THE LAST SUPPER

(an add in to "Resolutions", set on their last night on New Earth)

"Kathryn, hurry up, your dinner is getting cold!" Chakotay yelled as he put another plate over her food, trying to keep it warm.

She emerged from her room dragging a large duffle bag. "I'll be right there; I just wanted to finish getting everything packed up so we'd have the rest of the evening free."

"Here, let me," he said as he took the bag from her, picked it up and slung it over his shoulder. "Jeez, Kathryn, this thing weighs a ton! What have you got in here, rocks?"

She gave him a pat on the back. "As a matter of fact, yes. I packed the geological specimens I gathered in there with my clothes, I want to study them when we get back to the ship, I didn't have the proper equipment to thoroughly examine them here." She went back to her room and emerged with two smaller bags as she followed him to the pile outside the shelter and dumped them down. "There, all my specimens, that's the last of it, I packed everything but my uniform and what I'd need for tonight and tomorrow morning. We're certainly leaving New Earth with a lot more than we came with, aren't we, Chakotay?"

He put his hand on her back and gently rubbed it as she turned to go back to the shelter. "I hope so, Kathryn, I certainly hope so. Have a seat, I hope the food isn't cold; I already packed up the replicator and all the rest of the kitchen equipment."

Kathryn removed the covers and surveyed the array of food on the table, sneaking a taste here and there, before she finally dove into her plate. "Chakotay, this is marvelous, I think this is the best meal you've ever prepared! If all the kitchen stuff is packed already, how'd you do it?"

He offered her rolls from a basket. "Well, I replicated all the ingredients before I packed up, so it's all home cooked, so to speak. I saved a cargo container and I'll just shove all the dirty pans and dishes in it after dinner, unless of course you feel like washing them. More wine?"

"Please," she replied as she held up her glass. "This wine is excellent too; we'll have to have it again soon. I most certainly don't feel like doing the dishes either, so just send 'em back up dirty!" she giggled as she sipped her wine.

Chakotay gave her a warm smile. "Aye aye, Captain!"

Kathryn sat her wine glass down and sighed. "Captain! Do you realize I have to go back to being Captain Janeway tomorrow?"

He reached across the table and gave her hand a squeeze. "Kathryn, I thought you liked the job? Are you having second thoughts… about going back?"

She immediately withdrew her hand and dismissed him, "No, of course not, I have to go back!" After a moment, Kathryn reached across the table and took his hand. "Chakotay, do you want to stay here? If you do, you know I'd have to let you, I couldn't really order you back to the ship and, even if I could, I wouldn't do that if staying here would make you happy."

She moved to withdraw her hand, but he clasped it tightly. "Would you stay here with me, Kathryn?"

Kathryn put her other hand over his and smiled slightly as she lost the battle to keep the tear at the corner of her right eye at bay. Her voice was barely a whisper as she replied, "Chakotay, you know I can't, but I was serious, if you want to stay here, I would understand."

Chakotay reached across the table and wiped away her tear. Sensing that the conversation was becoming too intense for her, he grinned and said, "I guess I'll go back too, you could never run that ship without me!"

She gave him a swat. "You! I'll have you know I could run Voyager with a crew of nothing more than that monkey and his friends out there!" Kathryn took a another sip of wine, mulling it and her thoughts for a few moments before she swallowed and spoke again. "Chakotay, I could run the ship without you, but I don't think I could be me without you, not now."

He found his tears starting to betray him too. "Don't worry, Kathryn, you won't have to. What I said to you the other night wasn't just a story, it was a promise too. I would only stay here if you'd stay with me, but I understand why you can't and I respect you for it. We both have an obligation to those people up there. As long as we're together, I don't really care where we are."

Chakotay rose, knelt behind Kathryn's chair and put his arms around her shoulders. She put her arms over his, leaned her head back on his shoulder next to his, closed her eyes and sighed. They stayed there like that for awhile, saying nothing. Their breathing became rhythmic, synchronized, as they felt the little nuances of each other. Kathryn felt the weight of his arms, heavy yet comforting, warm and welcome. He drank in her scent, sweaty from working hard all day, yet she somehow always smelled good, so very good. His breath was warm and moist on her skin and smelled of wine; it was sensual and intoxicating, just like the man himself. Chakotay could feel Kathryn's pulse on his arms; just like her it was strong and steady, even though it came from such tiny delicate little wrists. He put his lips to her ear, desperately wanting to take her earlobe into his mouth, to taste her scent for the first time, but he didn't dare. She let the faintest of sighs escape from her lips as her eyes opened. She looked him in the eyes as her mouth opened to speak, but he put his lips over hers and silenced them with a gentle first kiss.

"No, Chakotay, we can't," she said as she turned her head away and let go of his arms. "I'm sorry, we can't; let's just finish dinner before it gets cold."

"All right," he replied as he slid his arms off her, giving the tops of her shoulders a gently squeeze as he stood. He sat back down, picked up his fork, looked at her and smiled. "I'm sorry, I'd tell you I don't know what just came over me, but it would be a lie. I'd never kissed you before, Kathryn, and, well, I just had to, I couldn't help myself, even if it's the only kiss I ever get."

She stopped eating and just played with the food on her plate. "It's OK, but you have to understand that you… we can't do that again."

Chakotay poured more wine. "Might as well finish it up! Kathryn, if you don't want me to do that again, I won't, but will you tell me, if we didn't have to go back to the ship tomorrow, would you have said the same thing?"

She met his gaze, "Chakotay, if we didn't have to go back to the ship, would you have done the same thing?"

He took a sip of wine and grinned. "Probably, I've been working up the nerve to kiss you for the last couple of days. Kathryn, you didn't answer my question, if Voyager weren't up there right now, would you have kissed me back instead of pushed me away?"

