A/N: Me playing with random pairings generator again. This was originally planned as just a bit of Sides/Mirage fluff, since I felt I was being a bit mean to poor Mirage in Paperclip, but eh, as usual the characters took over and turned it into something I certainly hadn't planned.

Prompt: Skywarp / Sideswipe / redundant

Disclaimer: Don't own, please don't sue.

"Get off me!"

Skywarp rolled starboard, trying to dislodge the annoying red Autobot firmly attached to his back. Sideswipe just grinned and lifted a fist again, smashing the canopy of the fighter, while holding the other arm in a hard grip around the fuselage of the fighter. The Seeker shrieked in protest as Sideswipe brought his hand inside the cockpit, tearing at the gears and controls, not caring what he ripped at as long as it seemed to hurt the jet. A sharp dive combined with a barrel roll did force him to retreat his hand and hold on with both hands for a moment, but the moment Skywarp eased up the red Autobot continued ripping, forcefully removing cables and fuel lines with an almost feral intensity, feeling the other's energon leaking between his fingers.

"Let go!" The jet shrieked again, pain and humiliation making navigation difficult. "You're– aargh!"

Sideswipe looked up just in time to see a sheer rock cliff in front of him, and made to jump off the jet and watch as the 'Con crashed into the wall. That was when he realized his hand was stuck. A piece of wiring had looped itself around it, and apparently it was strong enough to hold not matter how hard he pulled. Oh frag was all he had time to think before the wall loomed up ahead of him and everything turned black.

x-x-x

A soft touch on his forehead was what brought Sideswipe back into awareness. He unshuttered his optics, and quickly turned up the opacity on them as he found himself staring straight into a bright light. Bringing up an arm to shade more he groaned as he felt the joint protesting.

"Easy now", a voice said, and Sideswipe cocked his head in wonder, moving to sit up straighter.

"Mirage? Is that you?"

A chuckle. "Yes, me. And don't move around like that, you might make your injuries worse."

"My injuries? What inj– wait, what happened? And can you please shine that light someplace else?"

"Oh, sorry." The light turned to his left, and he could now see the blue-and-white form of the spy sitting next to him, headlights on, the only source of light in this… wherever they were. I seemed to be a small irregular cave, with big chunks of rocks littered all over it. He himself was propped up against one rather big rock in a half-sitting position. "As to what happened", Mirage continued, "it's all really straight-forward. You and Skywarp rammed the cliff upon which I was standing, and apparently there was a cave or something right behind the wall because you went straight through it, making the whole thing come down which made me fall in here with you. And right now we're pretty much stuck in here, since the cave-in has blocked the way out and I can't get a signal out through all these tons of rocks."

"Oh." A sudden realization hit him. "So… Skywarp is in here too somewhere?"

Mirage just nodded towards a corner of the cave, and Sideswipe could vaguely make out a prone shape on the ground there. His view was partly blocked by a large rock, but it looked like the jet was pinned down by a multitude of smaller rocks, and he was definitely unconscious. "Don't worry about him, he's knocked out, and I took the liberty of relieving him of his weapons." Mirage held up Skywarp's cannons with a small smile. "Anyway, he's not important; I'm more worried about you. Can you tell me where you're hurt?"

Sideswipe shuttered his optics for a brief moment as he ran a scan.

"Umm, nothing serious. I mostly just feel rather dented and beaten up, and there are some minor ruptures, but my repair system is already on it. And my left hand feels rather weird." He lifted said appendage from the ground and took a look at it. "Oh."

"Ouch", Mirage said as he gently took the hand in his own and took a closer look. A strand of wire had tangled in the joints and cut down into the hand, almost taking fingers off. "How did you manage this?" he asked the red mech.

"I, uh, got stuck in Skywarp's internals", Sideswipe said with an embarrassed grin. "It's not as bad as it looks; most of that energon is his, not mine."

