CH 15: The Not So Great Escape

Author's Note: I thank you all for waiting for me to get off my ass to do this chapter. Without you all, I would be nothing. And now, after the long wait, here is chapter 15 of My First Vacation. Enjoy ~

Akon sighed, dropping his shoulders as he finished his presentation. In front of him sat Captain Yamamoto, his wrinkled expression unreadable. Next to him stood his own Captain, his face set in a more legible frown. Flanking him on both sides were the rest of the Captains, their eyes staring him down intently, busying themselves with trying to digest his words. Closing his laptop, he tucked it underneath his arm swiftly, waiting for the reaction he was certain he would get. He didn't have to wait long.

"So what you're saying is that idiot Kurosaki thinks he could just … babysit them all on his own?" Mayuri spat out the words, annoyed beyond all reason. Akon nodded, Mayuri folding his arms angrily. "All while they have their little gigai to cause trouble in … Akon, make a note that we have to obtain one of those to study." He did, writing a note down on his hand before responding.

"He said he was certain they were not there to cause any harm to the Humans or pose a serious threat to Soul Society. Personally I don't think any sane person would believe him, but there wasn't much I could do in convincing him otherwise."

"Of course not. He is more hard headed than some of the lazier Shinigami here" Hitsugaya said, sighing. "One of the many traits about him that I find annoying."

"If we let him have his way, we are all surely doomed" Soi Fon added, her brow furrowed slightly. "There's no way we can allow this to happen."

Yamamoto interjected with a loud huff. "That child thinks he can just have 10 Espada under control all on his own. While at the same time, he's allowing them to wander free without letting us take proper precautions. If they were to turn, there is nothing he could do to stop them."

"What do you suggest we do Captain Commander?" Shuuhei spoke up for the first time since he had given his report on the group of Espada he had followed earlier that hour. He took a small step forward, separating himself a little from Akon's side. Yamamoto thought quietly to himself for a long while.

"We will establish a monitoring system whether Kurosaki is aware or not. If he is right in them not wanting to fight, we will not purposefully aggravate them and instead survey them under wraps. No Shinigami is to engage in battle with them unless it is absolutely vital to the lives of Humans and to us as Soul Society." Kenpachi groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Great, there are Espada out there and I can't fight any of 'em."

"Well..." Ukitake lifted a hand, smiling slightly. "I believe if Kurosaki has his head on straight, which I'm sure he does, then there is no doubt that there isn't anything to worry about so early."

"We aren't talk about puppies, Captain" Byakuya retorted. "The Espada are dangerous and could turn on him any second. Whatever he thinks they're doing, it'll be easy for them to go against that. It's best to keep a survey on them, regardless of their current 'humanitarianism.' "

"You may not believe in his judgment, but I do."

"He's only a child. His judgments are horribly skewed." The room fell silent for a moment after that, all Captains turning to look at Yamamoto for his final word.

"As I said, we will monitor them that a close, undercover proximity. You are to explain none of this to Kurosaki, should you run into him, and everyday those who are chosen to monitor them need to report back with new information. That is all." He brought down his cane, the knocking sound echoing throughout the room and signaling that the meeting was over. There seemed to be a collective sigh from everyone as they began to disperse, a nervous air about them. Just as Byakuya had said, there weren't dealing with something harmless. They were dealing with one of the few enemies they had that could potentially disrupt the very existence of the Human World and Soul Society. And since they had recently been put under the rule of Aizen, there was no doubt the task of stopping them would be easy. What they would need was something or someone who could outmatch their power and force them to submit.

Unbeknownst to them, a small county jail cell seemed to be doing just fine with containing at least one Espada.

.::.

"Nnoitra, I don't think it's wise to be taking photographs."

"Are ya kiddin' ? I've been waitin' ta get this kinda dirt on that bastard for years! I'm never gonna let him live this down!"

