Important Questions Answered about Shaman King! – answered by Yoh Asakura, Ren Tao, Horokeu Usui, and Lyserg Diethyl

Usually I don't like writing fanfics in play form, but this one just called for it. Enjoy. I hope this brings up a few nagging questions for you too that I noticed in the manga/anime.

It's known that Ren is awkwardly shorter than almost everyone in the manga/anime. However, the rest of his family is really tall. Why is that? Is it some kind of stereotype?

Ren: It's heredity.

Horo: No, it can't be. Your sister is crazy tall and she's pretty big elsewheres.

Ren: Talk about my sister like that again and you're dead.

Horo: Whatever. Anyway, your mom and dad are pretty tall too. Kinda like Yao Ming.

Lyserg: Maybe it is heredity and Ren's just got some recessive genes. His grandpa is really short. Like Manta.

Yoh: Yeah, he kinda is.

Lyserg: As for stereotypes, Ren kind of does fit the type. Not that I'm saying all Chinese are short and arrogant, not to mention violent, but…

Ren: NEXT QUESTION!

How do you all know Japanese despite the fact you all have different backgrounds? Yoh and Horo are exempt from answering because you already are Japanese.

Lyserg: Well, it said the Shaman Tournament in Tokyo, so I thought I might as well learn Japanese. I still have a kind of an accent.

Ren: I'm just so smart like that I know Japanese.

Yoh: And besides, it's just a manga so the author can do whatever he likes. I could suddenly burst out in German for all we know.

Lyserg: But don't. Because we all know how Faust gets if we even make fun of him. You saw how he was when Horo got drunk that one time and started mocking him with his German.

Horo: Let's not bring up that incident. My ass still hurts thinking about it.

You all went to Japan to participate in the Shaman Tournament. Which lasted about maybe twoish years. Before that, we only knew Yoh was in school. How do you all expect to get jobs without an adequate amount of education?

Lyserg: My parents left me enough money in their passing to let me coast along comfortably.

Ren: And my family isn't the Tao family for nothing. We have some sort of money abundance too.

Yoh: Um…well…I wish I could say the same about my family, but even though we've got that big place in Izumo, I doubt my parents would just go and give me money just because I couldn't get an honest job. And like the voice said, I did go to school. Kind of.

Ren: Yeah, but you kind of dropped out of some other ones.

Yoh: Anna would probably find me something to do. She'd kill me if I didn't earn any money anyway. So I'd muddle through.

Horo: Yeah, my family lives in the North, and we're pretty much naturalists so we don't really find a need for anything more than we really need. And I think survival skills are more important anyway. At least I can read and write.

Ren: At least.

What about some of your more unnatural hair colors?

Ren: Again, heredity.

Lyserg: Or a mutation.

Yoh: You're comfortable knowing that your hair color is just a resort of a mutation?

Lyserg: (nods) It sounds accurate, so why wouldn't I accept it?

Horo: I dye my hair every other week to keep it this blue.

(Everyone turns to him)

Horo: Alright, I don't, but hey, don't look at me! My sister has blue hair too!

Yoh: I've always wondered…since red and yellow make orange, if a guy with red hair has kids with a blonde, does that mean their kids will have orange hair?

Lyserg: Are they married?

Yoh: Why does that matter?

Lyserg: Changes how I feel about it.

Ren: Yeah, cause the parents would probably stay together so the orange haired freak wouldn't grow up alone and isolated in an orphanage.

Somewhere far away, Ichigo Kurosaki sneezes.

Horo: If things worked out like that, Tamao's parents were probably a redhead and an albino.

Lyserg: Then that would make my parents have blue and yellow hair, but for a fact my dad had dark green hair and my mom was a brunette.

Yoh: So your parents already had the green factor.

Horo: What about your dad's parents?

Ren: We're already off subject.

What are your opinions on the various shonen-ai pairings in fanfictions?

Ren: Never mind, let's keep talking about hair color.

Horo: So which should we start with?

How about Ren and Horo?

Ren: (shaking with uncontrollable embarrassment and anger)…

Horo: It makes sense, I have to let them get away with imagination. But the book already says I like someone anyway, although it hasn't been revealed yet.