"I'll never understand your preference to stick your hands inside other mechs", Mirage said as he unsubspaced a piece of cloth and gently started to dry away the slick energon staining the warrior's hand. Sideswipe just shrugged. They sat in silence for a little while, Sideswipe relaxing best as he could against the rock while he felt the soft movements of the cloth removing the energon from his hand.

"There", Mirage finally said. "Now, I will try to get this wire out of your joints, all right? Just tell me if it hurts too much or so."

Sideswipe just nodded and leaned back against the rock again. It was actually rather nice feeling Mirage's gentle hands try to ease the piece of wiring free, instead of a grouchy CMO who wouldn't see the point in being more careful than necessary, and who would ream him all the time about the stupidity of tangling with Seekers.
The wire bit into a joint and he instinctively twitched from the pain. Mirage immediately stopped what he was doing, looking at the red twin anxiously.

"I'm sorry… did I hurt you?"

Sideswipe chuckled a bit.

"Believe me, this is the gentlest anyone has ever taken care of any of my wounds." At Mirage's stricken expression he added, "Don't worry about it, 'Raj, I can handle it. I wouldn't be a frontline warrior if I couldn't take a bit of pain."

"Huh. Still doesn't mean you should have to suffer unnecessarily." Mirage started to extricate the wire once more, taking great care untangling it from the black fingers. The wire had cut deep into one of the joints, and he grimaced as he tried to pry it out without hurting Sideswipe, who sat with a stoic expression on his face. Finally he managed to get it out, and he threw the wire away from him with a disgusted expression. Taking the cloth again he wiped away the small drops of energon that had appeared when the wire had cut into the joint, cleaning Sideswipe's hand with gentle strokes. He was so engrossed in his work he didn't even notice as the red mech slowly relaxed even more and started to drift off into recharge.

"I think I got it all off now", he said offhandedly as he subspaced the cloth, looking up at the other mech, noting the shuttered optics and the way his head was tilted to the side, leaning on his shoulder. "Sideswipe?"

The spy cocked his head slightly and smiled wistfully, watching the relaxed features of the red mech.

"I wonder if you have any idea how sweet you look when you're relaxed like this", he said affectionately, stretching out with a hand to stroke the grey cheek. Sideswipe leaned into the touch, murmuring appreciatingly before unshuttering his optics and looking at Mirage with a small smile.

"Actually, I do", he said, mischief glinting in his optics. "I'm always irresistible."

"You're hopelessly deluded, that's what you are", Mirage answered with a small huff, but he couldn't help smiling himself.

"Really?" The mischievous glint suddenly turned positively wicked as Sideswipe sneaked an arm around Mirage's waist and pulled him into his lap with a quick tug. "I'm not irresistible, hmm?" he said, holding the spy tight, despite the latter's protestations.

"Sides! What do you think you're doing?" Mirage said, scandalized, as he tried in vain to extricate himself from the red mech's grip.

"Just hugging my favorite little spy", Sideswipe replied with an impish grin as he brought his injured hand up to softly stroke Mirage's blue helmet, pulling him closer.

"Sideswipe, you're injured", he said sternly. "You should rest, not–"

"I rest a lot better with you close to me. You don't want to deprive me of that, right?"

"Well, I–"

He didn't get any further; because Sideswipe chose that moment to pull his head close and shut him up with a tender kiss. Mirage let out a muffled sound of surprise before giving in and answering the kiss, simply enjoying the feeling of it before breaking off gently.

"Sides, much as I enjoy this, this is neither the time nor the place", he said, pulling back a little and trying to ignore the disappointed pout on the other's face, "we should try to figure out a way to get out of here or at least get in contact with someone."

"I certainly agree with that", a voice suddenly said from off to their side, making Mirage jump in surprise and pulling out his rifle to point in the direction of the voice. He lowered it slowly as his optics fell on the battered frame of Skywarp.

"Oh", he said. "So you're awake now."

"Yes, and I wish I wasn't, with you two going on like that. Ick! I think I have to clean out my audios."

"Aww, you're just jealous 'cause you ain't getting any", Sideswipe piped up with a smile.

