Author: Emerith Damera

Title: Pivot Point (#3)

Chapter#: 3

Category: Angst / Adventure / Romance

Pairing: Hector / Steph / Lester

Rating: Again, nothing but language and some vague references. I think I'm losing my touch.

Summary: Steph has some questions, and Hector's journey has reached a painful place.

Disclaimer: The characters in this story (with the exception of Rufio, all mine) belong to Janet Evanovich, I make nothing from them. Just a wee bit of amusement.

Warning!! Really not much of a warning here.. Except maybe an allusion to gasp boys who like each other! snort

Ya'll should know by now I don't write for the light of heart.

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone for the great reviews. There will be one more chapter after this that I'll put up tomorrow and then Pivot's done. Painfully short I know, but you'll understand when you see where it stops. It was just necessary. And I promise I won't make anyone wait too long for the next part.

Music for this part, is rather aptly, Stabbing Westward - Haunting me

Pivot Point

3

"So that was what he wanted. Your knowledge to give the company more credibility in the industry."

Steph's voice caught me off guard and I jolted the slightest bit where I lay. Physically dragging my mind back from where it had been stuck. Imagining this very same apartment, empty of most of it's current comforts. When I walked out to leave for Miami there was a pulling, dragging sensation, telling me not to go. To just hide here in this apartment forever. Never face the real world again without Rufio at my side. All of the pain was becoming so fresh again.

"Not entirely Chica. Ranger would have us all believe much more cruelty of him than he's truly capable. Somewhere inside that armor is a man who genuinely cares about the people he keeps close to him. We happen to be three of those people." I knew Stephanie had a skewed version of who Ranger really was, and that was as much his fault as it was hers. They might have been something wonderful one day if they'd both been willing to spend more time in reality.

"He's right Steph. Ranger isn't quite the frozen hearted bastard he comes across as sometimes." Lester chimed in from somewhere over my shoulder. I felt his weight resettle on the bed, I'd never even felt him leave I'd been so caught up.

Something extremely cold and wet touched my shoulder and I jumped, swinging around as Lester held out a bottle of water from the fridge. He tried to keep that sexy little look of innocence on his face, but failed miserably when Stephanie started outright laughing at him.

I snatched the bottle from his hand, scowling at him jestingly. Trying to keep the light hearted nature of their play. Elated to my bones that neither one of them was treating me differently.

Lester and Stephanie wore matching grins as I grumbled and opened the bottle. Lester knew most of the story I was telling now. Maybe not my thoughts or feelings on it, but he had been there when it all started.

"So if that's true guys, then why does he act the way he does? Why always keep me and everyone else at arms length if he actually cares so much? Especially me dammit! He's been yanking my strings like a puppet master for so long I was beginning to think it was like playing a game of Monopoly to him." Stephanie wore her indignation like a winter coat, wrapped around her to keep her safe from harshness.

Uh oh. These are not questions I want to have to answer to Stephanie for. Never did I dream I'd get stuck explaining the complexities of Ranger to this woman. Ranger's motivations weren't even something I had a very good handle on myself. Before I could figure out a logical response, Lester's voice floated softly across the bed.

"It's not that he doesn't care about you Steph. He cares a great deal about you. However he cares more about surviving. For a man like Ranger, letting emotion cloud things could literally end in his death if it chose the wrong moment to happen." Thank you Lester for taking this torture on yourself.

"He doesn't allow himself to love because love can blind you. But not even with his ex-wife did he come as close as he did with you Steph. You've probably got a bigger part of that man's heart than he'd willingly admit exists. He's content to see you happy, and willing to bear any hurt he may suffer from it being with someone else, if it means keeping himself, and you, alive."

Lester plowed on before the look of understanding on Stephanie's face could form into a verbal response.

"Why don't we let Hector continue though. I'm interested to hear what happened in Miami. He never did tell me when he got back, but I'm positive it's worth hearing. I know we've got to be getting close now." He winked at me over Stephanie's shoulder and I fought back the urge to kiss him for answering her questions so easily. If he wanted to know about Miami, he'd know. I think I'd tell this man anything he wanted to hear at this point.

OoOoOoOoO

Lester had stood on the other side of my apartment, not even bothering to hold back the chuckles as Ella poked and spun me, trying to get my measurements.

I was already thinking of it as MY apartment. I considered that a good sign. I'd never before been so willing to think of something as my own. Possessions were overrated.

Ella had bustled in with a tray full of soup and sandwiches for lunch. She'd properly introduced herself this time, apologizing for her quickness last night. She said her boys were important to her, and she needed to be certain for herself that I wasn't going to cause them trouble before she allowed herself to like me.

She assured me an entire wardrobes worth of uniforms would be awaiting me in Miami, then finished her torture and headed for the door, stopping for a moment on her way out to turn back to me.

"You're one of my boys now too Hector. Just keep in mind, if you act up, you'll wish it was Ranger you were answering to." One eyebrow raised in exactly the same manner Ranger's had earlier in the conference room, joined by a very stern set to her features.

