Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Jeopardy!, exclamation points, the Sony Picture Studios, or anything else in this story, for that matter.

A/N: Muahaha.. yes, I am back. But no, I am not presently working on my other stories, I'm really sorry. I just can't get into them right now. But I may post up some random YGO stuff, mostly because I have recently become obsessed with it all over again. Hahahah, I feel four years younger. :P

Yeah, I have no idea where this random idea came from. It just popped into my head at seven o'clock in the morning when I should have been doing my schoolwork. But evs, hopefully y'all will find it funny. Just FYI, though, it's.. written weird. Mainly because that's the only way I could think of doing it without putting in my usual length of descriptions and making each chapter ten thousand words long. XD

Oh, yeah, and another random FYI -- don't go flaming and talking about how I hate all the characters. This is actually one of my favorite shows of all time, and while I generally annoyed by Tea (I mean, Happy Friendship Princess, much?), I do love the other characters. Especially Seto. (Is a fangirl and unashamed to admit it. XD)

Chapter One -- Day One, Part One

Announcer Dude: From the Sony Picture Studios, this.. is.. Jeopardy! And here's your host, Alex Trebek!

Alex: Thank you, Michael.

Announcer Dude: My name isn't Michael.

Alex: ... Well, whatever. Nobody's here to hear you, anyway. So let's meet our contestants!

Announcer Dude: -grumblegrumble-

Alex: Hey!

Announccer Dude: Fine! It's Yu-Gi-Oh! week here on Jeopardy!, blah blah blah...

Alex: Expect a pay cut for this, Michael.

Announcer Dude: My name isn't Michael!

Alex: Whatever! Just get on with it!

Announcer Dude: ... I liked you better with a moustache.

Alex: ... Excuse me?

Announcer Dude: Er, I mean -- all the way from Domino City, where she is a sixteen-year-old high school student, please welcome.. Tea Gardner!

Tea walks in, smiling, to some polite applause and a few scattered boos.

Announcer Dude: Also from Domino City, where he owns and operates a game shop, please welcome Solomon Muto!

Solomon walks in to polite applause.

Announcer Dude: And finally, hailing from -- could you ever guess? -- Domino City, an eighteen-year-old high school student who is also the CEO of his own multi-billion-dollar company! Please welcome... Seto Kaiba!

Seto walks in to polite applause and a few assorted fangirl screams (coughmineincludedcough).

Alex: Good evening, contestants!

Solomon: Evening? It's nine in the morning!

Alex: -chuckles awkwardly- Well, you see, Solomon, this show is aired later in the day, so we generally just pretend that it's evening.

Solomon: But that's lying!

Tea: Friends don't lie to each other! Friends never lie! Liars aren't friends, but the power of friendship can --

Alex: Okay, can someone please cut the contestants' mics until we're ready to speak with them? .. Yes, thank you, Jerry --

Announcer Dude: Sure, remember his name...

Alex: And Michael's, too, while you're at it, Jerry?

Announcer Dude: My name's not --

Alex: Thank you, Jerry. And now, for our categories! First we have Minor Historical Figures... Famous "13's"... The Wild West... and "Odd"yssey. Hm, this board has the look of having a lot to do with history, I hope you'll all do well!

Silence.

Alex: Oh, turn their mics back on, Jerry!

Tea: ... and really, in a nutshell, friendship is just the greatest, most powerful force in the world!

Alex: ... Did she continue that friendship rant even while her mic was off?

Seto: Oh, yes. You have no idea the thought Tea puts into her friendship speeches even though they're all almost exactly the same.

Alex: ... Er.. if you say so...

Announcer Dude: Hey!

Alex: Jerry, why did you turn his mic back on?

Announcer Dude: Because I have something important to point out!

Alex: Does it have anything to do with your name?

Announcer Dude: No, actually it has something to do with Contestant Number Three's name.

Everybody looks at Seto, who blinks.

Seto: -coldly, and with a glare- Yes?

Announcer Dude: You've written your name on your.. um.. what's it called? Pedestal thing? Well, whatever! You've written your name as Kaiba!

Seto: ... What's your point?

Announcer Dude: You're supposed to write your first name.

Alex: That's true. I hadn't noticed that.

Seto: No one but my brother calls me by my first name. No one but Mokuba is allowed to call me by my first name.

Tea: That's not true, I called you Seto once.

Seto: -glares- I had more important things to deal with at the time. Call me Seto again and you'll regret it.

Alex: Er, okay, how about everyone take a deep breath and calm down?

Tea does as she's told, but Seto switches his glare to Alex.

Alex: Now, Seto --

Seto: -lethal voice- Don't.. call me Seto.

Alex: Er.. then what am I supposed to call you?

Seto: Kaiba. Or Mr. Kaiba, preferably.

Silence.

Alex: Er, can we get a check of the rule book, someone? Is this allowed?

Announcer Dude: Trey is searching the rules as we speak.

Alex: Very good. Does he know what he's looking for?

Announcer Dude: Well, he is just an intern...

Alex: -sighs- Can we get someone a little more experienced in there? Maybe a producer?

Announcer Dude: Like the producers actually come to set! What do you think this is, a blockbuster movie where they're actually concerned with their investment?

Alex: Well, maybe we should take a commercial break while...

Announcer Dude: Aha, Trey has found it!

Alex: Already? Wow, that was quick.

Announcer Dude: Not really. After all, it took three interns five minutes.

Alex: Whatever. Anyway, what does the rulebook say?

Trey over the intercom: 'Jeopardy!, Sony Picture Studios --'

Alex: Not the front cover, you moron!

Trey: Oh, right! 'All contestants are to be fully sober and free of any wireless transmitting devices --'

Alex: I mean, what does it say about the names!

Trey: Oh, yeah! That! -laughs in a high pitch-

Alex: We really should try to have that rule about being sober extended to interns, as well...

Trey: Right, here it is! 'Contestants should write their first name clearly on the electrahonic -- electrytonic -- whatever that word is -- screen!'

Alex: Aha, and there we have the conclusion of the matter. Mr. Kaiba, I am sorry, but you must rewite your name.

Seto: ... Remind me to buy this show later and have it canceled.