Disclaimer: I really don't need to be reminded constantly that I don't own FMA. The law however seems to think otherwise.

Warnings: Crack-pairing, mature themes, yaoi.

Around Seven

Kain couldn't believe that he'd actually attacked a superior officer. What else could shoving a higher ranking officer into a supplies closet and molesting him be called, if not an attack? He was going to get court-marshaled for this... he was going to get court-marshaled and charged with sexual assault! He was going to- Was that tongue?!

Oh God, it was! The older man was taking control of the kiss, and Fuery was certain that his feet were no longer on the ground. He had been standing only a minute ago, holding at the front of the blue uniform jacket that spanned across the higher ranking man's torso, so that he had been bent deeply at the waist. But he wasn't anymore, and he had no idea when the change had occurred.

Well obviously sometime between kicking the door shut and his inner freak out, but it was… It was… It was nice. Being held up like that, of course it meant that his legs had to go somewhere, and if that somewhere just happened to be around the broad man's middle, then so be it.

Kain had to know why he wasn't being thrown through a wall, or punched with enough force to splinter a log, or even lectured on rude behavior, and proper courting etiquette as dictated by generations upon generations of the Armstrong family. There was just one problem, between the two large hands, one holding him up while simultaneously kneading at his rear end, and the other roaming his small body stopping once or twice to ghost over the fly of his uniform pants, and the mouth busy not only on his, but on his neck and face, and earlobe as well, he couldn't manage coherent speech. And when he did try, it came out as melty man brain mush like, "Fwaa," or "Nnngh," or "Haa-Ahhh!"

And when it was all over, and Kain Fuery himself felt like he too might just start sparkling pink sparkles, and catching the light in a way only the romantic leads in shoujo manga were ever supposed to, and clothes being Alchemized clean of the sticky mess that covered their front- a trick passed down the Armstrong line for no less than seven generations- he found that he still couldn't ask. This time though it was embarrassment, and guilt for trying to force things in the first place (It wasn't like him. He'd never done anything like it before, and he hadn't meant to do it then), instead of a lust clouded mind that kept him from speaking.

"Sergeant-Major Fuery, I think you could do with some lessons in proper courtship etiquette. The Armstrong family has several techniques that you may be interested in learning. I'd be happy to instruct you." The balding man spoke boisterously while straightening his own clothes after having finished with Kain's. "My place should be sufficient. Say around seven?"

Once again Kain Fuery couldn't speak. And instead watched as the Major walked toward Roy's office, sparkling in that way only he- or someone of his ilk- could manage. He supposed any talking he had to do could wait until later- Say around seven.

End!