I am literally posting these once I write them, so if I have a bunch of typos, I'm sorry. I'll fix them later. Enjoy.

Chapter 1

"Oh shit. Oh Shit ohSHITOHSHIT!" Lavi was freaking out. This was not good. On a scale of 1 to 10, this was cutting Kanda's hair and dying it bubblegum pink levels of not good! Allen was a little kid! A little kid who was scowling and swearing at him now. Well, would you check out the mouth on this kid!
"Who da fuck'r you, arsemuncher? Where d'fuck am I? What's doing on, wanker?!" little Allen screamed.
The once fitted clothes hung off him and weighed him down, making it near impossible to wade out of the water. He slipped and almost landed face first into the drink when large hands grabbed him and pulled his small body from the water. Boots thumped to the ground with a sluggish splash, his soaked pants following right after; boxers staying neatly inside his pants.
Great. Now he was soaked, confused, and pantsless infront of this tall weirdo gaping like a damn fish. What was going on? Why was he wearing something so huge and heavy? He had no idea, but he blamed the adult before him. This was all the weirdo's fault, it was always the adult's fault!
Lavi stared. He felt like his brain had stopped. Him, Bookman Jr, without a functioning brain! Was that even possible? His friend was standing infront of him only waist high, face rounded like a toddler's. This couldn't be really happening.
"Stop staring, ya fucking creep!" screeched the mini exorcist. He tried to kick Lavi in the shin but tripped on the coat pooled around his feet and fell on his butt. A loud growl from Allen's stomach snapped the teen out of his shock. Well fuck a duck, this really was happening. Once a bottomless pit, always a bottomless pit apparently. The readhead snatched up Allen's fallen clothes and tossed the flailing child over his shoulder. The Innocence was quickly stashed into his pocket before he took off running. Now wasn't the time to try to process all this. Maybe later, or even never.
"Don't worry, Allen. Hevlaska and Komui can fix this! I hope.." Screams, swearing, and hitting were his only response. For someone so tiny, he had some strong lungs, holy shit! There had to be some way to make the screaming stop without hurting him, his hearing was at stake here! "Oh! That's it! Allen! If you stop screaming and kicking me, I'll give you all the food you can eat!" That had to work. That ALWAYS worked! Yes! The kicking and screaming had stopped! Ha, that was so easy.
"I want candy too! The good shit! None'a that gross crap! Now! GIMME CANDY, YOU STUPID ARSE RABBIT! NOW!"
What a damn brat! Lavi shifted his hold to reach into his coat pocket for the lone piece of butterscotch he had hidden away. Was he really going to sacrifice his last piece of candy just to keep his hearing? Wow, yeah, his hearing was more important. His ears were already starting to ring. A tear left his eye as he mourned the loss of sweet sweet sugary goodness. The things he did for his friends. They didn't know how good they had it, those lucky bastards. Oh poor butterscotch, how you shall be missed. Ode to butterscotch! Long live the-
"GIMME!" Allen's tiny hands wrapped tightly around the candy, making quick work of the wrapper before tossing the golden treat into his mouth. The empty and sticky wrapper taunted Lavi, but the sudden silence was worth is. No more screams, no kicks, just the tiny hum of content as the hard sugary candy slowly melted. Totally worth it! Or at least, it was before the damn runt decided to shove the wrapper down the back of Lavi's collar.
"Dude! The hell?! That's sticky!"
"Mm!"
It was official. Once Allen was returned to normal Lavi was going to fuck with him for months. He was already forming plans for the totally awesome as hell pranks he would pull. They were mere mintues from the train station now. He could do this. Just one more minute now. Almost there!

The whistle blew loudly once the train pulled from the station. An exhausted teen slumped in the seat of the fancy first class cabin. They'd made it to the station just in time to board like normal people. It was a nice rarity, but they probably could have done without the staring. Lavi had stomped into the cabin and dumped Allen onto the seat so he could finally remove the candy wrapper sticking to his neck.
An attendant wheeled in a cart full of food as he'd requested, making the 5 year old instantly happy. Maybe he could take a nap? Just a few minutes couldn't hurt. What could a child get into in just a few minutes, really? Plus he was busy eating, it'd be fine. And with that logic soundly in his mind, Lavi thudded his head back against the wall and allowed the car's rocking to lull him into sleep.

The harem of beautiful woman dissapeared before Lavi's eye right as he reached them. He groaned and tried to go back to sleep, to continue his dream. It was so quiet. Nothing but the sounds of the train chugging along the tracks taking him closer to the Black Order. So peaceful. So... wait. Too peaceful. Too peaceful!
Lavi leapt up now fully awake and looked around. The cart of food was pushed to the side, now holding only a heaping pile of dirty dishes. On the seat across from him a pair of boots, pants, and an exorcist jacket laid crumpled. There was no Allen in sight. Taking a shaky breath, Lavi opened the cabin door and peered out at the hall. Empty.
"I'm so fucked..."

