The Ten Days of Akatsuki Christmas
Chapter 1: Prologue
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or Christmas or ANYTHING else.
Summary: One day for each Akatsuki member and Tobi. Orochimaru doesn't get his own day. He does get to do the prologue, however. Spoilers for the entire Christmas series below!
Orochimaru, clad in a Santa suit and waving a candy cane around like a baton, frolics about a wintry wonderland, breaking into rhyme.
"It's December again, December my friends!
Akatsuki is ready, now it begins!
Oh so much to do, so much to say!
So much to go wrong on this holiday!
There are presents to buy
And lights to be hung
Carolers to kill
With a spike to the lungs.
Trees to trim
Snowmen to build
Fruitcake to inspect
If it's poison filled.
So come to the Lair
And enjoy your stay!
If you don't, then
There'll be hell to pay."
Orochimaru stops spinning and glares, pointing the straight end of the candy cane at the 'camera.'
"If ANYONE says ANYTHING about the fat suit, I'm going to shove this candy cane right up their—"
A/N: Merry Fucking Christmas! How do you like Orochimaru's crappy poetry skills? Anyway…below is a breakdown of the entire series (because I want you to bow before my sudden ability to half ass organize a story).
Or maybe it's an early Christmas present from me. And note that this Christmas series is set before the other stories I wrote. It reveals the origins of a few things…heh heh…Oh, and each chapter is a separate day. I haven't actually written all of the chapters yet, so I may change things, depending on how the characters behave.
Chapter 1: Prologue (Orochimaru sets the mood)
Chapter 2: Rigging Up The Lights (featuring electrocuted Hidan, tangled up Tobi and Charcoal Sasori)
Chapter 3: Oh Christmas Tree! (Zetsu is scary as hell)
Chapter 4: Pretty Pretty Presents (The van is loaded up with a full tank of gas and ten Akatsuki, and they go shopping at multiple stores. Why does Itachi have an extra present for himself?)
Chapter 5: Attack of the Carolers (Origin (and intended purpose) of the Gumby mailbox mentioned in "Reading Material." Why doesn't anyone like that story? Go read it, dammit!)
Chapter 6: Orochimaru's World Famous Fruitcake (Remember Orochimaru's World Famous Stuffing in "Thanksgiving at the Akatsuki Lair"? Well, he makes fruit cake too.)
Chapter 7: Snow Day (Snow angels, igloos, shoveling and cleaning off the van)
Chapter 8: Fighting Under The Mistletoe (Some people kiss under Mistletoe. Try that with Hidan and see what happens.)
Chapter 9: Massacre at Happy Oats Reindeer Farm (After Hidan gets through with it, the farm ain't so happy anymore. The reindeer started it, seriously!)
Chapter 10: Drunk Akatsuki! (This is the last time Akatsuki were allowed to drink before Pein banned booze from the Lair.)
Chapter 11: Mary Fudging Chrissy Mix (it takes eight Akatsuki to put together one Hot Wheels set, but that's probably because seven of them are hung over and one of them is STILL drunk.)
Chapter 12: Epilogue (?)