Being an Excerpt from the Journal of REBAKAH COOPER
Provost's Guardswoman, the Lower City. Corus.
July 8, 247
I've not written a while acos I've been getting used to walking my Watch in Corus again. It's odd. Every night, I start my watch with Goodwin, which is good, because I get her when it's not so bad. Then, she and I have lunch with Tunstall and Ersken at the Sunlight and Shadow (which is a new favorite place for Dogs on the Night Watch). Sometimes we walk as a team of four for about an hour other times, we swap partners right after we finish dinner. Then I finish my Watch with Tunstall. Which is interesting, because it forces him to be the serious one and me to be the 'nice partner.' It makes Tunstall grumble. Whereas, he's all camaraderie with Ersken. Ersken tells me Goodwin's usually right sour after dinner, because she'd rather let her food digest, and not go around chasing Rats.
I've been getting used to it though. That first week back, all four of us went to go collect the Happy Bag. The week after, Tunstall and Ersken did it before dinner. Then Goodwin and Ersken did it after dinner last week. This week, it's me and Tunstall getting the Happy Bag, after dinner. Boy, is going home to go to court a mess. One time I ran upstairs and when I came back down I was surrounded by Rushers. Kora had to make 'em go away and leave me be. Rosto (he wasn't being the Rogue at the time) told them I lived upstairs and that they were right to keep their eyes peeled, but should use their brains too. "If no one is up there, what does it matter if the Young Dog goes to her room? Or into anyone's room for that matter?"
Well, like I was saying. This week Tunstall and I get the Happy Bag, and that was tonight. The walk there was normal and quiet. Tunstall had his eyes peeled, but was asking about the cook we (read: Rosto) hired for The Dancing Dove. It's nice to know the tavern has a name, but its still odd. Oh, pox, where was I again? I swear, I'm starting to sound like Tunstall. Right, Tunstall was chatting, but his eyes was peeled. I was listening to him chatter, but I had my magic ears on alert, being as I wanted to be able to hear any violence on the air.
Since it's high summer, the door to The Dancing Dove, is propped open, but there's always a Rusher sitting by it. Tonight it was Bold Brian, whom I greeted with a nod. Being as I was Guardswoman Cooper at the time. Tunstall always gives me looks when he and I are near Rosto/The Rogue. I think he's picked up that I'm different when I'm Beka and when I'm Guardswoman Cooper. We stroll in and there's Rosto sitting on his throne. It really is a comfortable chair. I sat in it once when he wasn't there. But that's aside from the point.
Just as soon as we walk in, some young cove from another district comes up to the dais without permission. Ideally, we as DOGS, should have been the first to approach the Throne of the King of the Court of the Rogue, being as we have a standing appointment with him every week. But, like I said, this lad came up, without permission. He looked to be about fifteen or so, which was rather young to be a Rat. Most Rushers wait till they've had their full growth before they attempt becoming thugs. He had reddish-brown hair and green eyes.
Just as I'm watching, I see Rosto's eyes flash from Rosto to Rogue and I know violence is about to break out. "A challenge for your throne, Majesty." Says the lad, calm as you please. Like he was asking about the weather, not picking a fight with a hardened Rusher like the Rogue.
The Rogue (for it wasn't Rosto anymore) nodded and stood, gracefully standing from his Throne. "As challenged, I pick weapons and set the rules. Daggers and hand to hand, no Shang fighting," the Rogue says, stretching leisurely, his eyes scanning the crowd.
"I hear the lad's a strong fighter. He was taught since he was young to handle a dagger. His da' was a Rusher under Kayfer. Very good." Tunstall murmurs in my ear. Kayfer was known to be brutal once. But Kayfer is dead. And by the sound of it, so is the lads da'. But that don't mean the lad ain't good. I can see his muscles and his daggers under his tunic and summer leggings. When I look back, I see the Rogue watching me. I remember that I am Guardswoman Cooper. You care who is the Rogue. But you don't care about him. Let's see how the lad does. I look away, feigning boredom.
The Rogue and the young cove prepared to do battle, a few Rushers clearing out a space in the middle of the floor. Tunstall and I took a seat near the door. Unlike the cove, the Rogue left his boots on, but shed his outer blue-violet silk shirt in favor of the sleeveless black one he wore under it. He pulled a dagger from his belt, and waited for his challenger to initiate the attack. After a moment, the challenger surged in, slashing his dagger at the Rogue's throat.
The Rogue ducked and brought his own blade up under his opponents guard. The red-head knocked the Rogue's blow away, and slashed at his arm. Blood started to pour from the place where his dagger had sliced the ivory cream skin of the Rogue. The Rogue (ye gods, I'm so tempted to just call him Rosto, but I know it ain't him who's fighting!) The Rogue, skirts sideways, checking the wound quickly before flicking another dagger out of a wrist sheath, which was in plain sight without the silk shirt. With a sharp flick of the wrist, the Rogue sends the dagger flying towards the red-heads shoulder.
