Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, setting, or anything to do at all with the Twilight series (except for my copies of the books, but that's besides the point. I don't have any rights to those anyways!)

A/N: It helps to listen to Love song by Sara Bareilles, at least in my opinion. That's where I got the inspiration. I don't own that either!

Now, Emmett fans, please don't kill me! Bella has a temper when she is a vampire, I'm sorry, and Emmett is good at embarrassing her! Now, if you were stronger than your brother for a year, wouldn't you want to hurt him too?

Grammar freaks, keep a lookout and let me know if there's anything wrong! It drives me insane, so I need to know if I have grammatical mistakes! Please and thank you!

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Wooden Wolf

Summary: It's been twenty years since Bella has last seen Jacob Black. She is broken, unable to heal. Every night, she must be comforted by her loving family, but it doesn't help at all. The hurt fades with the light- it comes back with the dark. Can she get over her second love?

I gazed out the window idly, watching the sun set, inching, slowly away from the darkening sky. Pulling out my old picture book, I curled up on my couch, wondering why in the world I had even kept the stupid thing. It only reminded me of all the friends I had lost. It had been twenty years since I had changed into a vampire. Twenty years that I had been Bella Cullen. Twenty years since I had realized I would never be Bella Black.

I shook the thought out of my head, once again thankful that Edward couldn't hear my mind. My still heart burst out in pain and anguish. I hadn't known. I hadn't realized that Jake and I could have been happy. Alice couldn't even tell.

Edward opened the door and walked solemnly to my side. He sat down and hugged me close. He could tell I was hurting. I hurt every day, but he was the only one that tried to ease it. Him and Jasper, of course, but my brother had enough sense not to tease me about it. Once Emmett did- I slapped him across the face and nearly broke his neck. I was a newborn then, but my family wasn't very eager to see if I was still that strong.

"Are you okay?" he asked in his velvety, perfect voice. Well, it used to be a velvety, perfect voice. But once I was changed, it didn't seem so different than anyone else's voice. Just different than the humans. The humans and their dull, boring voices.

I breathed in his scent, savoring the one thing that hadn't changed. That and our love for each other.

"I'm fine. You go play video games, or whatever it is that you boys do all night," I told him gently, telling him through our special connection that I needed some alone time. He nodded and walked towards the door, his steps evenly paced and quiet. When he was nearly gone, he turned back to look me in the eye- the beautiful, molten gold eye.

"You're lying." And with that, he ran down the stairs.

I was lying. I wasn't fine. But I was never fine, so it didn't make a difference. I flipped through the book, the cold paper against my even colder hands. The pictures were happy ones, ones of my friends smiling and laughing. There was a photo of the boys throwing food at each other, with us girls hiding under the table from their onslaught of mashed potatoes and pizza. Oh, how I missed food! Not that it even looked edible anymore, but all the memories of it had me craving for the once delicious taste of baked ziti in my mouth. There was Edward, shielding me from a piece of gum Mike had thrown, all while throwing a green apple back at him. Mike was such an idiot, throwing gum of all things! But that didn't stop me from constantly missing him. I missed Angela too, and Ben, even Jessica and Lauren!

I looked at picture after picture, bringing up human memories that I had nearly forgotten. Carlisle had explained that they would fade quickly, and he was right. By the time I had turned two pictures, I could barely remember what my parents looked like. I saw the smiling faces of my family, my friends, and my home. But none of them were the faces I wanted to see. I shut the book with a snap and glided gracefully to the loose floorboard under the bed. I refused to let Esme fix it. She was at wonder why, but Edward knew my secret.

I pulled up the wood and reached into the hole. Within seconds, a picture of my second love was in my hands. Jacob Black. The hole in my heart ripped larger, as it had every night for twenty years. Pinned to the picture was the note he had sent me during my grounding. The paper was worn and creased and the raised marks the pen had left were familiar. That I remembered. I could still hear his words in my head, if I let myself. Why did my only human memories have to be so painful?

I reached in again and slipped on the bracelet he had given me so many years ago. It felt warm against my icy skin and I sighed, taking it off carefully, trying to avoiding crushing the shiny metal and the dull, unvarnished wood of a wolf. The warmth reminded me of something I had lost, and I couldn't bear that pain as well.