Lyserg: So you don't know yourself who you like yet.

Horo: Not really. It's still in the dark.

Yoh: Bet'cha all it's the Maiden. A hundred bucks.

Lyserg: I wouldn't bet a hundred bucks over something so certain like that!

Horo: Shut up! Don't make fun of what might happen! Who's next?

Yoh and Lyserg?

Lyserg: Well, Yoh is a really nice person, I wouldn't really mind if it did happen.

Yoh: Yeah, and we've kind of established the fact that Lyserg is quite girly. Thank you for pointing that out, Ryu.

Lyserg: (sarcastically) Thanks loads.

Yoh: But then we've got the point that Anna would kill me anyway. Lyserg, are you gay anyhow?

Lyserg: My sexuality remains still ambiguous, thank you very much.

Horo: Personally I think there's a lot of evidence to back that up. First of all, there was that hugging scene…

Lyserg: Oh, yeah. That took months to rehearse.

Horo: It was rehearsed?

Lyserg: Naw, it just sounded cool to say so.

Yoh and Ren.

Ren: (shaking still) …

Horo: I could see that.

Lyserg: Me too.

Yoh: Um…well, like I said about Anna before…

Lyserg and Hao.

Lyserg: I could see that too…there's a lot of other stuff out there about bitter rivals falling for each other. Not to mention the saying 'there's a fine line between love and hate'.

Yoh: Why do you seem so literate?

Lyserg: I don't know. I'm British.

Horo: So you'd be okay with it?

Lyserg: I never said I'd be okay with it, I'm just saying I could see it. He's kind of like an older Yoh only with longer hair and an unhealthy obsession with killing and fire.

Horo: That's a scary Yoh.

Lyserg: Very much so.

Horo: Hey, that rhymed!

Yoh and Horo.

Horo: That gets a little iffy. I mean, we're great friends and all, but in the book, we really don't get much past that. I don't even hang out with Yoh that much anyway. I do, but it's mostly focused on the Team the Ren scenes, you know what I mean?

Lyserg: And you two are totally different. I'm having a hard time imagining it.

Yoh: Why are you two talking so much?

Horo: I'm just getting way into it.

Lyserg: Same here. You and Ren are just sitting there.

How do you feel about Mary Sues?

Horo: What are Mary Sues?

Made up characters in fanfictions that are perfect in every way and usually are paired off with characters of the fanfics they are in.

Horo: So is she hot or something?

I would assume so.

Horo: Then they're fine.

Yoh: I guess they're okay. There aren't a lot with me in it anyway. People just automatically pair me up with Anna.

Lyserg: I think they're unrealistic. No one's perfect. What makes them think that we'd just fall for someone just because they're perfect? (reads some) And then they always have to beat their egos down thinking they're not and somehow we just happen to convince them otherwise.

Ren: In other word's, they're useless.

Yoh: Hey, you regained control!

What about fanfictions in general?

Yoh: They're a great way for fans to become more a part of their favorite series. They're nice, I guess. Some a bit R-rated, but I guess we all like them like that.

Ren: It's a fairy tale world the authors live in to trick themselves into thinking they can manipulate characters they only wish they could have been the ones to create.

Lyserg: Stop being so negative.

Horo: Yeah. I mean, some of them are okay. Like Yoh said.

Lyserg: I agree kind of. It's like crystal meth for hard core fans. That was a bad comparison.

Although you all are shamans, do you believe in one God?

Yoh: Um…

Horo: I think it's kind of a given for me. The Ainu believe in nature spirits so we're kind of naturistic.

Yoh: Technically, based on the manga's explanation, God is the Great Spirit, so there's nothing to believe.

Ren: China was mostly atheist. You have your answer.

Yoh: We have ancestor worship, I don't know if that qualifies or anything.

Lyserg: I'm an Evangelist!

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Note: So these were all the questions I could come up with that were nagging at me since they're not answered since they're so retarded and only a fan could come up with them. This was actually a bit fun to write. If you have any questions that aren't answered, drop them into the review and I'll put it in the next one. Thanks for reading!