The red head dodged, but not fast enough to get completely out of the blades way. The sharp edge of the dagger clipped his shoulder, and he yelped. I know how sharp those daggers are. I sharpened half of them myself. Not that I sharpened them for the Rogue. But for Rosto. Oh, pox, forget trying to explain it. I get it. I think.
Anyways, I wasn't Beka, I was Guardswoman Cooper, and all I could remember, was eyeing the two men, and observing who was the better fighter in terms of skill and form. The Rogue, obviously. But that's because the Rogue not only has years on the younger red-head, but also he's got moves hidden up his sleeve. Moves he showed off once before when he thought no one was watching.
The red-head rushed in, letting his temper get the better of him. The Rogue, keeping his head, stepped out of the way, and Red ran right into a table. That made a few folk mad, being as he'd rammed straight into their ale and wine. Red rushed in again, anger flaming on his face. The Rogue was far too relaxed and didn't expect Red to come at him with a fist instead of a dagger. E slugged him, punching him hard. The Rogue reeled back, throwing his dagger up as a shield.
Before the Rogue had a chance to recover, Red surged toward him again. The Rogue grabbed his dagger before it plunged into his heart. Oh Gods! Rosto be careful! Beka squealed somewhere in the back of my mind. They grappled for a moment and Red knocked the Rogue's feet out from under him. They fell to the ground, the red-head on top, his blade jerking dangerously close to the Rogue's eye, making it start bleeding.
As a last attempt the Rogue jerks his wrist free, sending the pommel of his dagger into the Red-heads chin, in an almost perfect nap-tap. Right at that moment, the red head lunges with his blade towards the Rogue's throat, narrowly missing his jugular, but still getting a good amount of blood in the meantime. The lad passes out from the nap-tap, and the Rogue gets up. After weaving on the spot for a moment, the Rogue glances at Tunstall, who turns his gaze away, and then the Rogue (I can't believe Rosto would be so uncouth, I can't) And then the Rogue slits the lads throat, killing him instantly.
The Rogue staggers back to the dais. "Aniki, take over. I've got to go to a healer," he murmurs She nods, but doesn't move from her seat. Even Aniki knows better than to sit in Rosto's throne, though she is Queen of the Rogue.
"Pox. I was hoping to deal with HIS majesty. Not Aniki. She's a tough mot and a pinchpenny if I've ever seen one." Grumbles Tunstall, getting to his feet. I follow him to a standing position and Rosto passes me, as I'm by the door. He stumbles a bit and Beka (not solid, uncaring, Guardswoman Cooper) but I as Beka, reach out a hand to help him stand.
"Get away, doxy," he mutters at me, and I jerk my hand back. He wipes up a bit of the blood from his eyes, and I can feel my mind slip back to Guardswoman Cooper. I know my eyes are pools of ice, the kind that make most folk shiver and look away. We stared at each other for a moment, and then he mumbles, so only I can hear: "I'm sorry, Beka." Then walks unsteadily out the door.
As Beka, I guess it's safe to say that I wasn't really mad. Not really. Rosto knows that I'm not really a Doxy. And he wouldn't call me that, not on purpose. But I can't help feeling insulted by it, as Guardswoman Cooper. No one calls a Dog a Doxy. Not even the Rogue. He'll have some explaining to do, as Rosto or as the Rogue, either way, if he wants to get back in my good graces.
We get the Happy Bag from Aniki, and I let Tunstall handle it. Being as he's been doing it for a while and being as The Queen of the Rogue doesn't really like Guardswoman Cooper. Oy, what a mess. While they are negotiating, I watch as two Rushers carry the lads body away. I don't even know his name. I wonder if they'll leave him for his mother to find, or just dump him in the Olorun. I dunno which is worse. Still, I say a prayer for the lads soul. Being one of those who serve the Black God, I find its my duty to beg the God to help the red-heads soul find peace. A mot Rosto's hired as an in-house cleaning woman, comes in with a mop and a bucket of water. First Cold, to lift the blood away then hot, to sterilize the floor. Rosto's floors are polished so shiny, very little blood manages to seep into them. Just a little between the cracks. Still, it's the first blood spilled in the Dancing Dove.
After that, we hand over the Happy Bag, finish out our watch, and meet Goodwin in the Cesspool. She's got a band of robbers, only about five, in her hobbles, and Ersken is chasing down another. I hare after them, running to help Ersken. We hand over all five men to the Cage-Dogs. All in all a usual evening. We muster out and I'm achingly tired. It wasn't a hard evening, not physically, just mentally. Beka was battling Guardswoman Cooper the whole time The Rogue was battling Red. When I come back, all I can hear in my mind, is my Beka half grumbling about a nice quick wash and a soft bed.
