Hey Sportsfans!

Long time no see. Thank you for all the reviews. Shorty loves them all *chuckles*. This story got sidetrack due to issues in reality land but a few recent reviews brought back all the creative juices and I couldn't help myself. I have to keep writing this story. So thank you for helping me get back on track guys!

For the record, Shorty is actually a canon Autobot. I think I may have gotten his height wrong but I'm working on that one. I'm just waiting to see who can guess his real name before I reveal it in the next chapter. *waggles eyebrows*

And yes, Shorty is a macho man.

Happy Reading.

SHORTY!!!!!!!!!!!

Elina's shriek rang out throughout the house. One second she had been standing under the freezing cold spray that rained down on her from the showerhead and then the next what seemed like gallons of scalding hot water hit her smack in the face.

Leaping like a scalded cat Elina flew out of the shower stall as quickly as she could.

"Whooooah shit!" Elina almost fell as she skidded on the wet tiles of the small bathroom floor. Her arms flailed like a windmill as she tried to regain her balance but gravity won in the end and with an undignified squawk she landed on her rear.

"Grrrrrrr! SHORTY THAT WASN'T FUNNY!" Elina shouted as she pulled her soaking hair out of her eyes and quickly grabbed one of the towels that hung behind the bathroom door. God what was with that robot today? Usually he was never this careless but Elina had a suspicious feeling that he was just messing with the water heater in order to get back at her for making him clean his gears. If it wasn't for Elina's unrelenting persistence Shorty would have had no problem staying filthy. He preferred it actually. Elina did not.

"What are you trying to do? Kill me?" Elina barged out of the bathroom with only the towel wrapped tightly around her. To hell with modesty! Wet footprints followed her as she stomped through the living room and straight into the garage in a total of two dozen steps.

Back in the day when they had first moved onto the homestead, Elina's father had redesigned the house with Shorty in mind. In order to accommodate his wide girth and massive wheels the wall that normally would have separated the garage from the rest of the house had been knocked down and replaced with sliding insulated panels that could easily be moved back and forth whenever the robot felt like venturing into the house.

Most of the interior of the homestead had been cut in half in order to allow for the expansion of the garage. It had been messy work but it was necessary. Trying to house a large robot was one thing but trying to keep him in the garage was a different story all together. The renovated garage took up half the house in order to allow Shorty to have one sweet little robo-pad all to himself. The basement was none existent, having been filled years ago with a mixture of concrete and metal beams in order to support Shorty's weight for the times that he did venture into the rest of the house.

The last thing anyone needed was to have Shorty fall through the floor and screw up his internal systems even worse than they already were.

"Well?" Elina barked as she stood there dripping in the stuffy garage. Her eyes were like laser beams as she glared at the scarred robot that had wedged himself into the farthest corner of the room in an attempt to unsuccessfully escape her view.

Shorty chirped quietly to himself as he wistfully scratched the back of his neck.

Oh he was so busted.

"You think this is funny?" Elina's scowled. She was teetering on the the edge of her patience.

First the macho crap at work, then the bank statement, and now this? Oh if she had a blowtorch in her hands right then something would have been welded shut.

"Shorty you know better than that! This isn't the time for your stupid pranks so will you just quit it already? I've had it up to here with you and so help me if you pull one more stunt like that and I swear I'll beat your mechanical ass so hard they'll feel it on Pluto. You got that?" Elina's words were razor sharp and they nipped the Autobot where it hurt the most.

Shorty actually winced and curled in on himself as Elina ripped a strip off him. He hadn't meant any harm. Usually Elina would scowl and bark a bit but he knew that she knew he was just trying to pull her leg in order to get her mind off whatever it was that usually bothered her these days. After all, wasn't that what humans on those television sitcoms did to each other all the time?

Shorty let out a few muffled bleeps and hung his head.

Elina opened her mouth to blast him again but she stopped short when she saw Shorty's reaction. It was difficult for Shorty to show any form of emotion physically but after 30 years of being surrounded by and exposed to every aspect of human culture that Elina and her father could think of, he had developed a way of showing how he felt through body language as well as chirps and hums. At times he acted more human that robotic which wasn't easy for a sentient being like himself but what else could he do? Being stranded on Earth meant that he had to adapt to his surroundings and adapt he did.

His shoulder plates sagged as he idly scratched the spot where his massive drill bit was attached to the stump of his ruined right arm. He lowered his gaze so that his sightless optics were focused on the concrete floor.