Wooden Wolf--------------------------------------------------------------

I chose Edward. It was very simple. I loved him and that was it. Jacob had another chance of love. Dad was so worried about Edward leaving me, but it was more likely that Jacob would leave me instead. If Jacob imprinted, he would have no choice. And where would that leave me? Alone, old, and loveless! He deserved better than me, and I wasn't going to force him to be with me when he his soul mate came into his life.

Edward and I were perfect. I knew it and I was as happy as I could be. We were desperately in love and nothing would ever change it. No girls fawned over Edward like they had in Forks- he was mine and anybody that saw us knew it. Not that it stopped the boys at all, but Edward is always able to scare them away after a few days and bloody noses.

Wooden Wolf--------------------------------------------------------------

"Bella? Can I talk to you?" Alice peeked her little head through the door. Her musical voice woke me from my internal ranting. Ready for what I expected to be a another lecture on my fashion sense, I rolled my eyes and moved my feet from the seat beside me. She sat and I noticed her eyes were full of worry and apprehension.

"What is it? Have the Volturi decided to do another check-up on me?" Aro had been sending his minions almost yearly to make sure I didn't have a power they would find useful. I was a huge disappointment to them. They had expected me to have a magnificent power that they could use to their advantage. If they hadn't, they would have killed me outright. I didn't have a gift though, and I was glad. Who wants to have voices in your head or see things that haven't even happened yet?

"No, they're still in Italy," Alice stopped, trying to figure out how to tell me this news. "Well, um, Emmett and Rosalie ran into some people today, when they went to go 'food shopping.'" We sent out a couple every week to buy food that we threw out almost immediately. We did need to buy food or people would get suspicious.

"Oh no, do we have to move again?" I hated moving. I always felt comfortable in our new location, then the humans had to ruin it and uproot us. We were in Florida then- the most unlikely place for a vampire, but I liked it.

"Oh, no, the people that we ran into don't live here," Alice was thoughtful for a minute, before adding, "If you can even qualify them as people."

"What do you-"

"I like to think of them more as canines, but it's really up to you." I gaped at her, a really rare sight. A vampire being speechless isn't very common.

"You saw the pack?" I was shocked. Why in the world would they be here? Were they looking for us? How had they found us? I mean, it's not everyday that a bunch of vampires go to live in Florida, whether they kill humans or not!

"No, just Seth and his wife. He imprinted," my sister told me. Seth had imprinted? Wow, I had missed so much! The last time I had seem Seth was the night he and Quil had turned up on Charlie's doorstep looking for Jake. He ran away, only to return three weeks later, through a lot of coaxing from Sam, and if I had heard correctly, some threatening from Embry and Paul. It was too late for me to say good-bye. I had changed. Then a thought came to me head. The thought was so sickening I couldn't bear it. Did she really mean Seth?

'Who imprinted? Seth- or him?" I choked out, my curiosity begging to know, but my heart begging not to. Alice knew what I meant. Sadness clouded her eyes and I knew that he was gone. His love for me had just been a childish crush, and I was through. Just a year in his life he had wasted for an old family friend.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. I dashed to my secret place and hugged the picture to my chest. Dry sobs escaped from me and before I knew it, I was crying louder than I had ever cried as a human. In a flash, Edward was by my side, with Jasper and Emmett in tow.

He rubbed my back and pressed me close. I burrowed my head into his chest, trying to calm myself down before Jasper hyperventilated from my emotions. I could already see him going stiff.

"Hey, Jasper, if you don't want to have a freak out, I suggest you calm me down," I advised him. I was shocked when he abruptly shook his head no.

"Why not?" I demanded. Why couldn't he calm me, like he did practically every night when I broke down? My brother never denied my calm when I asked for it!

"Bella," I was surprised to hear Emmett's voice comforting me this time. "You need to face it now. If you don't, it'll only get worse." I nodded, upset, but understanding. My breath was back and my body was no longer racked with sobs. I stood from the soft, warm rug and walked towards the window, where night was ending. The boys took their cue, and filed downstairs silently.