It took twenty minutes to search every first class car. No Allen. Second class maybe? A half an hour later and still nothing. The only trace of Allen was the trail of thefts. Candies had gone missing in most cars. The richer passengers missing cash or jewelry. After two hours of searching, Lavi finally found the kid. Somehow, he'd snuck into the engine car and was currently giving his best puppy eyes at the man standing by the train whistle.
"Pleeeaase Mister? Just once? Pleeeaaassseee" Allen reached up towards the whistle, lip quivering. The man closed his eyes and turned away. Those pleading eyes were working too much for him to look at.
"I'm sorry kid, but you can't just blow the whistle for no reason. I could get in trouble you know! It could make the passengers panic." That was obviously not the answer Allen had hoped for. A big scowl settled on his face, wiping away the facade of cute innocence. He jumped up and grabbed the whistle with his left hand, crushing the metal in his grip.
"That's what you get ya fuckin arsehole!"
"Allen! What the fuck, man?!" Lavi rushed forward as Allen took off screeching. The boy climbed onto a box and launched himself at the window trying to escape. "Are you fucking CRAZY?!" Lavi threw himself at the window, catching hold of Allen's ankle.
"Lemme go!"
The kid was dangling upside down out the window, swaying from the speed of the train. Does this kid have a death wish or something?! He was starting to think so, why else would someone try to jump out the window of a train at full speed? And then kick and claw at the hand stopping him from bashing his brains out on the tracks. One big pull and Allen came flying back inside, kicking the redhead in the face on the way. With a yelp, Lavi let go.
The chase was on. Allen had a few second headstart while Lavi rubbed at his cheek. He could do this. He could get away from this weirdo! He could- Fuck! He was caught! A hand had snatched him up by the back of his shirt, pulling him backwards to his captor. Allen dropped to the floor with his arms up, going limp like a cooked noodle. The huge button down shirt slipped right off and he bolted across the room naked. He made it to the door before he was grabbed and lifted off the ground.
"Nice try, sport. We're going back to our cabin and you're getting a time out!" Lavi wrapped the discarded shirt around Allen's tiny waist and tucked the child under his arm. Once back in their cabin, he put Allen's shirt back on, rolling the sleeves up and tying the bottom around his stubby kid legs.

Six hours later they pulled into their stop. It was night now, the crickets chirping away while the moon shone bright. A thoroughly exhausted exorcist tredged out of the station carrying a snoring child on his back. That had been the longest train ride of his life. All the candy that had been stolen had clearly been eaten, leaving Allen with a sugar high. At least he'd found fun in jumping on the seats eventually. Lavi had gotten pretty tired of having to chase a screaming kid down the halls. Then had come the crash. Oh, Lavi had nearly cried in relief when Allen had passed out. Just a few tears of relief. Oh okay, fine. So he'd balled his eye out in relief, but can anyone really blame him? Having to run after a hyper demon spawn who keeps breaking things and stealing and screeching and trying to climb out windows isn't fun.

The walk to the Order was a quiet one. Lavi slipped into the compound and headed straight to Komui's office. Everyone in the science department was either asleep or too busy running around to pay him any attention. The door to Komui's office was closed. Lifting his boot clad foot, Lavi kicked. The wood splintered and broke from the hinges, crashing to the paper coated floor. It might have been a bit of overkill, but he was worn out and his hands were full! Stepping over the broken door, he made his way to the sleeping supervisor and kicked him off the desk and onto the floor. Okay, so that was totally overkill, but damn it, it had been a long day and this kid was heavy! So he dropped his sleeping friend onto the now semi-awake man's stomach.
"Owww, wha-OOF!" Komui squinted his sleep filled eyes at the shifting weight on him, not really comprehending what was going on.
"Fuck w's tha' f'r?" Allen grumbled, slowly sitting up. He rubbed his fist into his closed eyes and let out a large yawn.
"A-Allen-kun?!" The asian man bolted upright, sending the sleepy exorcist tumbling to the floor with a few slurred swears.
"Go 'way. 'M sleepy." The small boy curled up on a pile of papers and fell back asleep, his drool smudging the ink onto his face.
"Yep. That little monster is the Moyashi. You can fix him up, right? Yeah, I knew you could. I'm just gonna go drop the innocence off with Hev. I'm beat. Later!" And with that Lavi left the science department. His bed was calling him. Sweet blissful sleep was serenading him. Time for dream land. He practically threw the innocence at Hevlaska with a sleepy 'Here ya go' and dragged himself to his room. Once there he curled up in his bed and fell asleep the instant his head hit the pillow.