Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers... this is HasTak's swimming pool, I'm just floating around in it for a while.

Author's Note: This was an idea spawned from too much tf2007fun on Livejournal. Don't take ANY of it completly serious, because I'm just doing this as a means to entertain myself and those that read it. These are suggestions mostly from those on Tf2007fun.. Have at em kiddies

Warning: Slight slash and mention of smex... BeeSam

Humanity For Dummies: Autobot Edition

1. Alcohol

Bumblebee watched in apprehension as Sam teetered on his feet for the 30th time that night. The boy, no, the man was seriously inebriated, well past the legal amount. He winced when said 21 year old (as of 3 hours 5 minutes and 29 seconds ago) practically tripped over Lennox, who was sitting on the floor. He giggled, staring up at the ceiling.

"They're being very reckless..." came an agitated voice from beside him. He turned and saw Ratchet's hologram glowering at the group of Drunken humans that congregated in the rec room.

"It's a special occasion." Bumblebee stated.

"So I've heard– Sam's 21st birthday– but what does that have to do with alcohol?"

The blond hologram shrugged his shoulders, he really didn't know, and he didn't even try either.

"It's an age thing I guess." He sighed in exasperation when Sam suddenly realized there was a mop leaning against the wall and proceeded in proposing to it. Both holograms watched in detached amusement.

"Think it will say yes?" ratchet asked, barely concealing a smile. Bumblebee snorted.

"Possibly, can't be any worse than Captain Lennox shouting at the top of his lungs that his life's goal was gaining immortality by way of quantum physics and burnt toast... I don't think he even knows what quantum physics is." Ratchet laughed at that one.

"True.. Why would they want to get drunk when they're just going to feel it tomorrow anyways? I understand hangovers are deadly."

Again, the blond shrugged, but when Sam's hazy eyes gazed at him and he gave Bumblebee one of the sexiest lopsided grins in the history of grins that Sam gives bee ( he was keeping track you know) he couldn't help but wonder if the alcohol would change his human's libido as well. Ratchet caught the look.

"Oh for Primus' sake!! You're all the SAME!" and with that, he walked off muttering about alcohol and sex driven sparklings. Bumblebee only grinned.

BWUAHA! I had to do it, it was too good to pass out. As for the mop thing... my step dad did that, then realized he was already married and proceeded to tell the broom that it just wasn't going to work out. Reviews are apreciated but not mandatory!!