Date written: Sun 9 Dec 2007
Authors: Starway Man and Nodakskip
Emails: theop at kew dot hotkey dot net dot au, Nodakskip at aol dot com
Disclaimer: We don't own anything to do with Buffy or Angel, Joss et al. owns all of that. Those parts of this story taken from the show episodes belong to the various writers in question. All references to James Bond and the relevant books and movies belong to Ian Fleming, Albert "Cubby" Broccoli and United Artists. We get nothing by writing this, except maybe some kind words of encouragement and a few cheers...well, at least hopefully.
Warnings: Character death, some violence and sexual references are present in this fanfic.
Rating: R to be safe
Symbols: " " indicate speech, ( italics ) indicate thoughts, and ( bold ) indicate translated words
Classification: AU, Crossover
Setting: BtVS Season 4
Main characters: Ensemble
Feedback: Yes please!!!!!
Acknowledgments: Thanks to Buffyworld for making available the various show transcripts. Thanks too to Greywizard and Francis Eugene for beta reading this, without their invaluable input it wouldn't even be half as good as it is now.
Summary: Cordelia was never supposed to come back to Sunnydale after Graduation. But what if, thanks to Xander, she did?
Title: A Simple Twist Of Fate
C: "Why are these terrible things always happening to me?"
X: "Karma!"
(Cordelia Chase and Xander Harris, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER)
"Ah, youth. Is there anything more magical? A time of first loves, great discoveries..."
(Lorne, ANGEL)
G: "And this charming motto of the line, 'the world is not enough'. You do not wish to have the right to it?"
J: "It is an excellent motto which I shall certainly adopt."
(Griffon Or and James Bond, ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE)
Part One: Homecoming
Shadyhill Cemetery, Sunnydale, California
September 26th, 1999
10:00 pm
Buffy Summers, Sunnydale's resident Vampire Slayer, was talking with her best friend Willow Rosenberg as they sat around waiting for a vampire to rise from its grave. The blonde Chosen One was semi-complaining, "It's been one heck of a slay-heavy summer, Will. My bad, but I haven't had a whole lot of time to think about life at UC Sunnydale."Willow nodded, examining the course booklet she had brought along tonight. "It's exciting, though, isn't it? Buffy, we're finally starting college!"
"Yeah," Buffy was quick to agree. "It's just, y'know, gonna be a bit of an adjustment."
"Yeah, 'cause it's like five miles away from where we used to attend high school. Totally uncharted territory," Willow said with an extra big dose of sarcasm.
Buffy decided to change the subject. "It's too bad Giles can't be librarian there, like in the days of yore. That woulda been convenient."
The redhead nodded, thinking about Buffy's former Watcher. "I saw him just the other day, actually. He said that he's enjoying being a gentleman of leisure."
The Chosen One wrinkled her nose. "Gentleman of leisure? Isn't that just stuffy-speak for being unemployed?"
Willow couldn't argue with that. "Uh-huh, he's pretty much just a slacker now."
"Speaking of slack, have you heard anything lately from Xander?"
Miss Rosenberg frowned. "No. Just a few postcards here and there." She then recalled, "Before he left on his road trip, he did say that he wasn't coming home 'til he'd driven to all 50 states."
Buffy giggled. "Did you explain about Hawaii?"
"I wanted to, but he seemed so determined. Besides, impending apocalypse with huge Mayor-snake and all."
Buffy nodded. "Well, I hope he gets back soon. It'd be good to have the whole gang back together." She turned around to look at the grave, apparently unaware that the vampire had already risen and departed off into the night. "Is this guy ever gonna wake up?"
Underneath Lowell House, UC Sunnydale, Sunnydale
September 30th, 1999
3:01 am
Freshman year had started, and Buffy had found that college was pretty much just like high school, once she had finally gotten out of her first-day funk and kicked the ass of an undead bitch named Sunday. The rest of Sunday's gang had been annihilated as well, apart from one survivor who'd been captured by three masked men with tasers and tranq rifles, and brought down to their lab.
"Retinal scan accepted," a computerised voice said as a green laser beam flashed across the trio's eyes.
One of the men said, "Requesting access to the holding facility."
"Initiative vocal code match. Special Agent Finn, Riley. Identity number 75329." The computer unlocked the door and the men carried in the unconscious vampire before removing their masks.