"Ulquiorra's right you know." Nnoitra brought his camera down, sneering at Halibel. Not only did the fact that she was a woman with a higher rank annoy him, but lately she had been agreeing more often with Ulquiorra than she ever did when they were working. Maybe Ulquiorra had been talking more often? It sure seemed that way.

"Yeah? And how is that?" he asked, challenging her. She met him with a domineering stare.

"Grimmjow won't stay in that cell forever. Once he's out, he could try and kill you." Nnoitra laughed loudly.

"As if! If he really could kill me, he would have gotten out of his gigai and done the job already. Or at least he would have attempted to anyway. Ranks or not, I'm still stronger than him."

"I told you I can't !" Grimmjow yelled, his arm out between the bars in an attempt to strangle Nnoitra. The lanky man was unfortunately well out of his reach and continued to exploit the advantage with more pictures. "There's some stupid strange reiatsu in here that won't let me get outta my gigai!" Aporro blinked.

"Hm? Strange you say?" He walked forward towards the bars opposite of where Grimmjow stood and stuck a hand through them carefully. He held it there for a moment before withdrawing it back at his side. "He's right" he said, turning to look at the others that crowded the bench. "There's something wrong with this cell."

"No shit" Yami said. "It's got Grimmjow in it."

"Was that supposed to be a joke ?" Grimmjow growled, gripping the bars tightly. "Once I get outta here, you won't have the rank to back that shit up!"

"Who says you'll be able to get out?"

"That's right Grimmjow ~ " Gin said in a sing song tone. There's nothing any of us can do to get you out. It would involve stepping in there with you, which would subsequently get us trapped in out gigai's as well. Likewise, if we were to get in without them, there would be no way we could get you out because you'd still be stuck in yours."

"Well is there any way you can become useful fer once and figure out why this cell has this stupid reiatsu?" Grimmjow muttered angrily. "I know it's not supposed ta be that way."

"Oh that's no mystery." Ichigo stood up from his relaxed position on the wall next to the bench, his arms crossed casually. He walked next to Aporro, his grin aggravating Grimmjow more than it probably should have. "I put it there."

"What ?"

"Would ya stop yelling already? I want to still be able to hear when I get home tonight."

"How the fuck did you manage do that? There's no way a brat like you could have done this on yer own !"

"That's because I didn't." Ichigo rolled his eyes, bringing down his arms. "I got help from that scientist that was following you in the park this afternoon. It was right after you guys told me I couldn't follow you back home until you got things 'sorted out'." Grimmjow gave him a blank look. "...the one you found me in the bush with."

"The guy with the horns I ran into? He's a Shinigami too?"

"You actually physically ran into him and you couldn't tell he was a Shinigami?" Aaroniero asked in disbelief. "How aloof are you?"

"Shut up! At least I'm not a walking fish bowl!"

"Ha! Says the dickhead who got his cover blown and is now behind bars he can't get out of ~"

"The only one who's gonna blow anything around here is yo-"

"Enough." The two stopped, turning to look at Ulquiorra. "Your bickering is going to get us nowhere."

"Tell me about it ..." Ichigo mumbled, rubbing his ear with his pinky. Ulquiorra turned to him next.

"Kurosaki" he said flatly, the one in question jumping a little from the stare. "How did you manage to trap Grimmjow?" The others, including Grimmjow, waited to hear an explanation. As happy as they collectively were that their most self destructive comrade was safely behind bars, the unknown technique intrigued them and they wanted to know how it worked. You know, for future reference. Nervous, Ichigo stuttered a bit, taking a few steps back.

"E-Er, well … you see, I don't really know the mechanics of it. I just knew how to set it up because of what that Scientist told me."

"What did he say?" Tousen asked.

"Um … well let's see ..." Ichigo took a moment to think, bringing his head down so he could at least attempt to get away from the stares. "He said … it was a device that would have a selected section of compressed Spiritual Pressure. Whoever would be in it would be immobilized. But you know … since it's you guys, they figured it would just keep you in a harmless state by trapping you in your gigai were you to step inside it."