"Shorty I didn't… I didn't mean that." Elina closed her eyes and sighed. She had no right taking her anger out on Shorty. She had no right to hurt him. He was her best friend. He was her only friend. He deserved better. "I'm sorry Shorty, you know that I'd…"

Shorty cut her off with a wave of his hand. His clicks were soft as he apologized.

"No you didn't deserve that. Never think that. Shorty what I said was wrong and I'm sorry." Elina said in a firm tone as she stepped towards him. Shorty heard her move but didn't raise his head. "Listen Shorty you know I'd never ever do anything to hurt you right? Right?"

Shorty clicked and nodded but still didn't look up.

"And you know why that is?" She asked him as she reached out and placed one hand on his metal arm while holding her towel tightly with the other.

Shorty hummed a response and this time he did raise his head a little.

"That's right. We're friends. And what have I told you about friends? Huh? We look out for each other. We always have each others backs. No matter what." Elina raised her hand from his arm and reached up to touch his scarred faceplate with her damp hand. She had to stand on tip toe to do so. "And it also means that when I shoot my mouth off at you, you can tell me where to shove it."

Shorty blinked as he felt her hand tap him on the broad bridge of metal that was his nose. He tilted his head to the side and regarded her for a moment, trying to decide whether or not she was being serious.

"I'm serious." Elina chuckled as she answered his unspoken question. She knew that robot just as well as he knew her and sometimes she could practically see the little metal hamster in his head running on its super powered turbo wheel. "What?"

Shorty clicked a question that made Elina sigh and shake her head.

"Why am I so mad? Well the guys at the shop are ready to run me out because they feel insecure with me being there. What is with you males and your macho pride? Wait, don't answer that. What's even better is that I got a letter in the mail today from the bank and seeing that I don't have enough money this time to pay off the mortgage payments as well as all the bills, it looks like I'm going to learn to survive off air and we'll be using the old water pump out back for a while." Elina massaged her forehead. The mere thought of the ominous bank letter gave her a migraine.

Shorty's fingers drummed against the concrete floor as he thought for a moment. What Elina had told him was bad by human standards. Money was needed in order to survive in the human world and if Elina lacked the essential amount needed, what possible ways were there of getting it?

"Shorty unless we rob a bank there is no way that I'll be able to get enough money in time to pay everything off." Elina huffed as she stepped away from the Autobot once she realized that she was dripping all over him.

Shorty's filmy optics narrowed for a moment.

"Shorty we are not robbing a bank." Elina stated flatly. She didn't have to read his body language to know what he was thinking.

Shorty raised a finger as he tried to explain his reasoning but Elina wouldn't hear of it.

"No Shorty. It's wrong and I really don't want to spend my life rotting in a jail and have you hiding out in a junk yard. That's if no one sees you and seeing that you're one really big whatever you are, that's highly unlikely okay? Remember what happened to Patrick Swayze when he robbed banks in Point Break? Yeah and I don't want that happening to us so nix the Bonnie and Clyde routine."

Despite Elina's stout refusal Shorty wasn't about to let the idea drop.

"What did I just say? N. O. means no! No way, nadda, it ain't ever gonna happen. Now I'm going to go put some clothes on and when I come back I better see you spotless and in the living room cause I'm not going to wait around for you to get all glitzed and glamed on movie night. This time I want to be able to finish watching the damn thing before I conk out." Elina gave him a stern reminder as she readjusted her towel and headed back into the living room without another word.

Shorty gave a low hum of excitement at the mention of movie night. Every Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays were their weekly movie-watching extravaganzas. Since it was the age of the DVD Elina had a massive collection of VHS tapes that she constantly picked up from the town's pawn shop or salvation army depot for about a buck a piece. They had seen most of them about twelve times over but to the Autobot it never got old. Especially if Star Wars or Rocky were on the list. Shorty could never get enough of Rocky. Rocky Balboa was the one human that Shorty personally thought had to have been an Autobot in a past life.

If there was one thing that Shorty always asked himself, it was "what would Rocky do?"

Whirring to himself Shorty made good use of the garden hose/pressure sprayer that Elina had rigged up for him as his own personal robo-shower. A little oil in the joints and a can of Turtle Wax and soon he was looking pretty darn spiffy. It didn't hurt that he played "Macho Man" on a repetitive loop. There was nothing like some good tunage to make the mundane fun. Especially when some sweet wheelie moves were involved.

Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho man
Macho, macho man (yeah, yeah)
I've got to be a macho! OW!

That was one Autobot with some serious moves.