"Man," the African-American named Forrest Gates said. "Am I glad to finally get that thing off. How the hell did Batman and Robin ever stand wearing them all the time?"
The comparison was somewhat apt as he and his fellow agent, Graham Miller, handed off the bloodsucker to the nearest convenient lab-coat. The underground research facility was huge, very much like the Batcave, as men and women scurried about. The operation was still fairly new though and some parts still weren't fully operational yet.
"Ow!" yelped a technician as sparks flew from what looked like a blaster weapon.
"Be careful with that! We still haven't received the new models we were promised yet," the woman in charge named Maggie Walsh said sharply, unconcerned about her minion's physical health. Walsh spied Riley, a typical corn-fed Midwestern All-American poster-boy, and so she rapped out, "Report, agent."
Riley instantly came to attention. "Our first patrol went just like practice drills, ma'am. Sweep and search, thorough and fast. We bagged ourselves a HST, a hostile sub-terrestrial-"
"I know what a HST is, agent," Maggie snapped.
"Sorry, Dr. Walsh. But we got the job done and we're ready for more," Riley Finn said proudly, looking at his teammates.
Finally Maggie allowed her grim demeanour to vanish. "I'm glad to hear it. All right, brief Teams B and C on your mission, we'll be sending them out next. Because from what we know, gentlemen, this area of California is crawling with the hostiles. Thus, according to our mandate, we need to start cleaning up the neighborhood fast."
The truth was, though, it mattered nothing to this woman that the Initiative's mandate of protecting U.S. citizens was as much a priority as harnessing the power of the supernatural world for the country's military interests. In her mind, Maggie Walsh had worked too long and too hard, fighting for every penny of funding, kissing up to too many generals and too many Congressmen, to ever let a little thing like that stand in the way of her own ambitions.
Maggie dismissed the three agents before she headed off to the classified area known as 314. Her work on the prototype known as "Adam" had barely begun.
UC Sunnydale, Sunnydale, California
October 25th, 1999
2:15 pm
Buffy Anne Summers had definitely known better times in her life thus far.
There was that business of having her soul sucked out by her former demon roommate, the so-called "Kathy Newman". Luckily for her, Giles and her friends had reversed the spell and her dad had dragged the undercover demoness home. But the real horror was learning Cordelia Chase had returned to the Hellmouth.
Xander had finally arrived back in Sunnydale not long ago, which was excellent news of course, but he had brought his ex-girlfriend with him, and that was not nearly as excellent news. The pair had subsequently moved into an apartment together thanks to some help from Cordelia's cousin Tim, and there had been nothing the Chosen One could do to convince Harris what a bad idea that was.
A nasty fight had taken place between Miss Summers and Miss Chase over what exactly the brunette's intentions towards Xander were, and why precisely she had returned home with him. Right now Buffy couldn't stand the fact that a) her best male friend was shacked up with an obnoxious bitch, and b) since Xander had been in Cordelia's company for the past three months and they hadn't killed each other yet, he wasn't likely to ditch her anytime soon.
( Maybe Willow's right. I just gotta be a big Buffy, suck it up and deal, ) the Slayer thought to herself. ( But that doesn't mean I have to like it. Or her. )
And as if things couldn't get worse, Buffy had learned that Spike, a.k.a. William the Bloody, was back in la Boca del Infierno as well.
A slayer of two Slayers, this particular British vampire was a thorn in Buffy's side she honestly hadn't been expecting to ever return to Sunnydale. The Chosen One had believed that after his drunken fiasco last year Spike really did go off to South America to find his sire, Drusilla, and those two would have made up or something. Instead he had turned out to be the boyfriend that the busty blonde now-soulless vampire known as Harmony Kendall had been boasting about when they'd all met during a college party at the Wolfhouse.
( What does Spike even see in that tramp? ) the Summers asked herself as she walked to her afternoon class. Then she frowned in distaste. ( Probably the exact same thing Xander sees in Cordelia. Ugh, men. This world would be a much better place without 'em! )
"Well, don't you look good enough to eat?" a male voice with a horribly familiar accent said, just before a fist in her face made Buffy see stars.
The Slayer ended up on the ground while Spike stood above her – somehow, impossibly – right in the middle of a beam of sunlight. Buffy jumped up, and after a few pointless quips and banter, they fought until her stake was embedded into the British vampire's heart.