"How did he know Grimmjow was gonna be in a cell ~ ?" Gin asked, frowning thoughtfully. Halibel shook her head.

"He didn't need to know; that type of device sounds like it could be used in any situation, confined or not. Grimmjow just happens to be conveniently stupid enough to have it be used right away."

"Hey!"

"Wow Grimmjow" Ichigo snickered. "I thought I was the only one around that hated your guts that much. Good to know my hobby isn't unique."

"Just wait until I get out." Grimmjow muttered darkly, glaring at all of them. "Yer all gonna be sorry."

"How cute ~ He's trying to threaten us ~" Nnoitra said in a sing song tone, resuming his photography.

"Don't get so cocky Nnoitra" Tousen reached over, swiping the camera from the taller Espada. "We're going to get him out. It would be a disservice to everyone in this prison to keep him in there."

"Tch, it'll be a bigger disservice to us if we do."

"Well if yer gonna get me out, go ahead and do it already!" Grimmjow looked around in his cell, sneering. "This place is givin' me a rash."

"We will come up with a way to get you out." Tousen continued. "For now, just sit and wait."

"Can I help ?" Ichigo suddenly blurted. Tousen stopped and quirked his eyebrow, causing Ichigo to shrink back a bit out of embarrassment.

"I suggest you stay out of this, Kurosaki. It will not do well for either of us if Soul Society learns of your efforts to aid us in any way. It's bad enough that they are aware of our presence here - " He shot Grimmjow an annoyed look. " - but we wish not to make it worse." Ichigo frowned, nodding.

"Yeah, okay. I get it."

He along with the rest of the group turned to leave, Grimmjow growling but nonetheless accepting the circumstances. Standing in place for a long while, Ichigo looked down at the ground. He could feel Grimmjow's eyes on him and eventually looked up to meet them. For once, he couldn't read the man's intentions. His eyes were blank almost, but held a sort of questioning look to them. His voice startled him.

"Well ?"

"Well what ?"

"Ya gonna get me out er what ?"

Ichigo scoffed. "The hell makes you think I'm gonna do anything ?" This time Grimmjow grinned, leaning his shoulder against the bars of the cell.

"I can see it on yer face. I know ya like me too much to keep me here ~" Blushing furiously, Ichigo turned away from him and quickly walked out of the room. Grimmjow could only look smug.

…

"I was hoping you could help me with something."

"Again?"

"Well yeah … I mean it's great you could help me before and I figured you were the best at getting people out of tight situations so …" Akon stopped typing, crossing his arms in curiosity.

"I'm listening." Ichigo fidgeted, trying to come up with the proper way to ask for help. He didn't want to come off as desperate or anything, but that pretty much was the only way to describe how he was right now. Of course he didn't have to be there to ask the man for anything. It was all on his accord and the Espada were smart enough to come up with a solution to the problem without him. So why was he even bothering helping them out? Swallowing his pride, he failed to notice his own face turn slightly pink before answering.

"Grimmjow's in jail, as you probably already know …"

"I do."

"And the others are trying to get him out of it …"

"Understandable."

"So … I was wondering if you could help me help them help him out of jail." Akon furrowed his brow, trying to dissect Ichigo's soft and heavily spaced words. Unfolding his arms, he rested his cheek against his knuckles.

"Did they ask for this help?"

"Well … not in those words exactly."

"If the others didn't ask for your help, I don't see why you're going through all this trouble to do things yourself. It's kind of the opposite of what Soul Society wants." Ichigo huffed, frowning. Even in his angry state, Ichigo took an extensive amount of time to find the least incriminating words that would hide any subconscious thoughts he wanted to hide from the older man.

Spoiler alert: He fails miserably.

"W –Well I mean … it's not like I'm doing it because I want him out. I just … think he would be better off not being in there by himself. N – Not that I want him to be around me either ! He has the other's for that and uh … yeah."