"Of course Tia Ella, I would never dream of tarnishing what you have all worked so hard to build here." I sent her my most blinding smile. She smiled in return before shaking her head at me and making her way out of the apartment.

Over lunch that afternoon Lester tried to prep me for what I was in for in Miami. Telling me which men on the team would be easy to get along with, and who would be best to just avoid.

I learned that the Miami office of RangeMan Inc. was handled by Ranger's cousin Macario. A man whom Lester said was tough but fair.

I smiled at him when he told me that.

"He's just like his mother then I take it, Macario?"

Lester's returning smile was as bright as my own.

"How did you know she was Ranger's Aunt?" Again Lester was impressed, but not surprised. His face wore the same mask of admiration he'd shown when I handed over the information earlier that day.

What answer should I give him? I studiously studied the carpet while I slowly comprised my answer.

"It's there faintly, in the bone structure and the coloring. But the eyebrow lift gave it away. That had to be familial. If I had to guess I'd say probably his mother's side."

"In the world I've lived in, being able to know a person's character simply by looking at them, is what will keep you alive. To know how far you can trust them, because you can never trust anyone completely, simply by their actions, their speech, their mannerisms.. It kept Rufio and I alive through a lot of rough shit."

I met his eyes across the expanse of empty couch between us.

His feet were propped up on the coffee table like he belonged there. One arm slung across the back of the couch. His face as close to open as I thought I'd ever see it.

Every time I looked at this man my heart hurt, full of memories I'd never get to recreate. The simple act of sitting around, talking with someone, was something I had only done with Rufio. Such simple everyday things were the core of what we were to each other. We were everything the other needed. Every simple joy, every unhurried thought, every flash of light keeping the darkness at bay.

I couldn't hold his eyes. My own eyes stung in a throbbing companion to the ripping pain in my chest.

As my eyes slid shut his voice echoed in my head. That helpless ten year old Rufio, begging me to run away from the foster home with him, to find somewhere better and be our own family.

I hadn't done well without him since.

Why hadn't I taken him away from LK when I came back from Juvie and found things off? Why hadn't I gone that distance to keep us together and alive?

Because no one runs away from LK. They're everywhere. No one gets out. Plenty of people get 'dropped' though. Usually by the side of a road somewhere with holes in them, unless there's a body of water or a field nearby.

I never thought I'd be able to get us both out and hidden away somewhere where they couldn't find us. I didn't have the resources to save us.

Miraculously, Ranger Manoso did, and he was offering me that way out. But it was too late to save Rufio.

That guilt was my own to bear.

"It's not your fault what happened to him Hector."

"You don't know that Lester. You don't know anything about me, or Rufio, or what we've been through. Don't presume to absolve me of sins you do not understand." I was near furious at his words, but I didn't understand why.

"I do know one thing. I know that you loved him. That much is obvious. You loved him so much that you would never have left him to something like this had you known, or had any way to control it. You're not at fault for any of this." His voice was so steady, so calm. Not only belief, but certainty backing it.

"I may not have pulled the trigger, or planned this, but I didn't save him either. I didn't step up when the shadows appeared behind his eyes. I didn't beg him to explain like I wanted to, when the nightmares started. When he couldn't sleep through the night without crying out to me to protect him." Unchecked tears rolled passed my tightly shut eyelids. Dripping to the carpet as I sat on the couch, leant forward, elbows on my knees. The fight was going out of me. "I'd wrap my arms around him every time. Hold him tight against me and tell him everything was fine, we were both safe. But it was a lie. We weren't safe. Hewasn't safe. And I did nothing to make it better."

"You did what you could Hector. Nothing can change it now, nothing ever will. I'd love to say the pain will get better, but it probably won't, it'll just hurt less often."

I stood slowly, blinking away bleary eyes as I grabbed the dishes left over from lunch off the coffee table. I made my way into the kitchen and stopped for a moment to rinse them, splashing water on my face as I let the sound of it spattering against the metal of the sink fill my head, drowning everything else out.

When I came back out of the kitchen Lester was still sitting in the corner of the couch. Less comfortably than before, but still there all the same.

I thanked him again for listening to me as I made my way to my bed. Not bothering to make eye contact. Figuring he'd get the idea. If he didn't feel like leaving, fine. At this point I wasn't sure that him shooting me in the back while I slept would be an overall bad thing. Bright new future ahead or not. It wasn't that appealing without the person who runs through your every other thought by your side.

I was flopped face down on the bed and halfway to the land of dreams and nightmares when I heard the door click open.

"You don't have to keep thanking me Hector. This isn't part of my job, and it isn't a burden. You're an interesting person. I'd like to get to know you, and this is how friends treat each other. So get used to it. I'm still going to be here when you get back from Miami."

The door clicked shut and I was enveloped in silence. Sleep blessedly taking me down before my past could roll over me again.

To be continued…