( What the hell-? ) Buffy withdrew the weapon and watched the wound on his chest heal right in front of her. ( And he's standing in the sunlight. How? )
"The Gem of Amara, pet." Spike boasted with a grin as he held up his right hand containing a green gemstone on a ring, an artifact that made any vampire immune to the weaknesses of the undead. William the Bloody then backhanded Buffy viciously, whereupon she hit the ground once more. "Official sponsor of my killing you."
He vamped out and went all out for the kill. A terrible battle took place until the Chosen One finally managed to side-slip a roundhouse, pin the arm, and yank the ring off Spike's finger. Spike's face instantly contorted into a visage of pain. He started to smoke and burn and scrambled off screaming in agony, only just making it down into the sewers before erupting in flames.
"Another time," the Slayer said to herself wearily, putting the Gem away and looking around for the rest of her stuff. "Another time, Spike, I promise you."
Her limbs aching, Buffy Summers finally limped off to class. ( Now, what do I do about this Gem? )
Outside the Bronze, Sunnydale, California
Later that night
Cordelia Chase stared at the nightclub which, during her high school princess days, she had held court in so often it had almost become her home away from home. The young woman knew that eventually she would have to go in there and face her ex-minions, but she wasn't sure if tonight was the best time to do that.
After all, just how was she supposed to weather the scorn from her rich acquaintances? It was a big step down for her, going from Queen C to one of the peons she used to ridicule in the old days. ( God. How did I even get here? )
It was an interesting question, to be sure.
Cordelia had left town with her former classmate Xander Harris, taking him up on an offer to drive to Los Angeles so that she could save some money on bus fare. Sometimes the brunette found it difficult to believe she had even accepted the offer, but Cordy had to admit to herself she had been feeling slightly less hate for her ex-boyfriend back then, especially after his 'apology' at the Prom.
It still didn't mean all had been forgiven in Miss Chase's opinion, and to her eternal consternation, her life had actually begun to suck more after leaving the Hellmouth and not get better as she had naturally assumed it would.
Cordelia and Xander had eventually arrived in Los Angeles after quite a number of mishaps, and the kindness of strangers in Oxnard. Cordy had subsequently tried to break into the movie and TV business as she'd always longed to do. With Xander's help she'd landed a role in a play, thinking it might be her big break, a chance to get discovered.
And for a while, things had been looking up...
Unfortunately though, the play had closed after less than two weeks when it was discovered the male lead was heavily into drugs and one of the supporting cast got arrested for the assault and battery of a prostitute. The negative publicity, along with her complete lack of acting talent, effectively finished off Cordelia's showbiz career. Everyone who was anyone in Hollywood started treating Miss Chase as if she was a leper.
At that point Xander hadn't been able to leave LA and just abandon his ex-girlfriend to her fate, just like previously he hadn't been able to depart the City of Angels and continue with his road trip. The so-called White Knight simply couldn't leave one of his girls in the lurch like that, even if Cordy no longer considered herself to be a member of that group. A practical young woman at heart, once she'd gotten over the trauma and accepted that she wouldn't be making any money as an actress, Cordelia had finally given in to the continuos impassioned pleas from Xander that they should just go home to Sunnydale.
"Cordelia? Oh my God, it's really you!"
Miss Chase whirled around. "Aura," she stated carefully, not sure what sort of reception she'd get from this particular individual.
The dark-skinned girl quickly grabbed Cordelia into a hug though, usually a sure sign of friendship. "What are you doing here? I thought you left town for good!"
"I did. But, uh, I decided to come back," Cordy said hesitantly, as Aura dragged her towards the front door. "It was just...a whim, really. Guess I missed the old home town too much."
"I thought you once said, though, that you would kill to be so close to that many shoes in LA?" Aura asked in confusion as she paid the cover charge and they went inside the Bronze.
"Yeah. But you can get too much of a good thing in the big city," Cordy muttered, her second lie coming out of her mouth tonight. "Oh, let me pay you back for-"
"Forget it, it's on me," Aura dismissed her offer to pay for the entry fee. "So, spill. What's been going on with you lately?"
Cordelia wasn't sure if she could trust Aura with the news that she was now poor and sharing the rent with her cheater ex-boyfriend. She never got the chance to say anything however as the former Cordettes all converged on the female pair, fake smiles and smarmy expressions on their spoiled, suntanned features.