She finally went back to eating and grinned a little. "Probably." Her grin faded as she went on, "Chakotay, tomorrow we have to be the captain and first officer again and you know as well as I do we can't… be involved, not like that."

"It was only a kiss, Kathryn! OK, I'm being facetious, but I don't think I'm being presumptuous in saying that we've become a lot closer here, haven't we? Haven't we become about as intimate as two people can be without actually being physically intimate?"

Kathryn finished chewing and swallowed hard before she answered. "Yes, I won't deny that, but you need to understand that it can't go any farther, Chakotay, it just can't." Another tear threatened as she softly said, "Chakotay, I'm sorry, I really am sorry." She caught the tear with her little finger and did her best to smile. "Can you please pass me another roll?"

"Here you go, might as well finish them up too. I understand, and, if that's your decision, I'll abide by it of course. Kathryn, can you look me straight in the eye and tell me that, if we went in there and made love right now, you wouldn't be able to get up in the morning, slap your pips back on and go command your ship?"

"Chakotay!" Kathryn's fork hit that plate with a clang.

"I'm serious, Kathryn, would it make such a difference? I'm not talking about rules and regulations; I'm just talking about us. Do you think I'd stop obeying your orders or you wouldn't be able to give them or the crew would stop obeying them? Face it, Kathryn, as long as we've been here, they're going to think we're lovers anyhow." Chakotay handed her fork back to her and giggled, "Shit, Kathryn, Tom Paris is probably already taking bets on it!"

She resumed eating. "I wouldn't doubt it, I'll have to have a word with my first officer and see that he puts a stop to it. You do have a point, but, just because they all think we're doing it doesn't mean that it's OK, that we should."

It was his turn to drop his fork. "Of course it doesn't! Kathryn, it should only happen because we're both ready and want it to. I don't necessarily mean here and now or all at once. Give me a little credit, I wasn't trying to get you into bed, it was just a kiss, Kathryn. What I am trying to say is, well, wouldn't you at least consider leaving the possibility open, the possibility that maybe we could at least hold hands and cuddle every now and then or maybe try another kiss some day… see where things go?" He put his dimples and eyebrows into play. "I can do much better than that kiss, Kathryn!"

"You!" she swore as she threw her napkin at him and got up from the table. "All right, Chakotay, I'll give it some thought. That doesn't mean no and it doesn't mean yes, it just means I'll think about it, OK?" She started to clear the table but Chakotay rose, took the dishes from her and put them back.

"OK, that's all I ask, Kathryn. Here, let me clear the table." Chakotay grabbed all four corners of the tablecloth, picked everything up, set it in the cargo container with the pots and pans and put the lid on. "All done! Now, what would you like to do?"

She held her sides as she laughed. "Oh my gosh, remind me to not use the good china next time you come over for dinner! That was a delicious dinner, Chakotay, one of the best you've ever fixed. I thought it would be nice to take a walk along the river one last time, maybe sit on our rock for a bit. Do we still have a SIMS beacon, or did you pack them all?"

He checked on top of the kitchen cabinet, "Sorry, I packed them and I'm not sure where. I know, there's one in the shuttle right beside the door, I'll go get it. I think a walk would be nice too; it might be a long time before we can find another planet as pretty as this and manage to get away together for shore leave. I don't care what they say, the holodeck isn't the same. I'll be right back."

Kathryn quickly slipped her shoes back on. "I'll go with you, as much as I just ate, I need all the exercise I can get! I want to get to bed early; this may be my last chance at eight hours of blissful uninterrupted sleep for a long time."

He spoke as they made their way to the shuttle. "OK, we won't stay too long, I'm pretty tired too. Oh, I made a thermos of coffee for you before I packed up the replicator."

"Bless you!" she replied as she took his arm and accompanied him down the path that they had worn to the river. It was a favorite place for both of them; she would go down to fish, read or look for interesting specimens; he would go down to meditate, gather sand for his paintings or pick flowers for her. Occasionally they would go together and wade out to a flat rock a few meters from shore that was the perfect size for both of them, 'our rock' they simply called it.

Chakotay climbed up on the rock and extended his hands to pull Kathryn up. Once she was seated he turned off the light and they did what they usually did, sat back to back, in silence, and drank in the sounds of the river and the night.

Kathryn finally broke the silence, "This is nice."

"Yes, it is, I'll miss it."

"Me too."

She pulled up her knees towards her chest and leaned into his back, he did the same, to support her weight.

"Kathryn, you're not mad at me, are you?"

She shifted her position slightly, "Mad? Of course not, what would I be mad about?"

"The kiss."

"It was just a kiss, Chakotay."

"Just a kiss?"

"Well, it wasn't much of a kiss." She giggled a little. "What, are you mad at me, mad that I didn't swoon and throw myself into your arms?"

He gave her a nudge, "I told you I could do better."

"Ahem, yes, you did, and I told you I would think about it, OK?"

"OK, Kathryn. It's getting late, what do you say we head back now?"

"No, if you don't mind, I'd like to stay a little longer."

"OK."

They again sat in silence. Kathryn leaned her head back and looked up at the stars while Chakotay tipped his down and watched the moonlight play upon the water. The river had a slow current to it and toyed with the moon's offerings before it let them go. After a few minutes Kathryn turned, held her knees to her chest and let her chin rest upon them. Chakotay laid on his back and looked up at the stars as he let his feet dangle in the warm water. They were again silent, becoming a part of the night and hoping that it would forever be a part of them.

"Kathryn?" Receiving no reply, Chakotay gently touched her back. "Kathryn, did you fall asleep again?"

She turned and looked at him. "No, sorry, I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"This," she replied as she leaned down and kissed him.

THE END

11/04/07