Wooden Wolf--------------------------------------------------------------

Why couldn't I have both? Sure, it was selfish, but nobody would be hurt then. I could have both my loves, and both my loves could have me. I could be Mrs. Black and Mrs. Cullen. It wasn't fair! I stamped my foot angrily and added a dent to the many dents on my bedroom floor.

Did you just stamp you foot? I thought girls only did that on TV!

His voice flooded my head. I smiled at the rough, husky tone and the hole in my heart closed just a little. I knew it, I was going crazy- more hallucinations! Didn't I already go through that with Edward?

He would never be yours. The little voice in the back of my head, the monster's voice that led me to drink blood, told me. You might as well kill him. Get rid of your hopes and erase the dreams. Plus, you'll satisfy that craving you've been having. You know you're thirsty!

No, I couldn't kill him. He's just imprinted! He'll have a family soon! I couldn't tear it away from him. Yes, I was thirsty. The feeling clawed at the back of my throat, but it was numbed by my heart ache. I hated the monster within me. I couldn't stand the torture that I was meant to endure for the rest of my life.

I suppose I know what Edward went through when he thought I was dead. There's no going back now. I have it better off though- I still have him, and my memories will fade eventually.

Wooden Wolf--------------------------------------------------------------

Sunlight filled the room. Night was over and it was time to get ready for school. The tedious routine everyday. It was boring, it was uneventful. Maybe if I had gone the other way it would be interesting. Maybe I would have a job and children to look after.

But how could he love me? A girl that's dated, proclaimed her love and has agreed to marry a vampire? He did though. He saw past it. He's also moved on. He's gone, he's imprinted.

I won't deny that I am in love with Edward in every way possible. But that doesn't mean I don't miss my best friend, disgusting dog or not.

Wooden Wolf--------------------------------------------------------------

I put the picture in its place, my fingers tenderly brushing the last real proof that I had ever met him. Pictures can be Photoshopped, notes can be forged- but that bracelet was something he made with his bare hands. It has his scent. It's an atrocious scent by all means, but a scent nevertheless. It didn't matter anyhow. Morning had come and it was time for our human charade to begin again.

School was school. A couple of guys hit on me, Edward scared them off, I nearly gagged on the smell of the cafeteria food (that attracted some attention, but it didn't make a difference because the food was apparently inedible to humans too), and I forgot about the hole in my heart. I always did- the hurt came as soon as the sun left. Maybe that's why I insisted on moving to Florida next. It was ridiculous, but even Rosalie wouldn't object when I got angry. Especially after I nearly knocked her husband's head off.

About mid-day, during Biology, Edward got the oddest look on his face. Like the one he had the first day he met me. A rush of panic filled me- had he moved on? But then I glimpsed Alice from the edge of my eye and saw her in a dreamy state. She faked sick and Edward led her out of the room. A vision. They didn't have time to tell me what it was, so I was condemned to the rest of the day alone. That includes Gym! In all honesty, I had fun playing the terrible athlete, but it was boring without the others there to laugh with me. They didn't come back, so I rode home with Rosalie.

"Why did they leave?" I fretted, playing with the tinted windows of the car. "Is everything okay? Is everyone alright?"

"I don't know, Bella." Rosalie was worried too. "Can you not do that? You're going to break it!" I stopped and put my hands in my lap. She had become a lot kinder over the past two decades and we were like sisters now. I wasn't as close to her as I was to Alice, but we were getting there. Then we passed a dead deer and cut off our lungs. Road kill was not worth getting into a frenzy about. Our conversation ceased as we drew nearer and nearer to the house and our breath ran short.

She pulled up the driveway minutes later and we glided in silence into the kitchen, where we could hear Carlisle and Esme discussing something. Nobody noticed our entrance. I almost wished I was klutzy again, so I could trip over the threshold and get their attention. I huffed a sigh of irritation, then gasped at my attitude. I was acting like Rosalie! I loved her, but I was not like Rosalie! In my gasp, a horrible smell filled my lungs. It was familiar and it was painful- Jake.