"Well, look who's here!" Aphrodesia Kingsbury said snidely. "Cordelia Chase, as I live and breathe. What are you doing here amongst us...oh, what was it you called Harmony that one time? Sheep?"
"That's right," the girl known as Kate nodded her head. "Airheaded sheep, I believe she said. Big words, coming from someone whose father is in prison for tax fraud."
"And whose mother is dedicating herself to a series of drunken affairs, according to all the gossip lately," laughed the third girl named Joy.
For a moment Aura looked stunned, staring at Cordelia in disbelief. Then she said to the others, "Hey, come on, I thought we were all friends back in high school!"
"Yeah, right," Joy told her. "Newsflash, Aura, but deep down the rest of us all thought Cordelia was an uncaring, insensitive, snotty, shallow bitch."
( Why is she even here, damn it? Shouldn't these shrews be off finding rich husbands at some Ivy League college? ) Cordelia fumed. She wanted to either lash out or find a deep hole and crawl into it for the rest of her life.
But as Fate would have it, divine intervention occurred in the form of her new roommate, Xander. "Well, hello everybody. Now I find myself looking at you three ladies, and so I gotta ask: why's it feel like someone's just completely sucked the life out of the room?" Harris said to the group, distracting the evil trio from further tormenting Cordelia.
"Beat it, you loser," Aphrodesia said, disgusted at actually deigning to speak to a guy she'd always despised during high school.
"Yeah. This conversation is reserved for people who have a future working somewhere other than Doublemeat Palace," Joy sneered.
"Not to mention people who actually have a fashion sense," Kate added.
"Now I'm hurt. Oh wait, no I'm not. Anyone would think you'd completely forgotten about a huge snake at Graduation, and how I helped save all your lives then. So would you girls like me to arrange for a meeting with, oh how shall I put this, another Sunnydale special?" Xander asked, a hint of steel appearing in his voice.
Aphrodesia, Joy and Kate moved away from him at once. Xander might have been an ostracized outcast, but he also travelled in the orbit of the class protector, Buffy Summers, and everyone knew when to back off if he ever played that card. Even these three spoiled lemmings understood that.
"Later, you moron," Aphrodesia scoffed as she turned away.
"Dweeb," "Dork," Kate and Joy echoed as they all left, getting in a parting shot at Cordelia as they knew how she had called Xander such names nearly all her life.
Aura just stared at her female friend. "Cordelia?"
"Yeah, what they said, it's all true. And I'm broke now, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?" Miss Chase snapped, lashing out at precisely the wrong person. "I'm so down and out, I'm even reduced to sharing an apartment with Xander!"
Aura just shook her head in disappointment as she left as well. Harris came over to his ex-girlfriend and asked, "You okay?"
"Am I okay, he asks. Well, do I LOOK okay?" Cordelia snarled.
"Sorry. I was just concerned," Xander said softly.
"Yeah, whatever. Why did I ever let you talk me into coming back to this one-Starbucks hellhole?" she wanted to know.
Xander shrugged, apparently thinking it over. Then he said, "You couldn't pay the rent in our charming little hovel all alone?"
"More like I couldn't..." Miss Chase trailed off, glimpsing someone she knew. "Harmony?"
Xander whirled around, desperately looking for the blonde, because he knew that Harmony Kendall was a vampire now. She had recently attempted to bite Willow in the parking lot of the Bronze. "There she is!!" Xander yanked out the stake from his pocket and gave chase.
Cursing softly, Cordelia followed after him. ( God, we're back in Sunnydale for like five minutes, and it's just like high school all over again! )
They raced out of the club's rear entrance, only to behold the grisly sight of Harmony dropping Joy's corpse to the ground in the alley, completely drained of blood. Aura was standing a few feet away, staring at her undead former classmate, unable to believe what she'd just witnessed.
"Hi, Cordelia!" Harmony morphed into her human mask and waved like a complete airhead, as if she hadn't just gotten caught red-handed murdering a human being. Then the blonde stared at Harris and got a disgusted look on her face. "Eww, Xander, what are you doing here? She dumped your loser ass nearly a year ago!"
"You just...you just killed Joy," Cordelia stared in shock at the dead body.
"Well, so what? She was always a complete bitch to me anyway," Harmony said, unable to feel any guilt due to the lack of a soul. "Anyway, what's new?"
"I, I'm dreaming, that's gotta be it. This cannot be happening," Aura told herself, trying desperately to cling to sanity and denial.
