Almost, But Not Quite

Almost made you love me
Almost made you cry
Almost made you happy, baby
Didn't I, didn't I
You almost had me thinkin'
You were turned around
Everybody knows
Almost doesn't count

Harry stared out at the ink-black sky. It had been a month since he had broken up with Ginny, and not a day went by that he didn't regret every word he'd said, that he didn't wish he could take it all back. Hermione tapped his shoulder just then. He turned.

"You know she thinks you hate her," Hermione said bluntly, glaring at him. Harry nodded, knowing exactly what she was talking about.

"I know, Hermione. I know I messed up-you don't need to remind me," he snapped. Hermione shook her head.

"She'll take you back, you know she will." Harry didn't need to reply-they both knew Ginny would forgive Harry, but her brothers would take longer, and Harry himself would take even longer than that.

"You don't understand, Hermione," Harry said. "There were so many almosts with us…so much potential…even if she does forgive me, take me back, I know I've ruined whatever we almost had. My aunt always said, almost doesn't count, and now I know what she meant."

Almost heard you saying
You were finally free
What was always missing for you, baby
You'd found it in me
But you can't get to heaven
Half off the ground
Everybody know
Almost doesn't count

"Harry," Hermione tried again, "she'll take you back; you haven't ruined it, just talk to her. All that potential…Harry, it's still going to be there. It's not going to go away just because of one mistake."

"I told you that you wouldn't understand," Harry sighed. "I thought I'd finally found what I was always missing, but now I've blown it. I was almost free, Hermione; I was almost free of the stigma of being "The Boy Who Lived." I was almost…just Harry; but almost doesn't count, does it?"

I can't keep lovin' you
One foot outside the door
I hear a funny hesitation
Of a heart that's never really sure
Can't keep on tryin'
If you're looking for more
Than all that I could give you
Than what you came here for

Hermione shook her head. "No, almost doesn't count, but, Harry, that's not the point!"

"No, Hermione, it is the point!" Harry yelled more passionately than he'd intended. "Sorry."

"That's alright."

"I just…I can't expect her to keep loving me when I've got Voldemort hanging over my head like dead weight, one foot out the door, ready to run after him at the first sign that he might be on the verge of attacking. It's not fair that I hesitate when I say I love her because I'm afraid to love her, afraid that she'll be used against me to hurt me," he explained hesitantly. "I can't expect her to keep trying to make this work when I'm looking for Voldemort, looking for some way to defeat him, when she feels like she can't give me what she thinks I need. That's not fair to her. I almost had myself convinced that we'd be safe when Dumbledore died, but I guess almost really doesn't count."

Gotta find somebody
Not afraid to let go
Want a no-doubt to be-there kind of girl
You came real close
But every time you built me up
You only let me down
And everybody knows
Almost doesn't count

"Harry, you won't believe this, but you sound…" Harry interrupted her again.

"No, Hermione," he said. "Don't try to change my mind. She deserves someone who isn't afraid to let go of their problems, to put her first. She needs a guy who she has no doubt will be there, and I need to either find a girl I'm not so overprotective of or let go of her and never fall in love again."

"Harry, don't be so hard on yourself-you've lost so many, it's natural to be overprotective, but you underestimate her," Hermione tried again.

"No." Harry said simply. It seemed to be his favorite word that night. "I think I came close to being everything she needs, everything she deserves, but every time I built my confidence that I was what she needed, that I was truly good enough for her, something happened, something that only proved I was letting her down. I was almost enough, Hermione, but almost doesn't count."

Harry walked away then, refusing to hear anymore that night.

I can't keep lovin' you
One foot outside the door
I hear a funny hesitation
Of a heart that's never really sure
Can't keep on tryin'
If you're looking for more
Than all that I could give you
Than what you came here for

"Harry," Ron started, after Fred's funeral nearly a year later, "we've won, you know." Harry nodded mutely, watching Ginny across the room, still struggling to come to terms with the fact that the body they'd just put in the ground had been her fun loving, energetic, prankster brother. "We've all forgiven you for hurting her, and now there's nothing standing in your way."

Harry looked at Ron. "I know that, Ron. I know I could beg Ginny to take me back and she probably would, but I also know that although Voldemort is gone, some of his followers are still on the loose and would LOVE to kill me for it. I can't expect her to love me when I still have to hide, when I can't give her everything she needs right now. I can't expect her to want to be with me when I hesitate when I say "I love you" to her because I'm still not safe, which means she still wouldn't be safe. I can't expect that she'll keep trying when I have to look over my shoulder all the time, when I can't give her what she's looking for."

Ron threw his hands up, knowing it was useless to argue with Harry at this point. "Never mind-I was wrong. Your goddamn pride and stubbornness is standing in your way."

Maybe you'll be sorry
Maybe you'll be cold
Maybe you'll come runnin' back
From the cruel, cruel world
Almost convince me
You're gonna stick around
But everybody knows
Almost doesn't count

Harry watched Ginny working in the garden with her mother, helping her pull weeds. He could hear their conversation; they were talking about him, about the lack of a relationship between Ginny and Harry.

"Maybe he'll be sorry," Ginny was saying. "Maybe he'll want me. Maybe he'll come running back to me someday, maybe he'll even stick around."

Molly sighed. "Maybe, Ginny. He almost did last time, too. But, sweetheart, remember, almost doesn't count."

Maybe I'll be there
Maybe I'll see ya 'round
That's the way it goes
Almost doesn't count

Harry couldn't take it anymore. He moved out from behind the tree he'd been hiding behind and walked forward. "Maybe I'll be there," he started, surprising the two women. "Maybe I'll see you around; that's the way it goes right?"

"Harry, how long have you been there?" Molly said. Ginny just stared.

"Long enough," he answered before turning to Ginny. "I almost let my pride get in the way, Gin. I almost let myself believe that you were too good for me, that I didn't deserve to be happy. I almost let the Death Eaters and Voldemort completely run my life, almost let myself be afraid to love you for fear they'd take you from me the way they've taken everyone else I love." He put his hand under her chin and forced her to look at him. He studied her eyes for a moment. "But almost doesn't count."

It took mere moments for Ginny to understand what he meant, and then tears filled her eyes and she hugged him tight. "Almost doesn't count," she whispered in agreement.

A/N: As requested by MrsGrint105, here is Almost Doesn't Count from Harry's perspective. This time I gave it a happy ending, as we all know they end up together anyways, and I just couldn't think of any other place for this to go. I hope you like it. Aideen