There he was, sitting at the table, talking to my mother and father-in-law! It was like they had totally forgotten that we had the enemy in our house. He heard me gasp and turned around. His face hadn't changed a bit. His scent was the enemy's, but his face was a long lost friend.

"Jake! What are you doing here?" I threw myself at him, giving him as hard of a hug as I possibly could with out crushing his bones. Mind you, it wasn't much of a hug to me, but it was nice to wrap my arms around him. He was warm and it felt good on my marble body.

"Hey- Bells- um- could you-" he gasped, his arms around me awkwardly.

"Bella!" Carlisle snapped and I jerked away, surprised at the suddenly strict tone. He only used that when one of us were out of control. The last time I had it used on me was when I was a newborn and tried to rip Emmett's arm off during an arm wrestling match. It's not like I have anything against Emmett, though! He's just good at aggravating me. "Sorry, sweetie, but he was starting to turn blue." Oops. And to think that it used to be him that nearly strangled me!

'Jacob, why did you leave? I didn't even get a chance to say good-bye!" My chest hurt again, but I didn't care. This was a happy hurt, one that ached with joy.

"I left because of the invitation! He just had to rub it in my face didn't he?" Jacob started to shake before taking a deep breath and calming himself down. "Sorry," he mumbled to the floor.

"He sent you one?" I had deliberately told Edward not to! Oh, was he going to get it!

" He sent a note, saying thanks for taking care of you and how he would've wanted the option if you chose- the other way," he choked out, still not looking me the eye. "I was in the area, you know, on vacation and stuff, and thought, well, maybe I should return the gesture."

"Bella," Esme grabbed my hand comfortingly and turned me to see a young girl, yet older than me. She looked about twenty. Stupid, non-changing, vampire body. I felt so little next to her! "This is Julia. She and Jacob… well, you probably understand by now."

She was right. I did understand. This was the girl Jacob had imprinted on. They were getting married. They were inviting me to the wedding. Was he trying to kill me? I mean, perhaps I could handle the wedding itself, but with all the werewolves and people there? Edward always said I'd make him be the first vampire to ever get a heart attack. I wasn't so sure about that anymore…

Julia smiled shyly and held out an envelope. "Jacob's told me all about you. He's even shown me pictures. But… wow, I wasn't expecting you to look like this."

"That's because I'm a vampire now," I spat out, attempting to frighten her at least a little. She looked a little more shy, but not scared. "I drink blood. Jacob's job is killing people like me," I added just for affect.

"Yeah, I know," her voice was soft and smooth, the exact opposite of Jake's. It seemed to fit with his perfectly with his. "He's told me all about it. Though… he said he didn't kill vampires with gold eyes."

Oh no. This girl was nice! If she was mean, I could hate her, but she was so sweet and innocent! I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to avoid my problems the Jacob way.

I ran.

Wooden Wolf--------------------------------------------------------------

Esme and Carlisle yelled for me to come back downstairs. Their shouts were soon joined by Jacob's and Rosalie's. Within seconds, Edward's roar joined into the noise.

"You brought her a WEDDING INVITATION?? You idiot! She's not over you yet! She hasn't been able to get through a week without freaking out!"

"Yeah, well, it's not like you didn't do it to me!" Jacob screamed back. I raced to my floorboard and pulled out all my treasured items. The picture. The notes. The bracelet. I clutched them tightly, but not too tightly, and listened to the argument in the kitchen.

"It was a mistake! Come on, aren't I allowed to make mistakes?"

"Aren't I?"

"Yeah, but you're also supposed to learn from your mistakes AND mistakes of others!"

"Don't get all deep on me, leech!"

"DEEP? That's not deep, that's common sense! I thought dogs were supposed to be intelligent!"

"BOYS!" Carlisle's voice rang out, quieting the house in a split second. "That's enough! Edward, didn't I send you back to the school to stall Bella until this whole mess was cleared up?"

"Yeah, bloodsucker, did you disobey Dr. Fang?" Jacob taunted. "What's going to happen? He going to ban you from blood for the next month?"