"Harmony, I have only two things to say. One, you've got an appointment with a Dust Buster. And two, you became Spike's girlfriend? What, did he lose a bet or something?" Xander advanced forward, stake raised.
"Hey, now don't you talk that way about my blondie bear!" Harmony went back into game face and the fight was on. The female vampire was still very young and yet to master her full capabilities, and that was almost certainly the reason why Xander wasn't killed within the first thirty seconds of the battle. Nonetheless, Harmony had more strength and stamina than the human, and when Xander was on the ground and helpless she roared and came lunging down towards his neck.
Only to get hit on the head with a metal trashcan lid, knocking her away to the side.
"Cordelia, what do you think you're doing?" the vampiric Miss Kendall demanded of Miss Chase as Xander scrambled up. "You just hit me!"
"Well, duh!" Cordelia instinctively used the superior tone of voice she had always utilised back in the day to keep her second-in-command in line. "You were going to kill Xander. Just like you did with Joy."
"Yeah, so? After what he did to you, you should be on my side..." Harmony suddenly had an epiphany, a true marvel especially when she was concerned. "Oh, no! Cordelia, you didn't. You wouldn't. You couldn't! You...and him?"
"Hey, hey, hey! We're not together, together," Miss Chase said a little defensively, glancing momentarily at Aura – who was still acting as if she was trapped in the middle of a nightmare.
"But...?" Harmony pressed the point.
Cordy didn't want to admit it, but finally did so. "Me and Xander are staying at the same apartment so that we can share the expenses and save up some money-"
"Oh, but that's how it always starts," Harmony resumed her human features as she began to rant. "God, you think I can't tell what you two are eventually gonna get up to? This horse's ass is gonna get you pregnant with a special needs child before you even know it-"
"HEY!" both Xander and Cordelia shouted out at the same time, albeit for different reasons.
"See, you're already doing that thing with each other's sentences," Harmony whined. "Forget it, I'm outta here." And with vampiric super-speed, she vanished out of the alley.
Aura stuttered, "W-what...what just happened?"
"Harmony's a vampire, and she murdered Joy. Now she's gone," Cordy summarized it.
Aura babbled, "This isn't...I mean I, I thought that thing at Graduation was it...we all did!"
Xander shook his head and found it was aching more than a little. "Nope, Graduation was kind of a normal day around here, sadly enough. Well, okay, it was a bit more public than your average Sunnydale apocalypse, but apart from that – pretty much business as usual."
Aura was obviously still struggling with all this. "And Harmony really is a, a vampire now? H-how did that happen?"
Cordy replied sadly, "She probably got turned at Graduation. I never saw her afterwards."
Aura just couldn't deal with all this anymore, so without another word she ran back into the Bronze, trying with all her might to repress. Cordelia watched her go and said, "I don't think she's gonna be calling me anytime soon, for us to meet up at the Espresso Pump or anything."
"Come on, let's go. We need to tell Buffy and Giles about what just happened." Xander appeared to be in some distress, the fight with the vampiress had obviously been harder on him than he'd first thought.
( Oh, joy. Like my evening's not complete without talking to the slacker and Miss I'm-So-Full-Of-Myself. ) "Well, then, I'm driving. Gimme your keys," Cordelia said firmly, seeing his new grimace.
"Uh, Cordy-"
"Hey, you so much as make one wisecrack about my driving skills, and the next time I'll let Harmony kill you!" Cordy bristled.
"Right, right. And uh, I think you saved my life just now, Cor," Xander said humbly as they started walking towards his uncle's car. "Thank you. I really mean it."
( Hmm, I guess I did save his lame ass at that. Huh. Well, then I guess I've done my good deed for the year. ) "You're welcome."
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry? Sorry for what?" Miss Chase asked in confusion.
"Everything. Last year. Willow," Xander said simply as they arrived at the parking lot. "Since Harmony brought up the subject I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what happened to you because of me. And I always will be."
The old hurt enveloped Cordelia all over again, but she quickly shook it off. Presently she said, "I must be completely out of my mind for saying this, but...apology accepted. And if you ever tell anybody I actually said that, then I'll kill you myself – and that's just for starters!"
As Cordelia started the '57 Chevy, Xander just nodded silently. ( One step at a time, ) he thought to himself hopefully. ( I mean, there is such a thing as forgiveness, isn't there? )
TBC...