Akon tilted his head up a little after Ichigo's attempts at the English Language, grinning.

"Ah ~ I see. So the Shinigami has fallen for the enemy ~"

"It's not that!" Ichigo protested, growing a deeper shade of red. "I just don't want him to cause more trouble than he's worth!" The scientist shrugged, waving him off. Returning to his laptop, he began to type something unknown.

"Alright lover boy, I'll see what I can do for your boyfriend."

"SHUT UP!"

.::.

In what could only be described as a mass roofie, thanks to a highly concentrated dose of amnesia smoke (or whatever that bunny thing is called that Rukia used on Ichigo's family. Seriously, that thing doesn't have a name yet), the whole district of Japan had forgotten who Grimmjow was and what he had done and the world was right once more. That wasn't to say it was easy though. The man he had killed was still dead and leaving the crime scene as it had been, the evidence would still lead back to Grimmjow. So while the district was busy sleeping off its medically induced hangover, the other Espada painstakingly erased any evidence that could convict him; all done reluctantly of course.

Now, a week after everything had happened, the Espada visited the jail one last time, waiting for Grimmjow to emerge a free, albeit righteously accused, man. Collectively sitting in the jail wait area, they listening to the distant voices approach them from down the hall.

"The city deeply apologizes for this severe inconvenience …"

"Yer damn right ya do!"

"As promised, your reimbursement money will be sent to you over the course of the next year."

"Whatever dude. Just get yer shit together, a'ight?" Eyebrows slightly raised, the group watched Grimmjow round the corner and step into the room they were in, a rather small looking guard following him. He hadn't had time to change yet, so he sported the usual jailer jumpsuit. As expected, he had pushed the sleeves up to mimic his Espada uniform. He was far from happy when he started to hear the partially contained laughter. "Shut the hell up ! I didn't choose ta wear this god-awful thing !"

"Ya look like even more of a douche than you usually do ~" Aaroniero snorted. "And that's saying something." Grimmjow narrowed his eyes, but chose to take the high road. He would have a chance to murder the fishbowl later. Instead, he gritted his teeth and walked passed them to the exit. Eventually the other's followed him, their snickering trailing as well. After a while it died down, due to the lack of response they were getting from their teasing. Halfway home they stopped at a restaurant, allowing Grimmjow to fully change into his normal attire. But because he decided to light the jumpsuit on fire in the trashcan, they didn't have time to order any food before running like hell.

Eventually things quieted down and their slow walk resumed. They would have used Sonido to get back home, but something about the walk was comforting to them. It seemed more natural some how. Also it kept them from losing sight of Grimmjow.

"So what's on the agenda ?" Grimmjow asked, not bothering to hide the fact that he didn't give a shit. Ulquiorra pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket, reading it.

"We have resorted to taking odd jobs every day, each of us responsible for picking at least one. Today it was Aporro's turn."

"So what did you get huh ?" Yami asked, not so gently nudging the smaller scientist. Aporro stumbled a bit, before regaining his footing and answering.

"It's a babysitting job."

Grimmjow moaned. "Aw what ? I don't wanna babysit kids !"

"Well you're going to do it and like it" Barragan grunted, glaring at him. "You got yer ass in jail. It's the least you deserve." The group unanimously agreed.

"Whatever ! How long is it for anyway ?"

"Just for tonight" Ulquiorra shrugged. "It shouldn't be that hard, even for you." Grimmjow rolled his eyes. Pissed off or not, he never backed down from a challenge.

"Just watch me."

.::.

A few hours later, the group found themselves at home, their company having already arrived. Ulquiorra found it strange that the men who delivered the children were wearing white lab coats, but decided that if the other's didn't notice, it probably wasn't that big a deal. Pushing aside that little detail, he fell into step with the others and looked after the children. Or at least, most of them did anyway.