"Shut up, mutt, this isn't the time for that! Carlisle, they were gone! I tried to get back to warn you, but Rosalie likes to drive faster than me." Edward accused. Actually, he had lost his love of speed driving when his Volvo was totaled in a slight accident between my old truck and trying to drive too fast. The truck was still in the garage. So were the remains of the Volvo. We had a funeral. It was hilarious- Edward was mourning a car! If it were possible to make a car into a vampire, I think he would have done so!

"She is such an idiot. She chose this speed-obsessed, dangerous, reeking leech over me." I heard Jake mutter. If I had been human, I wouldn't have been able to hear it if I tried, but now it came to my ears as clear as day. I heard a scuffle of chairs and a strangled scream and I guess that Edward had heard it too.

I raced downstairs, dropping the objects on the floor. I was met with the sight of Edward pinning Jacob to the wall, and Jacob struggling to get out of his iron grip.

"Don't you ever insult her again!" Edward growled venomously. He was going to crush him, I knew it, I had to do something!

"STOP!" I shrieked. Edward let go and Jacob dropped to the ground. I couldn't take it anymore. It hurt too much. Seeing Julia there, watching the scene in shock, and Jacob looking back to her with so much love in his eyes was killing me. "Get out! Jacob Black, get out of my house! I never want to see your face again in my existence! Get out!"

"But- it was-" he spluttered, pointing to Edward. I gave him an icy glare and he shut up. I was determined to hate him. After all, hate was a lot easier to handle than love. Maybe it hadn't worked with Edward, but it I could certainly try it with Jake.

I turned to my husband and gave him what he deserved.

"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen!" He winced at the use of his full name. "I thought you knew better than that! I cannot believe you would let your temper get the best of you! Especially because of something a filthy-" I gulped and forced the word I had promised myself to never say out, "mutt said!"

I whipped around to see Jacob looking shocked and nervous on the floor.

"Didn't I say to get out?" I hissed. He leapt up from the floor, took Julia's hand gently, and led her out the door. He didn't look back. Julia broke away at last second and turned to me, sorrow in her eyes. She was wearing a gold necklace. It had initials on it- they weren't Jakes. She set the invitation on the counter and rushed out the door. I knew she understood the struggles. She had been torn too. She had to make a choice.

Wooden Wolf--------------------------------------------------------------

That night was the last time I cried. Jacob was done. He was through. He had a new love that he deserved. I burned the pictures and the notes. It didn't make a difference, I had memorized them anyhow. Plus, I was sure that Edward had copies somewhere, just in case I needed it one day. I destroyed anything that had to do with him. I scrubbed the seats of my old, unused truck until the blood stain I had left from the motorcycle incident was gone. I hid the bracelet, out of my sight, out of my reach. It was time to move on with my life, as I was sure he had. The next night I snuggled with Edward, watching cheesy vampire movies that had it totally wrong, until dawn, breathing in his scent and not once breaking down.

I went to the wedding, but stayed in the background, out of sight. My dad was there, as well as some old friends. I couldn't risk being seen. I said a quick hello to Sam, Quil, Leah, and Seth and ran off before they could realize that a vampire had just been pleasant to them. I congratulated the bride. I ignored the groom. I left a nice wedding gift though- a marble salt and pepper set to remind them of them of me and my family. It was hard and solid, just like us. I stayed around to watch them open it, standing just outside the windows. It was wonderful, like a little inside joke between us. The couple had laughed when they saw who it was from. Nobody else understood, my dad least of all! He did look a little hurt that I had dropped by and not said hello, so I left a note in his mailbox. I made up the names of some children and rambled on about a job I didn't have. It was enough to make him happy.

There is just one thing I keep with me at all times to remind me of my second love.

A little wooden wolf.

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A/N: So what do you think? I'm not going to beg for reviews, but I do like feedback and constructive criticisms. Just please don't forget the constructive part! (sorry for any format problems, I'm new to this!)

I love Edward and Jacob, but Bella and Edward are meant to be. That's why I had Jake find some happiness here. Next chapter Jake gets even MORE happiness- he's with Bella!

Now for the third part, Bella will choose neither. Should she get another guy or not? I have ideas in my head, but… I want some opinions. Let me know in a review, please!