"Those? What do you mean 'those'?" Naruto turned his questioning eyes to the blonde member of the Sand's team.

Temari was standing in front of her brothers, pointing a finger at a dozen or so horseless carriages.

"The…carts…?" Naruto squinted at them, trying to see what was so special. "OH, MY DAMN! The-they're moving on their own!" He pointed hysterically at the full carts that were, in fact, moving towards the castle.

"They are!" Sakura shrieked and hid behind Sasuke.

"What are you two—stupid?" Sasuke took a step away from Sakura, who had the most defeated look on her face—'st…stupid….' He pointed in the direction of the carriages.

Or, more likely, the things pulling them.

"Can't you see the horses?"

"If you could even call them that…." Kankuro added, staring blankly at the…thingies.

"They're called threstrals." A dreamy voice called out to them. "And I take it you can see them too…." Luna looked around at the group of ninja, who in turn looked back at her. She smiled when her eyes met Sakura and Naruto. "You two are lucky though, I guess."

"What do you mean…lucky?" Kakashi asked her.

"Only those who have seen death can see them." Rachel answered as she walked over to them.

"Where were you?"

"Over there." She pointed towards the train.

"Why?"

"Cuz'."

"…."

"So, who can see them?" Rachel asked. Most everybody in they're group raised his or her hand. "Who can't?" More hands went up. "Ok, so Naruto, Sakura, Ga—Gaara, put your hand down!"

He lowered it….Slowly.

"Come on everybody," Kakashi waved them towards him. "It looks like the carriages are leaving…."

**

"Whoa…."

"This place," Kankuro rubbed the back of his neck, "it's huge."

They had entered the castle. The fifth-years were now filing into the Great Hall.

"Excuse me," an old woman held out her hand to stop the team from entering. "Mr. Hatake, I presume."

"Yes, ma'am," Kakashi signaled for other ninjas to halt too.

"I must ask that you and your…companions step in line behind the first years. We must sort you, but only enter when you are called upon."

"I understand, but what is this sorting."

"It's the schools way of dividing us base on personality and decision-making," Rachel answered for him.

"Based on the abilities and status of the four founders, the students of this school have always been proud of their houses." Sasuke continue,

"Show-offs."

"What did you call me, oldie!?" Rachel stepped in front of Kakashi. "You want to see showing-off?—I'll show you showing-off! Naruto!"

"Yeah."

"Gryffindor."

"Huh?"

"You're house is Gryffindor. Sakura, you and Temari are Ravenclaw. Kakashi, Kankuro, Sasuke, and Gaara all have Slytherin."

"My child," Professor McGonagall touched her shoulder, "how can you be so sure?"

"I…just can."

"Well," She smiled, "if your assumptions are indeed correct, I might have a word with you afterward."

**

They waited in the hallway for what seemed like an eternity. The old fart that ran the school just dragged on an on with his "hellos" and "how do you dos". But if that wasn't aggravating enough, some disgustingly sugar sick voice interrupted him for about eleventy-gajillion minutes with her "this school sucks" and her "I'm gonna do to you what 4kids did to Yu-Gi-Oh" (not…that I watch that show…). It was painful. As painful as—as painful as listening to Light Yagami go on and on (and on and on) about taking over the world and spanking—I mean, kicking L's ass along the way! That's how insufferable it was!

"…And, as many of you may have noticed," we could hear the old man speaking again. "This year we are, once again, going to be hosts of a few talented students from a school that is, in many ways, unlike our own. This time, however, the students will not all remain together—they shall be integrated into houses, just like the rest of you." The hall was filled with whispers and protests. "Quiet down now, children—we must not be rude." The doors began to open. "Please join me in welcoming the best of the Land of Fire!"

The thunderous applause was enough to startle them. (Not that they showed it; they be ninjas!).

"Now," the old brunette from before greeted them when they reached the head table, "to sort you." She read Sakura's name from the list and then handed her the hat.

Hat-wearing Sakura jumped.

"What is it?" Kakashi whispered to her.

"I-it…it can talk," She whispered back.

"Well, of course I can talk. How else would I sort you?

"I guess I was wondering that too, but I never considered the possibility...."

"Yeah, yeah—that's what they all say…. Though I can't judge you for you magical ability, your intellectual genius has put you in…RAVENCLAW!"

McGonagall took a small step back, probably from shock. After a moment though, she called out Kakashi's name.

"Where to put you…?"

"Hat, if I may ask you a question?"

"What?"

"Who goes into Slytherin?"

"Pure-bloods, people of high status…."

"That doesn't sound bad."

"Selfish, egotistical, megalomaniacs—those who think highly of themselves."

"Well, then obviously this is not the place for m--"

"SLYTHERIN!"

"WTF, dude!"

Next was Gaara:

"SLYTHERIN!"

Gaara stood up and walked back over to the group.

"What did it say to you?"

"…Nothing."

Then Kankuro:

"Don't put me with Gaara."

"…Why not?"

"He'll kill me."

"Such a selfish boy…."

"Yes, he is. I can't stand him."

"No, I meant you—SLYTHERIN!"

Temari:

"I'm sorry, child, but it seem as though the hat cannot fit on your head."

"Her head is that big?" The hat sounded taken aback. "By all means—RAVENCLAW!"

What?

Rachel:

"Where to put you…?"

"Was that a rhetorical question, or do you really expect me to give you an answer?" Rachel whispered to the hat on her head.

"…I guess it could be both…. Where do you want to go?"

"Hufflepuff," She answered excitedly.

"Why the hell—that the last place I'd put you!"

"Wh~y?" She found herself whining.

"Hufflepuff is a house for people who think with their hearts. They base most of their decisions on feeling alone."

"Is that your way of calling me heartless?"

"Yes." (Ouch)

"…What about Gryffindor?"

"I couldn't agree with you more."

"Is that your way of calling me stupid and impure!?"

"Where the hell did you get that from!?"

"Well, Ravenclaw is only for smart people, and Slytherin is for pure people."

"That's not completely true."

"But the Ravenclaws—"

"No, you were right about that—you are too stupid for them."

"…Ass."

"But the Syltherins' aren't all pure. They're pure-bloods, but not pure. Do you understand?"

"…Not…completely…."

"And you wonder why you're not in Ravenclaw--GRYFFINDOR!"

Sasuke:

"I hope you don't honestly expect me to believe that your perfectness is a result of a thousand years of incest! Your mother was your father's what now!? I mean, yeah, I can understand that spinny eye thing of yours being a recessive trait, but—but come on! You shouldn't be handsome, you should be deformed! Deformed and retarded! Your existence alone will give people a false sense of security on the dangerousness that comes from having sex with their mothers!"

"Are you done now?"

"…Yes…SLYTHERIN!"

Naruto:

"Now…this fox of yours—can it speak?"

"Don't call me an it—I'm a male."

"Yeah…. Well, I can't exactly put you in Slytherin with that. Not that I was even thinking about it in the first place. You think with your heart and always put you're friends lives before your own—a Hufflepuff trait. But then there's that braveness and sense of loyalty that shines so intensely within you. After all those years of loneliness and suffering, you still remain strong…. I honestly can't decide between Hufflepuff or Gryffindor for you. You'd do good in both."

"What about where Ms. Sakura went? Can't you put me in Raven—"

"—I really can't decide…. Wait, that seer in your group, did she tell you anything?"

"She said something about me in Gryffindor, but I really want to go to Rave—"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

***

To be continued…later

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