"I don't wanna do this anymooooooooore…" Tousen's eye twitched, him slowly reaching his breaking point as Grimmjow's whiny tone broke through the partial silence once more. The blue haired Espada sat slumped in a chair, his cheek squished against his palm that partially supported it and his eyes half lidded. At his feet were two babies, both on their backs as they stared up at him dumbfounded.

"Stop complaining" Tousen said, almost as an order. "You have yet to contribute anything to this job." Grimmjow rolled his eyes, shifting positions to sit back in the chair.

"I fed them, didn't I?" he retorted, trying to defend himself. Next to Tousen was Halibel, trying to pry the hand of the baby she had off of her braid.

"You forgot to feed them and when we confronted you about it, you bullied Yami into doing it for you." Grimmjow scowled at her.

"It got done, didn't it ?"

"If you insist on not doing anything, I suggest you leave" she retorted, getting tired of the baby she had in her hand and placing it down on the blanket with the others. Scoffing, Grimmjow stood up and stepped over the babies to get out of the crowded room.

"Good riddance. You were quite annoying anyway." Everyone froze. The voice was distinct, but unrecognizable. Looking around, everyone tried to find the source of the voice, when it spoke again. "I'm right here on the floor, thank you very much." Slowly, they their attention to one of the babies on the floor, it's face set in a toothless grin.

A long silence followed, eventually broken by Grimmjow. "Is there a gas leak in here or did I just hear that kid talk?"

"Uh … I think it's a gas leak" Nnoitra tried to confirm. "Everyone knows little brats can't-"

"Talk?" They all jumped when the baby spoke again, this time it's judging stare directly on them. Sitting up on the pink rug, it stood up without effort and began to brush itself off casually. "Of course we can talk you idiotic buffoon. We were expected to form full sentences by the time we were a few hours old." Grimmjow and Nnoitra sneered at the baby, fists clenched.

"Well normal children aren't like you, Chucky! How did ya learn how ta talk?" Grimmjow barked. The baby raised a thin eyebrow at him before moving to dress itself with the clothes it found in the duffle bag close by.

"The strange thing is, I don't know. All I know is that is what is expected of us back home."

"What's home fer ya?" Nnoitra asked, snorting. "Planet Possessed?"

"It's a laboratory in England. Surely you know where that is, yes?" A long silence. The baby sighed, shaking its head. "No matter, those are only small details. We have come to destroy you and enslave the Human Race." This time, Ulquiorra scoffed.

"You're grossly underestimating who you're talking to" he replied, the others grinning around him. "We are not mere Humans."

"Any kind of offense you're planning couldn't possibly harm us" Halibel added, folding her arms across her chest. The baby puffed up its chest, trying to intimidate Gin who was approaching him to no avail. Crouching down to the baby's level, Gin smiled and poked its protruding stomach underneath corduroy overalls.

"That's right ~ Now why don't you be a good little baby and – gah!" Before Gin could finish his sentence, the baby snarled its teeth and jumped on the older man's head, latching itself on by gripping his hair in a death vice. Reeling back, Gin struggled to get the baby off him, all the while the others jumping from surprise. "Get off of me ya little bugger!" Tousen stepped forward this time, grabbing the baby by the head.

"Release him." He commanded, though the baby still held strong even after Tousen gave him a few good tugs. Getting frustrated, Grimmjow intervened, pushed Tousen out of the way and managed to pry the baby off Gin's head, throwing it across the room before it slammed into the wall and slid to the ground.

"Where the hell do ya get the nerve huh?" he demanded, Gin checking himself over behind him. "Do ya know who yer fuckin' with here?" After a second, the baby stood up unfazed and brushed itself off. He snorted.

"I don't think you are aware of who you're dealing with." His gaze shifted to the area behind them. On cue, the other toddler on the blankets began to rise to their feet and hover gently, eyes aglow and teeth barred. As the Espada turned to face them in order to take in the horror of what was about to become World War III in their house, Grimmjow was able to sum up their pants shitting crisis in one word before all hell broke loose.

"Fuck."