AN: I am soooooooooo sorry!! I know that I have no excuse for putting off this story for so long. It has been what? 7 months! Ugh. I don't know what happened, I just have been busy with drama. I hate my friends. But oh well. I couldn't figure out what to write next for this story, so I will just go with it. Here I go.
But first, thanks to all the reviewers:
Alittlefaithinme2, vimpvic, Cheskaz, clumsy like bella, Siera-Cullen, MrsKellanLutz, geekyguirl, LexyCullen4Eternity, Eryn, Chapter-Thirteen, greenlibragirl, obsessededwardcullenluver (twinnnn!), indigenously, Hey-Hay13, barbiedoll123
On with the (VERY) belated chapter:
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Chapter 5: Tears Filled With Sorrow
Previously:
Dear Bella,
I wanted to say I am deeply sorry. I will see you soon, my love. I promise, and this time, I mean it.
Be safe, my love,
E.
I choked. I couldn't breathe. Could it be?
Edward Pov
Me and Alice could only stare at each other. Could it really be that simple? Could Bella make it that easy?
Yes. It could be that simple. Bella could make it that easy. She was coming to Forks. All we had to do was go back. That was all.
Simple really. Now the last question:
Could I get her back?
Not so simple. Not simple at all from what Alice could see.
Bella Pov
I had drowned out Molly and Eryn. Vince, Matt and Tyler were all just background music. All I could focus on was keeping the hope bubbling up inside of me from consuming my entire body. I couldn't let him get to me like this. He wasn't even here and I had to make sure I breathed.
How could he have such a strong effect on me? What had I done to deserve him back in my life? I don't know if it was a privilige or a curse that he was back in my life. Either way it was a miracle.
3 years. It had been three years since I last saw him. Even though, he was always on my mind. Not even drama with the band, not fan letters, not happiness, nothing could block his face out of my mind. It was like a permenent screensaver over my eyes.
Every time I closed my eyes, for sleep, for tears, for laughter, for pain, those golden eyes would pierce my soul. Stopping me dead in my tracks. Stopping my heart in the process.
How many times had I cried over him? How many times had I considered suicide? How much longer would I continue to suffer?
After everything he had done to me…for me, I couldn't believe anything. Not even myself. I couldn't trust anymore. I couldn't love anymore. I wish I couldn't cry anymore. But I can. Because of him. I forced myself to say his name.
"Edward."
I said it so quietly that no one paid any attention to me. Good. They couldn't see me like this. I could tell that my face was twisted horribly in pain. My hands clenched my sides as if they thought they could hold me together. They couldn't. All I could do was stop the tears from overflowing. Edward. My love. My savior. My heartbreaker. My murderer.
He saved me. He killed me. No matter what, I couldn't trust him. And that killed me. Not as bad. Not as bad as when he killed me. It wasn't. Nothing was as bad as that. But bad enough.
Why did he have to do this to me? Why did he have to come back? No matter what I told myself, I knew what would happen. When he found me, I would fall at his feet. I would do anything to be with him again. And when he left me again, I would die. For real this time.
I slipped the card in my bag, and smelled the rose. It smelled like him. Maybe it was my imagination, but the rose sent me over the edge. His smell, so untainted…so heartbreaking. I slipped the rose that reminded me of my own heart into my bag as well.
And the rest of the way to Forks, I thought of the pure white, innocence, of the rose. Dripping with black blood of sorrow, and surrounded by painful memories. That was my heart.
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Behind the stage at Forks High School
Well, here I was. Behind the stage at my old high school. The place where it all started. Everything. My life where it was now, this is where it began.
I hadn't talked to anyone. Not even Eryn. Meaning that she didn't know what was going on, and that upset her. She got upset easily, but I couldn't bring myself to care that she was screaming in my ear about how I couldn't trust her, and how she told me everything.
I couldn't care. Because I was going to sing my new song. The song I wrote on my way here. It summed up my feelings perfectly, and I had a feeling that he would hear it.
Edward.
Sigh. Eryn was still yelling. I turned my head towards her. I saw her cringe, but I, again, couldn't bring myself to care that I frightened her. She once told me that my 'look' made her want to shrivel up in a hole and die. I didn't know what she was talking about, but I finally realized what she meant. She meant my emotionless face. The one where I couldn't, if my life depended on it, be happy.
And before she could say anything, we heard Jessica's voice over the intercom.
"And our Bella Swan, has come to sing for us today, as Isabella Swanson from Pieces of Paper!" she shouted. She was the exact same she was 3 years ago. Still peppy, still able to rally a crowd. She was good with people, as you could tell by the applause.
I stepped forward and walked onto the stage. As everyone got into position, I convinced myself to be happier. My inside peptalk was running through my head.
When the music started, the lights dimmed, and I said my dedication.
"This song was written for the man who saved me. The man who murdered me." Then I looked up into the crowd and finished, "I hope your listening, because Edward, you're my world. Forever." And I heard the crowd gasp, my classmates, as they realized that it was Edward who inspired these songs. Everyone figured it was someone else, that I couldn't be so torn up about him. But I was, and saying his name, out loud, to the camera in the back, filled my eyes with tears.
So I sang my heart out, belted out the lyrics to my soul, to all of my classmates that knew Edward. And I did it with my face dripping with sorrow.
My hands are searching for you This fire rising through my being I'm alive, I'm alive I can
feel you all around me My
hands float up above me The music makes me sway I'm alive, I'm alive I can feel you all
around me And so I
cry I'm alive, I'm
alive, I'm alive I can feel you all around me Take my hand I can feel you all around
me
My arms are outstretched
towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind
my lips for you
Burning
I'm not used to seeing you
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding
on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing
And you whisper you love me
And I begin
to fade
Into our secret place
The
angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are
too with you
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what
I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing
The light is white
And I see you
Thickening
the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring
this heart that's healing
I give it to you
Now
you own me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I
believe you
I believe
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm
feeling
Savoring this heart that's healed
When I had finished the song, I looked up, and my eyes locked with the man who wrote these songs on my heart.
"Edward."
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Review.
-Edwardjustproposed