted a deep, cheery tone, "'Hey! You've reached the nest of Christian and Casey – leave a message and one of us lovebirds is sure to get back to you!'"

"I explained that!" Casey argued.

He stared pityingly at her. "Yeah. Badly."

"It's just – it all happened so fast and I didn't want anyone to" –

"Casey! Do I look like I care about anything apart from putting this bag down?"

"No," she granted.

Once again, he gestured to the key in Casey's hand, and the still-locked door. Slowly Casey inserted the key in the lock and turned it. She put her hand on the knob, then turned suddenly to face Derek again.

"But if you say one word to make Christian uncomfortable" –

"Open the door now, and I promise you lovebirds are safe," he said, palm out in a mocking Scout salute. Casey eyed him suspiciously, but couldn't find a reason to delay any longer.

Once inside, Derek dropped his bag right beside the door. Casey readied herself for a familiar tirade (almost enjoying the prospect) when she heard the familiar thump of boots on the stairs.

"Hi there!" Christian said, as he descended, hand outstretched. "You must be Derek."

Derek smiled widely, falsely, and said, "And you must be Christian," taking the offered hand. "Casey's told me so much about you." He darted a malicious glance at Casey, who narrowed her eyes at him.

"She has?" Christian said. He shot a pleased look in her direction, apparently oblivious to the byplay. "Well, your stepsister is really something." He smiled at Casey.

"That's one way of putting it," Derek agreed. "Though, personally, I've always thought of her as more of an 'it'."

It was at that moment that Casey, secure in the belief that she had been conned, began fantasising about appropriate punishments for Nora and Marti.