"Oh please. I'd rather strip my paint off with a potato peeler than get involved with anything like that", the Seeker replied caustically.

"That could be arranged", Sideswipe said with a small grin. "I'm sure I've got a potato peeler here somewhere… oh, well, no, seems like I've lost it. Too bad. Would have been interesting to see you without that horrendous color scheme of yours."

"Pfft. You're Autobots, you don't torture prisoners anyway."

"True", Mirage said, "but you're not exactly a prisoner now, are you?"

Skywarp stared at him best as he could, lying prone on the floor with his head twisted to the side so he could see the other two.

"Semantics. There are two of you and I can't move."

"Guess you just have to wait for your oh-so-caring leader to come and rescue you, then? In the meantime, we'll just do whatever we want over here." Sideswipe grinned lecherously at Mirage who just looked back at him, unconvinced.

"Sides, I'm not doing anything while Skywarp is lying over there. Especiall–"

"Oh? You want him here with us? 'Raj, I didn't know you had it in you!" Sideswipe quipped in a truly suggestive voice, sounding almost impressed. "But really, babe, don't you think I'm enough for you?"

"Argh! I didn't hear that!" Skywarp tried to twist around where he lay, but to no avail. "I so did not hear that!"

Sideswipe pulled Mirage close again as he put his mouth close to the other's audios. "Please babe, just play along for now", he whispered, and Mirage suddenly understood what Sideswipe was doing. He nodded silently as Sideswipe raised his voice again. "But then, if you absolutely want him, I don't see why not. After all, they're really… hot, those 'Cons. It would certainly be interesting." He leered towards Skywarp who stared at him with a wide-opticed expression.

"Oh no…" the jet said. "You're not thinking that. Absolutely not. I refuse to be some kind of… plaything to you!"

Mirage had to hide his face in Sideswipe's shoulder to stop from laughing at the Seeker. Thankfully, the jet didn't notice the laughter; just saw Mirage nuzzling closer to Sideswipe, and his optics widened even more. Sideswipe moaned theatrically, which made Skywarp shutter his optics tightly, mumbling "this is not happening" repeatedly.

"I think you're enough for now", Mirage said in a husky voice, snuggling up tighter by the red warrior.

"Yes", Sideswipe said breathily, "I guess he would be rather… redundant. Especially –oooh– when you're doing that."

"Like it?" Mirage said, trying to sound seductive while doing his best not to laugh.

"Yeah…" Sideswipe said, smiling at him.

"This is cruel and unusual punishment!" Skywarp yelled from his place on the floor, optics pressed hard shut.

Sideswipe had to hide a snicker at the jet's predicament.

"Now, I'm going to–" Sideswipe began, but exactly what it was he was going to do Skywarp never got to learn, for at that moment they could all hear movement, and the red warrior fell silent. A few moments later a loud crash was heard and sunlight suddenly streamed into the cave.

"Mirage? Sideswipe? You there?" a familiar voice called.

"Inferno! Here!" Mirage hollered, and the large shape of Inferno stepped into the small cave, smiling at them.

"Everything all right?" he asked.

"Oh finally!" Skywarp perked up from his corner. "Just take them away, please! I can't understand how you can put up with those two at your base. They're insane!"

Inferno glared at the prone jet.

"I wouldn't recommend insulting my friends when you're defenseless", he said unapprovingly.

"Whatever, just take them away", the jet muttered as Prowl also stepped into the cave. The tactician took in the scene with a quick glance.

"Sideswipe, Mirage, if you can get out by yourself Ratchet would like to check you out outside where the light is better. Skywarp, we'll put up a distress signal for you as soon we've left so your people can come and pick you up. Inferno, help Sideswipe if he needs it." With that he turned and walked out again.

Sideswipe looked at Mirage and gave a small laugh as they hobbled out of the cave into the sunlight.

"Well, at least this whole incident wasn't a complete waste of time. We learned a new way of torturing 'Cons without resorting to any violence."

Mirage chuckled.

"True."

Inferno just looked at them curiously.

"Do I even want to know?" he asked.