Just as I'm finishing with my washing and I'm about to sit down and write this, there's a knock on my door. I know that knock. Rosto. Very well. What does the master Rat want now?
"Of what service can i be for you, master Rogue? Or are you Rosto now?" I know my words are mean, and they cut him. I can see the hurt in his eyes. He's already gone back to being Rosto. But I need to remind him of what he said. I am not a Doxy. Nor will I take being called one.
He winces, remembering his words and says, "I guess I shouldn't have called you a Doxy."
"No I guess not." I tell him coldly. He's standing at the door and I'm observing his wounds under my lashes. I'm not letting him in. "You don't have to insult Guardswoman Cooper to let folk know you don't like her. Ignoring her works just as well."
"Well. I try not to insult Guardswoman Cooper, being as she's got this creepy eyes that belong on a ghost or sommat. They just give me the willies. But in all honesty, love, I dinna realize it was you, being as I had a river of blood pooling down my face." He responds.
I melt some when he calls me 'love.' Which he really shouldn't do, being as I'm still talking for Guardswoman Cooper. I give him a look that says 'that's no excuse' and look away. Miffed.
He touches my chin and turns my face to look at his. "I'm sorry. Even if the Rogue isn't." Which is about as much apology as he's gonna give me. And about all the apology Beka needs. Though Guardswoman Goodwin is in the back of my mind muttering something about 'reparations' and 'honor-killings.' His apology is followed by and uncomfortable moment of silence, as I let his apology sink in.
Being as I don't want to let him in just yet, until I'm completely Beka in my mind, I take another good look at him. He's got a new scar. The scamp. He's going to ruin his face with those scars. I reach up and touch the scar on the side of his face. "The Rogue is ruining Rosto's good looks" I murmur and I can see his eyes twinkle. Laugh at me, well here's sommat to laugh at for you. " And his good hardwood floors." I add with mischief. He winces at that.
"Aw, Beka. Can't you be nice to a cove who just had to fight for his life? I could use some comforting, not criticism." He says with a cute whine, trying to nudge his way through the door. I let him in. Just because, he's all Rosto, and I'm all Beka.
"Yes. You poor lad. You just had a healing so you must be grumpy and tired. Go and lay on my bed. Spending the night at my side will make you feel better, just like it did in Port Caynn." I tell him, giving him a motherly nudge toward my mattress
"We didn't have much fun in your bed when I was hurt in Port Caynn." He's grumbling, acos he seems to know we ain't going to Canoodle. Which we ain't. Being as we're both tired and grumbly from today. Which really has been a long day.
"Some other night Rosto. You need to rest to help your body heal. And I'm Dog-tired." I tell him with a sigh, sitting down to write all this. And he's been watching me while I write. I know it's Rosto, acos I can see it in his eyes.
I always have to watch Rosto's eyes when we talk. Whether it's me as Guardswoman Cooper or as Beka. Sometimes his eyes will tell me Rosto. Sometimes his eyes will tell me Rogue.
I wonder if he does the same thing. Does he know when he speaks with Guardswoman Cooper versus Beka, just by looking at my eyes? Do they go ice hard? Do they freeze him? Make him shiver with fear? When he's a Rogue, does he view me as a threat, just by looking at my eyes? Can the Rogue tell when he's speaking with Beka? I know he's not the same when he's the Rogue. He'd kill Guardswoman Cooper. Would I respond with equal violence toward him? And if Beka, not Guardswoman Cooper, but Beka begged him to stay his hand, would he do it? Would Rosto hear my plea and force the Rogue to mercy?
And when Rosto looks at Beka? When he looks into my Beka eyes, what does he see? Does he see how much I care about him? How much I love him? How much I despise the Rogue but Love Rosto?
He's right there. I could just ask him. Cracknob that I am. I won't. We've had this discussion. I, Beka Cooper, love Rosto. Beka fears the Rogue. Guardswoman Cooper sees Rosto as an informant and the Rogue as someone whose throat she'd like to set her teeth into and shake him senseless. And I know how both Rosto and the Rogue feel about me as Beka and Guardswoman Cooper. What a horrible mess of feelings. Oh this is all so confusing.
Rosto is looking at me. His eyes, his Rosto eyes, are warm and tender and inviting. I give him a look that's equally warm and (I hope) just a little bit sultry. He is in my bed after all and we're both in our summer sleeping clothes. I think tonight it's time to cuddle and make his bruises feel better. No canoodling. We're both too tired for it. But Cuddling should be alright.